Chapter Thirty-Seven
AFTER I’D CRIED MYSELF OUT and blubbered all over Maeve’s very understanding shoulder, I walked up to Ian’s room and fell into an exhausted sleep. I dreamed of huge groups of people witnessing my shame and condemning me for it. Visions of my mother’s boyfriend accusing me of being a slut tortured my already bruised sense of self-worth. Mewling cries escaped my lips as I pictured my bosses firing me for besmirching the reputation of the firm.
It was then that I felt a warmth come over me and the darkness slip away. Like a magic spell had been cast, I went from disintegrating to safe. Alone to protected. I shifted in the bed and realized I wasn’t alone anymore.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in a tear-scratched voice.
“Shhh, just go to sleep. You’re exhausted.”
“But what about dinner?” I wasn’t hungry, but I hoped to get rid of him. I didn’t deserve the care and compassion; I deserved to be punished.
“Dinner’s long over. If you want, we saved you a plate, but I think you should just sleep. I kept you out in the sun too long. Sorry about that, babe.”
“It’s not the sun.” It’s the giant crack in my heart that will never heal.
He kissed my neck tenderly. “No, it’s not the sun. It’s me. I wore you out with King Dong.”
I laughed in spite of myself. “Shut up.”
“Fine.” He kissed my shoulder. “Go to sleep.”
“Go away and I will,” I whispered, already falling into the twilight sleep zone where nothing made much sense and shadows of memories swirled and danced.
“I’m not going anywhere…”
It was the last thing I remembered hearing before the sun streaming in the window woke me up. It was the morning of the picnic, dawning sunny and bright. My heart felt like ten pounds of lead in my chest.