Bare It All

chapter THREE

METHODICALLY, ALICE replaced each item in the drawer. She heard her own heartbeat, felt the rushing of her pulse, but outwardly, she showed nothing but calm resolve.

God, how good she’d gotten at that.

For the longest time, Reese said nothing. She wasn’t sure what to expect, how he’d react.

But when he did finally move, it was just to turn the bacon.

She closed the drawer, searching for something to say. “You seem competent in the kitchen.” He seemed competent at everything. “Would you like to do the eggs, too, or should I?”

“Why don’t you take a seat, and I’ll handle it.”

Ooookay. He sounded almost indifferent—not what she’d expected, especially from a detective. She pulled out a chair, and Cash came to lay by her feet.

“Do you have permits for the guns?”

That stalled her but only for a moment. Surely she did. “Yes.”

“That wasn’t a very confident reply.”

She repeated, more firmly, “Yes.”

“Hmm.”

“Stay, Cash. I’ll be right back.” She went into her office, checked that Reese hadn’t followed her and got out her special paperwork hidden within the register vent on the floor, held in place by heavy magnets. Inside, she found several permits. She located what she needed, put the rest back and returned to Reese. “Here you go.”

“If I check those, will they be legit?”

“I’m confident they will be.”

He shook his head at her. “The things you say and the way you say it—”

“Yes,” she amended. “They will be.” Not even for a second should she have doubted it. Everything she had, every resource, and yes, every weapon, would bear up under close scrutiny.

The bacon smelled delicious as Reese put it on a plate and got started on the eggs. “How many do you want?”

“One, please.” Watching him work, she appreciated the view: Reese shirtless, his shoulders flexing as he cracked eggs, his big bare feet planted apart on her linoleum floor. She could so easily get used to the sight of him in her kitchen. “Most women would want to cook for you.”

“Maybe.” He lifted his coffee cup for another drink, then glanced back at her. “I appreciate it that you aren’t being so clichéd.”

No, she couldn’t be. She was so unlike most women, any comparison would be hard to find.

He continued to watch her. “Does anyone else know about your cache of weapons?”

No one that he’d ever meet. She didn’t like lying to him, but really, she had no choice. “No.”

“You took far too long to answer.”

“I’m sorry.”

Reluctantly, he turned to flip the eggs. “So, why did you tell me?”

Alice shook her head. “I’ve been sitting here wondering the same thing myself. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t repeat it to anyone else.”

“Who would I tell?”

“Your friend Detective Riske. Or Lieutenant Peterson. I’d as soon not have to answer difficult questions.”

“All right.” He set the plates on the table. “Unless it becomes necessary to tell someone else, I’ll keep your secret.” The toast popped up. Reese put a pat of butter on each piece.

“It’s not a secret as much as it’s my private, personal business.”

He handed her a napkin, touched her cheek and took his seat.

Though he ate without pressuring her, Alice knew he still waited for an answer.

“It’s strange,” she said after a bite of bacon. “But I think I trust you.”

“That’s a start.”

“I’m a good judge of character,” she said with a shrug. “You’re trustworthy.”

“You think that because I’m a cop?”

She laughed, realized how awful that sounded and covered her mouth with a hand. “No.” She shook her head. “No, being in law enforcement has nothing to do with it.”

“Unfortunately, you’re right.” Without seeming indelicate, he ate so heartily that his food quickly disappeared.

His statement made her curious. “Why do you say that?”

“All that stuff that happened—the shooting in my apartment, I mean. There are a handful of cops on the force right now that aren’t honest, good cops. The lieutenant is doing her best to clear out the corruption, but it’s not easy. One bad cop is catastrophic. You get several working together, and the entire department is compromised.”

“Your friend Logan?”

“As trustworthy as they come.”

“I thought so.” Yesterday, while she’d fretted, waiting to see if Reese would be okay, Logan Riske had pulled up with his brother and Pepper Yates. Alice had studied him for a short time, long enough to recognize in him the same attitude that Reese had.

In a leap of faith, she’d explained to Detective Riske about the intruders with Reese in his apartment.

“More of your intuition, huh?” He drank half his orange juice. “I gotta say, Alice, I’d love to know how you do it. How do you sift the good from the bad with little more than a glance?”

It grew so quiet after that, they could hear Cash snoring under the table. Alice finished off a slice of bacon, wondered where to start and decided it didn’t really matter when it all ended the same way.

“I was taken.”

Everything about Reese sharpened; his attention, his posture. His warm concern. And something more, something like rage.

