The instant the door was shut my legs gave out, causing my limp body to fall against the door making a loud thud. I only hoped John had made it to the elevator so he didn’t hear it.
My eyes grazed over the expanse of the condo to the small book shelf that only housed two books. Needing to clear my head, I went into the kitchen and got myself a glass of white wine. Once filled to the brim, I headed back down the hall that was as dark as my soul felt lately to remake my bubble bath and toss out Ben and Jerry. John made sure there would be no threesome tonight.
Before I made it back to the tub, with wine sloshing perilously close to the edge of the glass, I padded my way to the living room window toward a pull I couldn’t control.
The chilled wine was putting out a raging fire as it hit my lips. As I swallowed down the sweet drink in big gulps, I glanced down to see the street below and almost choked at what I saw. John was standing alone on the empty sidewalk like he was waiting for something.
It couldn’t be. His head was turned up in the direction of my place so there was no doubt it was him. My stomach churned at the gorgeous sight.
I forgot how beautiful and masculine he was. The black leather jacket hung off his broad shoulders, highlighting his fair but sharp features, making him look dangerous.
What was he still doing here? Was I not blunt enough? He better have gotten the hint. I don’t think I could chase him away again. Actually, I was positive I couldn’t.
God, I had too.
I didn’t want to lock eyes with him and give any sign of interest, so I backed away from the window. Once a safe distance away, I turned and sprinted to the bath with only the flutter of my curtains as evidence that I had seen.
The encounter from beginning to end scrambled my brain. I had plenty of boyfriends over the years since moving here, never doubting my sex life was good until tonight. Had he always been that way? Surely I would remember.
As I closed my eyes and started to let the tension drain, my doorbell rang. Damn it! That was always his problem. He always tried so hard to make me happy, not wanting to leave until he saw me content. Except for the night it really mattered. The night I thought for sure he’d follow after, but didn’t. This time I stomped out of my bathroom to the front door. I was a woman on the war path.
I swung the door open and yelled, “Damn it, John. I told you we can’t get involved.” When I stopped my blind outburst I saw Grace standing in front of me.
“Well, hi to you too bestie. I came over to make sure you weren’t chopped up into little pieces by the new guy. He is nicknamed Killer after all. Mike and I are going to watch a movie, wanna come over?” Grace asked, waving a movie case in front of me with a big axe on the cover.
“I’m fine.” Not really, but I wasn’t about to tell the nosiest girl in town I was left sexually frustrated and it was my own damn fault.
“Tell Mike I’m sorry for not being much fun tonight.” I blew off the tirade, acting like it hadn’t happened. Not wanting to answer any of her questions.
“Don’t worry about Mike, I have that covered,” Grace answered with a wave of her hand and giddy laugh. I let out a relieved breath that questioning was averted by the subject change.
My luck ran out once her boobs came to a halt a minute after she had. “What’s this about not getting involved? Did John do something to hurt you?” Grace’s brow creased with concern over me.
I rolled my eyes in response, not wanting to talk. “No, he didn’t hurt me.” He did everything but hurt me, I silently answered. “I just can’t get involved with anyone now, Grace, you know that. Since he showed up I didn’t want to lead him on that’s all.”
“Whatever, Faith, he’s a hottie, I don’t understand why not. For someone who doesn’t know you, he sure seemed worried about you.”
If there was ever a moment I was glad I had never told Grace about John this was it. Judging by her reaction, he obviously didn’t tell her our history.
“This problem with Brad will be over soon enough. It’s not like you’re guilty of anything and aren’t worthy of love. If anything it’s the opposite. You deserve much more love than you get from the jerks you date.”
“Thanks, pot calling the kettle black, now go back to your date with Barney,” I said with a flick of my wrist, forcing a fake smile to make my friend feel better. I didn’t want to hear Grace’s usual speech. I knew my self-esteem was shot dead in the water and I didn’t need her to remind me of it. Nothing would build it back up anytime soon so it didn’t matter.
Grace sighed, “He doesn’t look like Barney, knock it off.” Now Grace rolled her eyes at me, her arms crossed over her size Ds.
“If you say so, now let me get back to my bath,” I said, shutting the door on the biggest gossip of the building.
I decided to make it a cold one.
