Cowboy Take Me Away

Chapter 10


For several seconds Shannon held her breath, feeling as if the world had suddenly jolted to a halt. Luke looked good. No, not good. Great. When she’d seen him that afternoon, he’d been dirt and sweat from head to toe. But now…

He wore a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and even at this distance, she had no difficulty admiring the way that shirt stretched across his broad, muscled chest. His straw hat dipped low over his forehead, and his hands were wrapped around a beer. A second later, he tipped that bottle up to take a sip, highlighting those tanned, muscled forearms. Just watching him made her mouth go dry as dust, and she could have cheerfully sat right there and stared at him for the rest of the evening. Hell, the rest of her life. She fought the feeling, but she was one margarita down already, making resistance impossible.

But what kept her from enjoying the view were the two young, attractive women who sat at his table, one on either side of him. Luke seemed to be listening to them as if they were actually saying something interesting, which Shannon doubted. After all, they weren’t exactly dressed to impress him with their intellect, which meant he was probably more fascinated by what was below their necks than what was above them.

Then he turned around and looked directly at Shannon.

She swallowed hard, wishing she’d turned away before he looked at her. Now she felt compelled to play the game—who was going to blink first? The music pounded inside her head, mingling with her friends’ mindless chatter, but she kept her attention on Luke. She put the straw to her lips and sipped her margarita, the icy liquid doing nothing to counteract his hot gaze. But she didn’t care if a meteor hit, she wasn’t blinking. Then one of the women tapped Luke on the arm, and he automatically turned to look at her.

There. She’d won!

But then the woman was running her fingertip up and down Luke’s forearm, sitting so close to him their thighs were almost touching. Shannon frowned. If she’d won, why did she feel like such a loser?

“Has he been there the whole time we’ve been here?” Eve asked.

“He showed up about ten minutes before you guys did,” Terri said. “Do you know him?”

“Oh, yeah,” Eve said. “That’s Luke Dawson.”

“Oh, my God,” Tasha said, her big eyes even wider than usual. “I see why you’re stressing. He’s way hotter than he was in high school, and that’s saying a lot.”

“I didn’t think you liked cowboys.”

“I don’t.”

Then came another surprise. Luke rose from his chair, took one of the women by the hand, and led her to the dance floor. Moments later they were two-stepping to the music.

Shannon watched with astonishment. Even favoring his knee, he danced with the kind of grace a man his size should never have had, looking far more at ease in front of a crowd than she could ever have imagined. The Luke she’d known would have hung back in the shadows, his hat brim shading his eyes and emphasizing his brooding expression. Yet here he was dancing like a man who’d spent hours in honky tonks from coast to coast, picking up women and twirling them around dance floors.

“I don’t believe it,” she said. “He’s dancing.”

“I know,” Tasha said.

“Why is that weird?” Terri asked.

“You didn’t know him before,” Tasha said, looking confused. “He wouldn’t have…it just wasn’t like him to…” Finally she just shook her head. “Luke Dawson dancing is just wrong.”

Shannon agreed wholeheartedly. And yet there he was doing it.

The song ended. Luke escorted his partner back to their table, and when the band started the next song, he danced with the other woman he’d been sitting with. Shannon just sat there, stunned. And when song number three came, he headed to the dance floor with yet another woman.

“He sure likes to have a good time, doesn’t he?” Eve said.

“Yeah, he’s really energizing the place,” Terri said. “Maybe I can pay him to show up every night just to keep things hopping.”

“You could have a Ladies’ Night,” Eve said. “Promise them Luke will be here to dance with every woman in the place.”

Not every woman, Shannon thought.

Not that she cared one way or the other. She took a hefty sip of margarita number two, telling herself to ignore him, but when he danced with another woman, it started to feel as if he was deliberately ignoring her. He probably knew her better than anybody else here, yet he hadn’t even spoken to her?

