I felt like such an idiot as I rushed to my Jeep.
How could I have been so dumb?
Why on earth did I think a man who’d walked out in his family the way he did could have a sudden change of heart and want a relationship again?
Then it hit me—because Zach did. Zach walked out just like my father did, but as it turned out, he had grown up and changed. He’d proven it every chance he got over the last year. Part of me was hoping for that same miracle in my dad but instead, history had repeated itself. The only difference was this time I was old enough to understand what was really going on, and because of that, I was the one who walked out.
By the time I got home, tears were streaming down my face. I was so grateful the girls would still be at school for a couple more hours. Once in the kitchen, I realized no one appeared to be home. Then I remembered my mom had taken up a spin class on Tuesday mornings.
The house was quiet.
Too quiet, leaving me with nothing but my mind, which had chosen to replay the last couple hours over and over again.
Don’t be naive. Sit down. Get real.
Every time I thought about the words he said to me, my chest got tighter and tighter. I walked over to the couch in the family room and sat down slowly, determined not to let one more tear fall because of my dad. I just felt so… stupid.
“Honey, you okay?” Fred’s gruff voice from the kitchen caught me by surprise. I’d been so lost in my own head, I didn’t even hear him come in. “What is it?” His eyebrows drew together as soon as he saw my face and he rushed over. Sitting down next to me, he pulled me in close. That one hug from Fred was all I needed to completely come undone. Rocking me back and forth gently, he didn’t ask another question. He simply let me cry it all out.
After a short eternity, I pulled back and sniffed.
Holding his index finger up in the air, he hopped off the couch. “Hang on.” He rushed over to the bookshelf on the other side of the room and grabbed the box of Kleenex.
I took a tissue from him and blew my nose loud enough to scare the fish in the lake. “Sorry if I snotted on your shirt.”
Fred looked down at his shirt and shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. I like you, and your snot.”
“I went to see my dad,” I blurted out.
“Oh.” A dazed look spread across his face as he nodded slowly. “How did that go?”
“It was awful.” I started rambling, “He didn’t ask one question about me. He didn’t seem at all interested in anything I’ve been doing with my life. I tried to show him a couple pictures of Lucy and Piper, and he barely even looked at them. Turns out he only asked me there so I would ask Brody to invest in some company he’s trying to start.”
“Seriously? That’s horrible.” Fred sounded even more outraged than me. “How could he not look at those little girls and instantly fall in love with their sweet faces? How could he not be proud of you and all you’ve accomplished, almost completely on your own? Boy, that really pisses me off.”
I looked up at Fred rubbing his clenched jaw with his worn hands. His eyes were angry. Angry and protective that someone hadn’t given me and my daughters the attention he felt we deserved. Angry and protective the way a real dad would be.
“Fred?” I tried to speak past the golf ball-sized lump in my throat. “I’m so sorry for what I said the day I got his first letter… about wanting to finally have a relationship with my dad.”
“It’s okay, kiddo.” He reached out and patted my knee. “I know how bad you’ve wanted a dad your whole life.”
I stared deep into the beautiful sky blue eyes of the man who’d taken me to the hospital for stitches in my chin when I was twelve and rode my bike straight into a tree. The eyes of the man whose silhouette had stood in the front window when Zach dropped me off from our first date. The eyes of the man who’d cried in front of me for the first time the day I brought the girls home from the hospital and he held one in each arm. The eyes of a man who didn’t share one drop of blood with me, but loved me unconditionally regardless, when another man decided I wasn’t worth it.
“That’s just my point—I already had one. You’re the best dad I could’ve ever asked for.” Tears stung my eyes again, but these were happy tears. “We may not share blood, but we share more memories in one day than I had in ten years with him. You’ve been by my side as far back as I can remember, Fred, and it’s just fitting that you be by my side on my wedding day. Would you please walk me down the aisle?”
“Wow.” Fred swallowed and cleared his throat. “I’m sure glad that you feel that way about me, Kacie, because that’s exactly how I feel about you. I would love to escort you down the aisle, right into the arms of the man who loves your girls the way I love you.”
I threw my arms around his shoulders and squeezed as hard as I could. “I love you too… dad.”