Vain

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

 

 

 

 

 

I tossed an extra two dollars on the counter as we left the restaurant and the woman waved at us emphatically in appreciation. Ian and I walked silently toward his jeep, both pondering, I guessed, about the bombshells we’d just laid on one another. It was the first time we had ever been vulnerable to one another and it felt overwhelmingly powerful.

 

As we walked, I suddenly felt a whoosh of air as Ian pulled me toward him violently just in time for me to avoid the bicyclist who’d lost control and was barreling toward us. Ian grabbed me by the waist, swinging me away and rushing me back onto the sidewalk and against the outer facade of the restaurant we’d just been inside of. As he pressed me against him, that same flush-inducing heat creeped up my neck and face and one of his hands traveled to the back of my neck while the other rested on my hip. My heart beat into my throat but not from the narrowly missed collision. I was losing control of my reaction and that had never happened to me. I was always methodically in command of the way I let a boy affect me and had their reactions to me checked as well. Always in control. Proximity to Ian Aberdeen was my kryptonite.

 

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

 

Far from it, I wanted to say, gazing into his breathtaking face. “I’m fine, thank you,” I said quietly instead, afraid of blemishing the moment.

 

We were walking a razor’s edge and my blood pulsed dangerously in my veins, pooling at the skin where his hands rested, heating me up from the inside. He backed away slowly, but the muscles in his arms bunched as he forced his hands to leave my body. I felt alone too quickly, but there was nothing I could do. In my past life, I would have dragged him back to me, but I was no longer that Sophie so I followed his very delicate lead.

 

We hurried to the jeep and he opened the door for me before rounding the front and settling in himself. He started the engine, but I grabbed his arm before he could put it in gear.

 

“Wait,” I told him.

 

“Yes?” he asked, breathing unusually hard and whipping his head my direction.

 

“I should call Pemmy for an update.”

 

“Oh,” he began before clearing his throat and facing the windshield, “of course.”

 

My heart beat rapidly at his obvious disappointment. I watched him for a second as I pretended to dial Pemmy’s number. Kiss me then, I kept ordering him silently, but he never obeyed. Instead, he gripped the steering wheel with such ferocity I believed he might bend it. I dialed Pembrook in earnest and got him on the second ring.

 

“Sophie!?” I heard on the other line.

 

“Pemmy! Yes, it’s Sophie! We charged the phone, so it’s got a full battery. If I use it sparingly, I think it could last a few days. Do you have any news?”

 

“Good...hear...the doctor...I’ve arranged a plane,” he said, breaking in clearly. “They should be in Kampala in forty-eight hours with everything you need. I could only get clearance for medical supplies, Sophie, so let Karina know I couldn’t include food or clothing this drop. I’ve arranged for armed escorts...delivery to Masego.”

 

He broke out at this point and we lost connection. I tried again with no luck. I turned the sat phone off and tucked it into its canvas carrying bag before looking Dingane’s direction.

 

“Did you hear him?” I asked.

 

He nodded. “Forty-eight hours,” he spoke solemnly. “We’ll have to quarantine in three sections. Confirmed cases, suspected cases and children showing no signs of illness.”

 

“What are the odds we can keep most of them clean?” I asked.

 

“I’ve no idea.” Ian turned to me. “It’ll be you and me with the sickest children.”

 

“We don’t even know if any of them will be ill, Ian.”

 

His face softened. “Sophie, that’s an inevitability.”

 

Ian put the jeep in gear and we sped off in the direction of Masego and into a pinkening sky. The sun would be leaving us soon, making me nervous for some reason I didn’t know.

 

An hour after we’d left Jinja, the tension in the truck was palpable. So many emotions swirled around us and I wanted so badly for Ian to pull over and cut that tension with his mouth. I stared out my window, my elbow resting outside the window. I felt strands of hair whipping against my face. My braids had started to fall out. I checked the mirror to see if it needed to be let down or if I could just tuck in the strays. It was a mess.

 

I swallowed knowing the simple act of releasing my braids was more intimate a moment than I’d experienced in even my most vulnerable moments with other men. I looked over at him and brought my hand slowly to my left braid sliding the tie off painfully slowly. I wanted him to notice.

