My thoughts froze as I blinked up at him, turning his words over in his head. The Wild Hunt had seemed interested in my Mark, as had the Mist Guard back in Mistfell. “I don’t know,” I mumbled, my mouth feeling filled with sand with the dryness in my throat.
Being hunted was bad enough, believing I was just one of the masses the Wild Hunt needed to collect. The idea of being singled out was inconceivable.
I shook my head slightly, waiting for him to push the questions, but he only nodded as if he understood that I couldn’t give him answers. I knew nothing about why they had chosen to go after me while abandoning him. What I did know was that I would never be able to fight them off on my own. I hadn’t fared well the first time, but Caelum had held his own. He’d have lost eventually, if they hadn’t given up, but I’d need someone at my side to help me fight if and when the time came again.
I needed him far more than he needed me. The pang of guilt within me was an echo of the knowledge that I’d probably get him killed, just as I had Brann. “What do we do now?” I asked, feeling awkward in the face of the attitude I’d given him at the bottom of the cliff. I should have been more appreciative of the fact that he’d come to save me, but something about him just brought out my impulsiveness.
“We stick together. Head inland toward The Hollows. We’ll follow those as far as we can, and eventually we should make our way to the Mountains at Rochpar,” he explained.
“That’s on the other side of the Kingdom,” I protested, trying not to think about how many weeks a journey like that would take on foot.
“That’s the point. The more distance we put between us and the Fae, the better it will be for both of us,” he said, his voice dejected as he said the words. “But first, we both need a change of dry clothes.”
“Okay,” I said, fighting back the nagging voice in my head that I shouldn’t leave this cliff alive. Brann’s words rang in my memory, his urgency that the Fae never take me. He’d been so desperate that he’d tried to kill me himself, nearly plunging a dagger into my heart.
I wished we’d had more time, more chances for him to open up about what he knew about what waited for me beyond the Veil.
“Promise me, Estrella,” Caelum said, stepping closer to me. Those dark, glittering eyes stared down at me intently, his body tilting forward over me until his forehead touched mine and he sighed contentedly.
“Promise you what?” I asked, swallowing back the nerves I felt around him. Something about him put me on edge, as if he could hear my thoughts and knew just when I was doubting I was making the right choice by going with him.
“Promise me we’ll stay together. Everything will be okay, and we’ll find a safe place to settle. But we have to do it together; do you understand?” he asked, that same compulsion in his voice that I’d felt with Brann’s.
I nodded, sealing my fate with three little words, while utterly failing to understand their impact. “I swear it.”
15
I trailed behind Caelum as he led the way through the woods, walking with the calm assurance of a man who knew how to navigate in a place where everything looked the same. I suspected we might be heading in the direction we’d come the night before, back toward the village with the barn that had changed everything and sent us spiraling down a path that I regretted with every breath.
Every so often, Caelum tried to interject and start a conversation up, but I think he grew tired of receiving one word answers from me. He studied me with the wariness of a man who thought I might just lie down in the middle of the forest and sleep for an eternity, and in my weaker moments that was exactly what I felt like doing.
“He wouldn’t want you to give up,” he said finally, acknowledging what we both knew kept me quiet. My grief consumed me, the knowledge that I’d been responsible for Brann’s death sitting heavy on my shoulders.
“You know nothing of my brother,” I snapped, my vision filling with the memory of Brann’s remorse as he raised the dagger high and prepared to sink it into my heart. I didn’t know what Caelum had seen on the cliff before he’d intervened, didn’t know if Brann’s attempt on my life was shared knowledge between us, but even I understood that my brother had been keeping secrets from me.
“I know that if I were fortunate enough to have a sister, I would protect her with everything I had to give. Even if that meant losing my life so that she could continue on. You can’t quit now, not when he gave his life for you,” Caelum said, his voice gentle despite the harsh words. It was as if he knew he needed to temper them with something soft, that my breaking point loomed just out of reach.
“And what am I supposed to do if what he wanted was for me to die?” I asked before I could think better of it. I regretted the words as soon as they’d left my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut as I berated myself for my stupidity.
If I needed Caelum, adding more to the possibility of there being something fundamentally wrong with me was probably the stupidest choice I could make.
“What?” Caelum asked, his voice nearly silent as his steps stopped altogether. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, his jaw tightening as those dark eyes glared down at me. “What do you mean he wanted you to die?”
I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, turning away from him and his blinding intensity as I continued in the direction we’d been walking only a moment before. “Death was preferable to being taken. That’s all I meant.” I brushed off my near admission, hoping he wouldn’t read further into something that really could be so simple.
“Do not lie to me, Estrella,” he said, grasping my forearm and spinning me around to face him once again. He invaded my space, his stomach so close to my chest that a deep breath would force us to touch. The moment would have felt intimate if it hadn’t been for the hatred blazing in his eyes. “That is the one thing I will not tolerate from you. If you want to keep your secrets, then fine. Keep them, but at least give me the respect of not looking me in the eye and tainting that pretty mouth with ugly lies.”
“Fine,” I grumbled, snapping my mouth closed as soon as I’d clipped out that one word. If he didn’t want me to lie, then I wouldn’t lie. I’d just keep my Gods-damned secrets to myself.
Caelum chuckled, the rage fading off his face with an odd sort of rumble from his chest. “Oh, Little One. I am going to enjoy unraveling every part of you slowly,” he murmured, lifting one of his calloused hands to brush a lock of hair back from my face. His skin touched mine gently as his finger curved over my cheek and down the line of my jaw, stopping to grip my chin for a moment before he released me.
“You just said I could keep my secrets,” I said, my voice cracking as his smile washed over me. His voice was the greatest sin, wrapping around the words as if they were a sensual promise.