Chapter Fourteen
Snow Bash was the sought-after party invite of February. Sam dressed me in a blue, strapless cocktail dress and pinned my hair up. Friday night came with the agenda of finding a rebound guy.
She handed our invite to the plebe at the door, flashing him a killer smile before yanking me inside. Her sequin-covered dress lit up like a disco ball. We fought our way through the crowd to the bar as memories of Riley bombarded me. He’d loved his stupid frat parties.
A cute blond guy with dimples came over with two red solo cups. “Would you girls like a drink?”
“No thanks. We’re headed to the bar.” I flashed him a smile to take the sting out of my words. I wasn’t rejecting him, just the drinks. No chance in hell was I taking a drink some stranger had poured, or poured something into.
Sam clutched my hand and hauled me toward the bar, weaving in and out of the people both dancing and just hanging out. A DJ was set up in the corner, and Bruno Mars’s “Locked Out of Heaven” blasted on the speakers. Sam squeezed up to the bar, ordered us two Sam Adams, and popped the bottles. “Here’s to rebounds.”
We clinked our bottles, and I took a long pull of the Cherry Wheat. Rebound. The goal tonight was to find a suitable guy. Someone who would take my mind off Dad, and April’s crap, and Mom, and Riley, and . . . and . . . Josh. Yeah, right.
The awesome thing about grief was that it took precedence in my heart, consumed every other pain until I chose to let it in. Dad’s death overshadowed Riley’s betrayal like a broken leg to a stubbed toe.
I just wondered which one would leave harsher scars over the long haul.
“What about him?” Sam pointed to a frat boy with dark brown hair and a nice smile.
“Too short.”
“Okay . . . him?” She gestured toward another guy. Good build, good height.
“No smile.”
She sighed and turned. “Hmm . . . him?” This time it was a blonde. Perfect build, dressed like an Abercrombie model.
My stomach lurched. “Too Riley.”
“Point taken.” We leaned against the bar. Sure, there were a lot of guys girls would drool over. It didn’t take long to peg my problem.
None of these guys were Josh.
A smokin’ hot dirty-blonde, wearing the frat’s polo, tapped his bottle on the mouth of Sam’s, causing beer to spill out everywhere. “Hey!” she shouted, jumping back to keep her shoes from being ruined. “Deacon! Why do you have to be such a jerk?”
He grinned and popped a peanut from a nearby bowl into his mouth. “Sam, you’re looking mighty fine this evening.”
“It’s not going to happen.” I knew that look on her face. She liked him, but not enough to go after him. She smiled as another guy with gorgeous Hispanic features walked over. “Have you guys met Ember?” She tilted her head my way. “Ember, this is Deacon and Mark.”
Mark’s smile was kind and welcoming. “Nice to meet you, Ember.”
Deacon’s green eyes scanned over me. When I thought about choosing someone who wasn’t Josh, a wave of uneasiness churned in my stomach, but I pushed it away. If I was going to hunt for a rebound, someone to lose myself in for a while, then Deacon might fit the bill.
He gave me a slow smile and reached for my hand. I hesitated, but gave it to him. Instead of shaking it, he lifted it to his face, flipped it, and pressed a kiss to my palm. “It’s a delight to meet you . . .” He paused, raking his eyes over me again. “Ember.”
Um. No. The violation of my space by that kiss locked my muscles in revulsion for an instant. I swallowed, willing myself to relax. As soon as my panic wasn’t obvious, I withdrew my hand, forcing the smile to stay on my face. “You, too, Deacon.”
Jagger slid between Deacon and Sam. “Watch out, Deke. Josh has dibs on this one.”
Annoyance itched at me. “Josh does not have dibs on me. We’re not dating.”
Jagger’s eyes narrowed. “You sure about that?”
Was I? We had to be only friends, at least until I wasn’t such a wreck. I’d already made that decision, right? Right. “I’m sure.”
“In that case.” Deacon closed the distance between us and tugged me up against him. “Wanna dance?”
