Chapter 14
My stomach rolled with a little bit of excitement as Zoey, Callie and I all get ready for the party at Drew’s frat house that we had all planned to go to together. Parties had always been my kind of scene, but since moving here to go to school, I hadn’t been to a single one. I had been doing so well with keeping myself busy, that I hadn’t been trying to fill that empty void that had seemed to be hanging around in my chest for awhile.
“So, is lover boy coming tonight?” Zoey asked, plopping down on the floor next to me where I was running a flat iron through my hair.
“Lover boy, really Zoey?” Callie chimed in. “Justin is far from being a lover boy, more like a bad boy to have fun with. Right, Della?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders and pulled out my makeup bag. “Lately things have been a little different between the two of us. He hasn’t been joking around as much, I don’t think he would ever really be able to stop, but we’ve been having actual conversations. Things are different.”
“Different in a good way or what? Because I know Nash is single and hot on your ass right now. Are you stringing two boys along Miss Della?”
I rolled my eyes at Callie and swiped lip-gloss across my lips, puckering them in the mirror before responding. “Different in a good way. And I’m not stringing them along. At least I don’t think I am.” After Nash had left the other night, he ended up calling me, and we made plans for the next day. It felt like more of a date this time around, than just a friend’s hang out.
Strangely, Nick and Steve had been absent from the house when I showed up, and it had actually been clean. Nash fixed me dinner and we even sat at their dining room table, aka a card table with a table cloth covering it. It had been decked out in votive candles and a vase of roses that he had given me at the end of the night.
He was trying, I would give him that, but I was confused on where my relationship with Justin really stood. I felt guilty for being with Nash like that, even though I hadn’t considered it as a date. I knew I had feelings for the both of them, but they were jumbled up in my head right now and I wasn’t sure what I felt for whom.
“Well, my vote is for Nash. I know we’re still young and all, but Nash is a way better choice. You don’t have to worry about him with other girls-” Zoey jabbed Callie sharply in the side to cut her off and I looked between the two of them, both looking extremely guilty.
“Ok, what are you two not telling me?” I crossed my arms, giving them both that look. You know the one where your best friends are supposed to tell you everything, no matter what. It was some sort of code or something.
“It’s not that big of a deal, really,” Zoey said with a loud sigh. “The gossip queen over here heard someone in one of her classes bragging about how they hooked up with Justin. So of course she had to stick her nose into the conversation.”
“Please, I wasn’t sticking my nose in anything. I was looking out for our girl.” I gave Callie a small smile, even though I just wanted to smack her upside the head because she hadn’t told me sooner. Sure, rumors were rumors, but sometimes there was some truth to them.
“She said that she and Justin hooked up about a week ago,” she finished quietly. “I argued that Justin was dating you, and why exactly would he need to turn to someone as skanky looking as her. I think she got a little offended, but still stuck to her story. Apparently, it was on one of his nights off from the restaurant and she met up with him at some bar.”
“Well, that’s…interesting.” What else was I supposed to say? Justin and I had never really said that we were officially a couple, but I thought we had an understanding that we weren’t seeing other people.
Honestly, I felt a little hurt. No, I wasn’t being honest with myself at all. I felt all kinds of hurt, but I put on my brave face and pushed it out of my head, something I had learned to do over the years and was an expert at.
“That’s all you have to say? Really?” Zoey smashed her lips into a straight line, narrowing her eyes at me. “Because the Della I know is one tough bitch and wouldn’t put up with that kind of shit. You need to confront him or just drop him. He obviously doesn’t deserve you if it’s true. You know I’m not a fan of Nash, but maybe you should give him a chance.”
“I’ll talk to him about it, trust me.” I stood up and headed towards my closet, mainly to hide the hurt look on my face. I had texted Justin to see if he was coming tonight but the only answer I got back was a vague “maybe” which was a little strange coming from him. I was all ready so used to his sexting that I sort of expected it every time. “But now, it’s time for us to have fun, so let’s get our asses moving.”
We walked up the wooden steps of the house that Drew lived in. There were people everywhere, from the wide front lawn to the balconies that jutted out from several of the upstairs windows. The music could be heard from outside and probably at least a mile away.
‘Scream and Shout’, blasted my ears as the door swung open, and I followed Callie in who knew her way around. Let it all out was all I really wanted to do right now, although I really wasn’t planning on doing that Britney Spears style. So when Callie handed Zoey and I a shot of something, I took it immediately, throwing my head back and letting the burning liquid wash down my throat. I instantly felt a bit of calmness rush through me, so I quickly took another.
When I opened my eyes, Zoey and Callie were staring at me with a look of disbelief. “What? Aren’t we here to get a little cray cray?” They both slowly nodded their heads at me before I led the way back out of the kitchen and onto the makeshift dance floor which appeared to be the once living room.
Callie found Drew in the crowd, so she quickly darted off, leaving Zoey and I to dance by ourselves. Whatever.
