I know much of this will come a day late and more than a dollar short, but better that than not at all. Even once the doctors told me the cancer had a hold, I couldn’t bring myself to call you, to tell you these things face-to-face as I should’ve. So, I’ll take the coward’s way out. That won’t be anything new. There were so many times I should’ve stood up but didn’t.
But that’s not you. You’ve always been the bravest person I’ve ever known. Even before that night. I should’ve told you, but I didn’t—I’m so proud of you, beautiful girl. You made yourself into this amazing warrior all on your own, without any help from your dad or me.
I wish I had a chance to truly see you shine now. That’s the price for my sins. To miss all of your beauty and light shining on this world.
This should’ve come so long ago, but I’m sorry. For not being there for you. For not getting your father the help he needed. For not taking you and your siblings away when things went sideways. I’m so very sorry that I wasn’t stronger. That I wasn’t more like you.
I don’t have much I can give you, but the land’s still mine. I know a lot of pain’s been poured into the dirt there, but there was good once, too. When I spent summers there with your grandparents. As your father and I made it our home. The babies that grew there. The animals we raised.
Maybe you can find your good there, too.
I understand if you can’t. Or don’t want to. But I know if one person is strong enough to do it…it’s you.
I love you forever and always, my little warrior.
Mom
A single tear splashed onto the page. She’d been gone before I even knew she was sick. Buried before I even knew she was gone. My family hadn’t wanted me there. Not my brother—who I was sure still blamed me for everything—my uncle, or any other vast network of relatives still rooted in the area.
To them, I was the enemy, the outsider. And now, I’d returned. The only one who might be happy to see me was my cousin, Addie, but I wasn’t even sure about that. We hadn’t spoken since I’d left. All of my letters came back, marked as Return to Sender in her father’s handwriting.
My mother thought I was a warrior, and I hoped she was right. I would need all my armor if I was going to face them again. Because no one would be happy that I was here. And they’d be downright livid when they learned I was staying.
2
Hayes
“I’m taking lunch,” I called to one of our newer deputies.
Young nodded, her ink-black hair not moving from its tight bun with the motion. “Calls forwarded to your cell or no?”
“Only if it’s truly urgent.” I paused when I reached the door. “That does not include one of Ms. Pat’s cats going missing.”
Young’s cheeks pinked beneath her tanned skin. “Sorry about that. She was really insistent that you would want to know.”
“She always is. Don’t worry about it. You’ll learn the frequent flyers from the true emergencies with time.”
Her shoulders eased a fraction. “I hope so. I just don’t want to make a mistake.”
I turned to face Young fully. “You’re going to make one, so just let that go right now. It’s how you recover from it that counts. The best officers are the ones who own their mistakes and learn from them.”
“Thanks, Sheriff. I’ll try to remember that.”
“And if you have questions, you only need to ask.”
She nodded, and I headed out the door. I could’ve gone for my SUV, but I needed the walk. I always got itchy this time of year, my skin a little too tight, and muscles aching for a long run. That was on the agenda for tonight, just Koda, me, and the trails for at least ten miles.
I pulled out my phone and typed a text.
Me: Lunch at the bar and grill? If you can steal away from your precious pole for an hour.
A second later, my phone dinged.
Calder: It’s amazing you cops can even walk down the street with your heads as big as they are. See you in ten, just finishing up some paperwork.
Me: It’s Sheriff. There’s a difference.
I chuckled and slid my cell back into my pocket. Making my way down the street, I could just make out the lake through the trees. The view never got old, and I couldn’t imagine wanting to live anywhere else. I’d done the college thing a few hours away but couldn’t wait to get back home.
Not everyone felt that way. My older brother certainly hadn’t. He’d run out of this town like his feet were on fire. Trading ranch life for every adrenaline-fueled adventure he could find. But I’d been more than happy here.
“Hayes,” a voice called from the florist and gift shop up the street.
“Afternoon, Ms. Honeyman. How are you?”
“I’ve told you time and again, call me Charlene. You’re grown now.”
I gave her a grin. “It’s hard to break old habits.”
“That’s because your mama raised you right.”
“She did her best, anyway. What can I do for you?”
She looked back at her shop and then out towards the streets dotted with tourists and residents alike. “I’m wondering if you have any plans for all of the shoplifters. They’re bad this summer. It’s the tourists, no doubt.”
I’d call my summer a good one if my worst calls were shoplifting and missing cats. Unfortunately, we got our share of car accidents and near-drownings. But, thankfully, things stayed fairly mellow with a community as tightknit as Wolf Gap. “I’m asking the officers and deputies to make their rounds on foot. They’ll be stopping by the shops and will be a visible presence on the street.”
“I hope that helps. You know it’s a fine line to stay in the black.”
Charlene wasn’t wrong. When your town relied on tourists, a rough winter or summer with bad forest fires could mean businesses closing and people hurting. I patted her shoulder. “We’ll do everything we can. And you just call the non-emergency line if you see anything suspicious.”
“I’ll do that. You’re a good boy. Always were.”
I waved her off, doing my best to hold in my laughter. It didn’t matter that I’d turned thirty this year. I’d forever be a good boy in her eyes. I picked up my pace, hoping to avoid people stopping me at every shop along the path. I nodded at tourists and waved at familiar locals. By the time I reached the Wolf Gap Bar & Grill, I wished I’d taken my damn SUV.
Pulling open the door, the air conditioning hit me in a refreshing wave. “Hey, Cam.”
The hostess’s smile turned up a few notches. “Hey, Hayes. Calder’s already here.” She gave a little pout as she led me towards a table where Calder was already seated. “Ignoring me as usual.”
I swallowed back a chuckle. “How are your parents?”
“Everyone’s good. We’re taking the boat out on the lake this weekend…” She shot Calder a grin that spoke of things beyond her years. “Maybe you wanna come with?”
He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’ve gotta work. But thanks.”
“You know what they say about all work and no play…”
“That it makes Calder boring as hell?” I cut in.
Cammie laughed and waved me off. “He’s not boring. Calder just needs someone to show him how to have a little fun.” And with that, she sauntered off with a sway to her hips.
I let out a low whistle. “She’s not messing around trying to get your attention.”
“It’s bizarre. I feel like Hadley was babysitting her just yesterday.”