The Five Stages of Falling in Love

“How do you know?” My chin trembled and my tears started all over again.

 

“Because Grady knew what a prize you were. Oh, you should have heard him brag about you to me. He just thought the world of you. He knew he had something special, something that any man would be beyond lucky to have. And he knew that the beauty in you wouldn’t die simply because he did.” She reached out and clasped my hand in between hers. “Liz, Grady loved you enough to want you to continue living long after he was gone. And I think he would approve of Ben. I think he would be very happy for you.”

 

“I thought you hated me.” I wiped at my eyes, but it was no use.

 

“Why would you think that?” she gasped.

 

“You saw us at the spring play and… and… I was so ashamed. Trevor hated him. I thought you must too! And hate me because I had moved on so quickly after Grady died.”

 

She shook her head forcefully. “No, no I never thought any of those things. Anyone that knows you can see what a struggle it’s been for you to lose him, and not just because of the kids or the house, but because you are hurting. Honey, I know you loved my son. That didn’t change because you met someone knew.”

 

“But you haven’t really talked to me in months! I thought… I thought we were making progress until Ben showed up and then…” I couldn’t say anything more. I wanted her to fill in the blanks.

 

She let out a pained chuckle. “I stayed away for Ben, not because of Ben. He seemed like such a wonderful man and just like with Grady, I could see how much he meant to you. I didn’t want to scare him away from you. I didn’t want him to be hesitant about a relationship because every time he came around, the mother of his girlfriend’s dead husband was there. I thought I was doing you a favor.”

 

I laughed through my tears as relief flooded me. I could never have anticipated that answer. Katherine was such a surprise. It was a shame I didn’t find this out before Grady passed away.

 

“Ben isn’t like that,” I assured her. “He… he isn’t afraid to be reminded of Grady. He isn’t intimidated by my grief. He somehow manages to help me deal with the pain and add more to my life than I deserve.”

 

“No, Sweetie…” She squeezed my hand, letting me know how serious she was. “You deserve all of the happiness you can find. That includes Ben. If you think you’re ready for something with him, then I think you should go for it. Go as far and fast as you want to. Your happily ever after is far from over.”

 

I blushed, realizing how much of my speech she had heard. “Thank you, Katherine.”

 

“No, Liz, thank you. Thank you for keeping me in your lives and bringing such joy to mine. It makes me so very proud of my son to know that he could find such a treasure.”

 

We sat there for another hour, talking about Grady and remembering little things he had said or did. We probably looked ridiculous sitting on the stiff grass, crying our eyes out. But we didn’t notice anyone else. It was just Katherine, me and Grady’s memory.

 

His ghost had drifted away and I was left with only the warm memories of a man I loved.

 

By the time we parted ways, I had a smile across my face and hope in my heart. I had also made a decision.

 

Ben was right. I didn’t have to give Grady up to be with him. I just had to be with Ben and trust that my love for both of them only made my life better.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Eight

 

 

I didn’t have to wait long to see Ben again. He came over that evening after he got home from work just like he’d said he would.

 

I was a little more put together than the last night. I had a plan for dinner, there were no surprise homework projects and Emma had stayed long enough for me to get a shower. My hair was fixed, I had makeup on and my kids were mostly taken care of.

 

He knocked politely and Abby ran to let him in. I forced myself to wait in the kitchen for him. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t want to do it in front of the kids.

 

We had things to say that they didn’t need to hear.

 

Still, I had softened to him so much that I couldn’t help but smile at him when he appeared in front of me.

 

He walked straight up to the counter where I stood chopping vegetables and greeted me first. I smiled at him, noticing that he had shaved and his clothes were more put together today.

 

He smiled back and said, “Hey.”

 

“Hey. Want to stay for dinner again?”

 

He tilted his head to the side and tried to figure me out. Good luck, buddy.

 

“Am I invited?”

 

I looked back down at my chopped carrots, “I just invited you.”

 

“Well, then I guess it depends on what we’re having.”

 

“Chicken pot pie.”

 

“Sounds better than takeout.”

 

“Depends. What kind of takeout?”

 

He frowned, “China Garden.”

 

I made a face. “I don’t know if it competes with China Garden. They have egg rolls.”

 

He set his elbows on the counter and stole a slice of carrot. “That’s true,” he conceded. “But you have math homework and chocolate milk.”

 

I leaned forward, closing some of the space between us. “Math homework does trump most other things.”

 

“Mmm,” he agreed. “I should come over here more often.”

 

“You probably should.”

 

“Ben, I need your help!” Blake shouted before Ben could fully absorb those words.

 

We both moved into survival mode as the dinner hour grew closer. The kids kept us busy and occupied throughout the meal. There wasn’t any opportunity for us to speak to each other, but I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.

 

Ben could feel or see the change in me, but he didn’t know what it meant yet.

 

He entertained the kids while I cleaned up the kitchen and by then it was time for them to head to bed. I pulled out the one purchase I’d made in town today by myself and set it on the kitchen counter.

 

He and the kids had started a mean game of hangman at the craft table, but when the wine appeared, Ben’s focus immediately shifted.

 

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