Zoey looked like she was loosening up a little bit, so I grabbed onto her hand, throwing my free one into the air as I moved my hips to the music. Those two shots had quickly gone to my head, and I was feeling good. I noticed a guy come up behind Zoey, quietly asking her to dance, and she gave me a look with her eyes. I nodded, giving her a smile as I stayed surrounded in the sea of people that all seemed to be moving in a frenzied rhythm.
I felt a pair of hands land on my hips, secretly I was wishing it was Justin, but when I spun around to see Nash standing there, those soft brown eyes staring back at me with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, I tried not to look disappointed.
“Hey,” I shouted into his ear, and he wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me closer. “Dance with me? Please?” He asked in that gravelly voice of his. I nodded in response, and we danced wrapped closely, and at a slow pace, for what felt like a lifetime. Being wrapped in his arms was comforting, but it wasn’t really what I needed right now.
“I need another drink, I’ll meet up with you in a bit.” He reluctantly let go of me, dropping his hands to the side, and motioned towards an empty couch as I headed back towards the kitchen. I smiled at Zoey who was now with another guy and looked to be having fun, not ready to leave anytime soon. Which was a good thing because neither was I.
I grabbed two shots from a flirty looking guy, downing them and handing him back the empty glasses back with a smile, before I turned back and joined Nash on the couch. Before I could sit down he grabbed my hand. “Let’s take this somewhere a little quieter. I can’t even hear myself think out here.” I rolled my eyes as he led me down a hallway and pushed open a door, checking to see if it was empty first before pulling me in and locking the door behind us.
“Did you drag me in here to have your way with me?” I managed to slur out before plopping down on the unmade bed that was covered in clothes. Most of the time, I would be totally against something like that, but right then, I didn’t care.
“Exactly how much have you had to drink?” Nash asked, crouching down in front of me with a smirk.
“Who knows?” I murmured before running my fingers up his arm, touching the tattoo on his forearm. “What does this mean exactly?” I leaned forward to trace the black ink and I could hear his breath hitch at our close proximity. “Nothing lame I hope, I don’t think Chinese symbols are the in thing anymore.”
He snorted, pointing to his forearm. “Well, I did get it a few years ago. Sorry if I’m not up to date with the trends and all that shit. And I’m not sure if you’re really ready to hear what it means.”
I stared at the tribal looking sun etched into his forearm, the Chinese symbols in the center, hoping they would form some kind of conclusion in my head. But that was not going to happen. It was actually spinning a little right now.
“I think I can handle it.”
He sighed loudly and moved my finger with his hand. “All right, well this is obviously a sun. And these right here,” my finger traced the symbols lightly, “translate over to Adelaide.”
“Seriously?” I whispered as I stared at my finger, his touch on mine so delicate as he explained something that obviously had a lot meaning to him. Most tattoos did. They were permanent after all.
“Seriously,” he replied, his crooked smile in place as he laced our fingers together. “I got it as soon as I turned eighteen. I told you that you were like my sun when you came to visit during the summer. Every minute with you was an escape from my dad, so I think you deserved some recognition. I thought this was the best way.”
Wow, I couldn’t believe someone had a tattoo of my name on their arm. Even if that someone was Nash. “You really give me too much credit,” I said, hiccupping as I sank down to the floor with him. “I’m really not that great of a person. If you really knew who I was, you would probably be getting that removed right now.”
“Della.” His hand grasped my chin, forcing me to look him straight in the eyes, “People make mistakes sometimes, no one’s perfect. But to me you are. No matter what.”
I groaned and buried my head in my hands. “Why does everything have to be so serious with you, Nash?”
“What? Like that boyfriend of yours or whatever the hell he is?” He snapped out, standing up abruptly. “Sorry that I have some sort of feelings Della. Would you rather me be an ass all the time? He doesn’t deserve you.”
“And you do?” I snapped back. “Just because you broke up with your girlfriend, doesn’t instantly give you the rights to me, like I’m a piece of property that you can just snatch up. I know we’ve been friends for awhile, Nash, but maybe we’re better off just being that. Friends.” I stood up too quickly, the alcohol rushing towards my head. Sure I didn’t know where my relationship even stood with Justin. Maybe I just needed to stop dating all together so I wasn’t so confused all the time.
“Maybe we just aren’t meant to be right now,” I said a little more calmly as I gripped the handle that was holding me upright. I hated to see that hurt look on his face, but I just couldn’t deal with him right now.
“You’re right, Della. I think we both have some growing up to do before that happens,” he answered back quietly. “I promise, I’ll keep things strictly as friends from now on.” I rolled my eyes, not believing him for a second, but I guess I could give him a chance.
We walked back out to the party, and I instantly spotted Justin on the edge of the crowd. His eyes landed on me, and he gave me a tight smile, but it quickly disappeared when he saw Nash behind me. “I’ll catch up with you later,” I yelled to Nash as he took off in the opposite direction, but not before giving me a scowl. Just friends, yeah right Nash. I don’t think that existed in your book, with me at least.
