1. READING
Reading – especially if you use the public library or the mini-library you have established in your stairway – is free. To me, the perfect afternoon is a book and a blanket in the shade of a tree on a summer’s day – and since you are reading this, you probably already agree. Bibliotherapy, the art of using books to aid people in solving the issues they are facing, has been around for decades, and the belief in the healing power of books is said to go as far back as ancient Egypt and Greece, where signs above libraries would let readers know that they were entering a healing place for the soul. More recently, psychologists at the New School for Social Research found that fiction books improve our ability to register and read others’ emotions and, according to an article in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, research also shows that literary fiction enhances our ability to reflect on our problems through reading about characters who are facing similar issues and problems. Basically, reading is free therapy.
2. CREATE A SMILE FILE
Ruby Receptionist has been named the number-one small company to work for in the US by Fortune magazine. When a new employee starts there, they are handed a ‘Smile File’ and asked to write down every nice comment they receive from co-workers, clients and their bosses. Why? Because people remember criticism far better than praise. It is an inexpensive approach we can apply in our personal lives to become more aware of the things that we do have, instead of focusing on what we don’t. Once a week, write down three to five things you are grateful for. Anything from ‘My family and friends are healthy’ to ‘Coffee and the Rolling Stones’, but try also to elaborate on how they impact on your life in a positive way. Studies show that translating our thoughts into concrete written language has advantages, compared to just thinking about it. It makes us more aware and increases the emotional impact. In recent years, ‘gratitude journals’ have become more and more popular, but it is important not to treat these exercises as just another item on your to-do list. Also, studies show that it is better to do it occasionally – say, once a week – than every day, to keep it from becoming a routine.
3. ESTABLISH A FREE-FUN FELLOWSHIP
Like Michelle used to before taking on the challenge of the no-spend year, many of us organize our social life around restaurant visits or bars. If money becomes tight, you may risk becoming isolated. In order to counter that, you might form a free-fun fellowship in which each friend takes a turn at planning an inexpensive activity and you all meet up to spend time together doing it.
What my fellowship has done is to watch the horse races (bring a pot-luck picnic), visit museums, go swimming, play board games and go hiking in Dyrehaven (the king’s former hunting grounds north of Copenhagen, where you can see hundreds of deer). These things might not be for you. You may hate deer and trees, and you may have to find your own way, but the point is to try to remove the value and power of money when it comes to happiness.
HAPPINESS – WHERE TO GET BANG FOR YOUR BUCK
As a group, on average, the richer countries are happier, but if we zoom in on the richest countries in the world, we don’t see a clear pattern.
Qatar, the richest country in the world, ranks thirty-fifth in the 2017 World Happiness Report, while a poorer country, Costa Rica, ranks twelfth. And some countries seem to be better at converting wealth into well-being for their people. For instance, the US is the eighteenth richest country in the world, with a GDP higher per capita than Denmark, Finland, Sweden and Iceland, but reports lower levels of happiness than all these countries.
This demonstrates two things. First, while money matters, it is not all that matters. Second, it is not only about how much money we make, it is also about what we do with the money we have. The most successful countries in the twenty-first century will be those that most efficiently turn wealth into well-being – and this also applies to the individual. So how do we get most bang for our buck when it comes to happiness?
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BUY MEMORIES, NOT THINGS
‘Now you have earned your name. You are a proper Viking now.’
These words are from Jussi, my publisher in Finland. It was early January and I had just risen from the freezing waters of Helsinki. It was the first time I had tried winter swimming and, earlier that day, I had googled ‘Can you die from ice swimming?’ So much for being a brave Viking.
Before we jumped into the dark, icy water, we spent an hour in a beautiful wooden public sauna by the harbour in Helsinki. As soon as Jussi had picked me up from the airport, our conversation steered towards the unique sauna culture of Finland.
‘Finnish saunas are better than Swedish saunas.’
‘How are they better?’ I asked, not being sure how you would judge the quality of a sauna.
‘They are warmer.’
‘Warmer’ was an understatement. Every breath I took in the sauna I felt like I was inhaling a chilli, and I discovered that I have the ability to sweat inside my mouth. Admittedly, not one of the cooler superhero powers but, at that time, it proved very useful.
Every twenty minutes, one of the Finns operating the sauna would enter, pose a question, and the Finnish men and women in there would say, kyll?, the Finnish word for ‘yes’. You could recognize every non-Finn in the room. Not by the fact that they were not saying kyll?, but by the sheer look of panic as they thought, Oh my God, did he just ask if we wanted the sauna to be warmer?, followed by the operator pouring water over the heated rocks and causing more hot steam to fill the room and our lungs.
Nevertheless, being exposed to the extreme heat in a dark room forces you to concentrate on your breathing, and it was a wonderful and meditative experience. One of the first things I did when I came back to Copenhagen was to look for saunas. Furthermore, on that day in Helsinki, the intense heat converted my fear of the icy-cold water awaiting me into a feeling of pleasant anticipation. It was cold, yes, but it was not the near-death experience I had imagined. The feeling of being alive and experiencing my body warm, despite standing semi-naked in the dark Helsinki night in January after swimming among ice, was pure joy. The whole experience might only have taken a couple of hours, but it is a memory I will carry with me for ever.
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HAPPINESS TIP: BUY EXPERIENCES
Buy experiences and memories, not things.
According to researchers Dunn and Norton, if we are looking to buy happiness, it is wiser to invest in experiences rather than things, as ‘study after study [shows that] people are in a better mood when they reflect on their experiential purchases which they describe as “money well spent”’. If people are asked to compare purchases they made with the intent of increasing their happiness – one where they bought something tangible (like an iPhone, gold-plated or not) and one where they bought an experience (a trip, maybe) – and are then asked which purchase made them happier, 57 per cent will say the experience compared to 34 per cent the tangible object.
Buying experiences is especially good for happiness if these experiences bring you together with other people and if they are linked with who you see yourself as being. As an example, I see myself as a happiness researcher, therefore I may get more pleasure out of visiting Bhutan – the country that has instituted policies based on gross national happiness since the 1970s – than you. See experiences as an investment in happy memories and in your personal story and development.
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HAPPINESS TIP:
BUY MEANINGFUL EXPERIENCES THAT ARE PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER