His gaze held on to mine as he moved his hand to my cheek. “Still with me?”
I nodded, because I wasn’t sure I could speak. His thumb swept over my bottom lip, drawing it from between my teeth. He moved his hips, a small roll that pushed him in deeper. My thighs clamped on him as the burn spread and increased, tinged in something that wasn’t quite painful, but more of a pressure.
His arm beside my head trembled with the control he was exerting. “You’re so tight. Damn, Calla, you’re killing me.”
An apology was on the tip of my tongue, but then his pelvis moved again, and the words came out as a gasp.
He stilled, his hand curving around my jaw. “I need to hear you’re ready, honey. I need to hear you say it.”
My mouth was dry, but I forced the words out. “I’m ready.”
Jax held my gaze for a moment and then he kissed me. My lips were sealed tight at that point, but he worked at them until I opened for him, and as the kiss deepened, he thrust forward, all the way in. The kiss swallowed the cry as a burst of pain radiated out from between my legs, followed by an intense burn. He was in me, not moving, and I knew the very second I was no longer a virgin. Yep. Sure did.
“You okay?” His voice was guttural.
I swallowed. “Yeah.”
And that much was true. The pain had faded. The burn was still there. It didn’t really feel bad. It just was kind of there.
“Well, I’m about to turn it from something okay to something great,” he said against my lips, and I wasn’t so sure about that.
But as he kissed me again, he started moving, slowly pulling out until he was halfway in and then pushing back in. The fullness of him stretching me was an odd feeling. Again, not painful, but something else, something that every time he pulled out and rocked in, I felt in my entire body.
Jax kept it slow and steady until the burning pressure really wasn’t something at all painful, something else entirely different. That burn turned into a low simmer of pleasure that ratcheted up with every pull and push.
Feeling more comfortable with this, I slid my hands down his sides to rest on his hips as I moved my hips with his next thrust.
“Damn,” he groaned, and I found out pretty quickly that moving in tandem with him was a good thing, a really, really good thing, so I did again and then again, and his next word exhale was harsh against my mouth. “Fuck.”
I moved my hips, rolling them at the pace he let me set and that ball of sensation was back, building and building. I moved my legs, wrapping them around his hips, and somehow he got deeper. His kisses turned wild, his tongue thrusting in tune with his hips, and my nails scoured the flesh along his hips.
“More,” I heard myself whisper, having no idea where that word came from, but he answered.
He gave more.
Lots more.
His movement picked up and his head dipped into the space between my neck and shoulder. The pressure in my core became everything. Any remnants of pain were long, long gone. Our movements became frantic and whatever rhythm was there was completely lost. He grunted into my ear as my back arched, my hands pulling him down.
“God, Calla, I love the way you feel,” he whispered into my ear. “I can feel you tightening. Fucking beautiful.”
My breath caught. I was on the edge of something bigger, something beautiful and powerful happening in my body, and he seemed to know because his thrusts turned to his hips grinding against mine. The friction was intense, consuming. I whispered his name as my grip on him tightened. Tension coiled tightly and then it exploded outward, the pleasure forceful and nothing like the times before. It was deeper, more concentrated.
His hips slammed into mine, all pretenses of control gone as he buried his head in my shoulder. He pushed, going deep, and then he stilled for a moment before his hips jerked. My name was a hoarse shot against my skin as he found his own release. I clung to him, moved more than I thought I’d ever be from sex, squeezing my eyes shut as he breathed deeply.
It felt like an eternity before he moved, lifting his head enough to press a kiss against the side of my throat, just below my sluggish pulse. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “That was . . .” There were no words for how that felt. None whatsoever.
He rose onto his forearms and dipped his mouth to mine. Still inside me, he kissed me slowly. “That was . . . fucking perfect.”
I opened my eyes. “It was. I didn’t . . .”
“What?” he asked when I didn’t finish.
“I didn’t know it could be like that,” I admitted, feeling a bit foolish. “I just didn’t think it could be like it.”
A smug sort of smile appeared on his lips and then he kissed me again before easing out. There was a twinge of discomfort and a weirdness at the feeling of losing the fullness.
My body was boneless as he rolled off the bed and headed into the bathroom. When he returned, he’d gotten rid of the condom and was carrying a damp cloth. As he settled on the bed beside me and gently swiped at the proof of what just went down, I was shocked by the intimacy of the moment. Somehow it seemed more than what we’d just done. My throat was tight as he left to pitch the cloth in the bathroom.
