I want to tell him it’s okay. I want to ask him why he got so angry all of a sudden. I want to ask him if he’d get out of this place with me, maybe take a little walk, but then Beth and Samantha give my arms a yank, and off we go onto the dance floor.
The next few hours pass by in a blur. Flutes of champagne continuously appear in my hands, until I’m so tipsy, I can’t keep up with anything. It’s all just a whirl of smiling faces and moving bodies, and then at some point, the lights come on and the music stops, and everyone groans. The magical night is over. We trudge outside, where a line of limos await us because everyone’s too drunk and/or high to drive back to school, and the whole drive back to Draycott, I wear a stupid grin because I’ve realized that not everybody hates me. Beth was right; this was just what I needed.
***
Unfortunately, the magic of that night doesn’t last. In the morning, the fact that I’m off varsity crushes me as soon as I awake. For a few moments, I’m threatened by the darkness of despair, but somehow, I manage to fight it off. I don’t have time for self-pity. If I want to get back on varsity, I need to pass Mr. Werner’s class.
The next few days, I devote myself to nothing but studying. In class, I nearly get a cramp writing down literally everything Mr. Werner says, even stuff like, “Nice weather today, huh?” There is no way in hell I’m going to give the man another chance to flunk me.
The night before the next English Lit test, I’m so engrossed in my notes for Lord of the Flies that I completely forget about dinner until my stomach suddenly decides this whole not-eating thing is bullshit and makes my life a living hell. “Okay, okay,” I mutter, as it gives a growl loud enough for the entire library to hear. I pack my stuff up and hurry to the dining hall. Only fifteen minutes left before dinner ends. My phone’s full of messages from Beth and Sam.
As I walk across the quad, I hear Mandy’s voice. Over the past few weeks, her voice has ingrained itself into my mind the same way a chimp would familiarize itself with the growl of a lion. Instinctively, my shoulders tighten, and I grip my books close to my chest. I can’t see her—ah, behind the hedge. I’m about to veer off course just to avoid her when she says, “Oh god, she’s not going to pass.”
Ugh. You’re only saying that because you don’t know how hard I’ve been studying, witch.
“I’ve made sure of it.”
What? Instinct overtakes me, and I turn and run away. As soon as I round the corner, all my strength leaves me and I sink to the ground, trying to catch my breath. She’s “made sure of it.” Made sure that I’d flunk Mr. Werner’s next test. But I don’t understand, I can’t—
I start shaking.
I believe her. I have no doubt that Mandy’s done something to sabotage me completely, and I feel so utterly defeated. All those hours I spent studying. What little hope I have of getting back on varsity, my dreams of a college scholarship. Crushed with one wave of Mandy’s manicured hand.
I take my phone out and open SiliconBrains’s email. With shaking hands, I type out a reply.
“Help me.”
I hit Send.
“You okay?”
I yelp and look up so fast, the back of my head smacks into the wall.
“Ouch. That sounded bad. You okay?” It’s Danny, crouching and tilting his head to look at me.
My head is throbbing, but the pain is actually grounding me a little, stopping me from spinning out completely. I don’t want to lose it in front of Danny, so I turn away, wincing so he thinks I need a moment because of the head smack. Take a deep breath, Lia. Good. And another one. When I feel a bit less like I’m about to shatter, I turn back and force a small smile. “I’m okay.”
“Okay…” He doesn’t look convinced.
I start gathering my books so I don’t have to meet his eye.
“Oh, you taking my uncle’s class?”
For a second, I have no idea what he’s talking about. Then I recall my Facebook search. “Mr. Werner is your uncle?”
“Only by marriage. But we’re pretty tight.”
I blink a few times, trying to digest this weird connection. “How come you’re not taking his class?”
Danny smiles sheepishly. “I wanted to, but he told me no. Said it would be way too hard for me.”
I don’t know what to make of that, and the last thing I want to do is discuss Mr. Werner right now, when my mind is such a mess, so I quickly change the subject. “How come you’re not at dinner?”
“Um. I’m on a diet?”
I stare at him.
Danny sighs. “Okay, truth is, I can’t really afford it. Please don’t tell anyone. Not even Beth.”
Now I’m really staring. “Aren’t you like a crazy rich Asian?”
“My parents are. But things aren’t going so well with them, so.”
Huh. I think back to how angrily he’d rejected the Sky pill. Oooh. He didn’t want to take it because he couldn’t afford it. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Eh, I’m not hungry anyway. Food’s overrated,” he says, just as his stomach gives a horrible growl. “Plenty of granola bars and muffins in the common room.”
This is too sad. “Come on, I’ll take you out for dinner.”
And just like that, without meaning to, I’ve asked a boy out on a date.
Chapter 6
We’re not allowed to leave school grounds without a permit on weeknights, so we head for the Narnia hole. The wind’s picking up, and once again, I am woefully underdressed for the chill of Norcal nights. In my defense, I wasn’t expecting to go around asking dudes out on impromptu dates.
“So.”
“Yep.”
Okay, so my first-date conversation really needs work, but so does his.
“South Melville.”
“Yep.”
“What’s that like?”
I side-eye him. “Are you thinking of like, gang violence and I dunno, Trump-esque visions of inner-city communities?”
Danny grimaces. “Uh. Sorry, I just. I really have no idea what anything outside of the OC is like.”
“You’re Indonesian, dude.”
“Oh, well. Yeah, but Indo’s different. You know how it is, you just get driven from high-end mall to high-end mall.”
“Actually, I don’t know how it is. My parents took me once, when I was a baby, and then shortly after that my dad died, and my mom just never went back.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I mean, to be honest, my dad’s family is super racist toward native Indonesians, so they were really against my dad marrying my mom, and then when he died, they blamed her for it, and it’s just a bunch of bullshit I’m glad I don’t have to deal with, you know?”
Wow, talk about killing the vibe. Why did I have to bring my pathetic origin story up?
“On behalf of the Chinese-Indo community, I am so, so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” I snort, though to be honest, it feels kind of good to hear it from him.
Our hands bump. We pretend not to notice. A thick, charged silence hovers over us as we crawl through the Narnia hole.
“Last time I did this, Sam and Grace had their cars parked here. It was crazy.”
“Yeah, this is pretty much everybody’s rendezvous point. I don’t have my car with me right now, so I’m afraid we have to walk.”