12
ALEX UNDERSTOOD, all too clearly now, that he was a weak, undisciplined man. It was no wonder he hadn’t lasted in the FBI. Put his greatest sexual temptation in front of him, and he couldn’t think of anything else, couldn’t tear his attention away from her.
It was Tuesday afternoon, and his first day’s attempt at pretending he and Yasmine had never happened had been a sad one so far at best.
He peered over the wall of his cubicle and spotted Yasmine across the room. Even the top of her head as she leaned over someone’s computer turned him on. A thousand swimsuit models couldn’t have had the same effect on him that she’d had this weekend, that she continued to have even now when he was supposed to be focusing on updates for the Virtual Bimbo software.
Instead of work, his mind kept circling the memories of their weekend together. An image of the smooth curves of her bare ass up against his hips as he buried his cock inside her, pounding against her again and again, flashed in his head, and he got an erection right there under the glaring fluorescent lights.
Damn it. He shifted in his seat, tugging at his khakis to create some extra room for his wood as he turned away from the guy across the aisle from him.
Even his guilt hadn’t put a damper on his desire for her. But regardless of what his body wanted, he had to put some distance between them. They couldn’t keep going at it like rabbits.
“Hey,” a female voice said from behind him, and Alex turned to see Yasmine standing there.
“Hey, yourself.”
“Can you spare a few minutes in the break room?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
She held her finger to her lips and nodded ever so slightly toward the guy sitting behind her. “Nothing much, just a little issue to clear up.”
Alex watched as she turned and headed away, her tight black skirt revealing long, golden legs accented by a pair of high heels. Guys couldn’t help but stare as she passed, though now, when he got up to follow, they stared at him as well.
A few people had commented on his showing up at the holiday party with Yasmine, but they were the typical guy sort of comments, nothing particularly rude. Now his co-workers looked at him as if he’d just discovered the secret to eternal life and was refusing to share it.
He couldn’t say he blamed them.
Alex opened the door of the break room and entered, letting it swing shut behind him. Inside, the scent of microwave buttered popcorn mingled with the less-distinctive and less-pleasant odors of various frozen and left-over lunches that had been reheated recently. Yasmine was removing a Mountain Dew from the soda machine.
“Why do I feel like this is an illicit meeting?” he asked when she turned to him.
“I just didn’t want anyone listening in. We’re now the number-one fodder for office gossip, and I, for one, don’t think I can take another guy giving me that look today.”
“What look?” But he knew the one she meant.
“That ‘I’m picturing you naked getting it on with one of my co-workers’ look.”
Alex tried not to smile. “I haven’t gotten any looks like that today.”
“Lucky you, but seriously, could you do me a favor and start dispelling the myths?”
“What myths?”
“Come on, now, don’t tell me you haven’t heard.”
“Heard what?”
“Rumors about this weekend are getting out of control. People are saying we did it in a hotel rest room, that we were taking our clothes off as we climbed into the limousine to leave—”
“But we didn’t even take a limo.”
“Exactly.”
Alex gave up his battle with the laughter building inside him. It erupted, and to his surprise, Yasmine laughed along with him.
He’d expected her to be thoroughly pissed off, offended, outraged even. But instead, she laughed deep in her belly as if he’d just told the funniest joke she’d ever heard—until her eyes were watering and her cheeks were a rosy pink. He loved that he couldn’t always anticipate her reactions, and he loved that in the face of possible workplace humiliation, she could laugh.
He wondered if it was her rebellious streak coming out again, enjoying the spectacle they’d created at the same time that her more cautious side yearned to avoid controversy.
“I’m sorry,” he said once she’d gotten control over herself. “I know this is annoying. Where the hell are the crazy rumors coming from?”
“You take all these guys and give them fodder for a fantasy, and what do you expect?”
“Why would they be fantasizing about us together?” he asked.
“It’s more like they’re fantasizing about what might be possible if they’re the lucky guy the next time a holiday office party rolls around.”
“Ah. I see. I’ll make sure I put the rumors to rest.”
