Chaotic (Imperfect Perfection)

Chapter 11

“Della, baby, wake up. Wake up.” I startled awake when I felt someone shaking me, a scream caught in my throat as I scrubbed at my eyes and saw Grams staring back at me through the darkness in my room with a worried expression crinkling her face. It took me a minute to realize where I was, and I reminded myself that I had come over to spend Saturday night before church on Sunday.

“Are you okay, baby?” She reached out to smooth away the matted down hair on my forehead and I flinched at her touch. “I’m fine, Grams. I must have had a bad dream. I don’t even remember what it was about,” I lied.

“Well, you sure did give me a fright, I heard you screaming like a banshee from down the hall. You’re sure you are all right?”

“Yes Grams, thanks for checking on me though. I’m going to try to go back to sleep for a bit.” I rolled over onto my back when she quietly shut the door behind her and stared up at the stark white ceiling. I knew sleep would never come back to me tonight.

I hadn’t had a nightmare in awhile; at least one that had woke me up. When I was living with my mom, I got them often, but not once did she ever come in to check on me, and I knew she most likely heard me.

They were always the same. Chris and I were there, alone, and everything came back in flashes. I knew it was that night. That night that changed my whole life.

It had started out at a party that we had gone to together, and we had both been pretty wasted. Afterwards, we somehow made it back to his parent’s house that were out of town for the night. I remember his hands running up and down my sides, and my dress somehow finding its way onto the floor. I was coherent enough to know that I wasn’t ready yet, but that didn’t stop him. They always ended in that sterile white room if I didn’t wake up before then and that was the part I hated most.

A light tapping on my window startled me after laying there wide awake for at least an hour. I pulled the covers up to my chin, feeling like I was five years old again. Okay, Della, the boogey man doesn’t exist. What in the hell are you freaking out about?

The tapping continued, getting more frantic, so I pushed back the covers and crept towards the window. I crossed my fingers hoping it was a stupid branch or something, and whipped back the frilly pink curtains.

A scream escaped my lips and I quickly covered my mouth, hoping I hadn’t woken my grandparents back up. I pushed the window up and stuck my head out. “What in the hell are you doing on my roof in the middle of the night?” I hissed at Nash, who was biting on his bottom lip, probably trying to hold back his laughter at my reaction.

“I’m here to take you on an adventure. You remember those, right?”

“Oh, really?” I rolled my eyes and tightly crossed my arms over my chest, I’m sure the thin material of my cami was not providing much protection, and I was not about to give Nash Griffin a show.

“Yes, now come on.” He yanked on my arm with enough force to pull me through the window, and I followed along so I wouldn’t fall off the damn roof. He walked carefully onto a thick tree branch and held out a hand to help me. I have no clue why I willingly went with him. Now was my chance to go back inside and lock the window behind me, but instead, I followed his every move until our feet hit the grass beneath the tree.

I kept following him until he stopped abruptly, and I realized we were right at the edge of the lake that our houses were situated around.

“Um, what exactly are we doing here?” I wrapped my arms around my shoulders that had broken out in small goose bumps with the brisk air.

“We’re going for a swim.” He grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head in one tug. You know that one tug thing that some guys just perfect so easily they could probably do it in their sleep? Yeah, that one.

And Nash, well, I could look at him all day without his shirt on. He wasn’t buff like some weightlifter, but he was lean and tight in all of the right places. He tugged on the gray pajama pants he was wearing, to reveal a pair of black boxer briefs and rocked back on his feet when he saw me staring.

“C’mon, you’re turn to put on a show.” He twirled a finger at me and I shook my head sharply. “No way, I’m not getting in there. It’s starting to get cool and that water is probably freezing.” I rubbed my arms again to emphasize my point and he took a step closer until he was just an inch from my face. “Where did my adventurous Della go? The old Della would be all for this. In fact, it would probably be her idea.”

“Well, the old Della obviously didn’t know what hypothermia was,” I deadpanned. I turned to leave, but was quickly twirled around, so I was face to face with Nash, his hands resting at the waistband of my yoga pants.

“You either take these off now or I’ll do it for you.” I knew he wasn’t joking, he would, and he snapped the stretchy material to prove his point.

