Chapter 23
On the way back to the beach house, I realized I thought of it as home. The house Max and I shared felt like home to me now. Not my parents house, not even the town of Chamberlain. Sapphire Bay was home to me now because that’s where Max was. And I wanted to be wherever he was.
When the taxi dropped me off, the first thing I noticed was that Max’s car was gone. I dialed his number as I let myself into the house. I heard the ringing of a phone as I opened the door. I let out a little whimper of disappointment when I realized that he still hadn’t grabbed it before he left.
I rolled my suitcase back to my room. Then I came back out and sat at the kitchen table. My jewelry was still spread out, taking up the whole area. I listlessly tried to work on a pair of earrings. It was a simple task and yet, I couldn’t manage to concentrate on it at all. I finally gave up and just sat there, staring out at the waves rolling in.
Time began playing its cruel game once again. Each second passing at a rate so slow it shouldn’t be possible. After a few hours had passed by, my whole body was vibrating with nervous energy. It was so intense it was making me ill. I had assumed he’d be back right away and I couldn’t imagine where he’d gone.
Lanna called while I was listlessly poking through the fridge, looking for some strawberry syrup to squirt in my milk. She had heard about Collin from a friend who was friends with one of his neighbors. A neighbor who had seen the ambulance pull in and Collin rolled out.
“But he’s going to be fine, right?” she said.
“Yes, as far as I know.”
“So, since he’s going to be okay,” she said, “I feel like I have the right to ask what kind of an idiot falls down his own stairs?”
“One that was too busy arguing with me to be paying attention,” I admitted with a grimace. “He was also in a hurry, talking on the phone, carrying a huge load of laundry and trying to get past the dog.”
“Then it’s possible it had nothing to do with you. That dude had a truckload of bad karma headed his way,” she grumbled. Then she shifted topics. “I just wanted to check in with you but I’ve got to get going. I met this guy, his name’s Connor—”
“What happened to Mr. Touchy Feely?” I asked.
“Oh,” she said, “he’s long gone. I went to a party with Dani the other night. Connor is a friend of Todd’s so the four of us are going out. What are you and Max up to?”
“Um,” I started and had to take a breath to continue. “Actually, I’m not sure.” I told her about my evening.
“So you came back and he was just gone?”
“Looks that way and I really thought he’d be back by now. I’m kind of freaking out because I really hate how we left things. I mean, that’s why I came back,” I said.
“I’m sure everything’s fine,” she said soothingly. “But if you need anything, or just need to talk, give me a call.”
I thanked her and hung up. I knew I wouldn’t be calling. She was always so willing to give up her time for me. There was no way I was going to call while she was on a date. I glanced at the clock yet again. For the first time since my arrival I cursed not having my own car here. I felt so trapped. If I had my car, I could go look for him. Not that I would have any idea where to start.
Maybe he’d gone back to work?
Or to visit his grandparents?
He still didn’t know that many people in town but he was close to Villette and Charles. I debated awhile, even told myself I really shouldn’t bother them with this. But as those minutes continued to crawl past, and then those minutes turned to a few more hours sneaking by, I finally broke down. I felt so helpless and I didn’t know what else to do. I was grateful that we’d exchanged numbers the day we’d gone out to lunch.
His grandma answered on the third ring.
Please, please let him be there….
“Hi, Villette, it’s Holly.” I tried to keep my voice even. “Have you seen Max?”
“Not since this afternoon when I dropped by the winery.”
“Do you think there’s a chance he’s there?” I doubted it but I had to ask.
“Just a moment.” I heard scuffling noises and hushed voices. “No, Charles is just coming in. He stayed late, like he always does, but he said Max left at his normal time.”
“And he didn’t go back?” I pressed.
She paused for a beat. “I take it that means he’s missing? Has he not come home yet?”
Her voice was heavily laced with concern and I instantly regretted calling her. I didn’t want to admit to her that we’d had a fight. Yet, his grandparents’ house was one of the few places I thought that he would go. I hesitated, unsure of what or how much to tell her.
“My goodness, Holly, it’s getting awfully late. He’s not home yet?” Her tone was no longer tinged in concern. It was positively drenched in it.
I didn’t want to dump my problems on her but I didn’t know how to get out of this conversation without telling her. So that’s what I did.