As the latest song wound down, Luke returned his partner to her table. Then he turned around, looking at Shannon so intently she felt as if her panties were melting.

Then he started toward her.

“Oh, God,” Tasha said. “Here he comes.”

Shannon held her breath, suddenly feeling hot all over. She didn’t want to talk to him. Not here. This was a social occasion, and she wanted to keep their relationship strictly business. So if he thought he was going to sit down and chat, or buy her a drink, of course the answer would be no. And dancing—that was out of the question.

As he drew closer, she tightened her resolve. Stick to your guns. Turn him away. Don’t even think about—

“Hey, Eve!” Luke said. “Wanna dance?”

“Dance? Hell, yes.”

She jumped off her barstool. Luke took her by the hand and led her to the dance floor. And Shannon sat there watching, totally dumbfounded. Eve was being Eve, dancing and smiling and laughing, and Luke actually looked as if he was having a good time, too. A few minutes later when he returned her to her barstool, Shannon thought, Okay, now he’ll at least say hello.

Instead, he grabbed Tasha, who gave him a look of sheer panic. But he just led her to the dance floor, and soon she was dancing in spite of herself.

“Whew!” Eve said, sitting down and reaching for her drink. “Cowboys really aren’t my type, but for that man, I might make an exception.”

A minute later, Luke swapped Tasha for Cynthia and headed to the dance floor. It was official. He was definitely ignoring her.

“Any reason he’s not asking you to dance?” Eve said.

“I don’t like to dance.”

“Does he know you don’t like to dance?”

Shannon didn’t know. Could that be it? He knew she didn’t like to dance, so he didn’t bother asking her?

She frowned. No. Of course not. He couldn’t know. When had she ever been around Luke when there had been a band and a dance floor nearby?

A few minutes later, the band took a break. Luke went to the jukebox. The women were chatting away, a conversation Shannon was barely following. Luke was clearly mocking her. That was the only explanation. He was deliberately making her look like a wallflower by asking every other woman in the place to dance except her.

Enough of this. If he wouldn’t talk to her, she’d go talk to him.

As she slid off her barstool, a little voice inside her head told her it was probably a bad idea, but after a couple of margaritas, she told the little voice to shut up. She strode up beside the jukebox, where Luke stood flipping through the songs.

“Hey, Shannon,” he said, sounding annoyingly cheerful. “Didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”

“I didn’t know you were going to be here, either,” she said, trying to sound as disinterested as she could. But when he was paying attention to every woman there except her and then staring at her to flaunt that fact, disinterest was the last thing she felt.

“What song do you think I should play?” he asked. “How about ‘Should Have Been a Cowboy’?”

“You already are a cowboy.”

“Didn’t say it was autobiographical.”

“You worked all day. Isn’t your knee about to give out?”

“Ah. You’re worried about me again.”

“Once again, you’re useless to me if you can’t walk.”

“I’m ahead of schedule on my rehab. The physical therapist said the more I use it, the better it’ll get. So I thought I’d hop over here tonight and use it.” He flipped to another page of songs. “Ah. How about this one? ‘Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys’? A good song and a great lesson all rolled up in one.”

“You’ve sure been doing a lot of dancing tonight.”

“That’s right.”

“With every woman in the place.”

“Now, that’s not entirely accurate,” Luke said, still flipping through the songs. “I haven’t danced with you.”

“Hmm. That’s right. You haven’t, have you?”

“Did you want me to?”

“No. I don’t dance.”

“Don’t dance, or can’t dance?”

“It’s not exactly a talent of mine.”

“So if I’d asked you to, you’d have said no?”

“That’s right.”

“So why are you mad at me for not asking you to?”

“Mad? I’m not mad.”

“But you are wondering why.”

Shannon opened her mouth to speak, then realized how dumb it was for her even to be standing there having that conversation.

“Maybe it’s because you have a boyfriend,” Luke said.