The sweet scent I had inhaled from where she laid under me on the couch was infused in my nose. When I lifted my head to dodge her scent to not torture my hard cock anymore, the smell of summer flowers in her condo took me back to her old bedroom.
I pictured the girl who left me years ago. We would lie on her twin bed after school, curled up together. I would rest my head in her lap and she would run her delicate fingers through my hair, playing with it while we talked about what our future would be. Marriage, kids, even a dog. She would stay home with the kids while I worked.
But this was the new reality. I was never supposed to see any of this, her home, her life. She moved on and never planned to include me.
Now outside, I wondered how I ended up staring at the glow coming from her apartment. The thought made my blood boil. I thought the noise I heard in my ears was the wind from the winter night, but it was the blood rushing into them.
A shadow came into view. It couldn’t be. A soft profile appeared. Was she looking for me? That was the only sign I needed. I wouldn’t give up. But if I stood here any longer watching her, the zipper of my jeans would burst if my cock twitched one more time, asking for release.
On my walk back to my truck I enjoyed the chilly wind that whipped at my throbbing body. The slight relief it gave made me feel marginally better. I still had a hard-on, but it diminished quite a bit. Nothing I couldn’t wait and take care of once I got home.
I was in a shock. The woman I planned to propose to years ago, but lost my nerve, kicked me out flat on my ass. I didn’t even know how I contained myself. I wanted to go back, force myself inside and kiss her until she realized that she was mine.
Then it sunk in, the same thought I had while in her place. The warm condo and warmer woman I left mere minutes ago were never meant to be seen by my eyes. Faith never wanted me to find her. She moved on, never looking back, not wanting me to be a part of the new life that she created.
Maybe she did mean it when she said she didn’t love me. If she loved me, would she have done that to me? I wasn’t going to let her off that easy. I wanted answers. I wanted her.
The only thing I did know positively was the woman I tried to seduce up in that condo wasn’t my ex-girlfriend.
Faith was strong-willed, self-assured, fun. I didn’t recognize the stranger I was storming away from.
The last night we saw each other we met at a deserted baseball field. We favored one of the dugouts because the backside faced the street to help keep our extracurricular activities from prying eyes.
When the dugouts were new they had been a royal blue, not a chip in the entire enclosure. Over the years, with lack of upkeep, it had turned into a faded peeling shell.
It was a miracle that the slightest breeze didn’t tip it over. The condition didn’t matter to me. I only saw it as it had been when we’d first found our secret spot while in high school.
I realized it was juvenile to want to meet in our former high school rendezvous, but I couldn’t resist. I needed to use all of my secret weapons tonight. Feeling the hard box in my front pocket, I knew I had to convince her to stay.
A blanket was spread out at home base so we could watch the stars. But not before I checked for stones underneath, I wasn’t going to take any chances on having the night ruined. Once I was convinced the blanket was perfect, I started to lay the rest of my plan of seduction out. A bucket of ice cradling champagne at the upper left corner, a dozen mauve calla lilies directly across from the bottle at the right end, my Ipod at the other corner playing Michael Buble and, on the final corner, I set out a faded brown journal with a silk crimson colored book mark placed inside.
By the time I was done, I was sure she should have been there. My phone didn’t show any missed messages and she was fifteen minutes late. I sent her a text and waited.
I was about to text Faith again when, as if on cue, a light wind picked up and she was walking towards me. My heart jumped into my throat. It always did when I saw her, but tonight it stayed there, frozen in fear of rejection.
Her black hair was blowing untamed around her head, making me wish I was the cause for it. It was a wet dream brought to life. The summer dress she had on was flowing and fluttering like the kind of kisses I wanted to do against her creamy thighs.
Before she could cross any more of the field, I darted up to her, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist, pulling her against me hard, attacking her mouth with a long, desperate kiss.
As our lips separated I noticed faint circles around her eyes. “You had a soccer game today?” I asked, while also noticing her nose looked messed up.
“What?” Faith asked seeming confused.
“You have the start of black eyes,” I said tracing the light purple hue of one of the circles tenderly with my thumb. “Did you break your nose trying to head bump the ball?”
“Yeah, I guess.” She fidgeted in her spot before continuing, “I made a pretty stupid move.” Faith’s cheeks flushed with the admission.
Faith prided herself on being one of the best defensive players on her team. To get a broken nose from such a simple move for her was a huge deal.