 

Ian’s eyes flitted my direction, his breathing grew deeper and deeper, and I could feel the heat of his gaze pool in the pit of my stomach. I dropped the band in the seat next to me before lifting my hand to release the braid but Ian’s warm, callused hand stopped mine. He slowed the truck a bit before threading his fingers over the top of my belt and sliding me closer to him. My eyes lidded and my breath rushed out of me. He turned me to face him and with his free hand, he undid each plait much like he’d done during the lesson. When he was done, he slowly lifted his fingers and cupped the side of my face, before turning his head toward me. I couldn’t stop myself from placing my hand on his forearm and closing my eyes, reveling in his scorching touch. I took three steadying breaths and tried desperately not to melt into him.

 

I opened my eyes to look on him, but he glanced back to the road, narrowing his eyes slightly.

 

“No,” he whispered as a body of light unexpectedly shone brightly into the cab. He whipped my body down and covered my head with his chest.

 

I was beyond shaken as he veered the jeep into a sharp turn, coming to an abrupt stop perpendicular to the road we were traveling.

 

Before I had a chance to react, he was shoving me out the passenger side door ordering me to keep my head down. Adrenaline leaked into my limbs and I obeyed without hesitation. With stealth-like speed I didn’t think human, Ian slid out, tossing open the glove box and removing his revolver, cocking it and handing it to me without so much as a word before settling next to me. He sidled over to the back seat door and threw it open, leaning in to retrieve his AK just as the first bullet came whizzing over the top of the jeep. My heart froze in my throat and I ducked farther down, tucking myself against the side of my door. Ian shimmied out and slammed the door shut.

 

“Shit,” I heard him say as he steadily unfolded the stock and clicked the magazine in place. “Keep your head down, Soph,” he said, sliding to my other side and bracing his gun on the hood of the jeep.

 

Immediately, gunfire rang throughout the quiet night and my own revolver shook in my hands. Ian returned fire. After a minute, but what felt like an hour, I calmed myself down enough to grip my gun without trembling. I adjusted my body to set next to Ian’s.

 

“Don’t even think about it,” Ian said coolly to the night in front of him before sending a spray of bullets our assailer’s direction.

 

“I have to help you.”

 

“No, you only fire their direction if they’re upon us, Soph.”

 

Another round of bullets screamed our direction, shattering the only closed back passenger window and hurtling above our heads. Ian crouched down long enough to meet my eyes and a million promises transferred in that brief moment. He tore his gaze from mine and raised himself abruptly, repositioning his gun before firing their direction.

 

“Hand me one of those magazines?”

 

It was dark but the headlights of our attackers’ vehicle lit through the underbelly of our jeep and I spotted one of the magazines he asked for. I picked it up and handed it to him. He dropped the hot, used magazine to the ground and replaced it so quickly I barely registered it. He fired back within seconds.

 

“Who are they?” I asked.

 

“Thieves.”

 

“With automatic weapons?” I asked in disbelief.

 

“Yes.”

 

Ian unleashed an ungodly amount of bullets their way and they answered in kind. I covered my ears as best I could and tried so very hard to keep the tea down. Despite every attempt, I could not stop my body from trembling.

 

And just as quickly as it had started, it seemed to end. I heard doors slamming and their engine roaring to life, then their headlights disappeared. Ian hesitantly stood and I followed suit, sidling next to him and gripping his shirt in one of my hands. He tucked me behind him as we watched the attackers turn away from our jeep and go the other direction.

 

I could feel my blood returning to my extremities and they felt heavy, but it was short-lived when the men turned suddenly and came barreling our direction, firing bullets all the way.

 

Ian turned us into the side of the jeep and pushed us to the back before landing on top of me and burying my head into his chest. I could hear the attackers shattering the windshield with bullets before speeding off into the night. We laid like that for several minutes before he would let me raise my head. As soon as I raised it, he hugged me like we were dying. I gripped his back, desperate to be as close to him as possible, burying my face in his neck. It took a good fifteen minutes for our breathing to steady, but he still held me more tightly than I’d ever been held in my life.

 

He suddenly remembered himself and jumped up into a sitting position, searching my face and body, running his hands where his eyes roamed, checking for injuries and warming me up from the inside.

 

“Are you okay?” he finally asked.

 

I sat up and took in his own body. “I’m fine. And you?”

 

“Not a scratch,” he said with a slightly shaky smirk, making my eyes burn in relief.

 

He grabbed me and hugged me to him again. “God, Soph,” he breathed into my hair. “I was so worried.”

