Chapter Twenty-Eight
Once Sam was in bed, and Neri was finishing up her homework, I got ready for work. The earlier conversation with Devon played over and over in my mind.
The FBI.
That was big. Somehow, it made things seem more serious. I laughed. My mother had been missing for two weeks, and only now it was serious to me?
Until now, I’d thought they’d find mom, holed up in some shack with some guy. Until now, I’d hated her even more for abandoning Neri and Sam, the same way she’d abandoned me.
But now, I felt sad. Sad that Neri and Sam may never see their mom again, sad that any chance of reconciling with mom might have been taken from me.
Did I want to reconcile with her?
It wasn’t even a question of whether or not I forgave her, it was whether she still blamed me for putting John in prison.
And Devon. I shook my head at the thought of him, I was so pissed off that I’d let him into my life. No matter how much I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t. The thought of never seeing him again ripped my heart out. Even though things were messy recently, I was still guaranteed being able to see him once or twice a week, about mom. Not anymore though, and the thought of that affected me much more than I wanted to admit.
The only good thing right now was I had raised enough money for Neri’s camp. Once that was paid, I could go back to being a normal girl with a normal job.
One who was not sleeping with her professor.
My phone buzzed. I shuffled through my bag, determined to catch it before it stopped ringing. Just as I put my fingertips on it, the ringing stopped.
“Shit!” I pulled it out to see who it was. Devon. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. Ara strained to see what had caused my face to drop.
“Ignore him.” Ara ordered, waving her hand.
“That’s just it.” I said through gritted teeth, “I can’t.”
“Oh. Your mom. Right. I guess that does make it hard. Why don’t you go to the police station and request a change in detective?” I shot her a look. Was she serious? Apparently so.
“I couldn’t do that to him, Ara. I know how much his career means to him.” Ara threw her hands up in frustration. If I wasn’t so frustrated myself, I’d have laughed. Finally, she was getting it. I couldn’t avoid him, or ignore him, yet I couldn’t have him either. I was already calling him before she could answer.
“Kait. Hi.”
“Hi. You called.”
“Yes I did.” I closed my eyes and tried not to think of the wonderfully sexy mouth his words were coming out of. Or the way his eyes would be staring right into mine if we were face to face. Or the way-Jesus Kaitlin, get a grip! “I wanted to see how Sam was doing.”
“He is okay.” I said, relieved. He was just calling to check on my brother. That was such a sweet, thoughtful thing to do. “Thanks for calling.” I added, hoping he took the hint that I wanted the conversation to end here.
“I need to see you.” Oh god. I willed myself to say no.
Just say it, Kaitlin. Two letters. NO
“Why?” I almost whispered. Why couldn’t I say no?
“Because I can’t not see you.” I knew I was falling. Ara stood in front of me practically whacking me with a pillow, her arms furiously flailing around. I braced myself for the barrage of hits.
“Okay. Come over.”
“Seriously, Kait? Really? You’re going to do this again?” I’d never seen Ara look so angry. What was her problem, anyway? What did my love life, or lack thereof, have to do with her?
“Looks like it, doesn’t it?” I retorted, “I know, I know, but it’s not that easy, Ara.” Her face softened. She looked like she wanted to say more, but instead, she just took my hand and squeezed it.
“Just don’t let him hurt you.”
“I won’t.” I replied, wishing I felt as confident as I sounded.
Ara had disappeared by the time Devon arrived. I had changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt. Actually I’d changed into close to fifteen shirts, the winner finally being an emerald green wraparound shirt that flattened my waist and showed a nice amount of cleavage.
I ran to the door when I heard him pull up outside. The last thing I wanted was Neri or Sam wandering around.
“Hey.” Devon leaned on the door frame, looking way, way too sexy for my liking. If he was planning on looking this good, anything could happen. As he walked past me I caught a whiff of his aftershave. I wanted to bury my face in his chest. I giggled to myself as I imagined his reaction to that.
“What’s so funny?” Devon cocked his head, amused by my outburst. I blushed, making him smile even wider. Great, now he probably thought I was thinking something dirty.
“Nothing to do with you.” Good god, Kaitlin, just stop. I couldn’t make it any more obvious it was about him if I tried. “Just go in.” I said, pointing to the lounge room.
“So…” He stood in the middle of the lounge, his eyebrows raised. I sat down, hoping he’d do the same. He did.
“So what? You wanted to come here.” I pulled my legs up under me, and sat my hands in my lap.
“I did.” He leaned forward in his seat so that he was almost touching me. Having him this close to me wasn’t making it easy for me to be strong, “I wanted to see you.”
“Okay, well you’ve seen me.”
“I haven’t seen enough of you.” I blushed, thinking back to the last few times we’d been together. What more could he possibly see of me. “You dirty girl, I didn’t mean like that.” The red in my cheeks extended up to my forehead.
“I wasn’t thinking anything dirty.” I protested, trying to defend myself. He smiled at me knowingly.
“Sure. I believe you.” The smirk on his face said otherwise.
“Okay, so you want to see me, so see me.” I spread my arms, gesturing to myself, “I can’t do this, Devon. If you don’t want all of me, then you don’t get any of me.”
“You think I don’t want all of you?” He laughed, incredulous, “Hell, Kait, I’d love nothing more than to have all of you. All I’m asking is for you to wait.” I breathed in sharply. He wanted me to wait for him? How long? A month? A year?
“You’re asking me to wait for you?”
“I don’t know what I’m asking. All I know is that all I think about is you, and I am constantly making up reasons so I can see you.” I narrowed my eyes. I knew he was inventing reasons to see me. Nobody could be that thorough. “I’m sorry, Kaitlin. I go crazy thinking about you.” He spoke quietly. He stood up. I tried to read his expression.
Was it frustration I saw in his eyes? Sadness?
I pulled myself to my feet. I was so close to him, unbearably close. My mouth was only inches from his chin. I could feel his regrowth brush against my lip he was that close to me.
Closing my eyes, I breathed him in. The feelings I got from simply smelling this guy were crazy. I felt his arms curl around my back, his fingers tracing circles on my shirt.
“You drive me crazy. I can’t keep having you, and then not having you.” My voice was barely audible.
His hold on me tightened. His lips dipped down to meet mine. As much as I wanted to pull away, to break the hold he had on me, I couldn’t. I kissed him back, tasting him with my mouth, a sense of urgency in my movements. He responded quickly, his kisses leading a trail down my neck. With a flick of his hand, my top began to unravel.
“I like this top.” He muttered, that wonderfully sexy smile spreading across his lips. He reached behind me, unclasping my bra, removing both pieces of clothing without breaking our kiss. His hand made its way to my exposed breast.
“You’re so wonderful.” I sighed, once again, losing myself in the moment.
“You’re the wonderful one, Kait.” He mumbled, nibbling at my neck, “I had better go.” He kissed me on the forehead. As he moved away from me, I realized I didn’t want him to go. As much as I hated myself for it, I wanted him now, even if it was only for tonight.
“Don’t go.”
He brushed my hair from the path of my eyes, and pulled me into another soul collapsing kiss, “I don’t want you to wind up hating me. I think I should go.” This time, I nodded numbly.
There was a good chance if he stayed, by morning I’d be cursing his name. “I will see what I can work out, Kait.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I nodded anyway. I walked him to the door, still standing there, door wide open as he drove away.
I trudged off to my room, passing Ara’s slightly open door on the way.
“He didn’t stay?” She raised her eyebrows, surprised. I shook my head, and told her what had happened. “Probably a good thing, Kaitlin. At least until he works out what he wants.” I nodded, and managed a small smile.
“Night Ara.”
“Night.”