CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Chloe
The diamond sparkled in the moonlight. The wind blew into the alcove of the balcony, causing my freshly washed and dyed hair to whip around my neck. I shivered and wrapped the dressing gown tighter around me, and then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Everything felt normal.
The same.
Only it wasn’t.
I could be dying, and Blake—he had no idea. I have cancer. The words played in my head, but they sounded wrong. I think I might have cancer. That sounded better but not great. Not reassuring. Not the way it should be. He had the right to know, especially now. But I could barely breathe at the thought of how it would hurt him. A bitter laugh escaped, and I tried to reason with myself. He knew it could happen. It was not my fault.
Before I had a chance to find the right words, his voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “What are you doing out here?” He slid the balcony door closed behind him and took a seat opposite me. “So?” he asked, reaching out for my arm to pull me to him.
I pulled away, wanting to be face-to-face so I could see his reaction when I told him the truth.
He sensed my mood and leaned in closer, his elbows resting on his knees. His eyes locked with mine. “What’s going on, babe?”
“Are you sure you want to do this, Blake?”
He let out a bitter laugh and leaned back in his chair. “Wow. One night, and you’ve already changed your mind.”
“I haven’t changed my mind, but I’m giving you a chance to change yours.”
“I don’t want to change my mind, Chloe. What’s this about?”
“I just want to make sure that you’re sure. That you know about—”
“The cancer? Yes, I know about it. And I still wanna marry you, so what’s your next excuse?” He skimmed over the subject as if it didn’t mean anything.
“It’s not an excuse. It’s a reality.”
“One that I already knew before I fell in love with you, before I asked you to marry me. Chloe . . .” He sighed and leaned forward again. “What’s really going on here?”
I sucked in a breath and let the words leave me. “I could have cancer, Blake.”
“Like I said, I already knew that. It doesn’t—”
“No, Blake. I mean now. I could have cancer now.”
Blake
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. And even though they were clear, formed, premeditated, I still found myself asking, “What?”
She nodded slowly. “If you want to take it back, now’s your chance.”
I got up and started pacing, too edgy to stay in my seat. A million questions passed through my mind. She stood behind me and placed her hand on my back. “Blake?”
I flinched.
I fucking flinched.
I didn’t mean to—because I knew she’d take it as a rejection.
Her sob was enough to make me turn around. She was halfway to the door before I caught her arm. “I’m sorry.” I pulled her into me, holding her close. “I’m just trying to process everything, okay? I’m not . . . I’m not taking anything back, Chloe. I promise that’s not what this is about. I just need time. You need to talk me through this.” I pulled back and tilted her head up to look at me. “I’m just scared. And I don’t want to be. I’m supposed to be the strong one—the one to hold you up. And I’m crumbling because I’m so fucking scared of what you’re saying right now.”
“I’m scared, too,” she whispered.