23
It’s not easy to find a quiet place to talk, but Dan leads me into the cloakrooms and we sit among the coats and jackets, side by side in the half-light.
‘It was always gonna happen,’ Dan huffs. ‘Fisher’s been on my case for ages, and he went crazy when I legged it out of school the other week. He’s been sending letters and leaving messages on the answer phone. I’ve been sneaking home while Mum’s at work to bin the letters and erase the messages. But we came home from the cafe a bit earlier than usual today. The phone was ringing, and Mum got to it before me…’
‘Mr Fisher,’ I finish. ‘Oh, Dan.’
‘It’s a disaster, Anya,’ he groans. ‘Mum knows all about the skiving off now. I’ve told her a whole raft of lies over the last few months… no wonder she’s mad. And, of course, Fisher told her about the fire thing and how I was suspended for three days when she just thought I had the flu… Anya, what am I gonna do?’
‘It’s a mess,’ I admit. ‘What did your mum say?’
Dan winces. ‘She was just so… so angry with me,’ he says. ‘I’ve never seen her like that before. She kept saying that I’d let her down, that she’d never been so disappointed in me. That hurt, Anya. I was doing it all for her! She’d never have managed otherwise!’
I bite my lip.
‘You think I was wrong too, don’t you?’ he says. ‘But I had no choice! Mum and Dad had big plans for the cafe – catering for parties, a delivery service. But none of that fancy extra stuff ever got off the ground, and Mum could barely keep the place afloat. When Dad walked out… well, what else was I supposed to do? I had to help, didn’t I?’
Dan rolls his soft brown eyes up to the ceiling.
‘I’ve really messed up,’ he sighs. ‘Fisher’s gonna involve the authorities. Mum might get fined, or worse. She’s furious. Ben started crying and Nate said I’d spoiled Christmas, and I…’ Dan puts his head in his hands. ‘I said that I hated the lot of them, and I slammed out of the house. I’ve gone and made everything about a million times worse.’
Dan takes my hands and holds them tight. ‘I wish you could understand,’ he whispers. ‘I wish you just knew how it feels when your life is falling apart…’
I bite my lip. ‘I do know, Dan,’ I tell him. ‘Not about the parents thing, but… well, things are pretty awful for me too. I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks, but I didn’t know how… and I know this isn’t exactly a good time, but if I don’t do it now I might not get another chance.’
I take a deep breath. ‘Dad’s business is failing. Unless we get some kind of a miracle, it looks like we’ll be heading back to Krakow in the New Year.’
Dan’s eyes flash with anger. ‘Krakow? No way! They can’t do that – you can’t do that, Anya! I need you, OK? I need you here!’
‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper. ‘I didn’t know you’d care…’
Dan rakes a hand through his dark braids. ‘You didn’t know I’d care?’ he echoes. ‘Are you crazy? Oh, Anya, what a mess… we’ve wasted so much time! We have to be together, OK, we have to! I know I’m not good enough for you, I know things are complicated, but… well, nobody understands me like you do, OK? Nobody.’
His eyes shine in the half-light.
‘What if we run away, Anya?’ he breathes. ‘You and me? We could be together, away from all this junk. Your parents can’t make you go back to Krakow then, and Mum will see how much she needs me, and Dad will be sorry and maybe come back home…’
For a moment I can almost see it, me and Dan, together, running, laughing, with nothing to pull us apart. Then the image slides out of shape, dissolving like snow in the sunshine.
‘No, Dan,’ I whisper. ‘We can’t. It’d just hurt everyone even more. Running away is not the answer.’ I pull Dan to his feet. ‘We have to face things. Put things right, bit by bit. And you have to talk to Mr Fisher – tell him you need one more chance.’
‘He hates me,’ Dan argues. ‘He’d never listen, and all the teachers think I’m no good.’
‘I know different,’ I say. ‘I know a boy who helps his family, is kind to strangers, makes magic out of nothing for his friends.’
Dan looks at me for a long moment, his dark eyes burning.
‘Sometimes, it feels like you’re the only one who ever sees the good in me,’ he says.
He leans towards me, so close I can feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek, the tickle of his braids as they fall against my face. My eyes flicker shut, and my heart is hammering so loud in my chest I swear the whole school can hear it.
Then some Year Sevens blunder along, looking for their coats, and we spring apart, wide-eyed, guilty.
Dan rolls his eyes up to the ceiling. ‘Typical,’ he says.
I grin, hiding my blushes behind a curtain of hair.
‘Come on,’ I tell him, pulling him to his feet. ‘We will find Mr Fisher, put this right. You can change, Dan – work hard in school, make your mum proud. No more trouble.’
‘I can’t talk to Fisher!’ Dan protests. ‘Not in front of everyone! I won’t know what to say!’
‘Speak from the heart,’ I tell him. ‘Say the things you said to me. Say sorry.’
‘Sorry?’ Dan pulls a face. ‘Do I have to?’
‘Yes, you have to.’
‘And what about you, about going back to Krakow?’ Dan asks.
I sigh. ‘Some things you just can’t fight,’ I tell him. ‘No matter how much you want to. But still, I’m hoping for a miracle!’
We walk into the hall, into the half-light of frosted snowflakes and tinsel streamers. The dance floor is packed now, and Mr Critchley is dancing around on stage as he lines up the CDs and sets the disco lights flashing. I see Lily Caldwell dancing with a circle of Dan’s bad-boy friends around her. She’s moving in a bored, listless kind of way, waving a sprig of mistletoe around and wiggling her bum a lot. Then her eyes swoop over Dan and me, and her eyes harden, her mouth forming a thin, cold line. Well, I have more important things to worry about than Lily.
‘There’s Mr Fisher, over by the drinks –’
‘I can’t talk to him there!’ Dan yells into my ear. ‘Not in this racket! Anya, he’ll never listen.’
‘He’ll listen,’ I promise. ‘Stay here, Dan, I’ll fetch him. You can talk outside, beside the coats, like we did. Please, Dan?’
‘I guess,’ Dan agrees.
By the time I battle my way through the crush of kids to get to the refreshments table, Mr Critchley has changed the CD and a slow, slushy number floods the room. Kids sprint off the dance floor in a panic, but I see Frankie and Kurt, hand in hand, walking up to dance, and I smile. Looks like things are finally working out for them too.
It takes forever to get Mr Fisher to understand. ‘Someone needs to talk to you,’ I yell at him, over the mince pies. ‘There’s a pupil in trouble. It is important, serious, you must come now!’ Mr Fisher straightens his tie and follows me across the hall.
There’s just one problem… Dan is not standing by the door, where I left him. There’s no sign of him at all.
‘Who did you say needs to speak to me?’ Mr Fisher frowns. ‘What’s this all about?’
I look around the hall, and then I see him, and my heart turns to ice. Dan is in the middle of the dance floor, with Lily Caldwell, dancing. As I watch, Lily leans in, waving the sprig of mistletoe over Dan’s head, and kisses him full on the lips.