Twenty-three
I was trembling as I stood in front of Jax. Even my fingers were twitching at my sides. I loved him. I was in love with him. I had no idea when it happened, but it did, and it was an amazing and terrifying feeling, but damn, it was also so hopeful, because even though I liked guys in the past, even lusted after a few, I had never been in love with one and I hadn’t really thought I’d get to know a guy enough to fall in love with him.
But I had.
Jax’s eyes were fastened to my face, and it seemed like he read something in my expression because he made a sound in the back of his throat that sent a tremor through my core.
And then he was on me.
His hands clasped my cheeks and he tilted my head back as his mouth landed on mine. The kiss was deep and moving. I could taste him and another salty flavor that I knew belonged to me and that spun my senses. His tongue moved with mine and then flicked over the roof of my mouth before delving deep. Everything I needed to feel was in that kiss.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked.
I took a breath, but it didn’t expand my lungs. “I’m standing here naked. I’m sure.”
Jax chuckled and the sound danced over my skin. “I’d hope so, but honey, you haven’t done this before, and I want to make sure you’re a hundred percent with me.”
Pressure clamped down on my chest as I nodded. “I’m sure, Jax.”
He made that sound again before he kissed me. “I’m so fucking glad to hear that, you have no idea.” Then he took my hand and placed it against his chest, above his heart. “You can trust me.”
I did trust him.
Holding on to my hand, he drew me out of the kitchen, out of the bright lights, and through the darker living room, then to the stairs. My heart was racing as we went up the stairs and came to a stop in his bedroom, in front of his bed.
He let go of my hand, and I watched him walk to the nightstand. He opened a drawer and fisted what appeared to be a handful of foil wrappers. My brows shot up. Um, how many of them did he need? He grinned when he caught my look and tossed a few onto the bed. Then he faced me.
Eyes locked with mine, he reached down and pulled off his shirt before moving on to the belt he wore. Unhooking that, he flicked the button and then the zipper went down. He shucked off his jeans and the black boxer briefs quickly followed.
And he was as naked as I was.
He was gorgeous. Every inch of him. From the top of his messy bronze hair, across the broad cheekbones and full lips, down the neck, over his chiseled pecs and the tightly roiled stomach. Farther down, he was even more magnificent. The muscles on either side of his hips drew my attention for a moment and then my gaze moved over the fine dusting of hair to where he was the hardest.
Good Lord.
I sucked my lower lip in and felt a pleasant hum in my veins. Jax was so not lacking in that department.
One side of his lips curved up. “Come here.”
With my heart pounding in every pulse point, I walked over to where he stood at the side of the bed. He placed his hands on my shoulders and guided me down so I was sitting on the bed. Then he knelt, running his fingers down the outside of my legs, from my thighs to my ankles. Once he reached the strap on my sandals, he nimbly undid them.
“Next time, I want you wearing these shoes,” he said, looking up at me through thick lashes. “You got that?”
Oh my. I nodded.
“That’s my girl,” he murmured, moving on to the other sandal. Once he had that shoe off, his hands made the trip back up my legs as he rose. He didn’t stop. Skating over my stomach, the outer curves of my breasts, he eventually reached my cheeks and he stopped there.
His lips were on mine again, moving slowly, tasting and teasing until his tongue ran the seam of my mouth. I opened to him and there was that rush again, the heady warmth. As he kissed me, his hands slipped down to my arms and then under them. He lifted me up, pushing me farther onto the bed as he climbed on, his legs on either side of me.
My breath was stuttered as he guided me onto my back and I was suddenly staring up at him. Nerves exploded in the pit of my stomach. What if I sucked? What if I didn’t like it? Not every woman had a great time during sex. I knew that. What if I—
“We can stop at any time you want. Okay?” he said, voice rumbling in a way that made my toes curl. “If it hurts, you let me know. If you’re not liking what’s happening, you tell me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I breathed, forcing myself to relax.
He smiled tightly and then his lips descended on mine. This kiss was different, deeper, more shattering. His mouth worked mine until I was panting for breath, until my hands settled on his shoulders. The nerves eased away as his lips moved away from mine, traveling down my neck and over the straight line of my collarbone with a series of hot little kisses and flicks of his tongue.
God, he knew how to use that mouth of his.
I closed my eyes as his lips moved to my breasts, over the sliced scars, to close over a nipple. My back arched off the bed when he sucked deep and the keening, sudden sound that erupted from me would scorch my ears later. He worried the aching peak as his fingers settled over my other breast. Each pull of his mouth, each tug of his fingers sent a bolt of pleasure throughout my body and straight to my core, where the ball of tension began to build all over again.
He moved his mouth to my other breast and repeated those sensual actions, getting my pulse pounding in several very interesting places. My hips tilted against his restlessly, nudging the hard length of him, and I gasped as a little burst of sensation rocketed through me.
His mouth continued licking, laving, tugging, and teasing as he shifted his body, working a hand between my thighs. I could feel him there, palming me, and my hips reacted out of instinct, pressing against him.
He lifted his head from my breast as he slid a finger inside me. I arched again, sucking in a deep breath as he added another. “That good?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I breathed, and then nodded in case he didn’t get the point.
His smile turned devilish as he dipped his head, sucking on the tip in tandem with the thrust of his fingers. The dual sensations was like opening lightning in a bottle. A fire started in my blood and my fingers dug into his shoulders. A flutter started deep inside me, pulsing around his fingers. His hand twisted, pressing his palm against the bundle of nerves, and I rocked my hips against his hand shamelessly. The release built quickly and when it broke, I kicked my head back, my cry hoarse as release powered through me for the second time that night.
Jax moved away quickly, reaching for a wrapper on the bed. Tiny little shocks of pleasure were still darting to the ends of my nerves as he rose above me, lining up his hips with me. I felt him there, against my damp flesh, and my eyes shot open.
I was barely breathing as I stared into his eyes.
“You sure?” he asked again, his arms shaking from where he had them braced on either side of my head. “Tell me you are, honey.”
“I am.”
He closed his eyes briefly before staring down at me. “Thank fucking God. I want you so bad I’m coming out of my fucking skin.”
I would’ve laughed except he shifted his weight onto one arm as he reached between us, guiding himself into me. The first point of pressure stole my breath, and I jerked. He couldn’t even have made it in an inch, but I felt myself spreading. There was a burning sensation I wasn’t sure I liked or not. I bit down on my bottom lip.