 

That’s when I noticed his body had finally accepted it was over and he began to shiver against mine as the adrenaline left him. He pulled me away and ran his hands across my face and through my hair, down my neck and rested them on my shoulders a moment before bringing my face back into his neck. We sat there in the dirt, holding each other, molding our bodies together as closely as we could get them, fear draining from every pore.

 

I couldn’t believe how incredible he had been during the attack. I had never seen a man move like Ian, nor had I seen one so quick on his feet and easy to protect. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my entire life. It all came so naturally to him, I doubt he even thought twice about each action. He was calculated and aware and amazingly hot.

 

My hands laid flat against the hard muscles in his back, still strained and warm from the danger we’d just endured. His t-shirt clung to him and I found myself running my hands up the ridges of muscles to his shoulders just to feel them before wrapping my arms around his neck.

 

He held me tighter when I encircled my arms. “The windshield is done,” he breathed into my throat, bringing me back to reality.

 

I pulled my face back and ran my hands across his face. “Will we be able to drive?”

 

He followed my lead and ran his hands through my hair. “We’ll have to cover our faces the best we can, the dirt will be overwhelming, but, yeah, we’re only about an hour away from Masego.”

 

A small tear fell down my face. “We almost died, Ian.”

 

He wrapped his arms around my frame and brought my head to his chest. “We’re alive.”

 

“But...”

 

“Shhhh,” he spoke into my hair, “I told you I’d protect you, didn’t I?”

 

“You did,” I confirmed into his shirt.

 

“I would never let anything happen to you, Soph.”

 

Clarity came to me in that second because I believed him.

 

“Thank you,” I whispered, bringing my face near his. “It’s not enough, but I have to say it. Thank you for saving my life.”

 

“It was my absolute pleasure.”

 

I giggled despite myself. “So polite.”

 

“Trust me, Soph, I am trying really hard to be polite right now.”

 

My brows furrowed. “Why?”

 

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “You’re, uh, you’re sitting on my lap.”

 

“Oh.” I blushed. Actually blushed! Sophie Price, who hadn’t blushed since she was a schoolgirl, felt embarrassed!

 

I scurried off his lap and he stood, offering his hand to help me up. He reached into his glove compartment again and pulled out a flashlight, lighting up our small area with a click. We examined the damage. Since most of the windows were down except one of the back passenger windows, none shattered but that one and the windshield. There were bullet holes riddling the sides of the jeep but when Ian lifted the hood, the engine appeared to be unscathed.

 

“Thank God,” he breathed.

 

“Agreed.”

 

Ian rounded the side of the jeep and picked up his guns, placing them back in the glove box and the back of the vehicle. He grabbed an old t-shirt in the backseat and effortlessly ripped it in two.

 

“Here,” he said, handing me one half of the shirt, “tie this ’round your mouth and nose.”

 

I grabbed it and nodded. Following his lead, I wrapped it around my face and cinched it as tightly as I could behind my head.

 

“We look like we’re about to rob a bank,” I told him.

 

He chuckled and the corners of his eyes creased with the smile I so rarely earned. It was a shame I couldn’t see it for myself. He sighed loudly and opened my door for me. I hopped up and buckled myself in.

 

The drive to Masego was terrible, dirt flew in so badly it created a thick coating on our skin and clothing but we could breathe at least, despite how difficult it made it to see. It took twice the amount of time to get home because Ian had to drive slowly enough that rocks and debris couldn’t harm us too badly.

 

It was after eleven when we got home, so no one was there to let us in. I got out with Ian this time and helped him open and close the gates.

 

“I don’t want to scare Karina with the sight of this truck, so I’m going to park it where it’s semi-hidden.”

 

“She’s going to see it anyway,” I mused.

 

“Yeah, but hopefully she’ll see me first and it’ll give me a chance to explain.”

 

“Ah, I see. Should we go ahead and wake them up?”

 

“I don’t see the point. The plane won’t be here for another two days. Let them sleep.”

 

The grounds seemed peaceful and that made my heart and soul quiet down a bit from the night’s near catastrophe. Ian brought the truck behind our hut, out of view from Karina and Charles’ cabin and we got out. He removed his half of the now filthy t-shirt. I struggled with mine so he came around and helped work through the knots.

 

“Good Lord, Soph, how did you do this? Your hair is caught in it.” He laughed again.

 

“Note to self,” I said out loud, “Ian is happiest when in dangerous situations.”

