DECKER
I had been watching her sleep for two and a half hours now. I wasn’t sure how she would react when she woke to find me here, but I couldn’t stay away. When I had returned to my apartment, I had called Bradley. Andi’s manic reaction to seeing her father’s books on the shelf seemed a little more than just simple grief. I had confessed to Bradley that Andi and I were somewhat involved. He had shouted at me, called me some impressive names that I didn’t know he was capable of saying, and then he had settled down and explained that tomorrow was the one year anniversary of her father’s death. I offered to pay for Bradley to come to New York and kick my own na?ve ass. He promptly promised me if I hurt her he would take me up on that offer, but he would also dismember a fairly integral part of my anatomy. I told him I’d rip it off myself before hurting Andi, and he, surprisingly, seemed to believe me. Before the usual consumption of guilt over the upcoming film I was scheduled to star in could consume me, I made a decision. I was quitting porn. I was done, retired, and heading back to college to finish my degree in architecture. Andi meant more to me than any career, money, or prestige could ever buy. I would have emailed my agent right then and there if I wasn’t in such a hurry to get back to Andi. Although my career was as good as done, tomorrow I would make it official by withdrawing from The Bishop’s film and having Michael take me off his books.
After returning to The Book Shelter, Casey had confessed in a whispered conversation that he had spiked Andi’s coffee with a mild sedative, to which I was outraged, but also grateful. She had been so upset, I wouldn’t have even thought about calming her in such away. I sat on the end of the couch, my elbows on my knees, my eyes glued to her peacefully sleeping form. It was almost two in the morning and the apartment was in darkness. Light from the street out front spilled through the windows, casting long shadows across the floor and walls. I barely noticed Andi’s eyes flicker open, but knowing she was suddenly awake had my breath catch in my throat. I was silently praying, hoping she didn’t start yelling at me again and send me packing. I didn’t think I could bring myself to leave her again. She lay perfectly still and quiet for a long time before slowly pushing herself to a sitting position.
“I’ll leave if you want me to, but I really don’t want to. I’m sorry. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have touched that box without checking with you first.” I got it out quickly, before she had a chance to interrupt. Andi took a long breath in and then out before she spoke.
“You must think I’m plumb crazy.”
I smiled. “Well, you do listen to country music.”
Her smile was slight as she glanced around the darkened room, looking a little confused and foggy.
“Wow, I was out for a long time, it feels late.”
“Casey drugged you.” Her gaze snapped back to mine.
“Say again.”
“He put a mild sedative in your coffee.”
Andi huffed indignantly. “That damn queen is going down.” There was no malice or anger in her voice, just affection, even though she was cussing him.
“I spoke to Bradley.” Andi didn’t respond, she simply watched me from the shadows. “I told him about us.” A surprised ‘oh’ came from her. “He threatened to cut my dick off, which I found mildly disturbing. Isn’t that usually a female’s go-to crime against asshole men? He also told me what tomorrow is for you.” I glanced at the clock. “Well, today.”
Andi nodded, her head turning away from me as she glanced out the large front bay windows. I could see her eyes shining with sorrow again.
“I miss him,” she confessed quietly. “He was so distant, so wrapped up in his writing and books that it felt as if he was hardly ever with me, but physically, he was there. I could hug him if I needed to, I could take care of him, I could reach out to him. He was family. He was all I had.” The tears came more freely now and I felt the usual pang of panic as I watched her crumble. I wasn’t real good with tears. When she had broken down the afternoon before, I had panicked and raced next door for Casey and Lionel, knowing they would be able to fix this in a heartbeat.