Starting out with the rituals of food and fire around the dinner table can ignite an understanding that the good life builds on connection and purpose. That our wealth is not measured by the size of our bank accounts but by the strength of our bonds, the health of our loved ones and the level of our gratitude. That happiness does not come from owning a bigger car but from knowing that we are part of something bigger – part of a community – and that we are all in this together.
What we at both the Happiness Research Institute and the World Happiness Report find is that the happiest countries have a strong sense of community, and the happiest people have someone they can rely on in times of need. That is why it is no coincidence that Danes are not only among the happiest in the world but are also among the ones who meet most often with their friends and family and trust that their friends will catch them if they fall.
Percentage of people who believe they can rely on their friends in times of need
New Zealand: 98.6%
Iceland: 95.7%
Denmark: 95.5%
Spain: 95.5%
Ireland: 95.3%
Australia: 95.1%
Finland: 94.2%
Canada: 93.9%
Switzerland: 93.5%
United Kingdom: 93.4%
Luxembourg: 93.4%
Norway: 93.1%
Austria: 92.5%
Sweden: 92.3%
Germany: 92.3%
Slovak Republic: 92.2%
Japan: 91.0%
Russian Federation: 90.7%
Italy: 90.7%
Czech Republic: 90.3%
Estonia: 90.2%
United States: 90.1%
Brazil: 90.0%
South Africa: 89.5%
France: 89.4%
Slovenia: 88.9%
Belgium: 88.4%
Netherlands: 87.9%
Poland: 86.3%
Israel: 85.7%
Portugal: 85.1%
Latvia: 84.2%
Turkey: 83.6%
Greece: 83.4%
Chile: 82.5%
Hungary: 82.2%
Korea: 75.8%
Mexico: 75.3%
Source: OECD, Better Life Index 2016
HAPPINESS TIP:
EAT LIKE THE FRENCH – CREATE RITUALS OF FOOD AND FIRE
Make time to eat. Reclaim your lunchtime and sit with friends, family and colleagues, and enjoy eating your food slowly and with company.
‘And for dessert?’
‘No dessert, but I would like a coffee afterwards, please. Un café américain.’
After giving a lecture in Paris, I had the afternoon off and had lunch in a small restaurant close to the Musée d’Orsay, on the border between the 5th and 7th arrondissements.
‘No dessert, and you order American coffee in Paris. You are a brave man,’ the waiter replied with a smile.
Food is not taken lightly in France. This is perhaps most evident in their state schools. Kids are served three-course meals that may consist of a salad for starters, a main course of veal marinated with mushrooms and broccoli, and apple tart for dessert – and cheese and bread, of course. The cloth napkins and the genuine silverware reveal that the ritual around the meal is almost as important as the food itself. It is about sitting down and eating calmly. The French eat together. That might be one of the reasons why the French are the ones who spend most time eating each day. And, despite its population having three courses and spending all that time at the table, France still has some of the lowest obesity levels in Europe. This may be due to the fact that people eat more when they sit in front of the TV.
According to a study from the University of Liverpool, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, it could be as much as 25 per cent more. And while most countries have official diet recommendations about how many portions of fruit and vegetables we should eat per day, one of the official recommendations in France is that you should eat with other people. That is one thing we could all aspire to do more frequently.
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THE GOOD LIFE AND THE COMMON GOOD
In the past five years, I have spoken to more than a thousand people about why Denmark, and Scandinavia more generally, do well in the happiness rankings. Often, people will say, ‘Danes pay some of the highest taxes in the world, so why are they so happy?’
And yes, Denmark has one of the highest tax rates in the world. The average income in Denmark is about 39,000 euros per year and the average Dane pays around 45 per cent in income taxes. If you make more than 61,500 euros per year, there is an additional tax rate – making it 52 per cent over this threshold.
However, I believe the Danes are happy not despite the high taxes but because of the high taxes – and most Danes would agree. Almost nine out of ten people living in Denmark say they happily pay their taxes, according to a Gallup survey undertaken in 2014. It’s all about knowing that happiness does not come from owning a bigger car but from knowing that everybody you know and love will be supported in their time of need. What works well in the Nordic countries is an understanding of the link between the good life and the common good. We are not paying taxes; we are purchasing quality of life. We are investing in our community.
9 out of 10 people living in Denmark say they happily pay their taxes
In Danish, the word for community is f?llesskab. F?llesskab can be split up into f?lles, meaning ‘common’ or ‘shared’, and skab, which can mean either ‘cabinet’ or ‘create’. Not only is community our common cabinet (our shared supplies), it is also something we create together. I think there is some beauty in that.
Like the Germans, we Danes love compound words. Maybe it is because of the cold climate, but Danish words like to spoon. R?stofproduktionsopg?relsesskemaudfyldningsvejledning is the word for a manual to fill out a questionnaire about the production of raw materials. It is also the reason why Scrabble in Denmark is considered an extreme sport and is the number-one cause of wrist injuries. There are seventy words in the official Danish dictionary by the Society for Danish Language and Literature that have the word f?llesskab in them.
We talk about…
Bof?llesskab:
A co-housing scheme
F?llesgrav:
A shared grave, e.g. where several people are buried together F?llesskabsf?lelse:
A sense of community
F?lles?konomi:
A shared economy, e.g. when couples have a joint bank account Sk?bnef?llesskab:
A shared destiny
F?llessk?n:
A shared gender. Whereas most languages divide nouns into masculine and feminine, Danish nouns are divided into no-gender and common-gender – they are the hermaphrodites of nouns, if you will.
BOF?LLESSKAB – HAPPINESS OF THE COMMONS
The houses form an open circle around the common yard. It is June, there is a crisp blue sky, and the garden is alive with the sounds of children playing. Children from different families are running in and out of the houses.
Unlike most kids these days, these boys and girls are growing up with an unusual combination of freedom and security. Some of them are playing kubb – a lawn game said to have originated in the Viking age, in which you throw sticks at other sticks. A dog is watching, as if the game were the greatest invention ever. Other kids are gathered around a campfire with a couple of grown-ups.
‘Hi, Mikkel, you bandit!’ one of the men calls out, and smiles at us. J?rgen is one of the residents here and knows my friend Mikkel well.
Mikkel grew up here. He lives in Copenhagen now but, last summer, we returned to his childhood home to pick up his dad to go on our annual sailing trip. They sail; I photograph, and insist on calling the pictures ‘sailfies’. Despite this, I am invited to join them again every year. We cannot park next to the house because the parking spots are on the fringe of this little community, so you walk the last forty metres on foot, across the common yard, to get to Mikkel’s parents’ house. That is no coincidence: the area is designed to encourage social interaction and impromptu conversation between residents.
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