CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Dingane and I were relieved by Ruth and Solomon around eight in the morning after breakfast, as promised. I was so exhausted, but the idea of sleeping on my sheets after being covered in blood and dirt gave me the chills. I wanted, no needed, to wash away the previous night.
“I have to shower,” I told Dingane.
His eyes bugged slightly. “Oh, all right. I was going to as well. Would you like to go first?”
“No,” I told him, “you go ahead. I’ll gather all my things.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll knock on your door when it’s free.
“Thank you.”
Fifteen minutes later, Dingane knocked and I answered.
He popped in his head and his hair was still wet and clung to his neck. I could smell his soap and I inhaled it.
“All yours,” he said, moving to leave before stopping short. “Uh, sleep well.”
“Thanks,” I said, smiling slightly.
I approached the shower with hesitation knowing there would be bugs this time but was surprised again to see it was entirely clear. “That’s odd,” I said out loud.
“What’s odd?” someone asked me. Karina was passing by.
“Oh, there aren’t any insects here.”
Karina studied the shower. “That is curious.” She smiled before scurrying off toward the schoolhouse.
I showered quickly, cleansing the night away as best I could and dressed simply. My feet and eyes were so heavy by the end I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to make it to my small hut but somehow I did, tossing my things to the side and practically diving into my bed, burying my net as best I could into the mattress. I was asleep before my eyes could even hit the pillow.
I woke of my own accord which felt strange, but it was still light out and that surprised me knowing how tired I’d been. I shook the insects from my net and emerged, brushing my teeth and fixing my hair into two braids as I’d done that first day. It was to be my standard style, I’d decided. It was easy and stayed out of my way. Two things I would have paid money I never would’ve associated with the way I wanted to present myself. I wore my standard blue jeans, boots and button-up.
Outside, I could hear the giggling voices of the girls and hearty laughs of the boys, no doubt enjoying their free day of play. When I left my hut, my view was exactly as I’d expected except for one little beautiful hiccup. The girls sat under the baobab tree, dancing and playing, the boys were several hours into a soccer match it seemed.
My eyes spanned across the players, all matching in height except for one. Dingane played alongside the boys, laughing with them, dribbling the ball around them and teasing them for not being able to catch up, which made them laugh all the more. Two boys had fallen down they were laughing so hard. When he spotted me, his smile didn’t fade and that bolstered me. He passed the ball to the nearest boy and they continued to play.
Dingane jogged toward me, out of breath when he finally reached me.
“They’ve put up the food, but Kate saved you a plate.”
“Oh, I’ll have to thank her.”
“Come on. I’ll show you where she stored it. I don’t think you’ve ever been in the kitchen before,” he said, walking backward.
“I haven’t,” I admitted when he turned back around. “How are the village children?” I asked.
He dropped to match my pace. “Much better. Many of their wounds were more superficial than we originally thought. The first girl we’d wrapped, Olivia, is the worst off but conscious now and asking questions. We have high hopes.”
“How are they handling it? The loss?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“As expected. They need time.”
“No, they need their parents.”
“That is the very definition of stolen, Sophie. Nobody ever asks permission.”
When we arrived in the kitchen, we heard the patter of bare feet on the tile floor but saw no one. I went through the swinging door into the eating hall and looked around but saw no one until I turned around and noticed Mandisa, the one who refused to eat, hiding beneath the serving line.
“Mandisa?” I called to her, but she was trembling, too afraid to come out so I went to her instead. “Mandisa, sweetheart,” I said, testing out the word. I’d never genuinely called anyone “sweetheart” before, not without condescension. “Come to me.”
I held out my arms and could feel Dingane steadily approaching me from behind. I lifted my hand to stay him and felt him stop.
Mandisa shook her head and back and forth and squeezed her eyes shut. I took the opportunity to join her underneath the line and Dingane crouched beside us, boxing us in. When Mandisa opened her eyes, they were full of tears, so I did the only thing I could think to do. I grabbed her. I lifted her into my lap and squeezed her to my chest. I rubbed small circles into her back and whispered in her ear. It negated every instinct I owned, but I did it anyway.
“It’s not working. What should I do?” I asked Dingane.
“Keep holding her,” he whispered.
“It’s not working,” I told him and tried to push her on him, but Dingane placed her back in my arms so I squeezed her again.
He placed his hand on my shoulder and held fast. “She needs affection.”
“I’m not doing it right,” I told him, beyond panicked then.
“Yes, you are,” he reassured me.
Dingane sat beside me against the aluminum partition and an instant calming sensation washed over me. I knew I could do it. I knew if Dingane was there to help me that I could help Mandisa. So we stayed silent for what seemed like hours and all I could wonder was if I had it in me to calm a toddler who’d just lost her mother, who refused to eat and was a complete stranger. I wondered if her life would always be teeming with the strife she so obviously struggled with. I wondered if she would continue to starve herself with grief, or if we’d be able to feed her through a tube. I wondered if she would ever be a normal child again. I wondered if she would even make it to adulthood, or if she would forever be lost to the cruel world she had already been subjected to at such a young age. I wondered about the practical and impractical and while I pondered her young life, she calmed down. She stopped crying and held on to me tightly.
I turned toward Dingane and felt his relief as well. We were a silly lot, the three of us, burrowed underneath that aluminum serving line, but despite what it appeared to the outside world, we had just conquered a mountain.
Dingane shimmied out of our cozy spot, but I was hindered by toddler so he dragged me out by my hips and practically lifted the two of us off the ground in one fell swoop, sending shivers down my spine.
“That was impressive,” I deadpanned.
“Thank you,” was all he replied, making me smile.
I followed Dingane into the kitchen and he removed my food, dumping it into a pot to reheat it for me. I tried to hop onto the counter with Mandisa in my arms but failed miserably.
Dingane rolled his eyes and easily lifted Mandisa and me easily onto the counter. My cheeks flamed when he touched my waist, but he didn’t seem to notice, too engrossed in stirring it seemed. I watched him in that moment and was overcome with attraction. It felt so wrong to focus on the boy before me when I held a very needy girl in my arms, but I couldn’t help it. I turned my face away from him and brought Mandisa closer to me, laying my cheek on her head the way I’d seen Sav’s mom do it a thousand times before.