A Brand New Ending

Chapter 42

Phoenix



"I don't know how much time had passed, but I remember that being one of the best days of my life," he says, his voice cracking. "I remember laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes. Thomas was always so supportive of me and would always be there for me to practice. He was of course always naturally good."

I see a small smirk come across his face and then it quickly disappears.

"And then all I heard was screeching of breaks and it was all over."

I begin to feel sick.

"They said it was a drunk driver," he says quietly. "I don't remember much but they told me the car hit him first and that he was dead upon impact."

I squeeze his hand even harder as I feel his pain.

"But that means he didn't suffer, that's good right?" I say, needing to comfort him somehow.

"I guess so," he admits. "And then the car struck me."

Tears start to well up in my eyes but I try hard for him to not to let them fall.

"By the time it hit me they weren't going as fast but I apparently got dragged through shards of broken glass."

I cringe. Braeden lets go of my hand and I worry that our conversation is over. But instead his hands go to the bottom of his shirt and he lifts up, exposing his torso. I shimmy myself on the bed a little trying to not be uncomfortable with a half-naked man in my bed. It's not the time for that.

Braeden turns his body a little and I gasp. Straight down the length of his entire back is a large scar, the skin raised and slightly pink. I reach out and touch it, making Braeden jumping a little.

"Did it hurt?" I ask, knowing it's a stupid question.

"I don't really remember most of it," he admits. "One minute I was laughing on the street with my brother and the next I was in a hospital bed alone."

My eyes fall upon a scripture tattooed into his skin, the words are broken up by the line of the scar.

"Death captures the dying, but sorrow steals from those left behind," I read out loud.

There are also two birds in midflight adorning it.

There is a moment of silence between us. "And after his death, the life I always knew crumbled in more ways than I could ever have imagined. Not only did I lose a brother on that day, little did I know I was starting to slowly lose my mother as well."

He turns back around and is now facing me.

"I'm so sorry, Braeden," I say as a betraying tear escapes, flowing down my cheek.

Unfortunately, I know that this nightmarish story isn't over.

"Every day since his death, the days drug on, days turning into weeks, weeks turning into months. I remember being on my own a lot. My mother started to lose all interest in everything and severe depression crippled her. I couldn't even make myself go back into our room that we had shared. From the night of his death, I stayed in the guest bedroom. My whole family fell apart that day."

I run my thumb over the top of his hand.

"My father did what he could for me, but between the hospitals and my mother's depression there was no time for me. Sometimes I would come home and she would just be staring out the front window. She was a ghost with nothing of my loving mother left inside that shell."

"She still loved you, Braeden, you have to know that," I assure him.

He shrugs. "Is it wrong that I was mad at her?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No," I admit. "She left you alone when you needed her the most. But don't blame her. Being crippled by depression is something I hope for no one to experience. You feel like you can't control anything. Like the only way out is death."

He gives me a worried look and reaches up and brushes a finger down my cheek.

"It breaks my heart when you speak like that, Seraph," he whispers.

"But it was my life," I explain. "Like you want to forget how much pain your mother and brother's death have caused you, I do as well, but it will never happen for me."

Putting my forearms out in front of us so that the scars are on my arms are visible to both.

"As long as we bear these scars we will always be reminded."

He reaches out and runs his fingers along them, then bends down and puts his lips gently to each. He shifts again and I see the bright red slash across the top of his shoulder. I reach out and touch it.

"And now you bear a new scar because of me," I utter with a tone of disappointment. He looks over his shoulder at it.

"I could never regret my decision that got me that one, Phoenix," he says, the mention of my name sending shivers down my spine.

He takes his hand in mine and silently tells me to come over and I settle myself in between his legs, my back to his chest.

"How did she die?" I ask nervously.

I feel his chest rise and fall more quickly.

"She hung herself," he says into my ear. "In the shed."

Fear runs through my body and I can't hold back the stream of tears that leave my eyes. Now I know exactly why he panicked when he found me.

"Braeden, I'm so…" I start to say before he cuts me off.

"Shhh, Seraph," he says while running his fingers through my hair. "You had no way of knowing."

I quiet myself down, the sound of my small sniffles filling the room.

"And then after that it was just my dad and I," he explains. "My father spent a lot of time blaming himself that he couldn't save her. I know that he loved her and tried everything he could but she just wouldn't hold on enough to try. We both loved her so much but at some point we were almost relieved. Does that sound too selfish?"

"Not at all," I admit. "You both had watched her suffer for so long."

Putting the pieces together from what Braeden had previously told me, three years had passed between the death of his brother and his mother.

"You just wanted her to be at peace right?" I ask.

"Yes," he breathes out.

"She is, Braeden," I assure him as I look down at our hands interlocking. "She got the peace that she always wanted."