It had been a month since I’d adopted the kids, and eleven days since Ella had taken Maisie to Denver for her first MIBG treatment.
“I’d wear a helmet!” he argued.
Stay strong, I reminded myself. It had been just Colt and me for the last eleven days, with some help from Ada and Hailey, of course, and I was surprised he wasn’t ruling the roost yet. Probably because he’d spent more than half of those days in school.
“Oh, I don’t think that would even be a debate. Stop pushing your luck, kid.”
He sighed. “Fine. But what about a dirt ramp for my quad?”
Huh. Now that idea had some merit. “Hmmm.”
He saw my weakness and pounced, revealing that grin. “You know what?”
“What?” I asked with my hand on his shoulder.
“I think I was right. You know, back at the soccer game.”
I tried to think of which game he was referring to out of the dozens he’d had so far. “About what?”
“This is what it feels like to have a dad.”
Oh shit, I was going to cry.
“Well, maybe not every dad. I know Bobby’s dad couldn’t build this. And Laura’s dad is really cool, too; he flies planes. Maybe all dads are just cool in different ways, you know? Like some dads aren’t even, you know…dads.”
“Yeah,” I said softly, because I couldn’t think of another word. My brain was mush, right along with my heart.
“I’ve put a lot of thought into this.” He gave me a serious nod.
“I can tell. I love you, little man.”
“Yeah, I love you, too. And I’d really like a dirt ramp.”
I laughed as Ella pulled into the driveway.
“Mom’s home!” Colt ran up the hill, Havoc happily chasing him, and me at their heels. Funny how I’d been deployed for a year, sometimes more, and yet the last eleven days seemed longer than any of that.
Time moved slower when you missed the person you love.
I got to the driveway in time to see Ella hop out of her car and hug Colt. Then she rubbed Havoc’s ears and cooed something at her before standing back up and pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head.
“Hey, you.” She smiled, and my chest threatened to explode. I loved her more now than I had a month ago, or even four months ago. I didn’t know how my heart was going to contain all of this emotion if it kept growing at this rate.
I picked her up and kissed her, feeling the rush of home like I always did when our lips touched. “I missed you.”
She held my beard-rough cheeks and kissed me again. “I missed you.”
“Yeah, we get it. You missed each other.” Colt laughed, already throwing open the back door. “Do you glow? Do you have superpowers?”
“I don’t think so,” Maisie answered, her voice quieter than usual.
“How do you know? Did you check? You might have spidey senses.”
I set Ella down and headed toward the open door, where Maisie was swinging her feet out. She landed and was instantly enveloped by Colt, who was now a good two inches taller than her.
“I missed you!”
“Me, too,” she said softly, laying her head on his shoulder.
I looked over at Ella, who gave me a tight-lipped, sad smile.
“I have so much to show you!” He tugged her hand, and she nodded, starting to walk after him down to the tree house, no doubt.
“She’s tired,” I said to Ella, taking her hand as we followed the kids.
“Exhausted. She had a transfusion while we were there, but her appetite is still off, her red counts are low, and she’s just… Is that a tree house?” Ella stopped, gawking up at the tree house we’d built between two pines.
“Like it?”
She laughed. “You built him a tree house. He always wanted one.” That laugh turned to a small indrawn breath as her face contorted with sadness for a moment. Then she squeezed my hand and forced a smile. “Thank you. Ryan…he and…well, you built it, and it’s amazing.”
Ryan and Chaos. I knew exactly where she’d been going with that one.
I’m right here. I never left you. But I did destroy you.
I didn’t say any of those things, simply kissed her wrist. “Want to see?”
“Yes!”
I led her to the ladder, where Colt and Maisie stood. “Okay, Colt, why don’t you take your mom up?”
“Okay!”
“You sure this thing can support our weight?” Ella asked as she watched Colt climb. The kid scurried up the ladder with a freakish quickness. He was going to be one hell of a climber when he grew up.
“It had half the search and rescue team on it last week,” I told her. “Unless you’re going up there with ten of you, we’re good.”
“Called in the big guns, huh?” she teased.
Colt screamed, and I looked up to see him fall from the top of the ladder.
Shit!
I stepped forward, arms outstretched and ready as Ella gasped.
Just before he would have reached me, he caught himself, his little hands grasping the thick center of the wooden rung.
“Colt!” Ella shrieked.
He found his footing on the rung above my hands and looked down on us with a huge grin. “That was cool.”
I sucked in a lungful of air and blew it out slowly, willing my heart to get out of my stomach. That kid was going to be the death of me.
“That was not cool!” Ella yelled, her voice pitched high and borderline panicked.
“I’m fine. See?” He let go of the ladder in a quick release and grabbed it again before falling back.
“Knock it off! I’ve spent weeks in the hospital with your sister, and I’m not prepared to go back!”
“Okay, okay,” he muttered and climbed back up, making it to the top of the ladder and disappearing through the hatch.
“You okay?” I asked Ella.
She took two steps and buried her face in my chest with a huge sigh.
“He’s fine. It was just a slip.” My arms closed around her, and I kissed the top of her head. “Accidents happen.”
“I don’t have enough energy for accidents. Can’t we just put them both in a bubble?”
“I’ll work on building one of those next.” I glanced over at Maisie, who was studying the tree house supports. “What do you think?”
“It’s awesome!” She grinned.
“Today, you’re my favorite.”
“I heard that!” Colt yelled down, directly above us. “Send her up or walk the plank!”
“No one is walking a plank,” Ella warned me as she left my arms and started up the ladder.
“There’s no plank,” I promised her.
“I think you have that backward,” Maisie called up to Colt. “We’re already down here.”
“Whatever! Get up here!”
“Watch this,” I told Maisie, pulling the net harness down from where it was stored on the tree. I spread it out with one hand and sat her in it with the other. “Now hold on to the sides.”
Her eyes lit up as the net rose around her, and she grasped the edges, hooking her fingers through the white loops. “Really?”
“Ella, prepare to receive!” I called up. I looked through the secondary hatch and saw Ella nod, confused but ready. Then I went to the pulley and started to heft Maisie upward.
“Ahhh! This is so cool!” she squealed.
She made it through the hatch, and Ella got her out of the seat. Then I took the ladder and met my little family on the porch. We were about fifteen feet in the air, and we’d chosen a spot where the kids could see the lake. The kids, who were currently checking out the cool things Colt had asked for in the tree house, like a table and chairs, a play kitchen, and a giant cardboard tube we’d painted red because he wanted to call the tree house “the Death Star.”
“This is amazing,” Ella said, wrapping her arms around my waist. “Ryan would have loved it.”
“Yeah, but he’d wanted a giant trampoline for Colt to jump on from up here.”
Her eyes flew wide.
“Well, Colt asked for a zip line.”
“From up here?”
“Hey, he’s your kid,” I said with a shrug and hugged her closer to me.
“I like this,” she whispered. “Coming home to you, knowing Colt wasn’t lonely.”
“Me, too.” I kissed her forehead. “It’s all really normal, and I know it sounds crazy, but I’m really loving normal. Spending time with you and the kids, getting you alone whenever I can, it’s really…”
“Perfect,” she supplied.