She listened without interrupting. When I was done, she sighed. “Holly, that grandson of mine has been smitten with you for years. Chamberlain never did grow on that boy. I can’t tell you how many times he’s said the only good thing about Chamberlain was you. I think he would’ve moved back last summer, right out of high school. But I think he had this hope that he’d finally get his chance with you.” She paused and her voice became softer. “I probably have no business telling you this, but we were just sitting down to a family dinner the night he got your message about your engagement. Holly, that boy turned white as a snowflake. He excused himself and rushed out of there. I couldn’t tell you where he went but we didn’t see him the rest of the night. The next morning, he showed up at the winery before Charles had even unlocked the doors. He shocked our socks right off when he said he wanted to come back to help run things.” She paused, “Now, you know as well as I do what that boy was thinking.”
I felt a little sick because now I knew. At the time, I’d had no idea what I’d done to him. He was planning to move to California to get away from me.
“I’m only telling you this because I want to make it perfectly clear that my grandson has been pining after you for years. Now that he has you, he isn’t going to let something like a tiny little fight come between you.”
“It wasn’t exactly tiny,” I sighed.
“Regardless, I know he’ll be back to set things right. He’s probably out blowing off some steam. I wouldn’t worry about a thing. Maybe he’s with that friend of his. What’s his name? Dominic?”
“Darren,” I supplied. I grabbed onto that idea. “Actually, you might be right.” I changed my tone to one of faux-relief because I didn’t want to worry her any more than I already had. “Actually, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. I bet that’s where he is.”
We disconnected with a promise to call if either of us heard from him. After that, I immediately slipped my shoes on and quickly covered the distance to the café. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten until I reached the front doors. Walking around this late wasn’t a habit of mine but I was desperate.
With the way my luck had been going, I hadn’t expected Darren to be there. I blew out a sigh of relief when I saw him. Then my heart sank and I realized a small part of me had thought that just maybe Max was here just hanging out.
“Hey, Darren,” I said when I walked in. “Have you seen Max?”
He glanced up at me and grinned. “Nope.”
“Not at all?” I pressed. “I mean, did he come in earlier to eat? Or have you talked to him at all?”
“No, Holly, I haven’t seen him. Oh, hey,” he said when he saw the look of disappointment on my face. “You really don’t know where he is?”
Would I be walking around in the dark, looking for him if I did? I wondered. I bit back that response and said, “No, that’s why I’m asking you.”
“Did you try calling him?”
“I have his phone. He left without it. He just…we had a fight.”
As I was throwing together a condensed version in my head, Darren threw his arm around my shoulder. “What did a sweet little thing like you do to Max? I’ve known him a long time and I can’t ever remember him being pissed off about anything.”
I couldn’t deny it because he was right.
“I was going to go back to Chamberlain,” I admitted.
His eyes widened and his expression darkened. “Damn, yeah, I could see why he wouldn’t be happy about that. He hasn’t said it but I think he was thinking things might be going somewhere with you two.”
I squirmed out from under the weight of his arm. “He’s right. They are. Or at least they were. I didn’t go. I changed my mind at the last minute. When I got back to the beach house, his car was gone. But I found his phone on the kitchen counter.”
“Huh,” he said. “Okay. But no, I haven’t seen him or heard from him. I’ll let you know if I do. Or if I see him, I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.” He paused and a smile snaked up onto his face. “Better yet, why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call if I see him around?”
I didn’t hesitate. We exchanged numbers and I left, feeling more discouraged and more frantic than I had before.
I went back home, the sun had set and it was dark by the time I returned. I paced around and then I tossed myself onto the couch. I spent the next few hours wondering if I should call the police, bother his grandma again, or just…I didn’t know what. And that was the problem. I was slowly going insane wondering where he was. He didn’t know anyone else in town.
Except Tori.
I blasted that thought out of my head the moment it made an appearance.
And then I paced. And pretended to watch television. And I paced some more. And then, when my nerves were so frazzled I couldn’t take another second of waiting, I burst into tears. I had long passed worried and had barged on into terrified. I didn’t know where he could possibly be. Out of desperation, I called the local hospital. I contemplated calling the police but he was an adult and it hadn’t been even close to twenty-four hours. Wasn’t that the rule? And we’d had a fight. Isn’t that the kind of thing they always pointed out on TV?
I had no choice but to wait it out. I decided I’d call Villette first thing in the morning. If I hadn’t heard from him by then.
