Ten Tiny Breaths (Ten Tiny Breaths #1)

Pushing inside me.

Making me whole.

***

It’s still dark outside when I wake again. This time my head rests on Trent’s chest, my body entwined with his. His fingers doodling over my back tells me he’s awake. It’s not a nightmare that’s woken me up this time. It’s Storm and Dan’s raised voices through the wall.

“He could have killed you, Nora,” Dan yells. “Forget the money. You don’t need the money.”

Storm’s voice isn’t nearly as loud or booming, but I manage to hear it all the same.

“You think I spent all those years training with a place like Penny’s as my goal? I screwed up, Dan. I made bad choices and I have to live with them. For now. For Mia.”

“Mia is who I’m thinking about. What if that guy killed you tonight? Who would take care of her? Her father? From prison?” There’s a quiet moment and then Dan starts yelling again. “I don’t know if I can do this, Nora. I can’t be afraid you’re going to die every time you go to work.”

I snort. “Look who’s talking,” I mutter to myself, but then I bite my tongue. This is between them.

“Well, I’m not making decisions based on what some man wants because when you’re gone and I’m still here, I have to live with the outcome.” I hear her voice crack at the end and I know she’s crying. The yelling dies down and I’m glad. I don’t want to hear Dan and Storm break up.

“Can I ask you something without you getting angry, Kacey?” Trent asks into the darkness.

“Uh huh,” I agree without thinking.

“What do you know about the driver who hit your car?”

My body instantly tenses. “He was drunk.”

“And?”

“And nothing.”

“Nothing at all? No name, face, anything?”

I pause, deciding if I want to answer. “Name. That’s it.”

“Do you remember it?”

I inhale sharply. I’ll never forget. “Sasha Daniels.”

“What happened to him?”

“He died.”

There’s a long pause as Trent continues drawing swirls on my back and I start to believe the conversation is over. Stupid girl. “Was he alone?”

I hesitate but decide to answer. “He had two friends. Derek Maynard and Cole Reynolds. Derek and Sasha weren’t wearing seat belts. They were both thrown from their vehicle.”

My head rises and lowers with Trent’s deep breath. “Has the survivor—this Cole guy—made contact with you?”

I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth of Trent’s chest, fighting the dread as he drags me back into the deep, dark place. “His family tried. I filed restraining orders and told the police that if any of them so much as approach me or Livie, I’d kill them all.” At the time, I was bound to a bed and unable to move, let alone murder. Still, the cops came through with passing the message along.

Now though, now I know I’m capable of anything.

Of murder.

Trent’s fingers stop drawing on my back and he hugs me protectively. “I’m going to suggest something, Kacey. Please don’t get mad.”

I don’t answer. I just listen to his heartbeat. I let it consume me. I feel it with every fiber of my body.

“I think you should meet this Cole guy. Maybe there’d be some sort of closure. You two are the only survivors of a horrific accident. You have something in common.”

Now I sit up. I sit up and stare at Trent. I stare at him like he’s grown five heads and set three of them on fire and the other two are eating the flaming heads. Pacing my racing heart and calming myself, I speak.

“I will say this once and never again.” My voice is even. I don’t yell, I don’t cry, I don’t shake. “I do not want to see, or talk to, or know Cole Reynolds.” The name twists my mouth with distain. “It was his car that plowed into ours. He handed his keys to his friend who then shattered my life to smithereens. I hope wherever he is, he is suffering. I hope everyone he loves has abandoned him. I hope he doesn’t have a dime and has to eat cat food and maggots. I hope he goes to sleep every night and wakes up reliving that terrible night. Reliving what he did to me. To Livie.” I let out a vacuous sigh and lie back down on Trent’s chest as if unloading that sheer magnitude of hatred is somehow liberating. “And then I hope his balls catch on fire.” My voice is cold and hard. I don’t bother to conceal the hatred of my words. I unleash full-heartedly. I revel in it. Hatred good. Forgiveness bad.

Silence takes over as Trent’s arms tighten around me, his chin resting on the top of my head. I feel a new tension in him and I’m not surprised. I stare at the wall and wonder just how screwed up Cole Reynolds’ life really is. I wonder if he’s resorted to working in a strip club to give his sister the life she deserves. I wonder if he had to abandon his dreams of college. I wonder if he winces in pain with every rain fall because his body is held together with metal.

But most of all, I wonder what Trent thinks of his pretty little fucked up redhead now.

***

I wake up to an empty room and a note on my pillow. Five words.

Had to go. I’m sorry.

I assume Trent has a new work contract. Still, I’m disappointed. I could use another dose of his body if he’s willing to administer. I roll out of bed and stretch, the horror of last night at Penny’s pushed aside in favor of my memories of a night with Trent. It’s been so long since I felt that. Scratch that. I never felt that. Sex was never like that with Billy. I cared deeply about him, but we were young and inexperienced. Trent’s not inexperienced. Trent knows exactly what he’s doing and he does it very well. And, something’s just different with Trent. He’s like ripe watermelon after a lifetime of thirst. He’s like air after years under water.

He’s like life.





Stage Six~ Withdrawal





Chapter Fourteen





I walk into Storm’s apartment to find Mia waiting expectantly like a wide-mouth bass while Dan, in striped boxers no less, tosses Cheerios into her mouth. I guess Storm and Dan made up. Relief swells inside me. I like seeing Storm with him.

He stops the game to take me in with a worried look. “How are you feeling today?”

“Good.” I smile as I pop a Cheerio into my mouth. Dan doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know how skilled I am at entombing horrid memories. I’m a master. In only hours, it’s all but forgotten and, as long as no one brings it up, it will stay that way. I walk over to Storm, who’s mixing batter in a big glass bowl. “Pancakes?” She holds up a ladle.

I nod, patting my stomach. “Did you see Livie this morning?”

Storm nods. “She left for school not long ago.” She drops a spoonful of pancake mix onto the griddle and the kitchen fills with the sizzling sound. She fixes me with the same worried look that Dan just gave me. “How are you feeling, really?”

“I’m … good. I’m better.”

“You sure? Dan knows a guy you can talk to if it’ll help.”

I shake my head. “I’m good. Seeing you here, alive and well, and serving me pancakes is all I need.” I rub her back with one hand as I grab a plate of food with the other. Yup, this is exactly what I need. Storm and Mia, and Livie and Trent. Even Dan. This all I need right now.

***

Me: I have the night off. You coming over?

I wait and wait but I get no text response from Trent. Impatient, I walk over to his apartment and knock. No answer. His place is pitch black. Then I wander out to the commons on a fake mission to inspect the hibachi. Really, I want to see if Trent’s bike is there. It is. I go and knock on his door again and wait. Still no response.

Cain won’t let either of us work that night. In fact, he’s forced Storm to take an entire week with danger pay. I’ll bet Dan is happy about that. By the light bounce in Storm’s step, I think she’s okay with it too. I would be happy too. If Trent was here.

I don’t hear from Trent the next day.

Or the next.