ohn William woke up, amazed again that he'd been able to sleep at all. The previous night, with his body stretched to its full length on the makeshift bedroll, he swore he'd not see a minute's rest. The length of the oil-skinned tarp was barely six feet long, so he had to choose between subjecting his head or his heels to the damp of the bare ground. All of the bedding he'd brought from the cabin he shared with Katherine was inside the wagon serving as a comparatively luxurious bed for Gloria. He himself was covered with a coarse, small wool blanket that would not cover him completely if he lay flat on his back. When he did so, his shoulder blades rested on different levels, and a pebble lodged itself into the base of his spine. But the exhaustion of the day soon overtook him, and his physical discomfort was lost in waves of sleep.
Now, opening his eyes to the familiar gray just before dawn, he gingerly flexed his legs as if unfamiliar with their function. Then, just as he had for the past two weeks since leaving Silver Peak, he coaxed his limbs into doing his bidding and began to prepare for another day's journey. He rose slowly, working out the kinks and cramps as he stretched to his full height. He'd slept in the clothes he wore the day before, and now he stripped off his shirt and made his way to the stream they'd made camp next to. He knelt to splash his face with stinging cold water and scoop handfuls of it over his arms, chest, and back. He allowed the last of the night air to dry his body on the walk back to camp. Once there, he took a clean shirt from the satchel lashed to the side of the wagon and pressed an ear against the canvas to see if there was any stirring inside.
There were no sounds coming from within, save for the deep steady breathing of Gloria and the babies. He vaguely remembered hearing a few muted cries and whispers sometime during the night, but the depth of his fatigue kept him from rousing fully Gloria slept in a nest of quilts, Danny and Kate within an arm's reach. John William had never been invited into that sanctuary but every night he peeked in to see that they were settled comfortably.
Now he stood outside the canvas and whispered, “Gloria?”
No response. He cleared his throat and spoke again, a little louder.
“Gloria? Are you awake?”
When there was still no answer, he opened the flap at the back of the wagon and peered into the warm, dark space. He saw the tangled mass of blond curls just inches away and debated whether to reach in and nudge the shoulder hidden beneath it.
“Gloria. It's almost daylight and—”
“Shhh.” The sound was almost imperceptible.
“You need to—”
“Shhh!”
Now the blond mass was moving as Gloria raised herself to one elbow and turned to look at John William. Her hair was loose and covered her face at such an angle that only one eye, barely blue in the dawning light, could be seen. He got just a glimpse of a bare, white shoulder and quickly turned away.
“If you say another word and wake up those babies I'll kill you,” Gloria said, no hint of humor to her whispered tone. “Danny just went back to sleep.”
“Those babies can sleep as long as they like,” John William said, “but the sun's near up and we got to get breakfast and hit the trail before the day's gone.”
“I don't cook, remember?” Gloria said, burrowing into her nest.
“Maybe you don't cook it,” John William said, “but you sure do eat it and you sure will clean up the mess, so you best get yourself out here before I start bangin’ the skillet till those babies holler.”
He dropped the tent flap, wishing he had a door to slam, and wondered, as he had just about every day since that first morning when Gloria climbed up on the wagon seat with her little green case, just how his life had taken this turn.
He strode to the front of the wagon, hauled the cook box off the front seat, and rummaged through it. There were biscuits left from last night's supper wrapped in the blue tea towels that had been a wedding gift from Katherine's sister, a few slices of salt pork, and three eggs. This meal would just about exhaust their food supply, leaving just a few apples and a hefty wedge of cheese for lunch. He fully expected to make Fort Bridger before sundown.
The coffee was simmering on the little cookstove on the campfire when Gloria emerged from the wagon. Her hair was pulled back in a single loose braid that dangled to the small of her back. She wore a white cotton chemise, loosely laced, with a heavy green shawl draped over her shoulders. Her eyes were still half-closed, and her steps unsteady She took a tin cup from the hook where it dangled, drying after last night's washing.
“Coffee,” she mumbled.
John William answered with a rough gesture toward the pot. Gloria remained, immobile, holding her cup in front of her. After a moment, she gave up, huffed, and reached for the pot herself.
“Use a towel,” John William said. Burning her fingers on the coffeepot handle had become an almost daily ritual.
“I know,” Gloria said, her voice tinged with resentment. She reached for the blue tea towel, and the leftover biscuits tumbled into the dirt. She whispered a curse and squinted up at John William.
“Sorry.”
“Not a problem,” John William said, his voice a mixture of amusement and annoyance. “We can just dust ‘em off.”
He watched Gloria blink and shake her head, apparently trying to focus on pouring the coffee. This morning it was a fairly successful accomplishment; only a few drops sloshed over the edge of the cup and onto the biscuits at her feet. John William, deciding it was worth the risk, held out his cup.
“Ill take some more of that.”
“Certainly," Gloria said, her voice filled with exaggerated courtesy. She angled the pot over the cup and filled it just to the top.
“Very good, Miss Gloria,” John William said, carefully bringing the cup to his lips. “You've made quite an improvement. Do you feel up to fryin’ a few eggs?”
“Listen, MacGregan. The deal was that I feed your daughter, not that I feed you.”
Gloria settled onto one of the campstools and wrapped both her hands around her cup.
“Right, then,” John William said, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. “Do you think you can bring yourself to clean off the biscuits you dropped?”
“I think I'm up to that.” Gloria picked them up one by one, swiped them across her skirt, and deposited them on the plate they had fallen from.
“Better?”