Shannon froze, relief washing over her. Of course! That was it. How could she not have realized that? She and Russell weren’t seeing each other exclusively, but Luke didn’t know that. Suddenly she felt better. Not that she really cared one way or the other if he asked her to dance, but—

“Now wait a minute,” Luke said, suddenly looking confused. “Maybe that’s not it at all.”

Shannon frowned. “It’s not?”

“Let’s see…maybe it’s because you’re my boss. If we danced together, it would be inappropriate.”

“Since when do you care about what’s proper?”

“I don’t. But you do. I’m just looking out for you.”

“So you’re not asking me to dance because I’m your boss?”

“I said maybe it’s because you’re my boss.”

Shannon frowned. Well, thanks a lot for putting my mind at ease.

Luke continued to page through the songs. Slowly. Thoughtfully. She wanted to shout, Will you pick one, already?

“I was surprised to see you dancing,” she said. “You weren’t exactly the outgoing type when we were in high school.”

“True. But you know what I found out?”

“What?”

“Women like to dance. If I wanted to meet women, I had to learn how. So I did.”

“It still surprises me.”

“People grow up. I’ve changed, and so have you.” Luke turned to look directly at her, the cadence of his voice slowing, its tone deepening. “You’re even more beautiful now than you were back then.”

His effortless downshift from teasing to sexy caught her off guard. She felt a hot blush rise on her cheeks, which aggravated her to no end.

“Well, there’s one way you haven’t changed,” she said. “You’re still looking for ways to get under my skin.”

“I thought by now you would have learned how to take a compliment.”

“I thought by now you would have learned not to use flattery to get what you want.”

“So you think I want something?” he said, his eyes slowly sweeping down her face to her neck to her breasts, where they lingered a second or two, before coming up to meet her eyes again.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Do you?”

He rested his elbow on the jukebox, leaning so close she could feel the warmth of his body mingling with hers.

“Oh, yeah,” he said.

Shannon felt a million nerve endings come to life, making her hyperaware of every breath he took. No matter how methodical and driven she’d discovered he’d become, those few steamy words told her he hadn’t lost all of the wild unpredictability he’d been so full of as a teenager. But she didn’t move away. That would signal retreat, and where Luke was concerned, she knew she’d better not give an inch.

He put coins into the jukebox and pushed a couple of buttons.

“Enjoy the song,” he said.

With that he tipped his hat down and walked toward the door.

Wait a minute. He was leaving?

He threw a couple of bills down on the bar and nodded to Terri. No, no, no! Tell me what you want! But as he left the building and she heard the song he’d chosen to play, she realized that was exactly what he’d done.

“Let Me Touch You for a While.”

The music washed over her, making her whole body feel hot and weak. Luke wasn’t even in the building, yet he was making her so hot she was on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

With the song still playing, she went to the bar. Grabbed her purse.

“Where are you going?” Eve said.

“Home.”

Eve started to say something else, but the last thing Shannon wanted to hear was her sister’s take on the situation. She shoved open the door and hurried into the parking lot, thankful when the door closed behind her, muffling the song and its lyrics. She took a deep breath of the humid night air, then headed across the gravel parking lot to her truck. But as she drew closer, she realized Luke hadn’t left after all. He stood by her truck, his arms crossed, leaning against the driver’s door. Even at this distance, she could feel his gaze flooding over her like a hot caress.

She shoved her purse strap more firmly onto her shoulder, stood tall, and told herself to walk a nice, straight line to her truck. But as she approached the driver’s side, she could tell he had no intention of moving. All she wanted to do was go home, but how was she supposed to do that with a big, stubborn cowboy in her way?

She cursed the fact that she’d had to park in almost the last row, where the neon lights were dim and the night was so quiet she was sure he could hear her heart beating. She stopped in front of him. “I thought you were leaving.”

“Changed my mind.”

“Well, I’m going home.”

