“He’s always that way. If I didn’t wear earplugs, I’d never get anything done during the day.” What was she trying to get done in her bedroom staring out the window?
“He was wet, soaked through his clothes. Did you feed him yet?”
“Judith always gives him breakfast. She loves taking care of him.”
“I know she does. But it’s the first day of school, remember? Judith left early. Maybe Teddy is hungry.”
“Then I’ll feed him, all right?” Rose snapped. “Will that make you happy?”
Helen tried to be reassuring. “All babies cry, you know.”
“Ha! Not like him. He’s a monster.”
Helen couldn’t bear to hear Rose say that about Teddy. “Rose, he’s just a baby.”
“Well, I’m too old to take care of another baby. I can’t do it!”
“If I can do it, you can too.”
“I’m telling you I can’t. I’m not like you. How can you pretend this is all so easy? I can’t do this!” Rose’s voice was breaking.
“Listen to me.” Helen took one of Rose’s hands in both of her own. She was pleading with her. “You have to. I’m trying to help you, but you have to do better than this. Teddy needs you.”
Rose shook her head and Helen let go of her hand. “I’m going to give the kids a bath,” Helen said. “Then we’re all going to the park. All of us.” She was numb and sick with worry. Don’t be angry, she kept telling herself. Don’t be angry. She’s going through a difficult patch. Everything will work out.
Helen went back to the babies, who were busy chewing on blocks and babbling at each other. When she put them both in the tub together, it reminded her of when she used to bathe the twins. Getting them out was harder than getting them in, but she managed it all right. She dressed Natalie back in her romper and found fresh clothes for Teddy. Then she brought them into the kitchen to wait for Rose.
Half an hour later, after Teddy was fed, Rose appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, dressed and ready for their outing. Teddy started kicking his feet and babbling when he saw her.
“He’s excited to see you,” Helen said. She took Teddy out of his high chair and handed him to Rose, who held out her arms reluctantly. “Go to Mama,” Helen cooed, but Rose’s hands were stiff and slow in accepting him. It took several moments before Helen could let go, and it was only when she felt Rose’s grip on him tighten that she was sure he was secure. Helen exhaled slowly, picked Natalie up off the floor and followed Rose and Teddy out the door.
Chapter 20
ROSE
(November 1948)
The first few months of school went by quickly, and Rose felt better. She got rid of the earplugs and stopped taking naps during the day. Helen checked in on her every morning. Rose knew her sister-in-law only wanted to help, but she was becoming increasingly annoyed with Helen’s little visits.
Living together in the two-family house had always had its benefits. When Rose first moved in, she had been grateful every day for Helen’s companionship. Helen taught her how to cook, how to sew curtains, how to bleed the radiator when it started getting noisy. She told Rose where to buy fish and which grocer had the best produce. The two of them had been inseparable back then, more like sisters than some real sisters Rose knew. When the children came along, the cousins had each other for playmates. There was always an adult around if any child was sick or wanted help with schoolwork. And if either Rose or Helen needed something for a recipe, chances were that one of them had the ingredient the other was missing.
But there were downsides too. Rose had been humiliated the day Helen found her in the bedroom on the first day of school. Part of Rose was grateful that Helen had been there. But part of her resented the lack of privacy and boundaries that had developed between them. I should have known this would happen, Rose thought. She began to wonder if they would always live like this, together in the two-family house, never more than a few feet from each other.
Now, the clock struck 10:00 a.m. and there it was, the inevitable knock at the door.
“Rose? Are you home?” Rose had been careful about locking the door in the morning after the girls left. But ever since the first day of school, Helen started keeping the extra key to Rose’s house on the key chain she left in her pocketbook. “It’s easier,” she told Rose. “This way if I need to borrow something from the kitchen and you aren’t home to answer, I’ll be able to get whatever I need without bothering you. You still have our key, don’t you? Or do you need me to make you another one?”
“No,” Rose said. “I have it in a drawer somewhere.”
Rose preferred to open the door herself, so she rushed over to get to it in time.
When she opened it she found Helen and Natalie, both bundled up in hats and heavy coats. “It’s freezing out today,” Helen said. “I think it’s too cold to go to the park. What do you think?”
Rose shrugged. “We haven’t been out yet. But if you think it’s too cold…” She was hoping Helen would give up their daily walk and leave her and Teddy to themselves for the day.
“Well, maybe we’ll come in for a few minutes. The kids can play a little.”
“Sure.” Rose knew better than to argue. She stepped aside to let Helen and Natalie into the kitchen. Teddy was sitting on the floor, playing with a set of wooden farm animals he had inherited from Dinah. His favorite was the sheep.
Rose filled a kettle with water from the tap and put it on the stove for tea. As soon as Natalie was out of her coat and down on the floor, she crawled over to Teddy and grabbed the sheep from his tiny fist. Then she yelled, “Baa!” in Teddy’s face. When Teddy started to cry, Helen pulled the toy away from Natalie and put it back in Teddy’s hand. After that, both of them were crying.
Helen didn’t know who to comfort first. She took Teddy up on her knee and picked one of the other animals for Natalie. “Here, sweetheart. Here’s a cow for you.”
“Mooo!” Natalie called out.
“She’s smart,” Rose said. “Like Judith.”
Helen was miffed. “Sam spoke early too.”
“I know,” said Rose, “but Natalie takes after Judith in a lot of ways.”
“She has the same chin as Harry,” Helen pointed out.
“True.” Rose gave in. “They both have Grandpa Harold’s chin.” Harold was Mort and Abe’s father. Rose knew the conversation was not going in a good direction. She was trying to think of something else to talk about.
Helen must have been thinking the same thing. “What do you want to do for Thanksgiving this year?” she asked. “Do you want me to have it upstairs? It’s no problem.”
Rose suppressed a sigh. Where was it written that the two families had to celebrate every holiday with each other? Rosh Hashanah and break-fast had been in September, but it felt like they had just happened yesterday. Was it really necessary to have Thanksgiving together too?
“We … may go to my aunt Faye’s place. She invited us.” It was only partly untrue. The last time Rose had spoken with Faye was over a month ago. She hadn’t invited them specifically for Thanksgiving, but she had told Rose to “come and visit anytime.”
“Really? You’re going to schlep all the way to Manhattan on Thanksgiving? Why do you want to go all the way there?”
“It’s not that far.”
“I thought Mort didn’t like Faye’s husband.”
“Mort had a nice conversation with Stuart last time.”
“Suit yourself. Let me know if you change your mind.”
“I will. I’ll talk to Mort about it tonight.”
“All right. Faye can always come to us. It’s just the two of them. Maybe I’ll just call and invite her here. That way everyone can be together. Why don’t you give me her number?”
“I’ll ask her.”
“Are you sure? I’d feel rude if I didn’t invite her myself.”
“I said I’d ask her!”