Because he’s a good man, as well as a good cop, and he cares about others.

He set aside his utensils. “You were kidnapped?”

Oh, God, she hated hearing it said aloud. “And held captive.”

“When?” He leaned toward her. “For how long?”

Unwilling—even unable—to elaborate, she shook her head. “The only important detail is that I got away. And now that I’m free, I don’t take chances. That’s all I can say.”

“I need more.”

“I’m sorry, no.”

Abruptly, he sat back. “Stop apologizing, damn it!”

She smiled at his show of temper. “Honestly, Reese, I didn’t expect to ever tell anyone any of it. I don’t like to think about it. I definitely don’t want to talk about it.” Mired in confusion and conflicts, she reached a hand down to Cash and put her fingers in his fur. Contact with the dog always brought her composure. And oddly enough, exposure to Reese brought her that and other elusive emotions. Ones she’d feared she’d never again feel. That had to mean something, but what? Finding the right words wasn’t easy. “The thing is, I like you, when for the longest time I didn’t like anyone or anything, not even myself.”

Reese held himself still and silent.

“I’d gotten used to feeling...” She didn’t want to sound dramatic, but only one word would do. “Ugly.” Inside and out.

With stark conviction, he stated, “You’re not.”

He was the type of nice guy that would do his best to reassure her, only she didn’t need that from him. “Then I decided I was just plain.”

Folding his brawny arms on the tabletop, he leaned closer again. “Far from it.”

Her breath came faster, deeper. “The way you look at me, I know you must not think so.”

“Tell me why you think it.”

No, she couldn’t go there. For many, many reasons, not all of them her own, elaborating was impossible. “I can’t.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

“Both, I guess.” Shoring up her courage, she met his piercing green eyes and saw the sympathy there. But she knew she didn’t deserve sympathy. She didn’t really deserve anything.

Not after what she’d done, what she’d let happen.

How cowardly she’d been. But not anymore.

She’d been given a second chance, and by God, she would grab it with both hands.

Reese had mentioned love. Love him, love his dog.

Easy enough, since she’d lost her heart to Cash the second she’d met him. That Reese came with the dog, or vice versa...well, that could be a wonderful bonus.

Her throat tightened. She’d come to accept that love was well out of reach. She hadn’t been worthy of love.

Then.

But now?

She desperately wanted to explore the expanding emotions he inspired. Did she dare?

She would never again be a coward.

Clearing the constricting uncertainty from her throat, she forced herself to meet his gaze. He watched her so closely that she felt it right down to her heart. “When can you move back to your apartment?”

The seconds ticked by. “In a hurry to get rid of me?”

“Not at all.” Alice admitted the truth. “I’m hoping you still need a place to stay. That is, I hope you’ll want to stay here again.” And just in case he wasn’t getting it, she added, “With me.”

He dropped back in his seat, his eyes closed, his expression frustrated. “You don’t pull your punches, do you?”

When she’d so generously been offered a new lease on life, she’d vowed to be clear and concise in all things. She wanted Reese. For how much, she didn’t yet know, but she wanted to find out. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”

He half laughed and opened his eyes to watch her again.

“You shouldn’t feel obligated to...do anything.” That sounded terrible. “I mean, you’re welcome to sleep here. On the couch.” Worse and worse, Alice. She screwed up her flagging courage and put on a serious face. “I wasn’t hitting on you, as Pam and Nikki do.”

“I can tell the difference.”

Of course he could. She felt like a fool.

Reese smiled at her. “I would have asked, you know.”

Tension eased from her shoulders. “You want to stay?”

“For several reasons. First and foremost, after the excitement last night, you shouldn’t be alone. Yes, you’re coping well. And now that I know a hint of your past, I suppose being well-armed makes...sense.”

Was he trying not to insult her? “You think I’m overdoing it.”

“I think you’re doing what you need to in order to feel safer.”

Safer, but not safe. Reese understood the difference. Now that she knew how easy it was to become the victim, never again would she feel entirely safe. “Yes.”

He toyed with his empty glass, turning it on the table. “I can only imagine how you were affected by the shooting and the death—”

She lifted her chin. “I would have helped.”

“You did help. You sent Logan in with full knowledge of what was happening. Without you, he might have ended up in the same boat as the lieutenant and me.”

She still didn’t know everything that had happened, how or why. “Handcuffed to a bed?”

“Or dead.” Reese pushed back from his chair and carried his empty plate to the sink.

Were all men so comfortable in a kitchen? So tidy?