Sam gave me the head-nod urge, and Jagger grimaced, no doubt disappointed in my choice. This was what I was here for, what I’d decided to do. Stick to the rebound plan. “Sure.”
Deacon pulled me onto the floor to something a little dirtier. Rihanna’s “S&M” came over the speakers, and everyone around us got even closer, if that was possible. Deacon crooked his finger at me, and I slid up next to him, ecstatic to lose myself in the beat. Dancing was one area I could let loose.
He yanked me closer, pushing his pelvis into mine. Whoa, buddy. His hands drifted over my back, gripping my waist and headed south to my hips. I repeated the “this is okay” mantra in my head. After all, if I rebounded with a guy, I had to let him touch me. I had to enjoy him touching me. Yes. I could do this.
He moved against me, turning himself on, but I just couldn’t relax. I couldn’t let myself go like usual. I cringed every time he moved his hips against me. Put that thing away already.
His hands gripped my butt, pulling me up higher on him as he ground against me. “Damn, baby, you’re gorgeous,” he whispered in my ear. His hot breath reeked of beer.
It was the final straw. I raised my hands and pushed back against his chest. “Deacon, no.”
That was all I got out before a giant body came between us. I caught his familiar scent before hearing his voice. “Back the f*ck off, Deke.”
“Whoa, she said she wanted to dance, Walker.” Deacon stood a head shorter than Josh, and nowhere near as intimidating.
“She didn’t say she wanted her ass grabbed, did she?”
I stepped around Josh’s back and slid between them, facing Josh. “It’s over, Josh. Nothing to worry about.”
He kept his focus on Deacon, and if looks could kill . . . Yeah. “Go the hell away, Deke, and don’t come near Ember again.”
Deacon put his hands up like he was under arrest, gave me a shrug, and walked away.
“Seriously, Josh?” I jabbed my finger into his chest. “I had it handled. You didn’t need to go all caveman.” But I was glad he did. Hell, I was glad to see him. “What are you doing here?”
He smiled and pointed to the frat letters embroidered on his shirt. “How did you think you got these tickets?”
“I didn’t peg you for a frat boy.” A twinge of disappointment caught me off guard.
He brought his face down to mine, rubbing his nose along my cheekbone to whisper in my ear. “You can’t peg me for anything.”
I pulled away to save my own sanity. I wanted that mouth on more than my cheek, and that’s why I couldn’t have it. Not with him. “Thanks for the rescue.”
“Why were you dancing with Deke?”
“Because I wanted to.”
His eyes narrowed. “Right. I figured that out. Why Deke?”
Because you scare the shit out of me. “He was there.”
He pulled me against him, and my body caught fire. Why couldn’t I freeze up around him? It would make everything so much easier. “Lie to everybody else, December. Not me. I see right through it. Why were you dancing with Deke? What are you looking for?”
I debated lying to him, but what was the use? He’d seen me at my worst. He deserved the truth. “I thought I could rebound.” My face flushed, even with the heat of the party. “I just wanted to forget, to lose myself for a while in something that doesn’t hurt. Everything still hurts.”
His eyes bored into mine, stripping my soul raw. “Dance with me.” It wasn’t a question.
“I can’t use you.”
“It’s not using if I want it. Besides, it’s just dancing, and I think that’s covered under the whatever-you-need clause of our unwritten contract.”
“Contract, huh?” I couldn’t stop my smile.
His was slow and downright sexy. “Contract, vow, promise, whatever. It all means I’m your whatever, and whatever means dance. Now.”
He was perfect, and I was helpless. I slid up to him and moved to the music. Pressing myself against him, I forgot everything but the beat pounding through me and the movement of my hips with it.
Big mistake, looking up into those gorgeous brown eyes. Going. Going. Gone. The need to touch him, to feel his hands on my body clawed through me. I nearly groaned remembering what he could do with those hands. “Whatever?” I asked, testing my boundaries.
