The cold sank into my bones despite the warm clothes designed to protect me from it. After spending days in the humid warmth of the tunnels, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to tolerate the cold again in the same way. I’d spent my entire life being well-acquainted with the winter and never having enough warmth, but there was something about it now that reached inside me much more easily, as if that cold hollow at my center called to the wind itself.
We’d been walking all day, first in the labyrinth of narrow tunnels that extended through the entirety of the Hollow Mountains. They weren’t the same as the tunnels within the Resistance camp itself, but far smaller and more suffocating. Only wide enough for us to walk in a single-file line, the walls pressed in on us as we passed through. I’d taken in a deep, shuddering breath of frosty air the moment we’d emerged into the sun, more grateful than I could explain for the space at my sides and above my head.
We’d emerged on the other side of the Hollows from where Caelum and I had traveled, the deep chasm of the strait between the Main Continent and the Isle of Ruin at our side. The pathway between the mountain range and the rapidly flowing body of water that stretched on and on left just enough space for us to walk comfortably, without fear of slipping on the snow-covered ground. It was only a dusting, the first hint of the coming cold season that lay atop the grass, but it was enough that we would leave footprints for any who found themselves on the mostly abandoned side of the Hollows.
Caelum walked ahead of me with some of Melian’s personal team, discussing strategy about infiltrating the city. I followed behind at a slower pace with Melian at my side, trying not to walk funny from the unfamiliar feeling of pants covering my legs.
“There’s something off about this Caelum of yours,” she said, knocking into my shoulder with hers as the front row of men walked further ahead. There were still guards of Melian’s at our back, protecting their leader from all threats as the others led Caelum away from whatever she needed to say to me. As if they’d prepared for the conversation she knew we needed to have.
In the time since coming to the Resistance, I’d had a few moments where I’d bonded with Melian despite Caelum’s protests. She was blunt to a fault, but I found I appreciated the fact that she didn’t play games. I always knew where she stood on an issue, for better or worse, and while I didn’t always agree with her stance, I could respect it was one she’d taken for the safety of everyone she was responsible for.
“I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fact that you know we’ve been intimate, and that I’ve not taken any of your men to my bed, despite your warnings about getting too attached,” I said, turning a saccharine smile her way.
She snorted, huffing back a laugh as she lifted a hand and flicked me on the nose. “Such a smart tongue. It will get you into trouble one of these days.”
“It already has,” I laughed.
“But I am serious, Estrella. I don’t trust him, and I’m not certain you should either,” she said pointedly, watching as Caelum guided one of her men through a move he used often in their sparring sessions, continuing to walk as he did it with a coordination I envied.
“You don’t have to, because I do. He sacrificed himself to save me multiple times. How could I not trust him after that?” I asked.
“Have you ever known a man who could single handedly destroy a cave beast? You didn’t see the carnage after that fight, but I did. There was nothing left, Estrella. He reduced the creature to strips of meat not even fit for a stew,” she argued.
A cool wind kissed my cheeks as we strolled through a break in the tree line. We wouldn’t arrive in Calfalls until the next day, and the prospect of enduring another one of her lectures sounded more exhausting than trekking through Nothrek itself.
“His Viniculum protected him, and he’s gifted with a sword. Those are hardly crimes, and you don’t seem hesitant to use them to your advantage when it suits you. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be out here accompanying you to Calfalls,” I said, glancing over at her. “If you don’t trust him so much, why did you bring us?”
“Better to keep an eye on him myself than leave him with my people,” she said, kicking the snow with her boots as she walked. “If anyone should suffer the consequences of trusting the wrong man and allowing him into our midst, it should be the ones who made the choice in the first place. It should be you and I.”
I reached out, gathering a clump of snow off the stone side of the mountain. It melted against the fabric of the gloves Melian had lent me, the unique flakes disappearing quickly. “What is it that you think he’s going to do exactly? Kill me? He’s had hundreds of opportunities. Give me to the Mist Guard? He could have easily done that before we arrived at the mountains. There is no other purpose or ulterior motive. He just wants to be with me. Is that really so hard to believe?” I asked, letting a rare moment of vulnerability shine through.
Her face softened for a moment of understanding as she shook her head. “It isn’t hard to believe at all that he would want to be with you. That isn’t what drives my concern. I only worry that you’re so blinded by your feelings for him you aren’t thinking clearly. I can’t help but think you’re keeping things from me to protect him,” she said, reminding me of the information that I had, actually, kept from her. Caelum had said he’d escaped the Wild Hunt because of their desire to find me. Whether or not that was true, I couldn’t say, but surely nothing good would come of admitting it to her.
She would either condemn him for doing the impossible or kick us out because of the potential danger I posed to them.
“What could I possibly be keeping from you? I don’t understand what you think there is to know about him that matters,” I said, my exasperation leaking through my voice. Whatever secrets he kept about his twisted childhood aside, what could possibly be important enough that Melian thought it meant she couldn’t trust him.
“Then tell me about him,” she said, pursing her lips as she pierced me with an intense stare. “What town was his home before the Veil fell? What’s his family name?”
I paused, heat tinting my cheeks red when I couldn’t answer either of those questions. “He’s the bastard son of a member of the nobility,” I said, providing the only information I had.
“What line of nobility?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She saw the weakness she’d exploited, realizing how little I truly knew of the man I’d taken as my lover. “You don’t know even that?”
“He doesn’t like to talk about his family,” I said, rubbing a hand over my face. That much was true. I’d seen the melancholy on his face when I tried to pry into his life with his family.
“He is feeding you vague bits of information to keep you satisfied, without ever providing anything of use for identifying him. If that doesn’t tell you there’s something off about him, then I don’t know what will,” she said.
“What? What could possibly be so wrong with him that we need to worry about our safety? He’s not Fae,” I snapped.