“Macal an, I, I love you.” It was as if those words lifted a ton of weight off my back.
“I love you, too. You’re my best friend.” She gave me a weak smile.
I didn’t think my love and her love were the same.
“No, Macal an.” I brushed her face lightly with my thumb. “That’s not what I mean.”
I pul ed her closer to me and leaned in. We were only inches
apart. My body tingled with the anticipation of another kiss. One that didn’t have to end so abruptly.
Macal an’s eyes widened when she realized what I was about to
do. She jumped to her feet. “I’m going to Ireland,” she blurted out, her voice was a lot louder and higher than normal.
“You’re what? When?”
“I’m going to Ireland to spend the summer with my mom’s family.
I’m leaving in a week.” She said it in such a dead tone, I almost didn’t believe her.
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“Macal an, please.” I had a feeling I was responsible for this last-minute escape route. “When did you decide this?”
“Just . . . recently.” She was a horrible liar. “You know they’ve asked me every summer.”
“So why now?”
“Why not?”
WHY NOT? WHY NOT? I wanted to scream. BECAUSE I JUST
CONFESSED MY LOVE TO YOU, THAT’S WHY NOT!
She took a step back. “Look, Levi, I know things have been . . .
different. And now you have your summer to hang out with your
friends and we can pick things up again when I get back.”
“Pick up what exactly?” I was testing her. Was she going to
acknowledge that I wasn’t tel ing her I loved her only as a friend?
She looked lost. “This! Our friendship.” That word stung. “Clearly we need some time away from each other. You need some time with
the guys, I need some time with my family. We need to figure out how to make this work. I don’t want to get in your way. So I’m giving you the freedom you so desperately want.”
“Macal an,” I pleaded. I went to grab her hand and she backed
farther away.
“It’ll be fine,” she tried to assure me. But I wasn’t sold. “I’ve been thinking it was time for me to visit. Real y, I’d been thinking about going this year for a while. You can ask Daniel e.”
Now I cursed myself for never answering my stupid phone.
Maybe one of those times she was going to ask my opinion. If only I had answered.
She tried to pretend everything was normal. “It’s not that big of a deal. We’ll email and chat while I’m gone, and if you’re lucky, I might bring you back a leprechaun.”
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I didn’t know if I should feel relieved that she was making a joke like normal, or if I should be devastated that she certainly wasn’t going to confess any un-friendlike feelings toward me.
We were at a standstil . I knew I had two options at that point. I could confess my love to her again and make her realize we could be more than friends. Or I could swal ow my pride and keep whatever was left of our friendship intact.
“A leprechaun, huh? I bet it would probably fit in the overhead
compartment.”
I hated myself for it, but I didn’t want to push her any further away.
Who knew how far she was wil ing to go to avoid me?
Ireland was far enough.
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Just so we’re remembering this correctly: When you kissed me, I went home and splashed cold water on my face. When I tried to kiss you, you ran away to Ireland for the summer.
Perhaps not the best timing on my part.
Understatement of the millennium.
C H A P T E R E L E V E N
I had a lot of time to think about what I was running away
from. I had the two-hour drive with Dad and Uncle Adam
to O’Hare Airport. I had the connection in Boston. I had the
long flight to Shannon Airport. And then the drive with Gran
and Gramps to Dingle.
At one point I stopped thinking about what time it was
back home. I only concentrated about what was waiting for
me in Ireland.
Which wasn’t much of anything.
I loved seeing my grandparents, but the town of Dingle
was tiny. I’d only visited my grandparents once, years ago.
Mom and I had visited two summers before. We went when they still lived and worked in Limerick. Then they decided to
retire and move to this quiet fishing village.
Gran got a part-time job at the tourist center while Gramps
worked on a book tracing the origins of famous Irish folk
songs. Gran said that was his typical Irish excuse to go to
pubs at night and listen to music. I always laughed when
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Gran made fun of Gramps’s Irish ways, because she sounded
more and more like an Irish-born person with each year.
One of my favorite things about my grandparents was
their story. They’d met their first week at college in Madison.
Gramps said he fell in love with her when he spotted her
across the quad during orientation. He was too shy to talk to
her that day. He beat himself up over it all weekend. Then he
walked into his first class the following Monday and saw her
sitting next to the only other empty seat in class. He went