Justin pulled me into his arms, kissing my forehead, as he wrapped me up tightly and gently rocked me back and forth to the music. His body felt oddly stiff against mine, and I looked up at him, his gray eyes staring down at me with a look I just couldn’t read.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I took a step back.
He pinched his lips together, and I could see his jaw tic as he stared back at me before he finally answered. “Nothing. You wanna get out of here?”
“Um, sure,” I replied, surprised that he didn’t want to stay. Parties were normally his thing, and while I hadn’t been to one with him yet, I had kind of been looking forward to tonight if he had decided to show up. “Let me just find Callie and Zoey, I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”
“I’ll meet you outside.”
I found Callie who looked like she had even more than me to drink so far, she was a serious lightweight, and Drew was basically holding her up. I told him to pass along the message that I was leaving since she probably wouldn’t remember. Zoey was still dancing away, with a different guy again. “Hey, do you mind if I leave? Justin showed up, and I was going to take off with him.”
“Sure,” she panted out, her eyes glittering with an excitement that was normally absent. “I’ll catch a ride home with someone.”
“Awesome, text me if you need me.”
I found Justin outside, one leg propped up against the house, his head tilted towards the dark sky as he puffed away on a cigarette. I wrinkled my nose at the smell, but grabbed onto his hand. “I’m ready to go whenever you are.”
“Yeah, sure,” he replied absentmindedly, staring at the dark sky for a second longer before he walked quickly towards the road where his car was parked.
“Are we going back to your place?” I asked after getting into the car. The silence was uncomfortable as I tried to figure out what was going on with this strange mood he was in.
“Um…” he chewed on his lip as he pulled the car out onto the road. “Let’s head somewhere for coffee. You look like you could use it.” He looked at me sideways, giving me a slight smirk as he turned out onto the main road.
My head was starting to clear, and I didn’t feel as wobbly, but coffee sounded good so I didn’t question it. I had only been to Justin’s a few times. He lived by himself about fifteen minutes away from campus in a tiny house.
“So what’s going on?” I asked after the waitress had brought over two cups of coffee and a piece of pie for me.
He shrugged his shoulders at me, staring out the large front window of the diner he had chosen that was pretty much deserted.
“All right,” I replied, gnawing at my bottom lip when Callie and Zoey’s words from earlier had popped into my head. We didn’t have a title, but I sure as hell wanted to know if he had been with another girl when I thought we had clearly talked about not seeing other people.
“Well if you aren’t going to talk, I guess I will. I heard from a few people that you hooked up with some girl pretty recently. Is that true?” There I said it. I watched his face to see his reaction, and he finally turned to look at me, a scowl in place directed at me.
“And you believed that shit? No, I wasn’t with anyone last week. Haven’t you learned by now that girls like to run their f*cking mouths?”
My head jerked back at his tone, and I saw his eyes soften slightly. “I’m sorry, Della,” he huffed out. “I just wanted to come out and have a fun night with you. But then I get there, looking for you, and you’re nowhere to be found. Then I see you coming out of a room with that douche bag.”
My mouth formed into an O as I guessed at what his conclusion had been. So he was jealous? I didn’t think I would ever see this day from Justin Parker. I really thought he had too big of an ego to ever be jealous.
“Nothing happened between us, I swear. Although I have no clue exactly what we’re doing here, I wouldn’t do that to you.” Something unreadable flashed through his eyes, and he rubbed at the scruff on his chin. “Nash agreed to being just friends again tonight. I know he’s said that before, but I think this time I believed him. I’d like to figure out what’s going on between us first,” I picked up his hand, swirling my finger around his wrist. “Because I really do like what we have going here, and I’d like to see where it’s going to go. Are we on the same page?”
He blew out a breath, a relieved look on his face as he squeezed my hand back. “I’m sorry for being such an a*shole, Della. I just saw you with that guy and figured something had happened. I don’t know why, you’ve never given me any reason not to trust you.”
He slid next to me in the booth, tipping my chin up so our faces were just inches apart. “I know I’m never serious about things, but I’d like to be that way with you Della. Are you ready to stop all this teasing bullshit we have going on and really be with me? Because I want to be with you and only you.” He brushed my hair back, that I’m sure was a frizzy mess from all of my dancing. I couldn’t help but smile at his sweet words. They were so rare.
“And I want to only be with you.”
“Good, I think we can make this work then,” he said, giving me one of his wide smiles for the first time all night. “I’m glad we have that all cleared up.” I felt his hand underneath the table, creep under my dress and trace the outline of my underwear. “This is mine now.”
“Oh, really? Your one of those guys, huh?” I moved my hand to the front of his jeans and squeezed. “Then this is mine.” He raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything, just grabbed his wallet out, throwing more than enough money on the table for the bill and grabbed onto my hand. “Glad that’s all cleared up. Let’s go and introduce ourselves properly then.”