THURSDAY, MARCH 6
This was the moment I’d been DREADING!
The chief of security was about to make the very first call to parents. MINE! Why ME? !!!
Probably because MacKenzie had convinced everyone that her parents were on a six-month-long hiking trip in the rain forests of Peru and the cell phone reception there was pretty much nonexistent.
That girl is SUCH a liar.
I mean, what IDIOT would even believe such a wacky story?! How about the ENTIRE security team?!!
They decided to take MacKenzie’s suggestion and send a note to HER parents by carrier pigeon.
I just knew MY parents were going to KILL me.
But I tried to look on the bright side.
When they were found guilty of attempted murder, we could all go to prison as one big HAPPY family !! . . .
OUR PRISON FAMILY PHOTO
And with me, Mom, and Dad out of the way, Brianna would have unlimited use of my CELL PHONE and get to eat her favorite meal—a big bowl of ketchup, raisins, and ice cream—for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. . . .
BRIANNA, HOME ALONE, GETTING STICKY CRUD ALL OVER MY PHONE !!
Just as I was about to give up HOPE (and my parents’ telephone number!), in walked the VERY last person I expected to see.
No! It wasn’t SANTA CLAUS, silly! It was . . .
TREVOR CHASE !!
And everyone in the room immediately rushed over and started talking to him all at the same time, including ME!
“Trevor! I was tricked into doing hair, makeup, and styling for three common criminals. My Ugly Intervention reputation will be RUINED!”
“Our identities have been stolen by some Dance Divas wannabes!”
“Yeah, and they’re not even very good dancers!”
“Dancers?! They can barely walk! You should have seen them staggering around here in those heels.”
“Sir, we’ve apprehended six suspects in connection with a crime spree committed on the arena premises, and our investigation is ongoing.”
“I’m MacKenzie! Remember ME?! I won the Westchester Country Day Middle School talent show with my amazing dance routine. Anyway, don’t believe anything Nikki Maxwell is going to say about me. She’s delusional because she forgot to take her meds today.”
“Actually, YOU need help, MacKenzie! How dare you say such mean things about my BFF, Nikki, and ‘whisper insidious accusations in the ear of the mob!’—Virgil.”
“Hi, I’m Jessica, and I can play ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy’ on the accordion while tap dancing in pink designer cowboy boots. I’d be just perfect for your show! Listen to this. . . . ‘Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a po-neeee!’?”
“Nikki is my BFF! So just back off! By the way, is anyone going to eat these cupcakes? Or these cookies? Or these brownies? Or these— OW! That hurt!”
“I just wanna go hooooome! Waaahhhhhh!”
“Sir, if you could just sign here, my security team will have the authority to press charges against everyone involved.”
Finally Mr. Chase had had enough. “QUIET! Everyone! Please,” he shouted. Then he continued. “Okay, I have just one very important question. WHO is responsible for all this RUCKUS?”
That’s when ALL the very angry people in the room suddenly pointed at ME. . . .
ME, GETTING BLAMED BY A RUTHLESS MOB
The whole thing WAS my fault. Kind of!
If I’d just stayed home and shared a big bowl of ketchup, raisins, and ice cream with Brianna, NONE of this would have happened.
I stared at my feet and sighed. I was pretty sure I had kissed that record deal good-bye.
“Mr. Chase, I’m really, truly sorry about the mix-up. But our backstage passes went missing. So we had to kind of sneak backstage and then borrow the Dance Divas’ costumes so no one would recognize us. And by the time we finally got here to talk to you about our recording deal, you’d already left. And then we got . . . ARRESTED! I’m really sorry I misled everyone and pretty much ruined your evening!”
That’s when Trevor Chase stared at me with this perplexed look on his face.
“Do I know you? Wait a minute! Are you NIKKI MAXWELL?!” he asked, squinting at me closely.
First he smiled. Then he chuckled. Then he laughed. Hysterically, like he was losing his mind.
And soon everyone else in the room had joined in the laughter too.
Even ME! Although I didn’t have the slightest idea what was SO darn funny.
“Blaine! You’re a genius!” Trevor sputtered. “I was totally convinced Nikki and her friends were really the Dance Divas. I’d like to offer you a job doing hair, makeup, and wardrobe for my TV show!”
“I’d LOVE to!” Blaine gushed. “When I saw these three girls and their tacky clothing, unruly split ends, and that hideous unibrow, I felt so sorry for them. So I begged them to let ME do a makeover! Then I insisted on dressing them in my latest fab fashions. As I always say, I’m a stylist AND a magician!”
“So do you STILL want to press charges against them?” Mr. Grumpy asked, impatiently tapping his pen on his notepad.
“Press charges against them? Why, NO! The only thing criminal about these girls is the way they’re murdering those stilettos. OMG! They walk like dizzy giraffes with jellyfish ankles.”
I could NOT believe we were being ripped apart by the world-famous Blaine Blackwell, of Ugly Intervention fame. AGAIN! He made us feel like uncivilized barnyard animals. SQUEEEEEE !!
“CASE CLOSED!” Mr. Grumpy announced. “And now that I’ve worked up an appetite, I’ll just help myself to a few of these delicious pastries and then be on my way.”