Not that she could remember. Her dad was wonderful, but he’d left household chores to her mother.

The few relationships she’d had never went beyond casual dating, so she had no idea how those men had been in a kitchen.

As if merely curious, Reese asked, “You would have used that gun yesterday?”

“If necessary.” That was one thing she’d proven to herself. She could pull the trigger. “I gave my other gun to your friend, since he’d left his with his brother—”

“Other gun?” He turned to face her again. “You have more?”

“Another revolver. Logan didn’t tell you it was mine?”

“He got shot, and he was bleeding all over....” Reese looked at her face and cursed low. “So damn much confusion, and too many people involved.” He cleared his plate and put it in the dishwasher. “The CST has your gun, so I hope you’re right about that permit.”

“I am.” Curiosity got the better of her. “CST? Is that Crime Scene Tech?”

“Yes. They’re responsible for taking photos of the scene and collecting evidence.”

She scowled. “When will I get it back?” The idea of being short a gun didn’t sit right. She’d gotten used to knowing exactly where to find each weapon.

“If everything checks out, it won’t be long.” He took her plate to the dishwasher, too, then came to stand right in front of her. He touched her chin, lifted her face. “Whenever an officer is involved in a shooting, he gets mandatory paid time off, usually three days.”

Hope bloomed in her breast. “So you’ll be off for the next three days?”

“Not if I can help it, but maybe.”

Oh. Unlike her, he wasn’t rattled by the violence. He was ready to get back to work, and she only worried about being alone with her thoughts.

And her memories.

It felt far too uncomfortable to be sitting while he towered over her. She eased out of her chair and stood behind it. “You don’t want the time off?”

“I want to follow up some leads. One bastard died but not before telling us...”

When he trailed off, Alice filled in for him. “About his human trafficking venture.” Her hands tightened on the back of the chair. “That’s what you were going to say.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “It burned my ass to have divided loyalties yesterday.”

How she would love to put her hands around his bulging biceps; the skin there looked so smooth and taut. She could maybe trail her fingers over the solid muscles in his shoulders, too, and down through his crisp chest hair....

“Alice,” he warned.

“Divided how?”

He took a step closer but didn’t touch her. “Logan was shot, Rowdy was in a fury and Pepper was all emotional.”

Sorting out the people involved would take some doing. “You said Pepper and Rowdy are siblings.”

“The reason Rowdy was so furious. The guy that died? He’d planned to give Pepper to the traffickers.”

Sickness churned in her stomach, burned in her throat. “That’s why you and Detective Riske were after him?”

“Not entirely, no. Morton Andrews was guilty of many things, all of them worthy of death.”

So many awful people in the world. Too many. She swallowed back the distaste of evil. “I’m glad he’s dead.”

Reese gave her a long look. “Pepper wasn’t emotional over that, though, and it wasn’t just fear for her brother.”

“No?”

“Mostly it was Logan getting shot. She went all girly over it, which was a shocker because before that, she’d been stoic to the point of being stony. Especially around me.”

“She didn’t trust you?”

“Apparently not. But seeing her at the hospital...I think she softened some once she realized I wasn’t in cahoots with the bad guys.”

That ludicrous idea struck her funny. “She must not be very perceptive if she ever thought that.”

“Actually, she’s sharp as a tack, and since I’d been keeping secrets, she had her reasons for doubting me.” He shook his head, averting her many questions. “No, don’t ask. When you share, so will I.”

Unfair. “I have valid reasons for keeping some things to myself.”

“Yeah? Me, too.” He went around her toward the living room. “Anyway, while I was at the hospital to check on Logan and keep an eye on Pepper, other detectives followed up our lead.”

“You wanted to be there when that happened?”

“Damn straight. But policy is that any cop involved in a shooting has that mandatory time off I mentioned.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. They had it covered, and that meant I could stay at the hospital with Logan.”

“You’re a good friend.” Cash walked away to lounge in the sunshine pouring through the patio doors.

“While I was otherwise involved, Lieutenant Peterson finagled a group bust, and last I heard officers were en route to intercept a transfer...of women.”

Panic closed in on her, trying to suffocate her, compressing her lungs and stinging her eyes.

That sickness roiled again, but Alice swallowed several times and willed away the awfulness by focusing on Reese, watching him lift his clothes, dig out his keys...

His keys. New panic exploded. “You’re leaving?”

He took one look at her and dropped the clothes again. In three long strides he reached her. “I’ll only be gone long enough to shower and get clean clothes.” He held her shoulders, hesitated then drew her in to his chest.

