I force myself to nod and quickly walk out, the look on Magda’s face clear—there’s nothing I can say that will change her mind.
I hurry back to my office feeling like I’ve just been punched in the gut, the to-do list in my mind so long it dizzies me. From the call I need to return to Stella to discuss a million wedding details to the three campaigns I am juggling—all with something due to the client at the end of the week—I’m overwhelmed. I duck into the bathroom to splash some water on my face, hoping the shock of cold against my cheeks will at least stop my knees from wobbling.
“Sorry, closed for cleaning,” a woman’s voice says from behind the stall.
I grip the sink, wondering when I’m going to feel like I’m in control again. I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m riding in the passenger seat of my own life. As I stare at my sallow reflection in the mirror, a cart filled with mops is wheeled out of the stall. “Can I just splash some—” I start to say, then stop abruptly when I see Ruby’s familiar curls.
Ruby pulls a yellow Caution sign out from the cart, sets it outside the bathroom door, then flips the latch and turns to me. “You don’t look so good.”
“Thanks.” I roll my eyes at her.
“You’ve been a tough case, I must say.”
“What do you mean by that?” I stare at her hard, willing her not to give me one of her cryptic answers.
“Well, just when I think you’ve chosen your path, you take a turn in the other direction.”
“And that’s a problem for you, why?” I demand. “Because you’ve never actually said why you’ve taken an interest in me. Is that the right word, Ruby, interest?” I say, unable to control the anger in my voice.
Ruby ignores my question, giving me a look I can’t read.
“I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated.”
“Because you have the chance to do your life over? To correct something that went wrong? That’s frustrating?” Ruby puckers her lips.
“Well . . . yes and no. I mean, why won’t you just tell me what I’m supposed to do? Isn’t that why you keep showing up?”
Ruby shakes her head. “I’m just here to make sure you’re all right.”
“But not to offer me any actual help?”
Ruby ignores my dig. “As always, you can ask me one question,” she says as she dips her mop in the bucket and starts gliding it back and forth across the linoleum floor.
I think for a moment, quickly weighing the questions sitting heavy on my mind like encyclopedias on a shelf. “Well, I’m sure you know this, but Max and I are back on the right path—” I stop, waiting for her to look up from her cleaning, but she keeps mopping. “So that means we’re good, right, no more surprises? We’re definitely getting married?”
Ruby finally looks up. “Yes, if that’s what you want.”
I feel a ball of fear slowly dislodge from my gut. “Thank you,” I say, and start to leave. But something propels me to turn, and when I do, she’s staring at me, mop in hand, a furrow in her brow, concern in her eyes.
? ? ?
The sun has set, the lampposts illuminating the street, when I finally leave the office. I’d worked through lunch and dinner, but still hadn’t crossed as many things off my list as I’d hoped, my mind constantly wandering back to my interaction with Ruby, wondering if I’d imagined the look I’d seen or if it had been real.
I grip my steering wheel, but don’t start the ignition, unsure of where I want to go. Finally, I pull out my phone and send a message to the only person I feel like talking to right now.
My cell dings a few moments later with a response from Liam and I smile. I’d felt so disconnected from him lately. He had always been the one person besides Jules I could absolutely count on, but lately it has felt like he is slipping away. I knew it was just because he had become so caught up in Nikki and her lifestyle, but it still made me uneasy. Everything and everyone seemed to be changing so much this time around, and I wasn’t sure it was for the better. I fumble with the phone and quickly click on his name, hoping he’ll say he has time to grab a beer with Elvis and me. But his message is curt.
Sorry, can’t. At Nikki’s.