She reached into her purse and fumbled around. Wallet, lipstick, tissues, sunglasses…where the hell were her keys?

There.

Just as she snagged them and pulled them out, Luke grabbed the strap of her purse and pulled her right up next to him. He’d taken a wider stance, and her hips brushed his inner thighs. Still grasping her purse strap, he slid his other hand along her upper arm from her elbow to her shoulder and back down again, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

“You’re drunk,” she said.

“Two beers? Not hardly. How about you?”

“Of course not.”

“You sure were putting away the margaritas.”

“I only had two,” Shannon said, her breath coming faster. “And how would you know, anyway? You weren’t paying any attention to me.”

“Not paying attention to you?” He chuckled. “Sweetheart, I could be standing at the pearly gates and I’d still be staring down at you.”

He slipped his arm around her waist. Pulled her toward him. He moved so slowly she could have objected, but so enticingly she didn’t want to. She drank in the feel of his hands on her, one curled around the back of her neck, one sliding around her to rest against the small of her back.

And then he kissed her.

Her keys slipped from her hand and hit the ground, clinking against the gravel. She knew she should walk away, but she couldn’t. Didn’t want to. Damned margaritas. That was what she was blaming this on, even though they hadn’t been all that strong. She knew tomorrow would come and she’d regret this. But tonight…

She wanted him. She always had. She’d wanted him back when he was a wild, exciting boy with dark, magnetic eyes and a thousand secrets. She wanted him now, when he was a smooth, intense, sexy man with the kind of confidence only eleven more years of lovemaking could bring. The feeling was the same both times, that crazy, overwhelming, gotta-have-it-now sensation that filled her head to toe.

She stood firmly between his thighs now, pressed up against him in the most intimate way possible while they still had clothes on. She straightened her arm and her purse fell to the gravel parking lot with a soft crunch. She slid her hand to his chest, then along the rigid outline of his shoulder, before closing her fingers around his collar and pulling him closer still. She imagined dragging him straight back to her apartment, barely getting through the front door before their clothes were coming off, then falling into bed, and then…

She heard voices. Soft, drunken laughter. Footsteps across gravel. She pulled away from Luke, spinning around to look. “Somebody’s coming.”

He pulled her back around. “Don’t care,” he said, and closed his mouth over hers again, kissing her deeply, his mouth engulfing hers, making her think of more than kissing. The temptation of it was so great that she almost didn’t care, either.

Almost.

“No,” she said finally, ripping her mouth away from his. “I can’t do this.”

Luke exhaled with frustration. “Oh, you can. You just don’t think you should.”

“I need to go.”

She grabbed her keys and purse from the ground and clicked open the door of her truck. Luke stepped aside and she got in. She tried to shut the door, but he caught it before she could. He put his forearm against the roof of her truck and leaned in.

“Instead of making a big deal out of this,” he said, “we could keep things real casual, and everything would work out just fine.”

“It’s not appropriate.”

“Because of Russell?”

“No. We’ve never agreed not to date other people.”

“Then tell me why it’s not appropriate.”

Because if somebody sees me kissing you in this parking lot, the grapevine in this town will be dragging the ground with gossip.

“I’m your boss,” she said. “Remember?”

He gave her a knowing smile. “Surely you’re not that naïve, are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Sweetheart, you may be the boss from nine to five, but the rest of the time that position is up for grabs.”

He stared at her a moment longer to make his point, then leaned away and pushed her door shut. He stepped back, folded his arms, and watched as she started her truck and backed out of the parking space. As she turned onto Highway 28, she looked in her rearview mirror, and he was still watching.

All the way home, she played those kisses over and over in her mind, wishing she could put them out of her mind. By the time she’d tucked herself into bed, she’d almost succeeded. Then her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID.

Eve.

Deal with her now, or deal with her later.

Shannon answered her phone. “It’s late, Eve. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“No way. I want to know now. Why’d you leave so quickly tonight after talking to Luke?”