I said nothing as he climbed back into bed with me and tugged the covers up over us. He positioned me so I was facing him and his arm was lying over my waist, our knees curved and pressing against each other. He played with the strands of my hair, twining them around his fingers. The silence stretched out for so long that I began to worry that he hadn’t liked it as much as I had, that he wasn’t as moved as I was.
“Thank you,” he said.
I blinked. “What?”
A funny little smile played out across his lips. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”
My mouth gaped.
“It’s a big deal.” His lashes lifted and his eyes met mine. “What we did. It was your first time. I’m honored.”
Was this real?
“So thank you.”
Jax closed the distance between us, melding our lips together in what had to have been the sweetest kiss possible, and I realized this was real. Not some orgasm-induced hallucination, and there was truly no wonder why I’d fallen for him.
My fingers dug into Jax’s chest as I threw my head back, crying out as I came. His hands palmed my breasts and his hips powered up as I all but collapsed onto his chest. His arms circled around me as he came, and I focused on breathing, because it was a chore, as I felt his body shuddering around me.
I was sated and made up of nothing but air as one of his hands circled the back of my head, pressing my cheek against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding as fast as mine. Smiling, I closed my eyes.
How he managed to convince me to do it this way—me on top—I had no idea. It probably started with waking up Monday morning with his mouth on my breast, nipping and licking. That had led to him moving inside me, much slower than the night before, if that was possible. And it might have had something to do with the way he got me naked from the waist down Monday night in his kitchen, and we’d re-created what we did the night before, but with his cock and not his tongue.
I’d never, ever look at that kitchen counter the same again.
Or it could’ve been Tuesday evening, after we’d headed to the campground where Ike was supposed to be hanging out, which turned out to be a total bust. He wasn’t there. No one had seen him in days. He was gone, like ashes in a hurricane. That had been disappointing, because I’d been hoping he’d be a good lead, but that disappointment faded in the truck ride back to Jax’s place.
Jax could multitask like a beast, driving with one hand on the steering wheel, the other in my pants. And I paid him back for that when we got back to his place, happily on my knees in the living room. There was something incredibly naughty about that.
Maybe it was Tuesday night that helped him convince me to be on top this afternoon, because I was pretty sure after last night, I knew firsthand what “fuck each other’s brains out” really meant and felt like.
And it felt good.
It could’ve also been this morning, because he was definitely into morning sex. That was when it took longer for both of us and it turned into an epic sexcapade. But it was when he interrupted me trying to prepare for the shower that I ended up in his bed, with him on his back and me astride him.
I’d been nervous, though. With him being on top, I really wasn’t thinking of the condition of my body. He could totally see my entire front, but it had worked out. Very well. Like I think being on top would probably be my new favorite position of all time.
“We need to get ready for work,” he said.
“I don’t want to move.”
He chuckled. “I really don’t want you to, but . . .”
I sighed. “Can I just stay here, like this, forever?”
That got another laugh and then he tapped my ass with his palm. Grumbling under my breath, I rolled off him and landed in a pile of bones and mush on the bed beside him. “You can shower first. I’m gonna nap.”
He moved onto his side, running his fingers over the curve of my hip. “We can shower together.”
I snorted. “We wouldn’t shower.”
“Why not?” he teased, kissing the tip of my shoulder.
“We’d end up doing it and I’m not sure if I can withstand another orgasm without losing precious brain cells.”
He laughed against my skin. “You have a point.” Then he moved his head, finding my lips and kissing me. “I won’t be long.”
“Uh-huh.”
Jax took showers longer than any girl I ever knew. I was constantly amazed that there was any hot water left when he got his ass out of there. But whatever. A cold shower might be a good thing at the rate we were going.
So I lay there, drifting in and out of sleep, letting myself go to that warm and fuzzy place where I totally admitted that I was madly, deeply, and maybe dumbly in love with him. But whatever. I didn’t care about potential heart-destroying, end-of-the-world heartbreak during post-sex bliss.
When Jax was finally out of the shower, it took me a little longer to get ready. I was moving at turtle speed. As I blow-dried my hair boringly straight, because I was beyond the point of putting any effort into it, I wondered how work would be now that we had totally done it. Like multiple times. All over the house. Sex exploding everywhere kind of done it.
I was a wee bit anxious about that as he drove us to Mona’s. I was doing everything not to worry about that when I heard my phone ding in my purse. Happy for the distraction, I reached inside and pulled it out, discovering I had an e-mail from the financial aid adviser at Shepherd.