I got what I wanted. Mostly. After a slow ride back to the truck and trailer, a Forest Service team escorting us halfway, Hayes took me to his house since mine was a crime scene. He hadn’t forced me to a hospital, but he’d had the town doctor check me out with Hadley serving as his assistant. I hadn’t needed stitches, but I did have another mild concussion.
Now, after a shower that Hayes had demanded he take with me, I was clean and propped up on his couch with a world of people swarming about. Julia and Gabe. Shiloh and Hadley. And my Addie.
Hayes brushed the hair away from my face. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to sleep?”
“No. I want to be right here.” I wanted to bask in the light of the family I was making for myself.
“Stop trying to mother her, Bubby,” Hadley said as she bustled in from the kitchen and handed me a ginger ale.
I took a long sip of the bubbly sweetness. “Thanks, Hads.”
She gave me a wink. “Anytime.”
“Chicken and dumplings are almost done,” Julia called from the kitchen where she’d been cooking up a storm with Addie’s assistance and Gabe hovering.
Hadley plopped down on the opposite side of the couch. “It’s my favorite meal when I’m not feeling great. I’m pretty sure it cures all.”
“She’s not wrong there,” Hayes said, lacing his fingers through mine.
I caught sight of Shiloh through the windows. She’d needed space since returning from searching for me. When she’d walked into the house, she’d made a beeline for me, hugging me tightly and whispering, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Then she’d simply left.
“She needs to walk it off,” Gabe had told me.
She was back, but she’d made her home on the front porch swing. I knew this had brought up hard things for her—ghosts and demons rearing their ugly heads. But Shiloh was one of the strongest people I knew. She would make it through this, too. We all would.
I pressed into Hayes’ side. “I love you.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I knew before you could say the words.”
I tipped my head back to take in his face. “Cocky.”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “No. You showed me without ever saying the words.”
Everything in me warmed, and I burrowed into his chest, feeling only more of that peace. “I like giving you the words, too.”
“I like hearing them. And, Ev?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you, too.”
His words wrapped around me, only burying that peace into me. It was so deep now, I knew it would never leave.
47
Hayes
“That face looks serious. Bad news?” Everly asked from her spot in my bed.
I made my way towards her. I didn’t want to tell her. I wanted to lie to keep the relief that had lived on her face for the past few hours in place, but I’d never lie to Ev. “They found him.”
She visibly swallowed. “That’s good. I mean, his family deserves closure—”
“He’s alive.”
“What?” She straightened against the pillows. “How is that even possible?”
“My bullet caught him in the shoulder. A Forest Service team found him downriver. He’s in surgery right now, but they say he’ll make it.” I was trying not to be annoyed that it had taken Ruiz hours to call to give me the news. He was dealing with a storm and needed to work by the book.
I slid back under the covers, back to Everly and her warmth. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against my chest. “This doesn’t change that you’re safe. Young and Williams brought Ian in for questioning, too. They’re holding him for as long as they can.”
“I know I’m safe. I just…”
“What?”
She traced circles on the planes of my chest. “I don’t know how to feel. On the one hand, I’m relieved that I’m not the reason he’s dead—”
“You never would’ve been the reason. Ben’s actions are what brought him to that place, not yours.”
“I know that in my head…”
I pressed my lips to her hair. “But your heart’s a different story.”
“Yes.”
And Ev’s heart would always bleed for others. Her soul would take on more responsibility than it needed to. But I couldn’t wish that away. Not when it was also her greatest strength. How she could reach people and animals in a way no one else could. The way she saw more than anyone else. Those were some of the things I loved most about Ev, and I couldn’t wish them away. Even if I knew one of the downsides of her gift was pain. I would simply have to be there to ease that hurt.
I brushed the hair away from her face. “I love you, Ev. We’ll get through this. You’re so damn strong.”
“And having you just makes me stronger.” Her fingers moved from drawing circles on my pec to figure eights. “I realized something when he had me.”
Just the words had images filling my mind, things that would haunt me forever, but I forced my muscles to relax as I held her. “What’s that?”
“You’re my resting place.”
It wasn’t anything I’d ever been called before, anything I’d ever aspired to. But in that moment, there was no higher compliment or calling.
Everly looked up at me. “I’ve never had that before. You helped me find my peace.”
My throat burned as I stared down at the woman who owned me, body and soul. “I feel it, too. Never felt more at ease than when I’m with you. I think we created that peace together.”
“Never felt anything more beautiful.”
And we were never going to lose it. I would marry her tomorrow if she’d let me. But I knew that might be a bit much for her. I knew it would come, though. That day where we stood up and promised forever to each other. But forever had already begun.
Everly tilted her head and brushed her lips against mine. The feel and taste of her eased the bit of me that was still on edge. That fear still clawing at muscle and sinew, feral and vicious. Even holding her in my arms hadn’t totally sated that beast. Because even though she was safe now, I’d still almost lost her.
Everly deepened the kiss, her tongue stroking mine, silently asking for more. It was all I wanted, and yet, I couldn’t. I gently took her face in my hands, pulling away from the kiss with a groan. “We can’t. You need to rest. Heal.”
She wouldn’t say it, but I knew Ev was hurting. I could see it in the way she’d moved up the stairs tonight. The last thing I wanted was to cause her any more pain.
Her hand pressed against my bare chest. “I need you, Hayes.”
No other words could’ve broken my resolve. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. But I need this. You. Us. I need to remember that I’m alive, and I haven’t lost you.”
My hand slipped beneath the borrowed t-shirt she wore, finding only bare skin. “You’ll never lose me.”
She looked up at me, almost pleading. “Then show me.”