Shannon turned over in bed, groaning at Eve’s question, feeling a little loopy. Two margaritas were one thing, but it was the one hot cowboy who had done a real number on her.

“He left, and then you left…” There was a long pause, and then Eve’s exclamation. “Oh, my God. Is he there right now?”

“Knock it off, Eve,” Shannon muttered. “He’s not here. Nothing happened.” Not much, anyway.

“Oh, come on, Shannon! It was no coincidence that you left so close together.”

Shannon put her hand to her throbbing forehead. “I’m going to sleep now.”

“No. Don’t you dare cut me off. I want the whole story.”

“I told you the whole story. Good night.”

Over Eve’s protests, Shannon punched the End Call button and turned out the light. She lay in the dark, but every time she closed her eyes to sleep, she saw Luke in her mind. Heard him. Felt him. After a while the images were so vivid she swore she could reach out and touch him.

But it was nothing but lust, and lust led nowhere. And she’d do well to remember that.



The minute Luke got back to the shelter and pulled through the gate, he found himself looking down at the barn. The last thing he needed to do was go down there after dark. He knew he would feel a surreal kind of déjà vu that would make him remember that night, but when he left the City Limits with the taste of Shannon still on his lips, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. It had been a long time since he’d kissed her like that.

Such a long time.

He walked down the path, the humid evening air wrapping itself around him like a shroud. When he reached the barn, he flipped on the hayloft light and looked up. His heart thumped hard at the sight, making him feel as if he’d traveled back in time to live that night all over again.

He remembered finding Shannon’s necklace on the ground by the stock tank and the excitement he felt at the prospect of bringing it back to her. He heard her in the hayloft and climbed the ladder to see her still looking for it. When he held it up and she acted so relieved, he felt like a hero.

They sat up there for a long time, talking about nothing in particular, just as they’d done so many times before. Most of the time around there he had the feeling people were watching them. But that night in the loft after everybody else had gone home, it felt as if they were the only two people on earth.

Then he said something about his father. She looped her arm through his and lay her head on his shoulder. Even though she didn’t know any of the details, it was as if she really did understand how he felt. He could have stayed in that loft forever, feeling warmth flowing from her body to his, wiping out, bit by bit, the coldness he often felt inside.

But then it got late. She had to go. It was like this every night. If she didn’t come home before dark, there was hell to pay with her mother.

She asked him to put the necklace back on her. She turned her back to him and swept the loose hairs off her neck with one hand, holding the necklace up with the other. He remembered starting to take the necklace from her, only to look down at the smooth, creamy skin at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, that beautiful, tempting hollow that seemed to call out to him. In that moment, every desire-filled thought he’d ever had about her seemed to coalesce into a single force that drove him to ignore the necklace. Instead, he dropped his lips against that spot in a gentle kiss.

Shannon froze, her hand closing tightly around the necklace. He slid his hand around her waist and pulled her gently back against him. He heard her deep intake of breath, then her gentle exhalation. Slowly she turned to face him. The heat in the loft had flushed her cheeks bright pink, and her blue eyes shimmered. Her hand opened, and the necklace clinked to the floor. Then she slid her arms around his neck, and he leaned in and kissed her.

It was as if the world had tilted on its axis and time had slowed to a crawl, as if the laws of physics no longer applied to their tiny corner of the world. After a moment, Shannon trailed her hand from his shoulder to the top button of his shirt. He looked down, watching as she flicked it open. Then she did the same to the remaining buttons. Finally she pushed his shirt aside and ran her hands along his chest. Luke had never felt anything like it in his life. Her hands were so soft, so warm, so devoid of anything harsh or dirty or angry, and he wanted to sit there and let her touch him forever.

Then she reached for his belt.

He grabbed her hands and held them, taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart. “No,” he whispered. “You don’t really want to do this.”

“Please, Luke. Don’t tell me what I want. People have been telling me what I want since I was five years old.”