“Fine,” I huffed out. “But you need to turn around or get in the water or something.” I pushed him closer to the edge of the water and tugged on my pants. Thank god I didn’t have a thong on, but instead a pair of lacy boy shirts, at least they pretty much covered up more than a bikini. There was no way in hell I would be taking off my top, even though once it got wet I knew it would end up sticking to me like a second skin.

I heard a loud laugh as I hit the water but it was soon drowned out as I went under. The chill of the water shocked my body, and I quickly swam to the top, gasping when my head broke through the surface.

I pried my eyes open, wiping away the cold moisture that was blurring my vision and turned around in a complete circle, looking for Nash. He wasn’t anywhere in site, and I groaned out loud. Did I just run in here like a complete idiot, practically naked, and he took off? My question was answered quickly when I felt a tug on my ankle from underneath the water, and I smiled right before I was pulled back under the water.

“You’re seriously crazy,” I stated as we both broke the surface again, my teeth chattering as I spoke every syllable. “So is this adventurous enough for you?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” he responded, gliding through the water until he stopped right in front of me. We could both just barely touch the muddy bottom where we were, and I felt his hand land on my bare thigh and the other wrap around my waist to pull me closer. “I think you need some warming up.”

“Nash,” I breathed out, trying to ease some of the sexual tension between the two of us. “What are you doing? I thought we talked about this. How did you even know I was here anyway?”

“I saw your Grandpa bring you home earlier while I was helping my mom out in the garden.”

“Ok-ay,” I dragged out. “Thanks for skipping the most important part of my question there. What about-”

And before I could even bring up his girlfriend that he was clearly forgetting about, his lips were on mine. My body was too stunned to react at first, so I held still while his lips mashed against mine and then he roughly probed my mouth open with his tongue.

It was then that I joined in, our tongues mingling together and making my body instantly warm in the chilly water. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tugging him towards me to bring him closer and wrapping my legs around his waist. His body felt like it fit with mine perfectly. He pulled back slightly and dipped his head down to lick and nip at my neck, so I threw my head back to give him better access.

The feelings that were running through me were something that I had never felt before with any guy, including Chris. They were almost animalistic, and I seriously wanted this to go farther. Right now. His hand landing on my right breast, squeezing gently, was what broke through the fog that was clouding my head.

“Nash, please stop,” I managed to pant out. I let my legs drop, realizing how little material there was between our two bodies. “You have a girlfriend and I’m really not looking to come in the middle of that.”

He gave me a disappointed look and moved an inch closer. “Della,” he panted out, lightly stroking my cheek but I quickly pulled away. I was only so strong and if I let him keep doing that, I would soon forget about Mariah and anything else. “I’m sorry I let things get so carried away. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior from now on. Promise. But I am thinking about breaking up with Mariah, I just thought you should know.” He held his hands up and backed away, watching as my feet found the shore.

I looked away not wanting to give him any kind of hope. If he was going to break up Mariah, he needed to do it for his own reason and not because of me. I was more worried about me. I was on the path to becoming a real adult like my mother and everyone else expected, and I needed to stay on that path. I knew if I let Nash Griffin in at all, he wouldn’t just be another meaningless hook up like in the past. Nash was the kind of guy you fell for and fell hard. But Mariah would also be added into that mix. And I did not need that kind of mess.

***********

“Della, make sure you set an extra place for lunch, honey pie.” I looked up at Grams questioningly but she just gave me a bright smile and turned back to the stovetop where she was checking her roast.

Church had been worse than usual this morning since I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. The nightmare combined with Nash’s visit had earned me maybe a total of two hours of sleep, and it was definitely showing. I was able to cover up the bags with makeup this morning, but that didn’t help me to keep my eyes open during church. I had gotten a few nudges from Grams though that helped me along.

“So, Della, how has school been going? I’m assuming you’ve been keeping up on your grades?” Grandpa set the newspaper down that his nose had been buried in since we got home.

“Good, I think I’ve really got the hang of it. I’ve been keeping up on my studying along with getting all my papers in on time. The professors there are really helpful. I’ve even joined a few study groups.” I couldn’t believe it myself really. Della McGregor was not a scholar. I had skimmed by in schoo at MCCC. I was actually pretty proud of myself.

