“I could never hate him,” I reply truthfully, dropping my eyes to the ground and trying to process everything I’m feeling. “I’m going to eat lunch. We’ll talk when I get back to the lodge. I love you.”
“I love you too. Call as soon as you can,” she says before she hangs up, and I tuck my phone into the pocket of my sweatshirt, then try to smile as I accept a plate from Tanner.
“Everything okay?” he asks, taking a seat next to me.
“That was my best friend, Jade. She had lunch with my ex yesterday,” I tell him, and his body next to mine seems to fill with tension. “He . . . umm . . . got married the day I drove here.”
“What the fuck?” His eyes lock with mine, and I shake my head.
“He married his college roommate, who happens to be a guy,” I add, and his eyes widen slightly. Dropping my eyes from his, I pick up my sandwich that moments ago I would have devoured, but right now, the heavy weight in my stomach is making me feel sick.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, touching his knuckle under my chin, and I meet his gaze.
“The truth?” I prompt, and he nods. “I’m hurt, not because he’s found someone, but because he lied to me. I’m angry with him for not being truthful with me, but I’m also relieved, because if he had kept his secret and married me, we would have both ended up miserable. I also . . .” I swallow. “I’m also wondering if he was cheating on me, if he cheated on me every time he went to meet up with Chris. The thought makes me want to be sick.”
“Cybil.” His voice sounds gruff as he wipes at the tears I feel soaking my lashes.
“I’m so mad, but I also feel bad for him, which is making it difficult to be angry.” I drag in a deep breath through my nose.
“What do you mean?” he questions softly, studying me closely.
“His mom and dad are very old school. I doubt they’ll accept him being married to a man, and he loves his parents, so I know he’s probably hurting. Even as mad as I am, I don’t want that for him.”
“If they love him, they’ll learn to accept him however he is. Like you said, he lied, and I’m guessing he’s been lying for a long time. They might be upset right now, but they need time to figure out their feelings and come to terms with things. That said, what he did to you was wrong. Even if he wasn’t sleeping with someone else while you were together, the fact that he had an emotional relationship with someone else is fucked up.”
“You’re right,” I whisper, and he wraps his arm around my shoulders and rests the side of his head against mine. “Is it wrong that I really wish I could kick him in the nuts?”
“I don’t think so,” he chuckles, and I smile, thinking that even though it’s weird to lean on him right now, it also feels really fricking right.
Chapter 12
CYBIL
Sitting around the campfire, with the lake just a few feet away and the stars glittering above me, I realize I’m going to miss this. Before this trip, I never would have thought I would fall in love with the great outdoors or camping, but this trip has given me a different perspective. It’s pushed my limits, forced me to try new things, and reminded me that I’m capable of doing just about anything.
This trip has also given me a chance to reflect on myself and my relationship with Galvin that I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t come. There’s something to be said about unplugging from everyday life. It gives you the opportunity to just listen to your inner voice, which you don’t always have when you’ve got technology at your fingertips.
Then there’s the man sitting next to me with his pinkie wrapped around mine. If I hadn’t come on this trip, I wouldn’t have met Tanner, so I might actually owe my ex a thank-you.
But only after I kick him in the balls.
“I have a great idea,” Lauren says loudly, pulling me from my thoughts, and everyone sitting around the campfire stops talking and turns to look at her. “I think we should all go skinny-dipping.”
“Lauren.” Oliver shakes his head. “We are not going skinny-dipping.”
“Why not?” she pouts. “It’s our last night out here. We should do something fun as a group.”
“Getting naked together isn’t really my idea of group fun,” I say dryly, and Parker, who’s sitting on the other side of me, snorts.
“Don’t be a buzzkill, Cybil.” Lauren rolls her eyes while she stands and whips her shirt off, leaving her in her sports bra. “I’m going in, and whoever wants to join me can join me.”
“I wouldn’t suggest you do that,” Parker says, but of course she ignores him and walks off.
“Oh wow, she’s serious,” I whisper, watching her strip off her clothes before she runs naked toward the water.
“I guess I should go grab a towel for her.” Oliver stands with a shake of his head; then, a moment later, I hear a splash and turn to look at the lake.
“One thing can be said for that girl. There’s never a dull moment with her around,” Avery says as I watch Lauren’s head appear right before she dives under again.
“Ain’t that the truth,” Jacob agrees as we all watch Oliver make his way down to the water, carrying a towel and muttering under his breath.
“Oh my God!” Lauren lets out a bloodcurdling shriek before she starts paddling wildly toward the shore. “Something touched me!”
“It was just a fish,” Oliver tells her calmly while holding open the towel for her as she runs out of the water and into his arms.
“It didn’t feel like a fish, Oli,” she cries, clinging to his neck when he scoops her up. He starts murmuring quietly to her while carrying her to their tent.
“How much do you want to bet that we’re going to hear them going at it for the rest of the night?” Grant grumbles, and my nose scrunches.
He’s probably right; Lauren might not have taken an actual shower, but she’s now cleaner than any of us. And if that was the only thing stopping Oliver before, he might feel better about it now.
“Well.” Avery pushes up off the ground and looks at her husband. “I’m going to bed, and with any luck, I’ll fall asleep before any of the vocals start.”
“Be there in a minute,” Grant tells her, and she nods before saying good night and making her way up the bank to the grassy area where we set up camp.
“I think I’m going to try to do the same.” I get up and say a quiet good night to the guys, and Tanner gives me a look that says he wants to kiss me but can’t.