“It’s nothing,” he says. “I’m probably just worrying over nothing. But—”
His phone rings then. And his expression is awful. A scared little kid who knows the world is about to crash down on him. He looks down at the screen. It says Papa. “Shit,” he whispers. We both continue staring at the screen as the phone rings. I’m dying to know what’s going on, but it feels wrong to say anything. The phone stops ringing. We both exhale. The screen lights up with another phone call. This time, the name that pops up is Mama. Danny takes a deep breath and hits Accept.
“Ma.” He shoots me an apologetic look and turns away.
I know it’s dumb, but I feel…shunned. Though he’s still right there, I sense a sudden rift between us.
“I don’t—what did Auntie say to him?” Danny sighs again. “Can we talk about this later? I’m about to go to class.”
He’s not about to go to class. He just can’t talk because I’m here. I look down at my shoes, wanting to disappear. And then it gets even worse. He switches to Mandarin. “Nǐ shì zhǒngzú zhǔyì zhě. Wǒ zhīdào bàba huì nàyàng, dàn wǒ yǐwéi nǐ huì gèng hǎo.”
I swear my insides are actually twisting to get away from here. Any moment now, they’ll burst out of my belly and writhe away, squeaking, “THIS IS SO AWKWARD.” Because I may be half-native Indo, but I’m also half-Chinese, and one of the things Ibu has always been adamant about is me going to Chinese class every Saturday so my Chinese family doesn’t have yet another thing they can look down on me for. So, in a very awkward twist of events, I know that Danny has just called his mom a racist, and it doesn’t take a genius to guess who she’s being racist about.
Exhaustion takes over. I just want to slump onto the track and sleep the rest of the semester away. I can’t believe Ibu spent half her life trying to please my dad’s racist family, and now I’m in the exact same situation. Why did I think anything would be different?
“Wǒ bùxiǎng zài gēn nǐ tǎolùn zhè jiàn shìle,” Danny hisses. Then he pauses and looks at the phone disbelievingly before shoving it back in his pocket.
“Sooo,” I say. “Your parents found out about us, then?”
“Lia, I’m so sorry. Hang on, how did you guess—”
“I speak Mandarin.”
Danny’s entire face falls. He looks so utterly miserable, I can’t help but give him a hug.
“It’s okay,” I say, which is stupid because it didn’t sound okay, and it’s not okay, and it feels like nothing in my life is okay.
“No, listen.” He tucks his hand under my chin and gazes at me. “It’s really not okay, and I’m so sorry you had to hear that. It’s one of the many reasons I don’t get along with my folks. But you know what? They don’t control me. They cut me off months ago. They’ve done their worst. I don’t care what they think. I think you’re pretty freakin’ amazing, so fuck them.”
“Thank you, I think I’m pretty freakin’ amazing too.”
He laughs. “You’re supposed to tell me that I’m pretty freakin’ amazing too.”
“You’re alright.” And then I go on tiptoes and kiss him, because really, what else is there to do in this moment?
A shrill ring slices through our kiss. It takes me a second to realize my phone’s ringing. I break apart from Danny and fumble for it, my heart racing. Nobody ever calls me. Everyone just texts. Something’s wrong. Please don’t let be Ibu. Who the hell—
“Hello?”
It’s not Ibu on the other end. It’s Mr. Werner, and he wants me to go to his office right now.
Chapter 9
By the time I make it to Mr. Werner’s office, I’m this close to puking. He knows. I’m busted. I’m going to be kicked out of school. That’s basically worse than dying.
I watch as my hand rises and knocks on his door.
“Come in,” he says. Doesn’t even ask who it is. He knows it’s me, the dirty cheater who deserves to be expelled.
No. I’m not the dirty cheater. He is. Remember that. I turn the doorknob and walk inside. I have to remind myself not to hunch my shoulders.
“Sit.” It’s delivered as a command, and my body reacts instinctively, practically falling into the chair opposite of Mr. Werner. I can’t even look at him. I look at my hands and find that they’re wringing tightly. Loosen up, hands. They refuse.
“Do you know why you’re here?” he says.
I manage to give a small shake of the head.
“You’re here because I’ve just finished grading the last test.”
Is that a question? Should I say something? I should stop looking down at my stupid hands, at least. I try to meet his eye. Fail. Settle for his neck instead. “Uh-huh?”
“You did very well, Lia.”
I internally scream at my face until it stretches into a smile. “Yay.”
“Yay indeed. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting such a dramatic improvement.”
“I studied really hard for it,” I say, as earnestly as I can. I mean, to be fair, I really did study hard for it.
“I’m sure. Tell me, what are your thoughts on question number five?”
I can practically smell my brain cells frying as my mind short-circuits itself trying to think of an acceptable answer. “That’s the question on uh—”
“Why was the severed sow’s head nicknamed the Lord of the Flies?”
“Oh right. Yeah.” I struggle to recall my answer. Or rather, SiliconBrains’s answer. “Because. Um.”
“You said because it literally has flies swarming around it.”
“Ah, yes. Uh-huh.”
Mr. Werner narrows his eyes. “Lia. That wasn’t your answer. You said because it symbolizes Satan, who is sometimes called the Lord of the Flies.”
“Did I?” Oh god, I’m going to throw up. “I’ve had a really long day, I can’t remember all of my answers.”
“Because you cheated.” He says it so simply, like he’s telling me I’ve got ketchup on my blazer. I feel like my entire face just caught fire.
“I didn’t—”
“You did,” he says, and he’s still so calm, like yep, you totally did, whatever. “We have a zero-tolerance policy on cheating. I’m afraid I have to report you to Mrs. Henderson—”
“If you do that, I’ll tell Mrs. Henderson you’re selling grades to your students!” And it’s out, just like that. Holy shit, I can’t believe I said it. My entire body is pulsing, like my heart’s taken over everything, and I’m just one giant BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. Somehow, I’m glaring at Mr. Werner, and I can’t look away, can’t tear my eyes from his pale gaze, and whoa, I’m on my feet, when did I stand up— Mr. Werner blinks. Then he throws his head back and laughs, this totally eerie laugh that makes me want to claw my face off because it’s so discordant, so wrong, he’s most definitely a possessed doll come to life.
“That’s just the most—oh god, this is hilarious. Excuse me, but it’s just so ridiculous—” He goes back to laughing madly.
“I have proof!”
“Oh? Do tell.” He’s still grinning like a shark.