“I’m not asking you to lie,” she said, then took a sip of her soft drink.
“It’s okay, really. The last thing I want is to make it hard for you to work here.”
“Thanks. I’ll do what I can to dispel any rumors I hear, too. I didn’t think I cared one way or the other about this stuff, but I can’t stand getting this much attention.”
“Let’s make sure we’ve got our stories matched up. Say we tell everyone I took you home, gave you a chaste kiss on the cheek, and that was the end of it. We’re just friends, and we don’t have any plans to date again.”
But as the words exited his mouth, some crazy part of him wanted to take them back. He didn’t want it all to be over. Didn’t want the hottest affair he’d ever had to have lasted only a weekend.
“That sounds okay, I guess.”
“You guess?”
She gave him a speculative look. “I know we agreed this would be a one-weekend thing, but…”
This was it. This was where he was supposed to tell her that they couldn’t see each other again, that continuing what they’d started would be a mistake.
But would she hear the insincerity in his voice? Would she see it in his eyes?
“Do you really think it’s a good idea to keep this up? I mean, with us working together, and the rumors already running rampant…”
She sighed and flopped down in the nearest metal folding chair. Alex kept his distance, still standing near the door where he was less tempted to slide his hand up Yasmine’s shirt and under her bra.
“You’re right,” she said. “I knew from the start it was a bad idea.”
“Some bad ideas just have to be tried anyway. And I don’t regret a second of it.”
“So…we just act like this weekend never happened?”
“You okay with that?”
Her gaze traveled from the green plastic bottle she held to him. “Absolutely. It’s really the best way to go.”
Right. It was clean and easy, and it would make living with his guilty conscience a little easier.
So why did his every male fiber protest the idea? Why did he feel like spreading her out on the break table, pushing her skirt up around her waist, and giving the employees of Virtual Active a hell of a lot more to gossip about?
Because his dick had no common sense, that’s why.
Instead, he closed the distance between them and leaned over Yasmine, tilting her chin up with one hand. He’d intended to plant a soft, friendly kiss on her cheek, thank her for everything and vow never to say a word about what they’d done….
But something entirely different happened.
His mouth disobeyed. Refused to make contact with her cheek. Went straight for the cushion of her full lips. And then his tongue launched its own rebellion, probing into her mouth, hungry for the taste of her mingled with Mountain Dew.
Then she was standing up, and his hands were buried in her hair, cupping the back of her head as their mouths completely ignored the vow they’d just made to be nothing more than friendly co-workers.
“Whoa! Sorry to interrupt. I’ll just get my coffee later.”
They broke apart and saw the source of their interruption. Drew was backing out the door with coffee cup in hand, his expression a mixture of embarrassment and interest.
“Um…” Yasmine said, but nothing else came out.
When the break room door had swung shut again, they looked at each other.
“Crap.”
“Yeah,” Alex said, feeling like a jerk. “Sorry.”
“I wasn’t exactly stopping you.”
“You shouldn’t have needed to.”
“So much for putting an end to the rumors.” The wry smile she wore suggested she accepted their plight as inescapable now.
“I’ll tell Drew that was our farewell kiss, and that we’re finished. No more making out in the break room.”
“Or you could tell him I had a potato chip stuck in my throat and you were trying to remove it with your tongue.” Her laugh cut through the tension in the room.
“Have you ever had an office affair before?” Alex asked.
“No. This is my first and last.”
The determination in her voice should have been some relief to him, but instead it left him feeling disappointed.
He nodded as if he knew just how she felt.
“Guess I’d better get back out to my desk before they send another spy in here,” she said, flashing a tired smile as she headed for the door.
He couldn’t keep going like this. He’d lied to Yasmine, and he didn’t have it in him to tell her the truth. Not so soon on the heels of their lovemaking. He just needed to get away from her, get some physical and emotional distance, and then he’d be able to think clearly. Decide what to do next.
Figure out where to go and what to do after giving up what he feared he wanted most in life.
