Again, his choice of words alarmed me. Where was this coming from? But I’d asked him to scrutinize our relationship. Yet another example of how I tended to sabotage things.
He wrapped his arms around my waist. “I promise to use my time away to think about everything you’ve said. As much as I don’t want to leave Meadowbrook yet, I think it will be good to put some distance between us while we think about what’s best. Things got intense between us fast. And I agree that we’re at a point of no return—we’re both setting ourselves up to get hurt if we’re not on the same page. I need to be sure that what I want and what I can deliver are one and the same.” He pulled me into a tight hug. “You’ve changed me and made me want things I’ve never wanted before. But at the same time, I recognize what an incredible honor and responsibility it would be to own your heart. And I will not toy with it.”
Dread overtook me as I pulled away. “It’s late. I should get to bed. Will I see you again before you leave?”
“I would love that, if I can come by on a weeknight.”
I swallowed. “Of course.”
After he left, my stomach was in knots. I’d made myself clear to Troy, but I guess I’d wanted him to tell me I was nuts for thinking we might not work out. He hadn’t exactly done that.
? ? ?
The following day at work, I’d just finished a singalong when I decided to stop in at Ruby Blandford’s room. Ruby was eighty-seven and loved romance novels and Blue Moon beer. She was also a distant relative on my mother’s side, so she always referred to me as cousin or cuz. Whenever I felt down, I’d stop into Ruby’s room, which let more sun in than any of the other units at Horizons. Framed photos of her grandchildren covered the walls.
I helped her with her laundry for a few minutes, but she finally put down the item she’d been knitting. “Something on your mind, cuz?”
“Why do you say that?”
“You seem a little distracted. You just put your phone in my drawer along with the shirts you helped me fold.”
Jesus. I was dangerous when I was distracted. “I did? I’m sorry.” I opened the drawer and sure enough, my phone was sitting there on top of one of her blouses.
“Don’t apologize. Tell me what’s wrong. You look a bit down.”
I hadn’t shed a tear over the situation with Troy since our talk last night, and I’d vowed not to, especially in front of Kiki.
But Ruby’s simple question caused my eyes to well up.
She noticed right away. “Oh, dear.”
Wiping a lone tear, I sniffled. “I’m not supposed to be doing this at work.”
“You’re not at work. You’re technically in my house—or at least the only house I have. See that sign?” She pointed to an embroidered wall hanging. “Home sweet home? I make the rules in this space. So, tell me what has you so sad.”
The words that came out of my mouth were a surprise. “I think I’m in love.”
There was no other explanation for how sick to my stomach I felt at the first real threat of losing what I had with Troy.
“Well, that’s a beautiful thing. Why are you crying?”
“Because I don’t think I realized it until I felt like I was about to lose him. I am about to lose him. And it’s partly my fault.”
“Why are you losing him?”
I took a seat across from her. “I sort of gave him an ultimatum—not in so many words, but I asked him to assess whether a long-term relationship with me was what he really wanted before we took things any further. You see, he’s never been the monogamous type. So, I think we’re gonna be on a break while he goes back to Seattle to take care of some business. He technically lives there. The whole thing was my suggestion, but almost the second he agreed with me, I felt devastated. I think I wanted him to try to talk me out of it. The fear I felt when he didn’t made me realize how strong my feelings are. I already miss him, and he hasn’t even left yet.”
Ruby snapped her fingers. “Wait, this is Louie’s grandson, isn’t it?”
I’d never said anything to her about dating Troy. “How did you know?”
“When you said Seattle, it hit me. He’s a nice kid. I’ve spoken to him, and I knew he was from out of town. Plus, I remember that little duet you did at The Carpenters singalong.”
“Yeah, you got me. It’s Troy Serrano.”
“No secrets among family, you hear?” She winked. “You can tell me anything. It’s safe with me.”
“Thank you, Ruby.”
“You’ve heard the term absence makes the heart grow fonder, of course?”
“Yeah...”
“Well, sometimes absence takes out the trash.” She chuckled. “Trust me, if he doesn’t come back to you, you never had him to begin with. This little separation will be good. It will prove once and for all whether you mean something to him.”
Is it really that black and white? “What if he cares about me, but doesn’t think he’s cut out for a long-term relationship?”
She shook her head. “No such thing. Either you love someone enough to take the chance on yourself or you don’t. End of story.”
? ? ?
Later that afternoon, I was shocked to find Troy pacing in the hallway in front of his grandfather’s room.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming today,” I called as I approached.
He breathed out a sigh of relief. “There you are. They said they didn’t know where you were.” Despite the worried expression on his face, Troy looked amazingly handsome in a black wool coat and scarf, as if he’d just walked out of a men’s clothing catalog. His thick, gorgeous hair was wind-blown.
“I was talking to one of the residents. Is everything okay?”
“The meeting I have to attend for work got pushed up to early tomorrow morning. That means I have to take the next flight out. I’m headed to the airport.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. “We won’t get to spend time together before you leave?”
His forehead wrinkled. “No. I’m afraid not. But I couldn’t leave without seeing you. So I came to say goodbye.”
The whole thing didn’t sit right with me, even if he had no control over the situation.
He looked devastated. “I’m so sorry, Aspyn.”
My throat tightened. Was he sorry for leaving early or in anticipation of something else? I shoved my concerns aside. “You can’t help it, right? There’s nothing to be sorry for.” My entire body tensed in an attempt to fight the feelings of sadness and longing.
“Do you think you could sneak outside for a couple of minutes so we can have a moment alone?” he asked.
I checked my phone. We had a trip to the outlet mall scheduled, and the van would be boarding soon. “I have just a few minutes before we have to leave for a trip.”
Troy followed me out a side door. It was chilly out, and I hadn’t put on a jacket. The cold air seeped through the thin material of my scrubs.
Troy looked down at me. “Of course you have to be wearing my favorite scrubs right now. As if leaving wasn’t painful enough.” He forced a smile.
I rubbed my arms. “Did you have something to say to me in private? Is that why you wanted to be alone?”