“I’ll never tell you no if I can help it.”
Locked into his eyes, I reached my hands out, stroking over his muscled shoulders. I ran my fingers down his biceps and arms, savoring the tingles in my fingers and the spark in his eyes. When I reached his hands, I couldn’t manage a seductive smile, so I simply grasped his hands and put them on my waist. “Is this okay?”
He pulled me close to his body in answer, fitting my legs so that I straddled one of his, and then moved me in perfect synchronization. Two seconds in Josh’s arms, and I was ready to forget any rebound plan had ever existed. My dress rode up higher on my thighs.
He held me to him, and I let go. Where I moved with the music, he followed, his hands moving up and down my back, skimming over my skin where the dress ended and sending shivers through me. Two songs, three, and the sweat beaded between my breasts. Thank God my hair was up. I turned around, pressing my back into him. He kept up with me move for move. His head slipped to my shoulder, and he kissed the skin there. My head fell back against his chest as he pulled me against him tighter. His tongue stroked over my neck just before his teeth grazed across me, and his hands moved lower to my hips. The loud music camouflaged my moan to the other dancers around us, but he heard it. His fingers bit into my skin in response. I was crossing the line, but I pushed back against him, needing to feel that he wanted me.
He did. I shamelessly moved my hips against him.
“December . . .” My name was a whispered plea on his lips.
I turned in his arms, but kept my body as close as before, rubbing against him in every place I could. A familiar ache stirred in me. I needed to feel his mouth on me. I ran my hands up the smooth line of his back, wrapping one around his neck while the other grabbed onto his hair and pulled him to me. “Josh?” I asked. I wouldn’t force him into something he didn’t want. Please, please want me.
His gaze dropped to my raised, parted lips, and after a breath, he plunged. With one movement, he was on me, his tongue in my mouth, stroking, enflaming. I kissed him back just as fiercely. This was exactly what I needed, exactly who I needed. Josh.
F*ck the plan.
I leaned into him on my tiptoes, my heels still not bringing me level to him. His hands moved from my hips to my ass, and without strain, he lifted me against him, right where he somehow knew I needed him to be. There. God, yes. There. “Josh . . .” I groaned against his mouth, giving up every pretense of dancing.
His tongue moved in and out of my mouth, stoking the fire that was threatening to burn my body alive. I barely remembered we were on a dance floor. Kissing Josh robbed every logical thought from my head and left me with a base need: his body on mine. The ache between my thighs built with every onslaught of his mouth, like he had a direct line to my core.
He pulled his mouth away, his breathing hitched in a way that had me wanting to push him for more. “F*ck . . . December . . .”
Now that sounded like a plan I could go with. “Upstairs?” I asked, too turned-on to be embarrassed by what I was asking.
He leaned back, looking into my eyes. “Here?”
I brought his lips to mine, speaking against their softness. “You said whatever I need, right?” He nodded. “I need you to make this ache stop, Josh. You’re the only one who can.”
Without another word, he led me through the crowd. People reached out for him, calling his name, but he only acknowledged with a nod. A smile of feminine satisfaction spread across my face. His mind was only on me.
He pulled me up next to him at the steps, keeping his hand on the small of my back as we nearly ran up the carpeted staircase. He steered me to the left when the hallway split, entering the first room on the right. The noise from the party was muffled as he shut the door, the only light in the room coming from a lava lamp in the corner. That was all I saw before he spun me, pressing me back against the door. “Whose room?” I got out breathlessly, not really caring.
“Mark’s. He won’t mind.”
Josh’s eyes were dark, intense. He was as turned-on as I was, and I loved it. This time I attacked, bringing myself up to his mouth and sweeping my tongue inside, tasting nothing but the addicting flavor of Josh. He reached behind my knee and lifted my leg to curl against his hip, then ran his hand down the back of my thigh, under my dress, to my rear. My dress slid up my thighs to my waist. Good. Better access.