 

He whipped my body around and his mouth gaped open, but it still couldn’t hide his grin. “What does that mean?”

 

“You’ve laughed twice tonight. That’s the most I’ve seen you laugh, especially if none of the kids are involved with their daily shenanigans.”

 

“So you watch me then?” he flirted, edging closer.

 

“About as much as you watch me,” I flirted back.

 

“I-I, uh-,” he stuttered.

 

“That’s what I thought,” I teased.

 

“Are you to grab a shower?” he asked.

 

“No, I am not to grab a shower. I was hoping to swim in this filth all night.”

 

“Sarcasm noted.”

 

He smiled and it was the most glorious thing I’d ever seen. I fought the urge to grab him and run my tongue along his teeth.

 

“Grab your stuff,” he continued. “I’ll meet you there.”

 

He startled me, but I didn’t let it show. I hurried to my half of the hut and tossed my shampoo, body scrub, etc. into my bucket before grabbing my robe. I practically ran to the showers and caught Ian mid-sweep.

 

“I knew you did this, by the way,” I told his back, stunning him still.

 

His shoulders sagged and he turned around and smirked. “How?”

 

I wasn’t about to rat Karina out. “It’s shockingly free of creepy crawlies every day, Ian?”

 

“I suppose that seems a bit lucky.”

 

“Thank you,” I told him quietly.

 

“At first I did it because I didn’t want to hear you complain.”

 

I approached him and blocked him into the stall. “And now?”

 

He swallowed but looked me dead in the eye. “Because I want to.” The intimacy of his stare shocked me silent, my mouth gaped. “I’ll be right back,” he told me.

 

I stepped aside, against the edge of the wood stall, to make room for him but his massive body still slowly grazed mine, stealing my breath away. I locked myself in and undressed, tossing my clothing over the side and setting my bucket on the stone beneath my feet.

 

I turned on the water and immediately began rinsing off my face. The water was cool but not cold. I welcomed it as I could feel the dirt leaving my body. It trailed down my legs and pooled near the drain in an orange haze. I closed my eyes and let the water rinse away the night. I turned my face from the stream and began to wet my hair. When I opened my eyes, Ian was in the stall across from mine astonishing me yet again for the umpteenth time that evening.

 

He was staring at me, the water slicing down his head and down his shoulders. The stalls were too high to expose anything more. He could only see my face and top of my head but just knowing we were both naked and within ten feet of one another was enough to make me flush from head to toe. He was breathtaking. Breathtakingly sexy. Breathtakingly beautiful. Breathtakingly real. Just breathtaking.

 

“Hi,” I choked out.

 

“Hi,” he said, flirtatiously smiling.

 

I couldn’t look at him anymore, so I bent to grab my shampoo. After pouring a handful, I stood and purposely avoided his eyes, though the heat of his gaze was enough to make the water boil. I worked the soap through my hair from root to tip twice before almost losing it or worse, giggling uncontrollably. I ducked under the running water to rinse and caught his stare again.

 

I smiled the largest smile I owned because I just couldn’t help it anymore.

 

“I’d give anything to wash your hair for you,” he said suddenly, rocking me to my core and wiping that silly grin right off my face.

 

“I’d give anything for you to do just that,” I told him candidly. This time he smiled and grabbed his own shampoo bottle.

 

He shampooed his hair and I bit my bottom lip to keep from saying something stupid like, “Let me help you” or “Let’s conserve some of this water we’re wasting.” I blushed once more and he noticed.

 

“What?” he asked.

 

“Nothing,” I said, turning to my bucket and grabbing my face soap.

 

I scrubbed my face much more thoroughly than I suppose was necessary, but I just couldn’t look at him anymore. He was torturing me just by existing. I rinsed the soap from my face and grabbed my conditioner, applying a generous amount and letting it set in my hair while I used the loofah on the rest of my body. My smile just kept getting bigger and bigger and embarrassingly bigger. I tried to avoid looking at him but his laughing did nothing to help matters much.

 

Finally, when I’d rinsed every last drop of soap from my body, I stood underneath the shower and began to rinse the conditioner. I looked his direction and it was obvious he was done but he was sticking around for the free show.

 

“Still here?” I asked.

 

“If the situation were reversed?” he countered.

 

I closed my eyes. “I’d still be here,” I told him, smiling again.