“Well, that’s great to hear then,” he replied, giving me a slight smile which was the most I had received from him since being back. “And your job?”

A knock at the door saved me from answering that question. I had informed Grams the minute I got a job, but I wasn’t sure if they would really approve of the uniform I wore while doing it. I guess in a way you could basically compare it to Hooters and Grandpa tended to be a little old fashioned about things.

“C’mon in, it’s so good to see you, son.” I heard Grams say from the entryway. I turned quickly when I heard the word son and dropped everything I was doing when I saw my dad walk into the dining room.

“Dad!” I launched myself at him, his strong arms easily catching me and twirling me around in a circle.

“Della, baby. It’s so good to finally see you.” He finally sat my feet back down on the ground, looking at me with a wide smile before patting me on the head. “I would have been back sooner for a visit, but I just couldn’t get away. You’re looking well. These two have been keeping you in line,” he teased, while patting Grandpa on the back.

“For the most part,” I shrugged with a smile.

We all sat down and caught up with dad over the giant lunch Grams had prepared. She always fixed big meals, but now I understood why this one was completely over the top. It was good to see my dad, it had been a long time, and while we kept up occasionally with phone calls and emails, it was never the same.

“So, Della, Grandpa was telling me you got yourself a job. That’s great to hear sweetie. Tell us about it.” I squirmed in my seat as dad beamed at me from across the table. I could tell he was proud of the progress I had made since moving here. I guess I really shouldn’t let it bother me though, I was a grown adult now, and while everyone thought they needed to keep an eye on me at all times, it really was time for me to be able to take control of my own life.

“I got a job waitressing at a sports bar near campus. I’ve worked a few days on my own now, and the tips are really good. I’ve actually been able to start saving some money up.” There, my answer was vague enough. It’s not like I needed to describe the work uniform for them.

“That’s great sweetie. And I hear that you got two pretty great roommates. Have you met many other people on campus?”

“She’s actually reconnected with Nash since moving back,” Grams chimed in with a mischievous smile on her face. It made me wonder how much ‘reconnecting’ Grams actually knew about.

“Yeah, just as friends though, he has a girlfriend, and I’m really not looking to get involved with anyone right now.” We all knew what happened the last time I had been in a serious relationship.

“Hmm…well that’s nice,” Dad replied. “You know, Della, you’ve grown up a lot since dating Chris. I don’t think it would hurt to get back out there in the dating world. No one expects you to live like a nun for the rest of your life.”

Judging by Grandpas scowl directed at my dad, I think he was expecting just that, and I had to bite back a laugh at his expression. It was true though; I would grow up and possibly have a family some day. “I know Dad. Actually, I have a date later tonight after I head back to campus.”

“Oh, really?” Grams asked in surprise. “Tell us about him. Was it someone you met on campus?”

“Maybe we should meet him before that happens,” Grandpa interrupted sternly.

“Absolutely not,” Dad piped in and I gave him a thankful look. If he hadn’t been there, I probably would have give in to Grandpas strict rules and introduced them to Justin.

I don’t think that one would have gone over very well. I had a feeling a tattooed, pierced, cigarette smoking guy would be someone Grandpa would ban me from dating, no matter how old I was. I had defied my mom plenty, but I wasn’t prepared to do that with my grandparents.

“I think Della has learned her lesson over the years and can make her own choices. I would like to spend some together while I’m back though, Della. Maybe we could meet up to go fishing one day this week if you don’t have any early morning classes.”

“That would be great.” Fishing had always been our thing. We would wake up early to take Grandpa’s fishing boat out and talk for hours. My mother thought it was the most disgusting thing and demanded I immediately bathe whenever we came back from one of our trips.

We finished up our lunch and dad and I did the dishes while catching up with each other. It was great to have him around again. We had always had a special bond that I think my mother was jealous of. It had fizzled a little over the years when I had moved away, but he always tried to come up with something special to make it up to me. Now that he was back, I could tell that he really was interested in getting to know me better and being the father that I needed.





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