BY THE END OF THE WORKDAY Tuesday, Alex knew he had to leave Virtual Active, and the sooner the better. He couldn’t keep living in the middle of this lie.
The decision had been brewing in his subconscious since last night, and being so close to Yasmine today, while knowing he should stay away from her, solidified it. Plus, there were more practical concerns, such as the fact that he’d uncovered everything he could about her hacking activities or lack thereof, and his case was as closed as it would ever be. Oh, and he couldn't forget that if he didn’t turn his attention back to his information security business, it was going to go under before it had really gotten started.
He peered in the door of his supervisor’s office and saw that he was free, so he gave a quick knock.
“Hey, Kyle, what’s up?” Bryan Dermott asked when he looked up from his computer.
“You have a minute to talk?”
“Sure, come on in.”
Alex sat on the edge of the nearest chair. “I just wanted to let you know I don’t think this job is the right fit for me, and I’m putting in my notice to leave.”
“Wow. Um, this is rather sudden. I hope it doesn’t have anything to do with those rumors that have been flying around here today.”
“No, the rumors are completely false,” Alex said. “It’s a personal decision, based purely on what I’m looking for in a job.”
“Fair enough. If you’re not happy with the work, you’re not happy.”
“Thanks for understanding,” he said, glad to at least be getting this obstacle out of his way. Without the job, there’d be at least that distance between him and Yasmine.
“Well, since you just started a few weeks ago, and you haven’t taken on that big a workload yet, we’re not going to be hurting if you leave today.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Bryan nodded. “You don’t have to bother with two weeks’ notice. Go ahead and clear out your desk, and we’ll call this your last day.”
This was the part where Alex was supposed to feel secretly relieved and thrilled, but a knot formed in his gut instead. It was time to move on, time to put the case behind him, time to focus on his own life and forget about all things related to Yasmine Talbot.
He left Bryan’s office and walked through the aisles of cubicles, this time wishing he could avoid Yasmine’s—an odd feeling after having spent the past weeks coming up with excuse after excuse to walk by her desk.
She looked up from her work and saw him as he neared.
“Hey,” he said, assuming the posture of a guy who’d just been let go.
Luckily, most of the people who sat near her had just left for a training session and wouldn’t be around to hear him confess his job “loss.”
Her expression, distracted and vague, made it clear he’d interrupted her in the middle of some serious code slinging. “What’s the matter?” she asked.
“Today’s my last day here.”
Her jaw dropped. “What happened?”
“I’m not as qualified for the job as I thought I was.”
“But you just started. It takes time to learn everything.”
“Honestly, I’m not that into it. I need a job I feel passionate about.”
Two little creases formed between her eyebrows, and he wished he could reach out and smooth them.
“I guess I can understand that. This just seems so sudden—Wait a minute. This doesn’t have anything to do with me, does it?”
“Of course not. It’s a career decision.”
Which sounded about as likely as claiming sleeping with her in the first place had been a career decision.
She sat speechless for a few moments, before he filled in the silence for her.
“I swear this has nothing to do with you. Ever since I finished training, I’ve been feeling like I was in the wrong job, and a talk I just had with Bryan Dermott confirmed it.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
He shruggedd. “I’m still considering my options.”
She blinked, then looked at him as if she knew there was something he wasn’t telling her. “I’ll miss seeing you around here,” she finally said. “You really added some interest to our office landscape.”
“I’ll miss seeing you, too,” he said, wondering if this would be the last time.
Would he have the willpower to stay away? Would she?
“So, is this it?” Yasmine asked, looking a little unsure of herself for once.
“‘It’ as in the last time we see each other?”
“Yeah.” Her voice was soft, almost a whisper.
“Do you want it to be?”
Against all his better sense, he wanted her to say no.
“No,” she said, answering his prayers.
“Neither do I.”
“Then I’ll call you. Or you call me, okay?”
Alex nodded and smiled. “Okay.”
They stared at each other for a moment too long, something big and uncomfortable hanging in the air between them. The unstated fact that their relationship didn’t have a destination. It was a bus on the road to nowhere, and neither of them wanted to get off.