“I’ve seen him with the kids, with his pregnant sisters, Mrs. Montgomery. He’d be an excellent father, and he should have that.”
“I agree, but Nic, why do you feel that you can’t eventually have that with him? Aside from the fact that your relationship is new, and marriage and children are still in the distant future, why do you not think that you could be the woman to eventually share those things with him? You’re obviously very much in love with each other.”
“Because I can’t have children, ma’am. Sure, I may be able to get pregnant through the miracles of modern medicine, but the PCOS is so bad that I’ve been advised that I shouldn’t have children.”
“And why is it necessary for the children you may have to be biologically yours?”
I sit in stunned silence and stare at the older woman, then crease my brow in confusion. “Isn’t that usually how it works? Matt should have his own biological children.”
Gail’s eyes flare in irritation, and she crosses her arms over her chest, and I have a bad feeling that I’ve just pissed off the mama bear.
Shit.
“Because you’re new to our fold, let me explain something to you about our family, Nic. The saying ‘blood is thicker than water’ is bullshit. My Natalie first came into our family when she was in college with Jules. They became fast best friends, and Nat came home with Jules during holidays and such. And when her parents died, leaving her orphaned, we are the ones who stood by her, helped her through that difficult time, and continue to love her. Natalie is as much my daughter as Jules is, but she isn’t my biological daughter.” Gail smiles softly.
“Caleb,” she continues, “just adopted Maddie and Josie and couldn’t love them more than the baby he’s conceived with Brynna. Those girls are his. In every way, Nic.”
I remember the girls with Caleb when I was invited to dinner and smile as I nod in agreement.
“Another example is Meg and Leo. They both came from some of the most difficult of circumstances, but found each other and have claimed each other as brother and sister since Meg was a preteen. But they don’t share parents, Nic. They just love each other so much that they made a family together.
“The Williams family, all of my sons and daughters-in-law, have become as much my family as those I gave birth to.”
God, I’m such a moron. All this time, I thought it would be important to Matt to have children of his own, but it never occurred to me that he would welcome children who might come to us through other means.
“And Dominic,” Gail continues, much to my surprise. “Did Matt tell you that story?”
“Just that Dominic is his half brother.”
“I’m surprised he worded it that way,” Gail murmurs. “My husband and I had a rough time of it right after Caleb was born. We split for a few months, and during that time, Steven slept with a woman while on a business trip, resulting in Dominic.”
My mouth drops as I stare at her, shocked.
“We didn’t know about the baby until early this year when Dominic hired a private investigator to find his biological father. It shocked Steven, but between you and me, it turned my world upside down. Nic”—she leans in and lays her hands on the table—“my husband had a child with another woman. I knew about the sex more than thirty years ago, right after it happened, but now there was a man in front of me, claiming to be my husband’s son. His mother died last year, and he was curious. What was I supposed to do? Throw him away and pretend he never existed?”
“What did you do?” I ask, enthralled.
“I welcomed that man into our family. I’d forgiven Steven a lifetime ago, and Dom is his child. He’s come to fit in very well with our family, and my other children love him, too.”
“You are an extraordinary family, ma’am. Families like yours don’t happen every day.”
“Oh, darling, we are not perfect, that’s for sure. But my point is, whether it’s through blood or pure love, family is family. I dare you to tell me that the twins, Olivia and the new baby about to come aren’t my grandchildren.”
“Of course they are,” I reply immediately.
“And any children that you and Matt are blessed with, whether they come from your womb or through adoption, or even surrogacy, would be loved just the same, Nic. That’s what a family is.”
The tears are flowing freely now.
Gail scoots her chair around to mine and rubs my back soothingly.
“I’m so ridiculous,” I choke out.
“You love him, sweet girl. You thought you were doing what was right for him.”
“I love him so much it hurts to breathe.”
Tears fill Gail’s own eyes as she nods. “Only a woman in love would be so stupid. I’m sure it didn’t help being around the pregnant girls and the kids.”
I shrug and then nod, chuckling through my tears. “I feel so silly because I really like Nat, Jules and Brynna, and I’m happy for them all. I would never begrudge them the children they’re having.”
“Well, you’re not a monster, Nic. But it’s a hard thing to see their men hold their bellies.”
“I…” I begin and then just sigh, hanging my head in my hands. “Yes. It’s hard.”
“It’s easier when you have people around you who love you and understand.”
“I don’t want anyone’s pity. I have so much to be thankful for, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.”
“There’s a big difference between support and pity, Nicole, and you know it.”
I bite my lip and nod reluctantly. “I made a mess.”
“You can clean it up.”
“You think?” I ask hopefully. “Matt and I haven’t been seeing each other long, so to bring up kids now was relationship suicide.”
Gail laughs and pats my shoulder. “It might have been early, yes, but I don’t think Matt’s thoughts were far from yours. One thing you have to understand about my Matthew: Honesty is paramount to him. Maybe it’s the cop in him, but he will respect you going to him and being honest. Then you two can take it from there.”