John William took a biscuit from the plate, dunked it into his coffee, and popped it, whole, into his mouth. They passed several minutes in comfortable silence, sipping coffee and listening to the sizzling of salt pork in the frying pan. When it was cooked through, John William drained most of the fat into the drippings jar, leaving some in the pan to fry the eggs. He broke them one at a time, careful not to let the whites run together.
“I'll fry them hard,” he said. “Don't want to waste the yolks.”
Gloria made a contented-sounding noise through a sip of coffee.
“Plates?”
Gloria rose dutifully to get the plates from their drying rack at the back of the wagon. She handed one to John William, and on it he placed a slice of salt pork, two eggs, and two biscuits.
“Eat up,” he said. “We're in for a long day.”
Gloria took the plate from him and returned to her seat. She dug in with her fork and didn't look up until John William was settled across from her. He bowed his head over his plate and sensed that Gloria stopped chewing mid-bite.
“Dear God," he prayed, “we thank You for this food You have provided for us. We thank You for the strength it will provide for us as we journey this day. Bless our journey Keep me on the path You would have me follow. Give us the strength to overcome’ our obstacles. Watch over me and Gloria and little Danny and Kate. Amen.”
He opened his eyes and looked at Gloria and waited for her to echo his “amen.” She didn't. She never had. Instead she swallowed the bit of food sheltered in her mouth during the blessing and gestured toward his plate with her fork.
“You don't want the other egg?” she asked.
“No, no. You eat it.”
“What about our long day?”
“It'll be longer listenin’ to you complain all day about being hungry.”
“You know," she said, dunking a biscuit into her coffee, “if you ate more you might not need to pray for strength.”
“I could eat an ox a day and still need to rely on my Lord,” John William said with such an air of finality that Gloria returned to her breakfast, eating with a little less relish.
When they'd finished, John William harnessed the horses while Gloria went to wash the dishes in the stream. When she returned, John William was struck by the difference in her appearance. Her pale face was tinged with pink, he guessed from a cleansing splash of the cold water. Her hair was damp, smoothed away from her face. The loose braid was now a tight plait, twisted and secured to the back of her head. She wore a pale blue blouse, tucked into her gray skirt. A wide leather belt emphasized her slim waist. She looked proper, almost severe, like a woman who would promptly throw away a biscuit that landed on the ground.
He watched her approach, the sun now full up and strong. When he saw her raise her hand, he lifted his to return the greeting, only to realize that she was shielding her eyes and did not see him in the early morning glare. Feeling foolish, he dropped his hand and returned to his task.
Just then, a lusty cry came from within the wagon.
“Somebody's awake,” he said.
“Sounds like Kate.” Gloria loaded the clean dishes into the cook box, and together they hoisted it to its place below the wagon's seat.
“Can we get started? Or do you want to feed her first?”
“It's late, isn't it? I can feed her in the wagon. Danny will be up soon, too.”
Gloria grasped the wagon seat and began to climb up.
“Let me help you,” John William said. He took her elbow and held her steady as she climbed over the wheel and settled herself on the wooden seat. Once settled, she turned, reached through the canvas opening at the front of the wagon, and plucked the impatient Kate, now fairly screaming, from the little wooden crate that served as her crib for this journey She began unbuttoning her blouse, and John William turned away, running his fingers over the harnesses. Satisfied, he walked one more circuit around the wagon, checking to be sure that the fire was out and all their belongings were gathered and secured.
“Ready?” he asked, glancing up at Gloria.
“Could you hand me my hat?” she said. “It's just in the back.”
“Of course. Wouldn't want you to burn.”
He walked to the back of the wagon and found the calico bonnet.
“Here you are,” he said, holding it up to her.
“Could you help me?” Gloria shrugged in gesture to the greedily nursing Kate. “My hands are full.”
“So they are.”
When he joined her on the seat, she bowed her head for him to put the bonnet on. He hadn't been this close to her since the day he asked her to join him on this journey The top of her head was just inches from his eyes, and he marveled for just a moment at the myriad colors that nestled against each other before blurring that vision with blue calico. Once the bonnet was settled on her head, Gloria lifted her face, and John William looked down the shadowy tunnel into her eyes.
“Don't choke me.”
“What?” Her question jarred him from his brief reverie.
“When you tie it. Don't choke me.”
“Don't tempt me,” he said. But as his fingers grazed the softness of her throat and cheek, he knew that choking her was not the temptation he would need to guard against.
“That's good,” Gloria said. “That feels right.”
“So the princess is ready to proceed?” Just then, Kate gave a happy little kick that thrust a foot outside of the blanket she was wrapped in. John William caught the tiny foot in his hand, brought it to his lips. “Excuse me. Are the princesses ready to proceed?”
“We are, sir,” Gloria said. “Drive on.”
John William hopped down, picked his own hat off the peg on the side of the wagon, and shoved it onto his head. He gave the horse a friendly slap on its flank and took the first steps of the thousands he would take that day.
Lead me not into temptation.
The words had never had such meaning before.
Deliver me from evil
But the glance over his shoulder yielded a vision that didn't seem evil. A woman, yes. But a woman demurely covered, face hidden, nourishing his child.
Katherine's child.
Katherine.
John William had been awake for nearly two hours this day, and this was the first time her name entered his head. He found himself pushing away blond tangles to make way for a picture of Katherine's dark features—plain, but beautiful in their own way.
Lord, I rely on You for my strength. Give strength to my thoughts. Give strength to my heart. Give strength to my body.
“Especially my body” he said aloud.
“What was that?” Gloria asked from her wagon perch.
“Just praying.”
“Again?”
“Always.”