Desire (Desire, Book 1)

Chapter Twenty-Six





Devon kneeled down next to Sam’s bed, “Hi Sam. Remember me?” Sam nodded, rolling his eyes.

“You’re always here.” I let out a laugh as Devon actually blushed.

I’d called him the moment I’d realized Sam knew this Michael guy, and he’d come right over.

Devon handed the picture to Sam, ignoring my obvious amusement, “You recognize this man, Sam?” he asked, pointing to the picture. Sam nodded again, his green eyes wide.

“He came over sometimes when Neri and I were sleeping. One time I got up to get a drink and I heard him and Mommy. Mommy kept calling him Michael.” Devon glanced at me. I shrugged. This was all news to me.

“Hey Sam, when did you last see Michael?” I asked. Sam looked at me, his face grew creased as he concentrated, as if trying to remember.

“The night before mommy left.” Sam said slowly, “Neri wasn’t there. She was at her friend’s. Sometimes I’d wake up scared, and couldn’t go back to sleep. I heard mommy arguing with him. She took me to kinder the next morning.”

“Sam, this is really, really important. Did you see Michael leave during the night?” Devon’s voice was full of urgency. Sam shook his head.

“I fell back asleep though. I don’t know. I don’t go in mommy’s room. I-I get in trouble.” His bottom lip quivered as another wave of tears threatened to pour out.

“It’s okay, Sam. You’re a good boy. So brave.” I reached down and hugged him, giving Devon a look over his shoulder that made it clear question time was over. I nudged my head toward the door. He nodded.

“I’ll wait in the kitchen.” He whispered.

I stayed with Sam until he finally fell back asleep. Backing out of the room, I switched off the light and closed the door.

“Poor kid.” Devon commented as I walked into the kitchen, “Is he okay?”

I nodded, filling the coffee jug, “He’s asleep. What does all this mean?” Devon shrugged. I slammed two cups down on the counter, frustrated he didn’t have the answers.

“Hey.” Devon moved around the counter until he was standing right behind me, “It will be okay. We will find this guy, and if he has any connection with your mother, we will find that too.” I turned around, and leaned against the sink, letting his hands grasp my waist.

“I just feel so sad for the kids, Devon. I hate they are going through this.” I raised my head, my eyes level with his own.

God, his eyes were so deep, so full of emotion. It pained him to look at me, I could see that. He wanted to kiss me, the way his lips twitched when he looked at mine told me that. I pushed myself off the sink, bringing my body flush against his. I could feel him harden at my touch.

He raised his eyebrow ever so slightly, a look of need flashing in his eyes. I jumped, as he moved his arm behind my waist and pushed himself against me. I quickly realized he was hard.

“See what you do to me, Kait?” He mumbled in my ear.

He kissed my neck, my cheek, and finally my lips. My hand ran over the back of his neck as I kissed him back with just as much force, just as much need.

“God Kait, you drive me mental. I can’t think around you.” He breathed.

“Then don’t think.” I kissed him again, this time running my palm over his hardness. He gasped, his expression pained. I molded my lips over his before he could tell me no. As I felt his defenses float away, I finally pulled back.

“Don’t think, Devon. If you want me as much as you say you do, then prove it.”

He shook his head, letting out a bitter laugh. He grabbed his keys and turned to face me.

“I do want you. I think I’ve made that blatantly obvious. I’m not going to stay here and f*ck you six ways to Sunday – though god knows I want to – and have you hate me for not being able to give you more.”

I stood in the kitchen, shocked by his outburst. Where the hell had that come from?

I clasped my hands behind my head as I paced the small space in the kitchen. Why did everything have to be such a mess? Why couldn’t one aspect of my life be okay? I slammed my hands down on the counter, before going back in to check on Sam.



I peeked through the small gap in the door and saw him curled up under the covers, snoring softly. I slowly eased the door shut. Ara looked up as I walked into the living room.

“How is he?” she asked sympathetically. I shrugged.

“He’s asleep. I guess I should tell Neri.” I played with my watch, “I think I’ll call in sick tonight.” Ara nodded. “I don’t think I could handle…Charlie.” I finished.

“It might take your mind off things with your mom, and Devon.” Ara shrugged.

Maybe she was right.

“I’ll talk to Neri.” This was one conversation I wasn’t looking forward to.



Neri lay over her bed, her schoolbooks spread out around her. She looked up when I knocked.

“Hey.” Her face brightened when she saw it was me.

“Homework?” I asked, looking at the books. Advanced human anatomy. She nodded.

“It’s a requirement for the camp. It’s interesting though.” I stifled a laugh. Only Neri would find extra homework interesting. I sat down on the floor, next to the bed, my back resting uncomfortably against the chest of drawers. “So what’s up?”

“Devon had some news on your mom today.” Neri put down her book, and sat up, facing me.

“Yeah?” She tried to keep her voice even, but I think she knew from my expression, it wasn’t good.

“They found a little bit of blood in a hotel room. Your mom’s blood.”

“So what does that mean?” Tears welled in her eyes. She bit her bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from quivering, “Is she dead?”

“She’s not dead. At least they don’t think she is. It’s been transferred to the homicide division though.” Neri began to sob.

“Hey.” I got to my feet and hugged her, “Shh. It will be okay Neri. She might still be fine.”

“Does Sam know?” She asked. I shook my head. He wouldn’t know what it means, and I didn’t want him worrying any more than he already was.

“That’s probably for the best.” She agreed, wiping away her tears with the back of her sleeve.

“If she doesn’t come back…what will happen to Sam and me?” My eyes widened in surprise that she even needed to ask that. Did she seriously think I would kick them out?

“Neri. You and Sam are welcome here with me for as long as you need to be.” I hugged her tightly, “I wouldn’t abandon you guys.”

In the back of my mind, I thought ‘again’.



After everything, I decided Ara was right. Going to work probably would take my mind off things. What happened with Devon earlier was still running through my mind like a bad song. I was relieved when I saw I had no bookings. As much as I did need the money, my feelings toward Charlie were just about as messed up as my feelings for Devon. Charlie intimidated me. I felt young and inexperienced around him. There was something about him that I couldn’t put my finger on, which made it near impossible to put into words. Being with him aroused feelings I never knew I had. Good feelings. Dirty feelings. But on some level he scared me. I could never read what was in his eyes. Having no idea what someone was thinking made them unpredictable, and I didn’t like unpredictable.

Halfway through my shift, the door opened. I looked up. Charlie. My breath caught in my throat.

“Hi.” I said, pushing aside my anxieties, and forcing a smile onto my face, “I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”

“I wasn’t expecting to be here.” His dark eyes looked over me, “My evening surprisingly freed up.” He added, handing me his credit card, “I assume you’re available.” My skin pricked at his tone. Did he think I was always available for him? I was tempted to say no. Sorry, I’m not available.

“I am available.” I smiled, swallowing the lump I my throat. I buzzed Emily to cover me.