Warmth and Reese’s unique scent enveloped her. He didn’t wrap those thick arms around her, didn’t crush her close. He merely held her.

Fascinated, curious in a way she hadn’t experienced in far too long, Alice lifted her hands to his bare chest. That soft cushion of chest hair, a few shades darker than that on his head, teased her palms. She rested her cheek against him and inhaled deeply, wanting to eat him up.

The top of her head didn’t reach his chin. She felt his heartbeat against her cheek. He smelled of man, sex and excitement, but at the same time, he filled her with peace and contentment, emotions so long absent from her life. “I’m sorry. I keep imposing when I don’t mean to.”

“I want you to.”

That made no sense. “You want me to impose?”

He put one hand to the back of her head, tangled his fingers in her hair. “I want you to tell me what you think and feel. I want you to confide in me.”

“Oh. Okay.” She turned her face a little so that it was her nose touching his furry chest. “I wish I was as strong as you.”

He made a gruff sound. “Honey, this wouldn’t be happening right now if you looked like me.”

Another smile. That was a special gift in itself, the humor he brought her. Humor was one more thing she’d never again take for granted. “I meant your courage. Not your physique.”

“You were plenty brave yesterday.”

“No.” She owed him the truth about that, since she couldn’t be truthful about everything else—much as she wished it otherwise. “I have tunnel vision in dangerous situations. Knowing armed men had come to hurt you and probably anyone else who got in the way...” Taking a step back, she put a hand to her stomach. “I trembled so badly inside, I felt queasy and weak all over.”

He shocked her by covering her hand with his own, but since his was so much bigger, his fingertips pressed into her sensitive flesh. Even through her shirt, his touch felt far too intimate.

And stirring.

Gaze compelling, he spoke in a deep, hushed voice. “Come on, Alice. That’s just a healthy respect for danger. You’d have to be an idiot to be indifferent to thugs with loaded weapons.”

Yes... Wait. What were they talking about? She’d stopped hearing him the second he touched her.

“Alice?” He turned his hand to catch hers. “I’m going to leave Cash here with you.”

“Thank you.” The dog provided so much comfort, and in the short time she’d been watching him, she’d grown accustomed to his presence. When he wasn’t around, she missed the sound of his snores, his occasional bark.

Even the sound of him breathing.

“Before I go, there’s one thing I need to know.”

Dreading the inquisition, Alice nodded.

“I’d appreciate it if you’d tell me your last name.”

* * *

REESE WATCHED HER eyes widen, saw her soft lips part with a husky laugh. “We’ve never been properly introduced, have we?”

Damn, she leveled him without even trying. The way she laughed, how her dark eyes all but devoured him. He’d let her off the hook with details of being kidnapped—but only until he had her more relaxed.

She might think she kept it together, but he looked at her and saw so much, all of it painful to witness. She was on the edge, and if she lost it, if she cried, it’d crush him.

Hearing about it would be even worse, so, yeah, maybe he needed a little more time to get it together, too.

“I was all right and proper and introduced myself, but you were determined to cut me cold.” He liked holding her hand and that she hadn’t yet pulled away. “If it wasn’t for Cash, I’d never have gotten even a simple nod from you.”

“I’m sor—”

“Do not apologize.”

Her grin widened. “Okay.” She did a silly curtsy. “Alice Appleton.”

Why that tickled him, Reese couldn’t say, but hearing her name, how melodic it sounded, left him smiling, too. And after she’d kept him at such a distance, getting a last name meant he was finally making strides.

“I like it. It suits you.” He tugged her in close again, and when she didn’t resist, he rested his chin on top of her head. “Involvement in a shooting is always difficult. Even for a cop, counseling is offered, and strongly advised. It’d make sense if you needed to talk to someone, too.”

Giving away nothing, she said simply, “No.”

Accepting that, because he felt the same, he asked, “Will you talk to me about it?”

“I already did. It was awful.” She burrowed closer. “I was cowardly, but I would have done what needed to be done, and I’m proud of that.”

Wow. He’d never known anyone, much less a woman, who spoke so candidly. In one respect it worried him, because she left herself so emotionally exposed, she could be easily hurt.

Her lack of artifice also humbled him, made him more determined than ever to know her and all her dark secrets. “You’ve done what had to be done before?”

Instead of answering, she snuggled closer still. “You smell incredible, Reese.”

A diversion—but he got the message all the same. He had made strides, so he wouldn’t get too greedy. Not right now, anyway. “If you say so, but I need a shower.”

