Accidents Happen A Novel

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO



Apart from a few cars heading back from a night out in London, the M40 was quiet by the time Kate and Jago reached it, most people having already travelled to where they needed to be by Saturday night. The motorway stretched ahead into the black night, with just the odd glow of rear lights flitting by like fireflies.

Kate and Jago drove in silence for thirty miles. It was when they reached the hill that dipped steeply down, overlooking Chinnor and the lights of farms and villages spread for miles across the valley, that Kate realized she was looking forward to going home.

And by that, for the first time in four years, she realized with surprise that she meant Oxford.

Jago drove slowly, his arm on the armrest, watching ahead thoughtfully.

A lorry with Spanish number plates overtook them, making good use of the empty night road to deliver its goods north of London.

‘Madrid’, it said on the side.

Kate looked away, ashamed.

‘What?’ Jago said.

She moved her eyes across the valley. There was no way she could tell him what she’d done to the girls’ hair. She couldn’t believe it herself right now. ‘Nothing.’

‘Kate, are you sure? Did something happen . . .?’

‘No.’

‘Kate, listen. Don’t worry. It was a harmless prank.’

She watched the lorry disappear into the dark, its brake lights flashing back at her like dragon’s eyes. Kate rubbed at a raindrop on the outside of the window, even though she knew she couldn’t wipe it away.

She looked at Jago, his finger in his mouth thoughtfully as he drove with one hand. What would he think if she told him what she’d done?

And then she knew, she could never tell anyone.

What had come over her?

Jago turned and saw her face.

‘Kate! Cheer up! They’ll be fine. As far as they’re concerned, they just got lost from the ranger. Their English wasn’t very good – when they try to explain to people what happened, that’s probably what they’ll think happened too: that they just got lost, panicked, then freaked themselves out.’ He touched her leg. ‘Listen. This was about you, not them. Don’t worry. It’s not as if you hurt them.’

Kate looked up at the black sky. In the daytime, she knew red kites hovered over it, searching for prey, wings held aloft, menacingly.

The light caress of his finger on her leg sent an intense shiver through her.

‘But it was interesting, huh?’ Jago asked. ‘Being a predator.’ He growled when he said the word. His hand now rested on her leg, squeezed it tighter.

She kept her gaze on the dark sky, trying to ignore the effect his touch had on her. ‘I don’t know.’

The thing was, she had hurt those girls. She hadn’t stabbed them or punched them, but for the rest of their lives, they would find themselves wondering who had touched them that night. She shut her eyes, running through the implications.

They might never go out at night again alone.

They might even give up their dream of living in London.

She thought back to the intense hatred she’d felt in Highgate Woods towards those men who killed Hugo. What had she let those feelings do to her? The preyed-upon becomes predator. The bullied becomes the bully. In some ways, she was as bad as those men.

Jago turned the CD player on. American alternative folk music drifted into the car.

‘Anyway,’ Jago said, ‘I think we’re probably pushing our luck now. Let’s call it a day next weekend. One more step to finish off. And I’ll make it a fun one, I promise. No more scaring people or breaking the law.’

She drew her finger down a whole line of raindrops.

‘I can’t do something like that again, Jago. Involving other people. They looked like sweet, nice girls.’

‘Kate,’ he said, lifting away his hand from her leg, to indicate to overtake a minibus. ‘We won’t, I promise. And remember, bad things happen to nice girls, as you well know. Seriously, don’t worry about it. They’ll be fine and you’ve proved a point to yourself.’

She lifted her head. ‘Hmm, well, I don’t feel like a very nice girl tonight.’

She wanted him to put his hand back on her leg. It felt cold where he’d taken it away.

As he pulled back into the slow lane, he reached out instead and stroked the bare flesh of her arm lightly. She turned and met the long look he gave her. ‘Good,’ he murmured, smiling.

She turned away, embarrassed at the intense waves even the lightest touch or suggestion from him sent throughout her body. He continued to stroke her arm, slowly. She didn’t want him to stop, yet wondered how much longer she could bear it. Forgotten sensations drifted over her, unsettling her. Sensations she thought she would never want again with anyone but Hugo.

But more intense than she remembered.

What was happening to her?

Had she ever felt out of control like this with Hugo?

As Jago casually lengthened his caress, from her upper arm down to her elbow, Kate struggled to maintain her composure, knowing she was close to throwing away her dignity and asking a man she had only known a short time to pull off the M40 right now, and take her down a dark country lane to a layby where nobody could see them.

She shook her head, astonished. What was happening to her? What had being in the woods done to her?

For the first time Kate wondered if the person she was becoming was actually that much better than the person she was leaving behind.