 

When I opened my eyes again, he’d rested his forearms on the top of the edge of the stall, the water still cascading down his incredible skin. We kept up eye contact until the conditioner was long gone, no trace of it whatsoever anymore, but I continued longer than I should because it was Ian Aberdeen and his royal hotness was just as enthralled with me as I was with him. Eventually, I turned the water off and he followed my lead. I began to towel dry my hair and he wrapped his around his waist. I slipped on my robe and flip-flops.

 

We both stood there waiting for the other to get out. Neither of us wanting the incredibly frustrating but totally exhilarating past few minutes to end. Finally, Ian made a move, unlocking his stall door. I followed his lead and met him in the center of the stone walkway between our stalls.

 

“Hi,” he said, peering down at me.

 

“We’ve done that.”

 

“We have?” he asked, distracted.

 

“Yes,” I said, my eyes riveted by his lips.

 

He breathed heavily out his nose. “I’ll walk you to your side of the hut now.”

 

“’Kay.”

 

“I’m going to escort you.” He paused, staring at my face. “Any second now.” Another pregnant pause as his eyes guided down my neck. “Just as soon as I can uproot my feet from this stone, I’m going to walk with you.” He smiled taking in my face again.

 

I fought a smile of my own when he grabbed the lantern hanging on the hook above us, his broad chest expanding right in front of my face. We stood still for a minute.

 

“Come on,” I told him, walking away first.

 

He quickly caught up with me and held the lantern ahead of us. We didn’t say a word on the short hike to our hut. We didn’t even glance each other’s direction. I walked right to my side and went inside, turning to say goodnight but he’d already gone into his side, leaving me disappointed and just a teeny bit pissed.

 

I lit the small candle on my washstand and dressed in yoga pants with a long-sleeve fitted tee. I draped my wet towel at the foot of my bed and tossed my robe on its hook. I kept my flip-flops on because it was Uganda and you never took your shoes off ever. I’d just finished brushing my teeth and hair when I heard a faint knock on my door.

 

My heart leapt into my throat. “Yes?” I barely choked out.

 

“It’s me,” Ian said quietly. “Can I come in?”

 

I glanced around my room a little bit frantic. I backed up a bit and stood beside my bed. “Come in.”

 

Ian tore through the door, the rush of wind snuffing out the candle, and stood looming over me in my small side of the hut. The door swung behind him and shut with a crack, startling me.

 

 

 

And just like that, Ian Aberdeen rushed me.

 

 

 

He grabbed my face and neck with his rough hands and brought me to him, practically lifting me to his lips. He devoured my mouth with his and I moaned into his mouth, spurring him on. His tongue found mine and it was warm and tasted of cinnamon.

 

A rush of adrenaline spiked through my body and pooled in my belly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he brought me closer to him, threading his fingers through my hair, rooting his fists at the back of my head, pulling lightly as if it was taking all his control not to throw me down on the bed. This made my eyes roll into the back of my head and I tightened my already closed lids.

 

He tore his lips from mine and we stood panting, the stars barely shining through the cracks in the door but enough to light up his face. I recognized his painfully strained expression. He didn’t know if what he’d done was okay with me, and I found myself so attracted to him for being so considerate. To reassure him, I ran my hands across his forehead to smooth out the lines.

 

“Ian,” I whispered before he attacked me again, hushing me on the “n.”

 

I gripped his shoulders as he harshly kissed my lips then followed my jaw line down my neck, making my head fell back. “Sophie,” he sighed between each kiss, making my toes tingle. His mouth found mine again and I kissed him back hard, breathing him in as best I could. My hands found his hair and I pushed them through the length until they met his neck then climbed back up, entangling my fingers in the damp mass. It felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him. I wrapped one leg around his calf and he groaned into my tongue, vibrating the back of my throat. I shivered.

 

“Oh, God,” I breathed into his mouth.

 

He smiled against my teeth and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever felt. “You taste like cherries,” he told me. His voice shivered against my skin, making me smile back.

 

He rested his forehead against mine. “You taste like cinnamon,” I countered.

 

He pulled himself away and immediately I hated it. “Goodnight, Sophie Price.”

 

He backed away from me slowly, never breaking his stare or his smile. He opened the door and let it fall shut again. “Sleep well,” I heard through the cracks.

 

I brought my fingers to my smiling lips and ran them across the swollen skin. “You too,” I answered so softly I barely heard it myself.

 

 

 

I’d been kissed before, many times, but never like that.

 

 

 

 

 

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