He put his nose to the crown of her head. She was the one who smelled good. Sort of warm and soft and uniquely...Alice.

Maybe because she wasn’t ready to let him go, she asked, “What happens now? With your work, I mean?”

“The coroner already had the body transported for autopsy.”

“I’m glad it’s not still in your apartment.”

He felt her shudder. “Yeah, me, too.” He ran his hand up and down her spine, settling his palm low at the small of her back, close to where her backside started a gentle rise. The subtleties of her figure teased him, made him anxious to discover more. “Because the death was officer involved, IAD will send an investigator. The D.A.’s office, too.”

“Internal affairs?”

He splayed his fingers, spanning the narrow width of her back. She was so small, so delicate. The contrasts between his large frame and her slender figure had him stirring again. Insane. He couldn’t let that keep happening. Not with Alice.

Not while they discussed things so awful and real.

He told himself that he would have her.

When she was ready. When he got her ready.

At the moment, Alice didn’t seem clear on what she wanted, but he wasn’t inexperienced, and unlike her, he wasn’t conflicted. He felt her nearly tactile interest every time she looked him over with those big, dark eyes.

Yes, she wanted his company so she wouldn’t be alone.

And she wanted him—as a man. Thank God.

But now was not the time to seduce her...easy as it’d probably be.

“Both offices will want to interview Lieutenant Peterson, Logan and me, the sooner the better.”

She pressed back to scowl up at him. “Are you in trouble?”

“It’s just routine. We’re not accused of any wrongdoing, but it’s smart to cover all the bases. Don’t worry about it.” Mostly he just wanted to get past it so he could get back to work.

“Officers talked to me last night.”

Damn. Of course they had. Feeling his way, he asked, “How did that go?”

“It was fine. I told them what I knew, but really, other than recognizing there was a problem and loaning a gun to your friend, I didn’t know what had happened or why.”

And yet, other than asking how everyone had fared, she didn’t pry. “I can finish explaining everything to you later, okay?”

She nodded. “You still haven’t told me how long it will be before you can return to your apartment.”

“After a couple of days, we’ll be through all the necessary tasks. Then I’ll have a company come in that specializes in cleaning...crime scenes.”

“Meaning blood and gore and such?”

He moved right past that. No reason to dwell on the nastiness. The cleaners would get done in a day, but because he figured he’d want to stay with her longer, she didn’t need to know that yet. “So, Alice Appleton, may I be your guest until my apartment is ready?”

“Yes, Reese Bareden, you may.” Head tipped back, silky hair falling behind her shoulders, she met his gaze. “And, thank you. I’m sure a few days will make all the difference. I only need a little time to—”

Reese bent down to kiss her.

He didn’t plan it, hadn’t even realized he would do it, but once he got there, with his mouth on hers, awareness reverberated throughout his system, making itself known...everywhere.

In his pants for sure, his head, as well, and maybe even in his heart.

That bothered him, so he made the decision to keep it brief, nothing more than a peck. Except that her mouth was insanely soft, and it all felt so damn right, he couldn’t help but linger. He didn’t kiss her the way he really wanted, and still it staggered him.

Her hands curled carefully against his chest, her fingertips pressing into his pecs, the telling gesture giving away so much.

She wasn’t unaffected.

Great.

Finally managing to ease back, Reese studied her closed eyes and heated skin and knew he had to go now before he took things too far.

He ran the back of his knuckles over her downy cheek. All women were soft, damn it. But somehow, with Alice, the softness seemed amplified.

Reese said, “I won’t be long.”

She still didn’t open her eyes. Instead, she swallowed, nodded and shooed him away.

That got him grinning and helped to subdue other, more disturbing reactions. Alice was the funniest and, yes, oddest woman he’d ever known. Everything about her was endearing. And a turn-on.

Somewhere in her past, she’d been taken by strangers. She’d been hurt, but he didn’t know how badly. He only knew it was enough to get her armed to the teeth, to make her wary of one and all.

Enough to have her seek a life of isolation.

Eventually he’d find out everything. For today, he’d start with a few phone calls and go from there.

One thing was certain. Until he knew if she was still in danger, he wouldn’t leave Alice Appleton unprotected. He had only planned to get clean clothes from his apartment, maybe his shaving kit, toothbrush...but, what the hell. He’d pack a bag, and until further notice, he’d be her roommate—and her shadow.

“Lock the door behind me.” And with that reminder, he walked out before he changed his mind and didn’t go at all.