Ten Tiny Breaths (Ten Tiny Breaths #1)

Trent’s jaw tenses. “I mean it, Kacey. Five minutes, in private. I need to explain something. I need … you.”

“Oh, you need me? Interesting.” I force the words through clenched teeth. Inside, the glue that holds me together strains against that word. Need. Trent needs me. “Fine.” I slap my towel down onto the bar and holler, “back in five, Storm.”

She looks over, sees Trent, glances at me with concern, but then nods.

“Come with me.” I stomp past him, acutely aware that Nate and Ben are following close, but I continue. I march past Jeff and Bryan, the two bull dog bouncers who watch over the private rooms. They don’t try to stop me. I’m sure my stiff spine and scowl that says “back the fuck away before I choke you with your own tongue” has something to do with that.

My leg flies forward to kick open the door to an available room. Spinning on my heels, I stand with arms folded across my chest, watching Trent’s lean body and his apprehensive face come towards me. Jerking my head toward the room, I command, “Get in.”

“Kacey …”

“You said private. How much more private can you get than a private room?” I ask, my tone coated with ice.

With a defeated sigh and a small nod, Trent passes through. Behind him, I see Ben lean in to say something to Nate. It seems to keep the beast at bay. Ben heads toward me with a look of concern. “You okay, Kacey?”

“What do you think, Ben?”

His chin furrows in thought. “I think I’ll stand guard out here. I won’t come in. Not unless I hear something that sounds bad, deal?”

“Deal.” I offer him a small nod of appreciation. I think, after our sordid past, Ben and I have come to an understanding. I may even call him a friend.

I storm into the room, slamming the door behind me. Inside is a small dimly lit space with a black lounge chair and mood music, different from what plays out in the main club area. Storm says they have staff to thoroughly clean and sanitize the rooms after each client leaves. Even if that’s not true, right now I don’t care.

I stalk over to where Trent stands and I shove him backward into the lounge chair. Then my hand fumbles with the side zipper of my skirt.

“What are you …” Trent begins to ask but his words die as I unzip my skirt and let it drop to the ground. I step out of the skirt as my hands move to unbutton my gauzy blouse, starting at the top, sliding buttons through eyelets deftly.

“Kacey, no.” Trent leans forward.

My three inch heel slamming into his chest forces him back into his seat.

“This is what you came for, isn’t it? This is what you need?” My tone is as cold as a deep freeze. “What you’ve always wanted?” I toss my shirt on the floor and glower back at him in nothing but my bra, panties, and heels. “This is the part where you tell me I’m so beautiful. So say it. Say it so we can get this over with, and you can disappear again.” My voice wavers a bit at the end and I clam up, not trusting it right now.

“No, Kacey. Jeez.” Trent slides off the chair onto his knees, his hands finding their way to my thighs to hold them delicately.

“No touching the girls. Did you forget the rules already?” I sneer at him.

His eyes haven’t left mine, and in them I see a torrent of indescribable emotion that threatens to melt all of my defenses. I have to break his gaze and look away, a lump forming in my throat that I can’t seem to shove down.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted to cause you more pain that you’ve had to endure.”

“Really? Leaving me a vague note the morning after Storm’s attack—after we have sex for the first time—and then disappearing for almost three weeks is your way of not causing me more pain?” My voice cracks and I grit my teeth. I hate my voice.

His head bows forward against my belly as his hands slide up to my hips before moving back down to my thighs again. They feel so good. I don’t want them to feel good. Damn, traitorous thighs. Fight it, Kacey. Fight it.

“Kacey, I was wrong.”

I swallow. “About?”

“About pushing you like I did. I thought if you opened up about your past, I could somehow fix it for you. I shouldn’t have kept pushing you like that.” I suck in a gasp as I feel a set of warm lips trail my belly. He knows that’ll melt my defenses. He’s not playing fair. Worse, in this moment I don’t want him to play any other way. “I should have just focused on making you happy. And I will. From now on, Kacey. I will. I will devote every day for the rest of our lives to making you happy. I promise.”

Will not buy it. Will not buy it. “You’ve said that before. And then you vanished.” I don’t like the way my tone falters, like I’m about to cry. One … two … three… four…

Fuck. Useless.

He leans back on his heels and his hands slide down my thighs again. He doesn’t meet my eyes though, choosing instead to stare at the floor between us. When he speaks, his jaw is set with a hint of anger. “Kacey, you’re not the only one with issues. I’m fucked up, okay? There are things about my past that I don’t know how to tell you. That I can’t tell you.”

His admission catches me off guard. Trent with a dark past? I’ve never once even contemplated that. Why have I not contemplated that? I’ve been so wrapped up in my own issues that I haven’t even thought of his, that’s why. But how dark could anything from his past really be? With a shaky finger, I reach out and gently push his chin up so his head tilts back, so those beautiful blue irises can pull me in. He seems so level-headed, so well-adjusted, so perfect.

“I’ve never once pushed you to divulge your skeletons,” I say, my tone softer, without bitterness.

“I know. I know, Kace.” Trent’s grip on my thighs tightens as he draws me closer to him. His fingertips slide up to grasp my hips in their entirety, his thumbs sliding along my pelvic bone, lighting a tiny spark of need mixed among these emotional flames already burning bright. My hands instinctively slide down to cover his.

He continues. “After that night, I … I thought I pushed you too hard. I thought I caused what happened the night Storm was attacked.”

I shudder with the reminder. My dark side. My murderous side. “You didn’t cause that, Trent. That was me, finally coming unhinged.”

“I know, babe. I know that now. But I had to get away and think. I had to walk away for a while and—”

“You could have sent me a message.”

“I know. I fucked up. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to explain why I ran off. I was scared.” One look up shows me the tears welling in his eyes. All my rage extinguishes, all my defenses shatter.

I can’t handle seeing Trent like this.

“No, it’s okay.” My hand strokes the back of his head with nothing but compassion while my other one wipes the tear away. Who is this person talking? She’s not the one who ran around the apartment on a tirade, stalking the news, and ready to mutilate Ken dolls.

“I’m so sorry, Kacey. I’ll stop pushing you. No more talk of past. None. Just the future. Please? I need you.”

Again, that need word. I can’t even speak. I only nod.

But that’s enough for Trent. Strong fingers flexed at my hips tug me down. I willingly drop to my knees. Trent pulls me to him so our bodies hold tight against each other. Warm hands find their way across my bare back to unclasp my bra. He casts it aside and reaches forward to cup my breasts at the same time that his mouth finally finds mine.

The feel of his lips sends a wave of irrepressible hunger through my body in a shudder. Three weeks without this. I don’t know how I survived. I reach down and fumble with his shirt. I want it off. Now. I want my bare skin against his. Now.