She stared at me for a beat, holding me in suspense; even so, I wasn’t prepared for her final words, smoothly and elegantly spoken.
“Ronan likes playing with his toys….” Her eyes lowered to the chain around my neck and the Celtic pendant as she added, “But he never notices when they break.”
Nothing, no words, no sentiment could have been more effective. I sucked in a sharp breath. My eyes stung with unshed tears. Dumbly, I stood from the table and stared at it. My heart beat a steady rhythm in my chest, seemed to chant, get out get out get out get out between my ears.
I was so stupid. I knew better. I knew better.
I reached for my coat and bag with shaking hands, muttering, “Thank you for the lovely breakfast. But I have…I need to be someplace.”
Lucy reached for my hand. I flinched away from her and didn’t miss the reproachful glare administered by her mother. “No! Don’t lis—”
“Let her go, Lucy. She has a lot to think about.”
I didn’t waste time pulling on my coat. I tucked it over my arm and made a beeline for the exit, stumbling a little in my haste, the need to escape choking me. Unfortunately, I had the worst timing in the world because Ronan was just leaving the hall leading to the bathrooms, and our gazes tangled as I made it to the hostess stand.
I winced, tore my eyes away, and swiftly bolted through the doors.
“Annie!”
My shoulders bunched at the sound of my name. He was behind me; he was coming after me, and he would catch me. There was no point in trying to outrun him. I stopped, grinding my teeth, my eyes closing as I put my feelings to the side, readied myself for what would come next.
He reached me in about five seconds, tugging on my arm and turning me to face him. I met his gaze briefly then yanked my arm out of his grip, pretended to be absorbed in putting my coat on.
“Where are you going?”
“I have someplace to be.”
“Where?”
I lifted my eyes then and glared at him. “None of your business.”
“None of my business?” I could see he thought I was joking at first. When he realized I was not, his features darkened, and a severe frown pulled his eyebrows into a sharp “V.” “Everything about you is my business.”
“No. It’s not.”
“I thought you understood how things are. We’re together now, and there are rules—”
“We’re not together,” I whispered, my eyes stinging again. I firmed my lips, willing myself not to cry.
“Like hell we’re not.” He reached for me, and I stepped to the side, evading him.
“Don’t touch me.”
He moved like he was going to reach for me again, and I stiffened, adding more force to my voice. “Don’t touch me; I mean it.”
That seemed to do the trick because he reeled back like I’d struck him, and he looked equal parts surprised and hurt.
“What happened?” His eyes searched me as though he were looking for a sign, an injury.
He wouldn’t find the injury because I’d never let him see it.
“I have to go.”
“Dammit, Annie. What the fuck is going on?”
“I promised Kurt we’d spend the day together.” It was such a low blow that even I flinched as I said the words. “I don’t want to keep him waiting. He doesn’t like that.”
Ronan winced, his eyes half blinking. Then he stared at me. He reminded me of a gathering storm, imminently threatening. He was so strong, so big, so powerful. But it wasn’t his body that was dangerous. His words, his looks and touches, his laughs and smiles…his lies.
And he looked hurt. His face told me that I’d hurt him. I felt myself soften toward him; my chin wobbled, but I quickly caught the instinct to soothe and comfort before I gave into it, into him and these feelings I had no right feeling because I knew better. I ripped my gaze from his and stuffed my hands in my coat pockets.
“I have to go,” I whispered.
“Go then.” His tone was flat, and he took a step back as though giving me a wide berth, showing me he wasn’t going to stand in my way.
I nodded, knowing with certainty that I was going to start crying in the next sixty seconds. I would cry all the way home. I was going to be that mad, insane crying woman, walking the streets of New York, sobbing like a fool.
Because there was nothing else to say, I left.
And I cried.
Chapter Fourteen
@RonanFitz: My phone keeps whistling at me. Anybody know how to shut it up?
@Irenelovesrugby: @RonanFitz If I were your phone, I’d be whistling at you too, sexy ;-) :-* <3 :-P
@RonanFitz: @Irenelovesrugby Something wrong with your keyboard, darlin. Shitload of nonsense at the end there.
Ronan
“Loooook, darling brother, I brought you a gift,” Lucy singsonged as she came into my room and draped a blue and green scarf around my neck. I took a glance at the label and saw it cost over two hundred dollars.
I let out a low whistle and said, “Pricey. What’s this for?”
She perched on the edge of my bed and crossed one leg over the other. “I thought a gift might cheer you up.”
I was sitting in a chair by the desk at the window, pathetically reading through all of the emails I’d swapped with Annie, aka The Socialmedialite, and trying to find a clue as to why she might’ve withdrawn. In other words, I was moping.
“And I thought you believed that happiness can’t be found through material possessions,” I countered, arching a brow.
Something passed over her face, but it was gone in an instant. Now she was smiling. “Ah, that’s true, but it doesn’t count for gift giving. Studies have actually proven that we derive far more happiness from buying things for other people than we do buying for ourselves.”
“Yeah, well, a scarf isn’t going to make me feel better,” I said and ran a hand down my face. “I really thought I’d made a breakthrough with Annie, and then she just rushes off like that during breakfast.” In all honesty, it was taking every ounce of my willpower not to go over to her place because thinking of her spending even a second with that overly coiffed dickhead of a neighbor made me want to break something, preferably his smug face.
Lucy sucked in a deep breath, and her words came out in a hurried, whispered tumble. “You know, I couldn’t say anything in front of Ma at the restaurant earlier, but I don’t think Annie’s rushing off had anything to do with her feelings for you. It wasn’t your fault. Ma was an absolute cow to her. She first insinuated that Annie was with you for the money, and then she…well, she made it sound like you’re not....”
I held my breath; I didn’t even blink. When Lucy didn’t continue, I pressed, “Like I’m not what?”
Lucy huffed, “Like you have ‘commitment issues,’ like you don’t believe in monogamy.”
I got up abruptly from my chair, jaw clenching, temper rising.
“She did what?” I asked, my voice low in disbelief.
“I’m sorry, but it’s what she said. You’re always away, whether you’re travelling with the team or coming to New York for a break. You don’t spend time with Ma the way that I do. You get her in small, palatable doses.” Her voice grew sad as she looked down at her hands in her lap. “Besides, you’re, like, her favorite person, so obviously she’s going to be nice to you. You don’t see the side of her that the rest of us see.”
Frowning, I walked toward her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Has she been giving you trouble?”
Lucy scoffed, but it seemed forced. “Hardly. Her remarks have just gotten worse the last few years. Before then, you were always around to temper her moods.”
“That’s not on. I’m going to have a word with her.”