Already Gone

– 34 –



After they leave, I lock the door and sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the photo of Diane. I want it to be true, I want her to be alive, but I don’t believe it.

I won’t let myself believe it.

I drop the photo on the bed and ease back onto the pillows. My chest aches where Briggs hit me, and for a while the pain is enough to keep my mind off everything he told me, but soon the pain fades and my thoughts start spinning away from me.

I feel the tears coming, and close my eyes.

When I open them again, the light outside my window is fading. I sit up and look at the clock on the nightstand. I still have a little time before I meet Lisa, but the last place I want to be is sitting in my room, waiting.

I need to get out.

I push myself off the bed and grab a fresh set of clothes from the suitcase. Once I’m dressed, I take my car keys and one of the cell phones from the desk, then open the door and walk out into the dark.





I see the first sign for the Church on the Rock about a mile from my hotel. There’s an arrow pointing the way, and I follow it up into the hills until I see another sign. From there it’s easy to find.

There are no other cars in the parking lot, so I drive around back and park at the far end where I can keep an eye on the entrance. I sit for a while, waiting, and it’s not long before my fingers start tapping and the buzz in my head becomes too loud to think.

I shut off the engine and get out of the car.

There’s a brick path running along the edge of the parking lot. I follow it around the church to a circle of benches and a viewing area overlooking the town.

It’s dark, and the breeze coming up from below is warm and gentle. In the moonlight, I can see the deep shadows of the valley stretching out toward the horizon and the scatter of red rocks silhouetted against the night sky.

I stand on the edge and look out for a long time, trying my best to stay calm. If I start thinking about Diane, if I start believing she’s alive, I won’t be able to think straight and I’ll make mistakes.

I can’t afford mistakes.

My stomach is twisted and raw. I try to keep my mind off it by pacing back and forth along the brick path, and focusing on what I want to say to Lisa.

A few minutes later I hear a car engine and see headlights coming into the parking lot. I walk back down the path, and when I come around the side of the church, I see a rusted white pickup truck stopped in front of my car.

As I get closer, I recognize Lisa in the driver’s seat. She’s alone, and even though I’ve tried not to get my hopes up, I feel them sink inside me.

Lisa sees me coming and rolls down her window. “What are you doing out there?”

“Waiting for you. There’s a path—”

Lisa leans over and unlocks the passenger door. “Get in, let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“For a drive, so we can talk. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

I walk around the truck to the passenger side and open the door. I notice a couple suitcases in the back, along with several cardboard boxes.

“You’re leaving?”

“That’s my business,” she says. “Are you getting in or not?”

I look at the boxes again, then climb into the truck and close the door. Lisa pulls out of the parking lot.

We drive down the hill in silence.





“Where are we going?”

“We’re driving.” Lisa pauses. “This is the only place I know they’re not listening.”

I start to ask her about Briggs, then stop myself. If I tell her what happened at my hotel, she might decide it’s too dangerous to talk to me, and I can’t take that chance. Right now, she’s all I have.

“Who are they?”

“No idea,” she says. “All I know is that my phone is tapped and there are people outside my house who drive away when I come out.”

“What do they want?”

“They haven’t told me.”

“If you had to guess, why do you think they’re out there? Why are they watching you?”

“Why do you think?” She looks at me, then back at the road. “They’re watching me for the same reason they’re watching you.”

“Diane?” I ask.

“That’s right.”

Something in my chest begins to vibrate.

“I wasn’t a part of this, you know.” She shakes her head. “No one told me anything. It wasn’t until you started calling that I knew something had happened. The next thing I know, I’ve got people watching me through the trees outside my house.”

My throat is tight, and I have to force the words. “Is it true?”

Lisa stares straight ahead, the light from the oncoming cars rolling over us both. “Is what true?”

“Is Diane alive?”

“How did—” Lisa pauses. “Yes, she’s alive.”

I look down at my hands. They’re shaking, and I squeeze them together to make them stop.

It doesn’t work.

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, it’s not. I wasn’t supposed to know any of this. I found out because of you, and I wouldn’t let it go. I kept asking questions.”

“Asking who?” Even before the words are out, I remember the photo on her mantle and I know the answer. “Your father. You’re involved because of him.”

“What do you know about him?”

“He was the coroner, the one who had me ID her body. He signed her death certificate.”

Lisa nods, silent.

“Where is he?”

“Gone, God knows where. I haven’t talked to him since he told me what he did.”

“Since he told you he lied.”

“Since he told me he helped her,” Lisa says. “Just like he always does when she comes crawling back to him.”

There’s a hint of anger in her voice, but I don’t pay much attention. I’m thinking back to the night in Fairplay when I identified Diane’s body. Most of the memories are blurred, splintered by the booze, and they come back to me in jagged waves. The dark hallway and empty offices, the smell of ammonia, the way Diane’s skin looked under the cold fluorescent lights.

“He never should’ve been involved, but Diane made him believe it was the only way.” She looks at me. “How much do you know?”

“I don’t know what I know anymore.”

“Do you know how all this started? How she got in trouble?”

I think about what Briggs told me back at the hotel, but I decide to keep it to myself a while longer, just in case.

“I don’t think so.”

“Dad knew. He was the only person she told.” Lisa frowns. “He wouldn’t tell me what she’d said to him, but whatever it was, it worked. He dropped everything to help her.”

“Help her how?”

“To start over,” she says. “He helped her run away.”

The buzz in my chest spreads through my arms, and I realize I’m holding my breath.

“I don’t know how many favors he had to call in to pull it off, but he did.” She holds up her hand and starts ticking off fingers. “A death certificate, a new name, a passport, even a flight out of the country.”

“A flight? She’s gone?”

Lisa shakes her head. “I don’t know, maybe.”

I feel all the strength in my body fade.

“Why would he do all this? Why risk so much to help her?”

“Because she’s a manipulator. All she had to do was tell him someone was trying to kill her, and he jumped to the rescue, just like he always does.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He loves her, and that blinds him. He can’t see her for who she really is.”

“He loves her?”

“Of course he does,” Lisa says. “She’s his daughter.”