Faith’s eyes moved to the scene I had carefully set up, bringing me back to the reason we were here. I had been so enveloped in her injuries I missed her reaction to what I had done to surprise her. Without letting go I stood back, excited to see her expression.
The heart that had been stuck in my throat plummeted to my feet. Faith’s eyes were unblinking and her face pale.
Crap, she doesn’t like it.
With a brief kiss on the tip of her nose, I asked, “So, do you like it?” I swayed around in place, waiting for her to respond, feeling as if I were six years old again. Faith didn’t respond.
“Are you surprised?” I asked again. This time when I went to give her a kiss I caught the flash of a downturned mouth and a shine in her eyes. I leaned in and gave her a tender kiss.
I didn’t mean for her to cry. I hated to see her cry.
“You did this for me?” Faith’s voice cracked and she kept her eyes trained on the display I had made. A single fading overhead light shone over the blanket like a weak spotlight.
“Of course I did. You deserve better than this, and one day I want to give it to you, but I hope that tonight this will do. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to have you.”
My stomach hurt, like a vice was squeezing it, with the thought of what I was going to do soon. This wasn’t the reaction I thought she would give, so I was thrown off. I let go of her waist and wrapped her hand in mine and led her to the blanket.
As I reached the edge of the blanket I was met with resistance. Faith stood still, taking in every corner one at a time, her face still blank. I let go of her and sat in the center of the blanket, opening my arms and legs for her to come cuddle with me. It felt like an eternity for her to look at me and see what I was silently asking.
Like a switch, Faith’s expressionless face smiled. She hopped over to me and plopped herself directly in the center of my legs, leaning up against me, letting out a sigh of contentment.
She turned her head up and put a quick kiss on my jaw. “Thank you, this is exactly how I want to remember tonight.” Then she placed another kiss in the same sensitive spot, making me groan.
My cock was already twitching away from the first sight of her. I ate her up, wrapping her up completely with all of my limbs, resting my head on her shoulder, burying my nose in her hair. “You had me worried for a second,” I whispered in her ear. My heart leapt back into my throat as I felt the box digging into my hip.
I planted an open kiss under her ear where I knew she went crazy and felt her tense up under my touch. “We’re okay, right?” I asked, placing another kiss under the last. “You seem a little tense.”
Faith tilted her head, giving me easier access to her throat, but also letting her see me out of the corner of her eye. “No, John, it’s great. Really,” she said softly.
I made a trail of kisses leading to the curve of her shoulder before saying, “Then what’s wrong? Something doesn’t feel right, Faith.” I put another kiss on her shoulder. “You can tell me anything. Don’t you trust me?”
“John, you’re one of the only people I do trust. I just want you to make love to me. Please.”
“There’s no rush. I want tonight to be special.
Did you get to see everything?” I looked around and then back at her. “Do you want some champagne?”
Faith shook her head, her eyes heavy with lust. That was all I needed. My mouth was on hers before she could take another breath.
My stiff cock pushed against her mound through her thin dress as I pulled the straps down to free her breasts. My mouth moved down, covering the exposed puckering nipple, engulfing it with the heat of my mouth as I suckled to make it tighter.
I rolled and pinched the opposite nipple as I continued to tease the first with my mouth. Faith let a purr escape her throat, her body going completely slack in my hands.
The free hand went up her dress and found drenched panties. “Faith, I don’t think I’ve ever felt you this wet before. Shit, it’s making me harder. I didn’t even know that was possible.”
With one tug I ripped off her panties, her arousal hitting my nose. “God, Faith, Do you have any idea how hard I’m trying to control myself right now?” I shoved her panties in my pocket for safe keeping next to the box.
Her smell drove me insane. I ground my stone hard cock that was still hiding behind my jeans against her heat. Instead of relieving me of my pain it made me cringe more.
Faith could only shake her head and moan. I had never been like this with her before and she was completely lost to me. Her eyes were glued to mine, telling me something but I couldn’t figure out what. She reached a hungry hand between us and rubbed my cock. With the attention she gave me and the surge of emotions I felt for her I was ready to come.
I went back to the burning slit between her legs and inserted first one finger, massaging her inside until she let out another purr. To make her nice and soaked, I inserted another finger and found her sensitive spot, rubbing. I wanted to drive her mad, adding my thumb in circular motions to her * as I finger f*cked her. She started to clench my fingers with her p-ssy, arching her back up involuntarily.
