A Brand New Ending

Chapter 43

Braeden



As I talked about my family to Phoenix each reveal seemed to have lifted weight off my shoulders but in the end I felt physically and emotionally drained. I didn't want to burden her mind with my tragic past but after my scene out in the backyard I knew I had to. She would eventually see the scars and the tattoo. I know she would never push me into explaining, but I owed it to her. She needed to know everything. Everything that made me the man I am today.

With her back still laid upon my chest, we remain silent for a moment, I assume both of us taking in what I had just told her. My mind races in a million different directions, wondering what she's thinking. Feeling.

"Tell me what you are thinking," I ask her.

She doesn't say anything for a moment and I fear that she is starting to break down.

"Seraph?" I ask again worried.

"I was just thinking about my dad," she says, her voice soft.

I give her a light squeeze, remembering I'm not the only person who has lost someone. Phoenix has in more ways than just death.

"He was my best friend," she starts. "My whole world crumbled when he took his last breath."

I hear her sniffle and I know she is trying not to cry again.

"Let the tears fall, baby," I say as I lean down, putting my lips on top of her head.

"I was so young and all we had was each other," she starts. "When I was born my mother took off after a few months leaving no note, she didn't even leave anything for me to remember her by. My father worked full time, but I was always his number one priority. He wasn't the best at everything but he did his best to care for me."

I hear a sigh leave her lips.

"I remember lying in my bed every night imagining my mother coming home to us, our broken family once whole again. But she never came."

My heart breaks a little.

"I remember the exact day that my whole life fell apart. My father told me he wouldn't be picking me up after school and that I was to go home with Mary, our neighbor, because he had an important appointment he had to go to. I knew something was off when he woke up that morning, something was wrong. I could just tell in his face."

I run my thumbs over her knuckles, silently encouraging her to go on.

"It was later that night he told me he was dying. I was pretty mature for my age and my father and I never lied to each other. He didn't want to sugar coat it for me."

I want to comfort her more, but I find myself frozen.

"It was the first time in my life that I truly felt alone," she starts up again. "He only had six months to live and as much as I don’t want to admit it, they were the best of my life. My father was very reserved but he took this time to spend even more time with me than he already did. Every day he would pick me up from school and we would go do something, whether it was simple like getting ice cream or taking me to the zoo for the afternoon."

I could hear the smile in her words.

"But things were incredibly different. After a few months, the roles reversed and I became the parent. My father was strong but the disease was stronger. He lost a lot of weight and, much like your mother, he was a hollow form of what he once was. He couldn't walk much anymore due to the excruciating back pain. "

"You and him were all alone?" I ask.

"No, there were neighbors that came around a lot and dropped off food and helped me clean but, to be honest, I enjoyed it most when it was just me and him," she explains.

Things fall silent again and I wonder if she is done.

"And then, just after four months, the disease over took his body and he spent the rest of his life in a hospital bed, which, thankfully, was only a few days."

She lets out a sigh.

"I spent every waking moment with him in that hospital room. We ate every meal together and watched our favorite shows. And then I knew that our time together was dwindling at a rapid pace by the look on doctors and nurses faces every time they would look at him. At the end of the third day he passed away."

I can hear her sobbing, her chest heaving up and down. Putting my arms around her, I drag her body up to mine and I cradle her in my arms like a child, her face nuzzled into my neck. I don't say anything and just let the tears fall, knowing like me that this has been bottled up for quite some time. After about five minutes, she pulls back and looks at me, her eyes puffy and blood shot.

"And if my life couldn't have gotten any worse, Elaina showed up at the hospital the next day along with a social worker and I was informed since she was my mother that I would be handed over to her."

I cringe at the word handed, it was so…unloving.

"She never wanted me," she continues. "She thought she had gotten away from me when she left my father. She constantly reminded me that I was a burden to her. Before I was even born I had ruined her life."

How could anyone not want her? Not love her and see the wonderful human being that I see?

"And then Carl came into the picture," she says quietly.

My whole body goes rigid, the mere sound of his name sending anger through my body.

"Phoenix, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"We're showing our skeletons, right?" she asks me.

All I do is nod slightly.

"I was fifteen when Carl started abusing me," she says slowly. "I remember exactly how it started."

She points to one scar on her arm, it the most faded, but still very apparent. It was round and raised a little bit, but I knew exactly what it is, it fit the size and shape perfectly.

"He burned you with a f*cking car cigarette lighter?" I ask in disbelief, my heart breaking all over again.

She nods.

"The three of us were out grocery shopping, which I was dragged to because Elaina was all about appearances. I didn't realize how close the car next to us was and I bumped the door into it."

She runs her finger over the raised skin.

"I knew it was coming," she says, her voice dripping with pain. "That was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. Well, up until that point."

My knuckles clench, my desire to have this man dead increasing by the second.

"But then it just became the normal for me. It was everyday life."

"Why didn't you try to escape? Why didn't you tell someone?" I ask, not knowing if that was a fair question.