“I don’t have anything with me,” he said, breathing hard. “No condom—”

“Don’t worry,” she whispered. “I’m on the pill.”

She slid her hands around his neck and pulled him down to her again, and he melted into her kiss.

She wants you she wants you she wants you…

The words kept tumbling over each other in his mind, but he could scarcely believe them. Even when they were kissing and touching and their clothes were coming off, it felt like a dream to Luke, one where things happened in slow motion, allowing him to savor every moment. Before he knew it, she was lying back and pulling him on top of her. The instant he slid inside her, stars exploded behind his eyes. With a strangled groan, he moved harder, faster, knowing he should go slow for her, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He’d lost all sense of time and place, knowing only that it was Shannon he was with, Shannon who was creating all these incredible feelings. Every second delivered more ecstasy than the last, shoving him right to the brink.

Then all at once her muscles tightened around him. She gasped, her fingers digging into his shoulders. In that instant, a wild shudder of pleasure tore through him, eclipsing anything he’d ever felt before. He’d known little else but pain and heartbreak in his life, but this…this…

Ah, God…he couldn’t think. All he could do was feel. As the hard, pulsing sensations faded away, they were replaced by something he’d never expected to experience in this lifetime—the warm glow of complete serenity. Total happiness. This is it, he thought. This is what it’s supposed to feel like. And it’s all because of her.

He fell to one side, propped on his elbow, and stared down at her. If he lived to be a thousand years old, he’d never forget the way he felt at that moment, as if God had blessed him, as if he was finally being compensated for all the hell he’d suffered in his life. He wanted to say something, but his throat felt clogged, his voice useless. He touched her face, and when a tiny smile came to her lips and she covered his hand with hers, he was sure something wondrous was happening.

Love. He’d never felt it before, but after what they’d done, after what he’d felt, after seeing her beautiful blue eyes looking up at him, he was sure that was what it was.

Then all at once, he saw a faint flash of light through the window. Shannon jerked her head around. “Somebody just drove up.” She rose and looked out the window. “Oh, my God. It’s my mother!”

From one moment to the next, it was as if Luke had woken up from a beautiful dream to stark reality. Loucinda North. The very idea that she was outside this barn made Luke’s heart race with apprehension.

But he didn’t care. He refused to be afraid of her. If Loucinda found out what they’d done, he would never leave Shannon to bear the brunt of it by herself.

“Just don’t say anything,” he whispered. “She’ll go away.”

“No! She won’t go away! I’m late getting home, and she’s looking for me. My car’s here. I have to go out there!”

“No problem. I’ll go with you.”

Shannon whipped around. “You can’t do that! Then she’ll know!”

“We’re eighteen years old. It’s none of her damned business.”

“My mother makes everything her business.”

She grabbed for her jeans and dragged them on. He did the same, then watched as she fumbled with her shirt buttons. He wanted to hold her. To let her know he’d go to war with anyone on this earth who tried to come between them. But she was so frantic he didn’t know what to say. How to calm her. How to make her understand that her mother showing up meant nothing as long as they loved each other.

She reached for her boots. “I have to go. Now.”

“No. You don’t have to do anything.”

“Luke, please! If my mother finds out about this, she’ll kill me!”

“I won’t let her.”

“Do you think she’s going to listen to you?”

“I’ll make her listen.”

“No!” she whispered wildly. “Don’t you get it? You can’t tell anyone about this! Nobody!”

Luke stared at her blankly for a moment as her words sank in. After this, he thought…he thought this meant something. But it didn’t. Shannon wasn’t only horrified at the thought of her mother knowing. She was horrified at the thought of anyone knowing.

As the truth came to him, slowly, painfully, he sank to a bale of hay, his knees suddenly too weak to hold him up. This had meant everything to him. Everything. But to her?

Nothing. Less than nothing.

But he’d seen something more in her eyes. He knew he had.