She screamed out, “Yes, yes, yes. More, more,” her words coming between pants. I kept up my relentless attack until I could feel her squirt on my finger, her come dripping down onto my hand.
I didn’t want her to forget this night as long as we lived. I knew I wouldn’t.
“Ouch. John, something’s poking me.”
“How could it not, you’re so damn sexy. That was such a turn on. I don’t know how I didn’t come just by watching,” I said, with a smug chuckle.
“No, John. It’s in your pocket. What is it?”
I had gotten so swept up in Faith I forgot about the ring I was planning to give her. I had meant to do that first.
“Don’t worry about that. It’s for you, but I can give it to you later.” I hiked up her dress as I descended, meeting the top of her curls that I loved. Like two magnets pulled to each other, I sucked in her *.
I licked her from top to bottom making her wetter than she already was.
“John, please I need you in me.”
“I know, baby, you’ll get it, trust me.” I was answered back with a hand full of my hair being pulled eagerly.
A burning filled where she tugged and it got me excited, making me want to pleasure her even more.
Once I drove her to the verge again, I undid my pants and slid the entire length of my cock deep inside her. With slow, steady thrusts, I worked her until she was scratching at my back, pulling my hair, screaming like a wild animal. “Harder, John, faster. I don’t want to forget this. Please,” she screeched out as I pounded into her again and again, bringing us both to climax.
“Faith, I love you,” I groaned out as my hot cum spurted inside her. I buried my head deep into her neck and breathed in the smell of her, me, us.
We both lay in silence, trying to catch our breath. I rolled onto my back taking her with me.
Had it always been like this, or was it because tonight would be special? I was trying to remember. Another gust of wind blew, causing the sweat on my skin to form goose bumps.
I helped Faith fix her dress, making sure not to touch bruises I noticed forming on her ribs. Damn, girls played hard. Once we had our clothes back in place, I got up to get us a drink.
“You sure earned this, sweetheart,” I said, opening the bottle like a pro, not spilling a drop. It only took me ten bottles and a couple hundred dollars to make it look that easy.
Faith was sitting curled up with her legs bent to her chest, her head resting on her knees, watching me. She could watch me for days. She would tell me she loved the way I moved so deliberate.
“No, I didn’t. You did everything,” she said, with a dreamy voice.
“Umm, wrong. Do you want to see the blood on my back? Will that be enough proof? I didn’t realize I had my own kitty, meow. I can only hope you’ll grow up to be my cougar.” I lifted an eyebrow, giving her a wink.
Faith smiled, shaking her head at me. I could always make her laugh.
“Faith, you look pale. Are you feeling all right,” my joking, disappeared. I put the back of my hand to her forehead. “You feel fine. What is it?” I rested my hand on her bare shoulder and bent down to look her in the eyes. She looked away.
Faith was rubbing her hands on her sundress. Before I could ask her about it, she jumped up. “I can’t stay, John, I need to go.” She looked around like she was forgetting something.”
“What?”
“John, I have to go. I love you for doing this for me.” The color in her face was slowly draining.
“You can’t leave yet, we have to talk. I have to ask you something really important.” I couldn’t let her leave yet. I hadn’t done what I needed to do. A surge of panic steamrolled over me. I knew I had to persuade her to stay longer, but how?
“We haven’t had a chance to really say hi yet. You haven’t had any champagne. I wanted to make tonight special.” I tried not to let my hysteria show, but I doubted I was successful. It was like Godzilla stepping on your home hysteria.
“Making me gush like a faucet wasn’t saying hi? I would hate to see what would happen if you said good-bye,” Faith said. Her eyes bugged out for a split second and then she looked around, almost as anxious as I felt. She was raking her hands through her raven hair, fidgeting with her hands, unable to hold still. Her eyes were shining, ready to break down into tears. She didn’t notice my turmoil. I must have been hiding mine better.
“I like to think of it more as a handshake,” I said, with a weak chuckle, wanting to lighten our moods.
Faith’s coloring quickly turned pasty. I went to her, pinning her arms to her sides to keep her near me, but it didn’t stop her from looking everywhere else except at me.
“Faith, calm down. Do you not feel well, is that it?” I had to make a conscious effort to not squeeze so tight. I didn’t want to hurt her. Faith only nodded her head, taking a big gulp.