I was so sure I’d hear from him by then. I continued to tell myself that he would show up any second. He was probably driving around. He loved his car. He needed to cool off. Maybe he took off and went further than he meant to and now it was taking him longer to get home.
It wasn’t likely but it was the only possibility that I could scrounge up that didn’t leave me ready to burst into another round of tears.
A little after midnight, my phone rang. Relief soared through me, thinking it just had to be Max borrowing someone’s phone. It wasn’t. It was Darren. We spoke briefly as he told me he’d driven around after his shift, looking for Max at a few of the places they used to hang out. There had been no sign of him. He assured me that I was worrying for nothing. Though I was sure I heard an edge of unease in his tone.
This wasn’t like Max at all. And we both knew it.
I jumped up from the couch and wandered through his room again. I wasn’t sure why because he was obviously not in it. I guess maybe it just made me feel closer to him. As nighttime crept closer to morning, my exhaustion finally won out. I already knew from earlier in the summer just how exhausting a crying jag could be. I’d had one after another tonight.
I crawled into Max’s bed. Not only did the scent of his sheets bring me a little bit of comfort but when he came home, I’d know.
I had just settled into his bed. I was reaching for the switch on the lamp when I noticed a small, shimmery, silver box tucked behind it. It had been out of sight from every other angle. It was wrapped with a bright pink bow. I knew I shouldn’t open it. But I’d had a horrible, horrible night. I needed something positive to cling to.
I carefully lifted the lid. Inside, spread out against cobalt blue velvet was a charm bracelet. I ran my fingers over each of the delicate charms: a sun, a seahorse, a sand dollar, an ice-cream cone and last, a tiny bottle of wine.
Tears burned behind my exhausted eyes.
“Max where are you?” I whispered into the empty room. I settled the lid back on top and put it back where I’d found it. I switched off the lamp and then buried myself deep under his blankets.
I didn’t think I’d fall asleep. But I did. In the morning my heart slammed in my chest immediately when I awoke, flooded with memories of the night before. I threw the covers off, hoping just maybe he’d fallen asleep on the couch. It would be just like Max to not want to accidentally wake me up.
As I wandered into the living room, I knew he wouldn’t be there. It didn’t stop me from looking anyway. I stood there a moment, knowing I probably needed to call Villette. I leaned against the door frame for just a moment then decided I needed to do something. So I called my mom.
She gave me an update on Collin. If all went well, he’d be released in a few days.
She noted I sounded upset and assumed it was about him. I hadn’t told her about Max and me yet. I didn’t want to do it then, not under the circumstances. Not after we’d had such a huge fight and he hadn’t come home. I could only imagine what she would think of that. I couldn’t deal with any more negativity right then so I listened as she prattled on about Collin.
Once we hung up, I reached for the box with the beautiful bracelet. I lifted the lid, taking in the charms one by one. I let my mind drift to the memory that each charm stood for. I loved them all. A tear slipped out as I realized how much of an effort Max had put into buying me something meaningful. The sun was my favorite. To me, it signified my old life ending the night I’d first seen it slip under the horizon. Every day since then had been full of promise and new expectations.
As I was running my finger over the tiny ice-cream cone, my phone rang. I swiped it up from where it was resting next to me on the bed.
It was Darren.
“You sound like crap,” he told me. I didn’t bother pointing out that I probably looked and felt even worse than I sounded. “I guess that means you still haven’t heard from him.”
“No. I’m really worried,” I said. “Do you think maybe he’s with Tori?” I couldn’t think of anyone else in town that he knew. Maybe they were just…hanging out.
“Nah, she’s gone already. Her classes start a week earlier than ours. She headed out the other day.” He hesitated then tacked on, “Do you want me to come over?”
“You don’t need to do that,” I said. I didn’t really see the point of it.
“I know. But I thought maybe I could pick you up and we could drive around or something. I didn’t see him last night but it was dark. A car like his, it stands out. Maybe if I drive and you keep an eye out…?”
It wasn’t a terrible idea. I didn’t know what to think. Maybe he was somewhere in town and we’d spot his car. I was becoming more convinced by the minute that something had happened to him. Maybe he’d been in an accident and his car had gone off the road somewhere. Where would we even begin to look?
I was still tossing Darren’s idea around when my phone alerted me to an incoming call. I pulled it away from my ear to look at it. It was a number from back home. One I didn’t recognize.
“Darren, I’ll call you right back.”