Already Gone

– 26 –



I stand under the shower and let the water rinse the blood off my skin. It gathers red at my feet, then trails away toward the drain. I watch until it runs clear.

It takes a long time.

Eventually, I get out and wrap a towel around my waist. All my muscles feel weak, and my stomach is rolling. I lean against the sink until it passes, then reach up and wipe the steam from the mirror with my hand.

I stare at myself for a long time.

My nose is black and swollen. There are purple bruises on either side that spread like legs under my eyes. My nostrils are caked with dried blood, and when I try to breathe, I feel something loose rattle deep inside my head.

There’s no doubt my nose is broken.

Someone knocks at the door, and I open it.

Gabby is standing in the hall holding a pair of pants and a white T-shirt. He hands them to me. “These should fit, give them a try. When you’re ready, come out to the living room. We need to go over our plan.”

“Our plan?”

Gabby nods, then walks away.





I get dressed, then gather up my bloodstained clothes and carry them out to the living room. Everyone is gone except for Gabby who is leaning over the coffee table with a roll of tape, some gauze, and a pair of scissors.

The TV is playing the local news.

Gabby is tearing off strips of tape and lining them up along the edge of the table. When he sees me, he motions to the chair next to him and says, “Have a seat. Let me take a look at your nose.”

I hold up my bloodstained clothes. “What do you want me to do with these?”

“There’s a trash bag in the kitchen. Put them inside. We’ll worry about them later.” He pauses. “And grab that towel by the sink.”

I go into the kitchen and find the trash bag sitting on the counter. I put my clothes inside then tie the bag closed and set it in the corner. I can hear the news anchor’s voice on TV, bright and emotionless.

I grab the dishtowel by the sink then walk back to the living room and sit in the chair next to Gabby. “Are they saying anything?”

“Nothing important. It probably won’t make the news until tomorrow.” He picks up the scissors and cuts a long strip of gauze. “Lean forward a little.”

I do.

Gabby takes the towel and drapes it over my lap. Then he puts one hand behind my head and picks up a folded strip of gauze with the other. He holds the gauze over the bridge of my nose and feels along both sides of the break with his fingertips.

He doesn’t say a word.

I ask him what he’s doing, but he stays quiet.

I’m about to ask again when he squeezes my nose, hard.

The pain is blinding, and I hear something pop in the middle of my head. I make a sound deep in the back of my throat and try to pull away, but Gabby holds me in place and won’t let me move.

“Be still, goddamn it.”

My eyes are watering, and I can feel the blood running down my face and dripping onto the towel. I curse myself for not seeing this coming.

Gabby lets go of the back of my head, then reaches for one of the strips of tape on the table. He runs it across the top of the gauze and presses it tight. He uses another strip along the bottom and two more on the sides. Once they’re all in place, he sits back and examines his work.

“Looks good,” he says. “Couple months from now, no one will be able to tell it was ever broken.”

“You could’ve warned me.”

“Why, so it would’ve hurt less?”

“It’s the principle of it.”

Gabby shakes his head. “The principle.” He laughs to himself then reaches for his cigarettes on the table. He lights one and watches me through the swell of smoke.

My nose is throbbing under the bandage. I try to ignore the pain and move past it, but I can’t.

“Where did everyone go?”

Gabby takes a drag off his cigarette then reaches up and picks a piece of tobacco off his tongue. “Someone spotted the van. They found it parked down by the river.”

“Kevin?”

Gabby shakes his head. “No sign of him.”

I let some time pass, then say, “I never should’ve come to you.”

“Where else would you have gone?”

“That’s not what I mean. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved. I didn’t know who we were dealing with.”

“You still don’t,” he says. “But it doesn’t matter. I’ve always looked out for you, Jake. Always will. You know that.”

I don’t say anything.

“I’m going to lend you some clothes and a suitcase. You’ll sleep here tonight, and I’ll have someone drive you to the airport in the morning.”

“I’m not going to the airport, not anymore.”

“I need you to lie low until we know what’s happening around here. The best way to do that is to leave town.”

Gabby seems calm, but I still make an effort to keep the edge out of my voice as I speak. After everything that’s happened tonight, I know something bad is waiting just beneath the surface.

“No one saw me. The park was deserted.”

“Good,” Gabby says. “Then we can bring you back in a few days, once we’re sure. Besides, don’t you have business down there?”

I think about Lisa Bishop and say, “There was someone I wanted to talk to, but that was before. I can’t leave right now. I have to keep looking.”

“No. Too risky.”

I start to argue, but the pain in my nose stabs back into my head. Even if I wanted to argue, I don’t think I have the energy.

“Give it a few days. Go see her or don’t, I don’t care, just stay out of sight.” He takes a drag of his cigarette, then uses it to point at me. “Might be a good idea to pick up a few prepaid cell phones when you get there. I’ll give you a different number you can use to check in. Call me every day, then break the phone and throw it away.”

“What for?”

“So I can fill you in on what’s going on up here.” He watches me, frowns. “Do you understand?”

“Not really.”

“Then you’ll have to trust me.” Gabby leans forward and taps his cigarette over the ashtray. “Until I know what’s going on and who we’re dealing with, we all need to keep our heads down.” He looks at me. “Can you do that?”

I don’t want to admit it, but what he’s saying makes sense, especially after what happened tonight.

“I’ll lie low,” I say. “For now.”

“Good.” He takes another drag off the cigarette, then crushes it in the ashtray and stands up. “You’ll stay here tonight. There’s a guest room on the other side of the kitchen. Get some rest. I’ll wake you up early.”

I push myself up and start back to the guest room. I take a few steps, then look over at Gabby. “When they found the van, was there any sign of those two guys?”

“Nothing, but we’ll find them. It might not be as easy this time since they’ll be watching for us, but we’ll get them eventually. They’re out there somewhere.”

I head back to the bedroom.

They’re out there somewhere.

For some reason, this doesn’t make me feel better.





I walk into the guest room and close the door behind me. The room is warm and lit by two silver lights on either side of the bed. There is a desk against one wall and a small, three-drawer dresser with a large mirror along the other.

I sit at the foot of the bed and look at my face in the mirror. I don’t recognize my reflection, and I decide that’s not a bad thing. If I’m trying to lie low, I’ve got one hell of a disguise.

I stay there for a while, letting my mind wander until my thoughts turn black, then I stand up and get undressed. I set my clothes on top of the dresser, then pull back the sheets and slide into bed.

I think about the first time I slept under Gabby’s roof. I was twelve years old, scared to death. I remember Gabby handing me a cot and a wool blanket and telling me to set up in a room above the office. I did, and even though the air up there smelled like grease and the blanket was old and rough and scratched against my skin, I was happy to be there.

As much as Gabby terrified me, there were worse things out there for a kid. At least with him, I knew I was safe.

Now, almost fifteen years later, I wonder if much has changed. The cot and the wool blanket are gone, but as far as I can tell, that’s about it.

I reach over and shut off the lights.