Between Friends

Chapter 3

The airport couldn’t come soon enough. Jessica’s racecar driving is enough to make anyone fear for their life. She cranks up her music and transforms into turbo speed. She sings at the top of her lungs, flails her arms and dances while driving on the freeway. When she slams on the breaks for the hundredth time, she blames every other driver for an almost near collision. At one point, she even speeds up and gives one driver the finger as we pass by. I clench onto my seat the whole way there, remembering why I always volunteer to drive.

Once we safely arrive at the airport, I stumble out of Jessica’s brand new BMW and want to kiss the pavement. Before I can even wipe the sweat trickling from my brow, Michelle and Stephanie slide into the parking spot beside us. Stephanie rolls down her window and flicks her long auburn hair to the side, “Are you girls ready to par-tay?”

Jessica gives a cheer about finally getting hitched, and slams her car door shut. I am still hunched over trying to recover from motion sickness when the three of them link arms and walk towards the airport. I stop my wobbling legs and yank out not only mine, but Jessica’s luggage from her trunk. I shout out to Jessica and ask her to come back and help me, but she somehow doesn’t hear me. I grunt and flip my carryon onto a suitcase before I wheel everything inside the airport, all by myself. As the automated doors fly open, I see the girls chattering amongst themselves and already waiting in the check-in line. I let out an exasperated huff and continue to schlep our belongings, making a mental note I am the best-maid-of-honor a girl could ask for.

“Want some help?” I hear Ben’s voice come from behind me.

I whip around and almost drop everything. Ben is holding out two coffees looking squeaky clean and completely relaxed. When I don’t say anything, he hands me a coffee and asks if I still like it with one-milk and one-sugar. I nod and thank him, feeling my stomach tighten. He knows that’s exactly the way I take my coffee. It’s our everyday routine to grab one together in the morning as we head to the office. But somehow his asking so only magnifies that there was that easy breezy before we slept together part of our life, and the now awkward present of the aftermath.

We walk in a painful silence up to the line where Michael, Eric and Matthew have met up with the girls. From the corner of my eye, I see Jessica giving me an once-over as I push my hot coffee rigidly to my lips. While the group engages in some casual banter, I find myself glancing around the airport in an attempt to find anything to distract me from thinking about last night’s romp. Just standing beside Ben, and inhaling his natural scent is driving me crazy.

I have no idea what is going on with me. Why on earth am I acting like a love-struck teenager? This is Ben for heaven’s sake! My go-to-bud for a quick meal at the best food-truck when they roll into town, or the friend I go with to a Cubs game. My stomach flip-flops and I start to become consumed, noticing little things about him I never noticed before. Like how much his hands move when he talks (which could be blamed on his Italian heritage), or the way his sparkling white teeth shine when he smiles (which I know is from a home whitening kit, prescribed a year ago by his dentist), or the way he nervously scratches his chest when he makes quick one liner jokes (which he does a lot).

“How come you’ve got a strange glow to you this morning?” Eric asks, interrupting my thoughts and nudges me with his elbow.

I blankly stare at him and I stammer, “I- I -I do?”

For a moment I actually question if they all heard my insatiable thoughts about Ben. I blush and glance around my group of friends, feeling like a transparent mess. I purposely do not look at Ben, but from the corner of my eye I see a small grin form at the tip of his lips hidden by his cup of coffee. Before I can even defend myself against Eric’s accusations, Jessica chimes in a singsong voice, “I bet I know why.”

I nervously bite my nails and insist it’s because I had a really good sleep. But Jessica cuts me off, “I found Marco’s hat in her room this morning.”

I hear Ben choke on his coffee and let out a small chuckle.

Eric moans, “Not that douche bag.”

Michael quickly adds, “Really Megan? I don’t want to have to double date with Mr. Know-It-All ever again.”

In Marco’s defense, he was a PhD student with hopes of becoming a Professor. Around the time he ended things with me, he landed a contract lecturer job at the University of Chicago teaching Physics. He may have been a tad overwhelming and extremely outspoken when it came to his opinions and what he believed, but he was a decent guy with a big heart. I always suspected our eventual breakup just came down to the fact he didn’t find me intellectually compatible. Especially after I indicated my belief in psychics, which I know is ridiculous, but after watching TLC’s “Long Island Medium” series, I am truly a believer.

“You slept with Marco last night?” Ben innocently asks and tilts his head in my direction.

“No, I did not.” I say and unzip my sweater to stop puddles from forming under my armpits.

“Well, she did say they just talked.” Jessica says batting her eyes at me, “But I think Eric’s right. You do have a guilty glow.”