She shrugs.

"I was scared," she admits. "I knew that if he ever caught me he would give me the worst beating of my life. He wouldn't kill me because that would be too nice. He would beat me to the edge of my life but never let me slip off it."

I can feel tears start to well up, something that hasn't happened to me since my mother's death.

"But I did get away once." She smiles.

I don't have to ask to know what incident she is talking about.

"It was the first time I had control of my own life. No one knew I was there except the cars zipping by but they didn't even care enough to stop. I was scared when I climbed up on the railing but there was an eerie sense of calm flowing through me. Peace was within my grasp."

A shiver runs through my spine, imagining Phoenix's body falling over the rail, her eyes closed and peaceful.

"But even then I wasn't granted it. The one decision I made for myself and it didn't work."

I understand her frustration for a moment, her need for the pain to stop.

"But I guess everything does happen for a reason," she says, a small smirk coming across her face. "I can't regret that now."

Wrapping my arms around her again, I hold her tightly.

"I would have found you anyways, Seraph," I say into her ear. "We were meant for each other. You belong to me and you always will."

Shimmying us both so that we are both laying on the bed, we face each other, the heaviness of both our words weighing down on us. Once she calms down I lean forward putting my lips in hers, my fingers running through her hair, finding the back of her head.

We kiss in the darkness of her room and I realize this is where we both belong. She is my home now. I would die for her. After a few minutes she pulls back, her body shifting so that it is on top of mine. I can feel her hot center on me and I try not to think about it as she leans down and kisses my chest. Leaning up I wrap my arms around hers, planting kisses on her neck, my fingers going underneath her shirt in the back. I hear a moan escape her lips.

"Yes," she breathes out.

I trail my fingers up the length of her back, feeling raised skin every so often. We both start to breathe hard and I pull back from her, our eyes meeting.

"Braeden, I want to…" she starts to say.

My heart rate spikes.

"I don't know if I can, Seraph," I admit. "It's going to hurt, I don't know if I can live with that."

"Please?" she begs, her voice desperate. "I know that you would never hurt me intentionally. For the first time in my life I don't feel alone and scared. I need you, Braeden."

I contemplate it for a moment but I know I could never deny her. Reaching up I lift up her shirt and slide it off, her creamy skin exposed. I place my lips on her chest while I reach around slowly and unhook her bra with one hand, her beautiful breasts coming into view.

"You are beautiful, Seraph," I say into her skin.

Shifting my body so that she is now underneath me I continue to kiss, my tongue landing on her breasts, both of them standing at attention to me. When I encircle my lips around one peak I hear another moan leave her throat, her way of telling me it's OK. I continue down her torso until I come to the button on her jeans. I stop and look up at her, silently asking her if I may continue. She gives me a nod. With shaky hands I reach for it, sliding the zipper down slowly. At this point I am rock hard as much as I don't want it to. I want this to be all about her, about the pleasure she deserves.

As I get her jeans off I pull myself off the bed. Phoenix's eyes turn to worry.

"It's OK, baby, I'm not going anywhere," I explain.

I start to undo my button and zipper, my pants falling down to the floor. Phoenix's eyes find it immediately, her eyes widening. Reaching down to the floor I pick up my t-shirt and walk over to the bed.

"Lift your hips, baby," I say softly.

She does as she is told and I slide my shirt underneath her hips before she lowers back down. I take a deep breath, my whole body buzzing. I had slept with a few women, but none of them meant this much to me. Knowing that I will cause her pain only makes it worse. Sliding my underwear off I keep them in my hand as I climb back on the bed, hooking the string of her underwear in my finger tips and slowly slide it down.

Placing one finger in between the folds of her lips I can feel her wetness seep around my fingers and I twitch with sensation. I gently slide one inside her, her hips bucking while I do. A loud moan escapes her lips and I pray to god that my father isn't home at the moment. After I pump a few more times I pull out, Phoenix's eyes still locked on mine.

"Are you ready?" I say through shaky breath.

He bites her lip and then nods. Grabbing myself with my hand, I line myself up and slowly run the tip of it through her slit, before pushing inside her slowly. I hear her gasp and I withdraw a little.

"No," she says through gritted teeth. "It's OK."

I resume to pushing slowly as I watch her fingers grip the sheets beside her. After a few more thrusts I am all the way in, all the pain leaving her face, a small smile coming across her face. Just when I thought I couldn't love her more she lets me worship her body, letting me take something so important to every woman. The rest of it was a blur but after some time we both reach our climax, mine coming into my boxers. Watching Phoenix's orgasm come from my touch is my new favorite vision and I know it will be replayed in my mind for days to come. I go to slide off of her but she stops me, our eyes interlocking.

"I love you, Braeden," she says softly, a blush creeping across her face.

At that moment my heart explodes into a million pieces.

"I love you, too, Phoenix," I respond. "I think I have since the moment I first saw you."