I rocked my hips into him as he ground against me. If he moved just a few more times like that, I was going to come against the damn wall. Yes, please. His mouth left mine to stroke his tongue down my neck, nipping and sucking as he went.
A sound like a whimper escaped my throat when he kissed his way across my collarbone and buried his nose into the valley between my breasts. “So damn sweet,” he muttered. His hands gathered the fabric around my waist and he tugged, popping my breasts free of the neckline. He nudged the line of my strapless bra down and flicked his tongue over my nipple.
He groaned, or I did. Whatever.
I held his head to me, needing more. Deeper. Like he read my mind, he obliged, pulling my nipple into his mouth and sucking. “Josh . . .” His name was ripped from me.
With my breast in his mouth, he carried me, turning toward the bed. He sank to the surface with me. His weight was perfect, holding me to the earth when I was ready to fly away. I slipped my legs down his hips, and he repositioned himself exactly where I needed him, pressed against the throbbing ache that seemed to grow more intense. I wanted all of him against me. I needed to feel his skin.
“Shirt,” I mumbled as I jerked up the ends of his button-down. He pulled away from me long enough to rip the shirt and undershirt over his head, leaving his bare chest above me. “You’re so incredible.” I ran my fingers down the planes and angles of his chest, over the swirls of ink, stopping to stroke the carved lines of his sexy abdominals. It was no wonder half the student body was panting after Josh Walker.
So was I.
“December.” Desire raged through his eyes along with another emotion I was almost scared to name. Tenderness? Caring? He stroked the sides of my face, lowering himself to capture my mouth in a gentle kiss. “You have no idea how perfect you are.”
I dragged my nails down his back, and he drove his hardness against me. I grasped his mouth-watering rear at the same time he claimed my mouth again, bringing me higher and higher. I would never get enough of this frenzy he put me into. I would never get enough of him.
I moved my hips against him, seeking relief from the pressure. “I’m on fire,” I admitted, any embarrassment swept away with the need coiling in my body.
His eyes locked onto mine with a gaze so hot I was amazed I didn’t spontaneously combust. “Me too.” He kissed a path down my chest, stopping to suck on my breasts one after another as his hands worked their way up from my knees, skimming the insides of my thighs. Yes. Yes. Yes. The wicked grin that came across his face told me I’d just said that out loud. He skimmed over the debauched neckline of my dress, to where the hem met my waistline, and then he kissed the soft, exposed skin of my stomach. I arched off the bed.
His hands stroked up my thighs until he reached the edge of my panties, and then the frustrating man paused. Paused! Didn’t he know I needed him to use those hands? I needed his fingers on me. Now. I rolled my hips in a silent plea. “What do you need?” he growled against the skin just above my panty line.
“Josh . . .” I begged.
“Tell me what you need, Ember. I’ll do whatever you want.”
I’ll do whatever you want. The words bounced around my brain like a pinball, lighting up every sex-starved cell in my body. Josh Walker, who I’d fantasized about all through high school, was not only in bed with me, but offering himself on a platter. “You. I need you. I only want you.” The last part slipped out in a whisper before I could stop it, revealing way too much about what was really going on in my heart.
He must not have heard it, because he growled against my skin, and bit into the soft silk of my panties. I lifted my hips, and the man dragged them down without breaking my gaze. Holy. F*cking. Hot. He slipped them off my heels, slid his way back up my body, stopping to lick and suck the area right behind my knee. My breath labored to keep up with my hammering heart.
He brought his head up and stared at me for three breaths, like he was contemplating something. “I have to taste you,” he whispered. His head dipped, his tongue stroked over my *.
“Josh!”
I’d heard stories of how this could feel, but nothing prepared me for the lightning streaking through my body, concentrating where his mouth worked me over. He slipped one finger inside me and stroked in time with the swirling motions of his tongue.
Once.
Everything built, pooling low, tensing the muscles in my legs as my feet dug into the bed.
Twice.