He thought he had.

Oh, God. Maybe he hadn’t seen anything at all. Maybe all this really had meant nothing.

You’re a goddamned fool! She doesn’t love you! She probably doesn’t even like you!

Now he knew. All Shannon wanted tonight was to feel as if she was being bad for once in her life. And who better to do that with than a guy like him? But now, when it came to admitting what she’d done, she was horrified. And the fact that he’d been too damned naïve to understand that right off the bat made him feel as if he was the dumbest person alive.

“I can’t tell anybody?” he said, giving her a sarcastic smile, even as his heart was breaking. “Are you sure?”

“That’s not funny.”

“But this is just too good,” he said, pulling out a cigarette. “Surely I could let a word or two slip here or there, couldn’t I?” He lit the cigarette and took a drag, hoping his hands weren’t shaking.

A look of desperation flooded her face. “No! You can’t do that to me!”

Luke felt a stab of anguish. As if the world knowing he loved her would hurt her?

“I don’t know what you’re worried about,” he said, a mocking tone inching into his voice. “Nobody would ever believe a girl like you gave it up for anyone, much less the likes of me.”

“Don’t say that!”

“This isn’t about the sex, is it? It’s about who the sex was with. If you’d done it with some rich boy, your mother would probably throw a party.”

“That has nothing to do with it.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

She pulled her boots on, then stood up. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”

“Sure, Shannon,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “No problem. Meet me back up here tomorrow night and we’ll ‘talk.’”

“Luke, please! You know what my mother is like. Can you at least try to understand?”

He took another drag on his cigarette in the most disinterested way he could. “Go home, Shannon. Mommy’s waiting for you.”

“But—”

“Oh, for God’s sake!” he muttered. “Will you just get the hell out of here?”

Shannon paused a moment more, looking at him plaintively. He thought for a moment she was going to come rushing back to him, telling him she didn’t give a damn who knew they’d been together. That she cared about him. Loved him, even. Instead, she turned and rushed down the ladder, and he was drenched in misery all over again.

He dropped his head to his hands, every word she’d spoken filling him with the kind of humiliation that made him want to crawl into a hole and die. A minute later, he could just make out Shannon’s voice outside the barn telling her mother she’d stayed late to take care of an injured horse. When her mother asked why Luke’s car was there, Shannon told her it wouldn’t start, so he’d walked home hours ago.

Lies, all lies, to cover up the fact that she’d been with him. The overwhelming pleasure he’d felt only minutes before had become incapacitating pain, the pain of knowing what she really thought of him. She said they’d talk tomorrow. Why? So she could tell him if he happened to pass her on the street, he’d better act as if they didn’t know each other? In that moment, he locked down his heart with yet one more layer of steel around it, so tightly nobody could ever get inside again.

Then, as he started to leave the hayloft, he looked down to see something glinting in the dim light. Leaning over, he picked up the diamond necklace he’d found for her, the one she’d dropped the moment he kissed her. He wondered why the sparkle of the diamond wavered as if he’d dipped it in water, only to realize he was looking at it through his own tears.

He left the necklace in the office where Shannon would find it. Then he packed up everything he owned in the world and blew out of town. The only person he told was Rita. She’d tried to stop him, but he was beyond listening. He had nowhere to go, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t care if he had to sleep in the street, as long as that street wasn’t in Rainbow Valley.

Now, eleven years later, Luke stood in the barn and looked up at that hayloft, feeling the pain of that night all over again. Back then he swore she would never know what had been going through his mind that night. How weak and pitiful he’d felt in the face of her rejection. How dumb he’d been to think it had meant something more to her.

Nothing had changed in that regard. No matter what happened between him and Shannon in the coming weeks, he’d make sure she never knew any of that. He’d spent his entire adult life getting past those kinds of feelings, the ones that told him he was just a few notches below the rest of the human race, and he’d be damned if he was going to stir them up all over again.