I roll my eyes and watch Jessica share a giggle with Stephanie and Michelle. I snap at them to mind their own business and push in front of my group of friends. I can feel Ben’s eyes follow me as I storm away, which only makes me extra uncomfortable. Thankfully, the lady at the counter finally calls us up to check-in for our flight.

Once I get to my seat, I pop a few gravel tablets for some much needed shut eye. Flying has always made me nervous. The main reason is because I can never seem to wrap my head around how something so incredibly large and heavy can literally float on air. It just seems physically impossible. More importantly, ever since 9/11, the fear of being trapped in a confined space millions of feet in the air with virtual strangers who could be potential terrorists makes me ill. I have shared these insane rationalizations with Ben on a few occasions and even more so over the past few weeks leading up to this trip. He laughs and tells me I am way too neurotic, which may be true, but at least I am prepared for the worst.

Michelle abruptly stops in the aisle, looks down at her ticket and moans. She grumbles something about being stuck beside Grandma Megan, just as I am pulling out my eye mask from my purse.

“Hey Megan, trade me spots.” Stephanie shouts at me from across the aisle.

“No thanks.” I decline when I notice Ben is sitting next to her. Had I slept alone last night, I would have gladly traded in a heartbeat. This time definitely not.

I snuggle up against the window of the plane, listening to Stephanie and Michelle start a gossip filled discussion over the latest JLO scandal splashed on the front cover of an In-Style magazine one of them purchased at the gift shop. I hear Stephanie’s chipper voice promptly order morning mimosas’ from the flight attendant, making me happy I am about to slip off into la-la land.

**

I abruptly wake up to a hand caressing my shoulder. When my eyes flutter open, I see Ben sitting beside me. I think I stop breathing as he says, “Michelle traded spots with me once you fell asleep. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No that’s fine.” I say. Even though it totally isn’t.

Ben smiles at me, and leans back in his seat, “I guess I’ll have to throw out that hat now.”

“What hat?” I ask, playing dumb.

“Oh, come on Megan.” Ben raises his voice, but then quickly brings it to a whispering tease, “Well, since everyone thinks it belongs to your ex-lover-boy Marco. I wouldn’t want to blow your cover.”

“Only Jessica saw it.” I snarl, but then add with humor, “But just to be safe, I am going to torch it once I get back home.”

Ben’s eyes soften and he runs his fingertip along my jawline, “Come on, it wasn’t that bad was it?”

I blush feeling a knotted mess form in my stomach. I am too scared to answer and even more scared of the mishmash of unidentified feelings milling around in my brain. One look at Ben and I know things have changed. He looks at me differently. There is a mist in his eyes and a shadow of uncertainty plastered on his face. Where has my best friend gone? I don’t know what to say, so I force my gaze out the window, to catch my first glimpse of the tropical paradise.

I am saved from any further discussion, when the impact of the wheels hits the landing strip. I nearly jump out of my skin from the jolt of friction, and see Ben catch me in clenched fists. He flashes me a coy grin and gently squeezes my hands for comfort. For a second, I want to squeeze his hand back and give him a kiss on the cheek, but the thought frightens me and I pull my hand away. Ben clenches his jaw, straightens up in his seat, and looks away. I am so confused. What is going on between us? I can barely handle being in his presence. I need to get off this plane.

When the plane comes to a complete stop, Jessica jumps up from her seat and shouts out to every passenger, “We’re getting married!”

Michael quickly yanks her down and scolds her for making a scene. Michelle and Stephanie give a few claps and cheers, while Eric and Matthew share a high five. Jessica pushes Michael away, “What is the big deal Michael? I am excited! Aren’t you?”

Michael proceeds to explain he is excited, but shouting out to the whole entire plane of people who don’t care is tacky. Unfortunately, because they are sitting directly behind me, I hear Jessica let out a groan and say in a high pitch whine, “Well maybe they do care.” Then she pauses and leans over my seat to involve me in their argument, “Right Megan?”

I hate when she involves me in their constant bickers, but I smile at Jessica and say, “Of course everyone cares.”

Jessica proudly grins and makes my words the final closure she needed to win the battle. When it is our turn to funnel off the plane, she tosses her large tote over her shoulder, flicks her long blonde hair in Michael’s face and leads the way off the plane to plant our feet on the luscious Costa Rican soil.

The heat makes my skin itch and the baking sun warms my brow. I love travelling anywhere tropical, mostly because of the intoxicating smell of coconut and ocean all mixed together. It just ignites something deep inside me. I have been looking forward to this vacation for a long time. But if I am ever going to survive this trip, I need to stay as far away from Ben as possible.