I didn’t want her to associate her marriage proposal with being sick. To be honest, I was feeling unsure about doing it now too. I wished I could have kept my dick in my pants long enough to have asked her when she had first gotten here and then made love to her.
When she asked me so desperately I couldn’t deny her and, truthfully, I didn’t want to. I never denied Faith. I liked seeing her happy, even if it meant we did what she wanted, when she wanted.
“Let me pack all this up and get it in your car. Then I’ll drive you back home.” I let go of her and turned so I could pick everything up.
“No, John, I need to go before I get sick. I don’t want you seeing me this way,” Faith said, her voice sounding farther away with each word that came out.
When I spun back to her she was running to her car. “Faith, wait, don’t leave. I’ll take care of you.” I chased after her, but she must have run when I turned because I couldn’t catch up.
“Don’t worry, John. I’ll call you if I can.”
She got in her car, stuck her head out of the open window, blew me a kiss and then she was gone.
For her to say she wasn’t deserving enough to be with me boggled my mind. All the years we had dated I felt it was me who wasn’t worthy.
What happened to her? I decided I needed to find out. Blessed to find her again, one way or another I was going to get Faith back.
I hadn’t made it very far into her place, but from the looks of it she lived alone. Last I knew her sisters were going to move in with her. They were inseparable. I let my relationship with them end because I couldn’t handle seeing Faith every time I looked at Joy. Not only did I lose my first and only love, but I also lost others I considered family.
Faith’s relationship with George piqued my interest. If George and Faith were serious he never did make it known, and Faith sure didn’t say anything while she and I were doing whatever that was we were doing. Working with George for twenty-four hours at a time let me get to know the guy pretty well. So well I knew not to make chili if I wanted a peaceful night.
Come to think of it, nothing jumped out as any male spending much time with Faith. I would have left things everywhere to mark my territory and stake my claim. A pair of boxers under a cushion, a love note about the great sex on a Post-It on the fridge. Another note about how hot she was on the bathroom mirror, or maybe the album I put together of us on that lonely bookcase. Basically, I would leave anything lying around that would make a strange guy uncomfortable. If I knew I could get away with it, I would mark things like a dog and Faith would be the first one.
By the time I set foot into my condo on Michigan Avenue, I was drained. This place was the only luxury I allowed myself to splurge on with the money I had been left. The only reason I had ended up buying something so extravagant was because everything else I looked at was a pit.
I glanced around noticing how much it shouted typical bachelor pad compared to Faith’s small place.
In the dining room, instead of a table, I had a pool table that was centered between a wall of windows and a solid wall that had a dart board on it. One of the corners was taken up with a keg orator for when I hosted sports parties.
I had a media room on the opposite end of the condo. Who has a media room? This guy, that’s who. I wasn’t looking for it but it was part of the layout, so who am I to argue? On the longest wall opposite the door of that room hung an eighty-inch flat-screen with a chocolate microfiber sectional directly in front.
A burst of loneliness hit me knowing she was so close and wasn’t here with me where she should be.
Between taming my hard on and my temper, I couldn’t handle anymore. I dragged my lead-filled legs over to the fridge. Relieved that I still had a supply of beer from when the guys came over I snagged one. Before taking a chug I put the cold bottle against my still very present bulge to see if that would shock it into submission, it didn’t help.
Not wanting to go any further, I collapsed on the bourbon colored leather couch in the living room, staring out at the lake. I felt as if I had just gotten hit head on by a truck. A very attractive truck named Faith.
Tired of shifting around dealing with what was quickly becoming blue balls, I finished the beer while deciding how I should handle the situation.
The thoughts of Faith that kept reeling in my mind, past and present, is what was prolonging my torture. Instead of ignoring it hoping the pain would go away on its own, I decided to take it into my own hands, literally. I toyed with the idea to jerk myself off while I sat here, but with how much pent up desire I had it would be messy, and I did need a shower, so I figured I’d take care of two birds with one stone. Painfully, I pulled myself up, hobbling to the bathroom undoing my pants as I went, wanting to get a head start on feeling better. I wasted no time in rubbing the throbbing cock, imagining my hand was Faith’s wrapped around me. I already felt the relief with each stroke. I couldn’t wait to get in the shower.