He slipped a second finger in, and my head thrashed on the pillow. My fingers tore into the sheets, and my body coiled tighter and tighter.
Three times.
I saw the stars. My body trembled and bucked against his mouth as bliss poured through me, stretching from my head, through my fingers, to my toes. He gently brought me down, stroking out every aftershock he could with his tongue.
When I finally drew a ragged breath, he moved up my body and kissed me deeply. He tasted like him, and . . . me. “You are f*cking exquisite. Addictive.”
“I don’t even have words for that, what you just did.” My lungs heaved for air.
The smile that came across his face was heart-stopping and gorgeous. “I’ve been dreaming of that for . . .” His brows furrowed, like he was keeping himself in check. “A while.”
My hands slipped down the ridges of his abs, to the waistband of his jeans where his hardness strained. One flick, and I had the button open. Go me!
Josh pulled out my hand and refastened it all in one movement. “Not here.”
Was he rejecting me? Again? “I want this. I want you.”
He dropped to the bed next to me, burying his face in my neck. “God, I want you. But I’m not going to take your virginity in someone else’s bed during a damn party.”
I wiggled my naked hips against him. “I want you to.”
He slid his mouth up, kissing my jawline. His breath was ragged in my ears. “Not until you’re in my bed, Ember. Mine. No one else’s.”
A sound like a foghorn came down the hallway, followed by a shriek. “What is—”
“F*ck.” Josh snagged the bottom of the comforter’s side and jerked it over the two of us, rolling until he was on the other side of me and we were cocooned in darkness. My face pressed against his chest, completely covered by the blanket. As he tugged the blanket up to cover my hair, the door burst open and a foghorn sounded. I slammed my hands over my ears until it stopped.
“Playing through!” A drunken group of frat boys stormed the room, and it sounded . . . like they were putting? Oh yeah, the ping of a golf ball against a club was unmistakable.
Josh pulled me in closer to him. “What the f*ck! Emory! Caleb!”
“Ah, shit! Walker! We totally thought Mark was in here!” Oh yeah, they were toasted.
“Well, apparently he’s not, so get the hell out!”
My cheeks burned against Josh’s chest.
“Who ya got under there, Walker? You know Jessica Kirtz is looking for you.”
Of course some girl was looking for him. A girl was always looking for him.
He sat up, careful to keep me shielded. “Out. Now!”
“Playing through!” they shouted again. With another shot of the foghorn, they retreated, leaving the door open in their wake.
I sat up, lowering the blanket just past my eyes, and caught a peek of plaid shorts, sweater vests, and pom-pom-adorned berets on three of his fraternity brothers. Those boys went all out.
Josh ripped his hand through his hair. “F*cking freshmen!”
I couldn’t help it, the laughter burst out of me, anything but ladylike. There were even a few snorts. After an incredulous look, Josh joined in until I collapsed against his bare chest, laughing so hard tears watered my vision. It was minutes before I could get myself under control.
I wiped away the last of my tears with a smile.
“I guess you can see why I choose not to live in the house.”
“It’s certainly entertaining.” I leaned up and kissed him softly before any awkwardness could set in. I thought about jumping him, but something about the open door and another foghorn sounding talked me out of it for the moment.
He kissed me back, lingering.
I ran my fingers over the ink of his tattoo, over his chest, curving with his shoulder and onto his arm. When I felt a scar the length of my pinky finger, I smiled. “Bar brawl?” I asked, bending to run my tongue along it.
“Ferocious lizard attack,” he joked.
“Oh thank God!” Sam shouted, barreling into the room like the devil was after her.
“Playing through?” I asked, trying to keep my face serious and failing miserably. Josh and I burst out laughing again.
Sam’s mouth dropped open. “I would almost think this was funny if I didn’t just catch your little sister in a room down the hall with Tyler Rozly.”
“What? April is here? How the hell did she get here? She’s underage!” Lame, but it was the only thought I could get out.
“She’s naked, Ember, and those boys have a camera.”