9 - Kacie
I was nervous.
Not I-hope-I-make-it-on-time nervous or even please-don’t-let-this-cop-pull-me-over nervous. I was interview-at-a-job-I-really-want, first-day-at-a-new-school, about-to-take-my-state-boards nervous, all rolled into one.
It was the dead of winter in Minnesota, temperatures were barely in the double digits, and I was freezing my ass off sitting on a wrought iron bench, but I just wasn’t quite ready to go into the coffee shop and see my dad. You would think that after all that time, no matter what the circumstances of his leaving were, I’d be excited to see him, but I wasn’t. I was terrified.
What if I didn’t like him?
What if he didn’t like me?
What if I lost the courage to ask him everything I’d wanted to ask him over the last fifteen years?
You know how you’ll find out, Kacie? Go inside.
I don’t know if it was my brain or my cold toes talking, but something willed me to start walking up the concrete steps and into the tiny green shop. A bell above the door clanged as I pushed it open. Soft music, warm air, and the smell of coffee immediately filled my senses, making me feel cozy and at ease. Maybe this would be a great day after all.
I took my coat off, intentionally not looking around at the tables. I don’t know why, but I wanted him to see me first. As I moved in slow motion to hang my coat on a hook behind the door, I took a deep breath. Everything would be different when I turned around. Good or bad, it would be different.
One more big breath, and… turn.
My eyes scanned the restaurant, but I didn’t see him. What was that feeling in my stomach? Disappointment? Relief? I wasn’t quite sure, but something was weighing me down like a rock. A man in the far corner caught my attention as he stood up and waved at me.
Him.
My stomach flipped again as I smiled and waved back. I scooted past tables and chairs, trying to figure out what I was going to say to him. Thankfully, I didn’t have to think for long. He went first.
“Kacie. Wow! Look at you,” he boasted as I got closer. Walking around the side of the table, he held his arms out. I wasn’t sure I was ready for a hug, but there was no going back now. As his scruffy cheek brushed mine, the smell of his aftershave instantly transported me back in time twenty years to when I would get a giant hug before he tucked me in to bed every night. It was amazing how people could smell the same year after year.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he hugged me tight.
“Thanks,” I offered back awkwardly. I pulled away and set my purse down in an empty seat, opting to sit across from him.
He settled into his seat too and took a cleansing breath. “So…”
“So.” I smiled politely. “Great weather we’re having, huh?”
My dad’s deep laugh echoed throughout the quiet little coffee shop, a little too loudly. “Oh, Kacie. You always were quite the jokester.”
What? No, I wasn’t.
I never joked much at all. I was actually the opposite. I was the weird kid who made my bed every single morning and made sure my stuffed animals were lined up perfectly, in alphabetical order, of course. I was also the weird kid who brought carrots and snap peas to school in her lunch every single day. I was the weird kid who wouldn’t swim for thirty minutes after eating for fear that I’d get a cramp and die in the lake. Joking was never my thing. That’s why Brody and I got along so well. He was the jokester, the yin to my yang.
“Can I get you something?” The waitress’s voice pulled me from my daydream and I stared up at her like she’d just asked me if I wanted to jump off the roof of the building. Her eyes darted to my dad then back to me. “Ma’am?”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “I’ll take a hot chocolate, please. Extra whipped cream.”
“Sure thing. Be right back.” She smiled kindly and walked away.
“How’s your mom?”
I was surprised by my dad’s first question, but my mom was a source of comfort and strength in my life, so I knew we couldn’t go wrong there.
“She’s great. Amazing, actually.”
“Good to hear.” He nodded. “Where’s that superstar fiancé of yours? Thought maybe he’d be joining us.”
“Nope. They have a home game tonight, so he’s in the city.”
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “Do you go to a lot of his games?”
“As many as I can when I’m not working. I-I’m a nurse now,” I added, realizing he knew nothing about me.
“Really? Good for you.” He grinned proudly.
“Anyway, the girls and I love going—” I paused. “Do you know I’m a mom?”
His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open just a smidge. “No. I’m a grandpa?”
Resentment filled all my available head space when he called himself a grandfather. They already had two grandfathers—Fred, who’d been there for all their skinned knees and runny noses, and Bob, who’d made them the most adorable hot pink mini-picnic table for their birthday this past summer. He even stenciled their names and little white daisies on the corners of the benches. That was a grandfather.
“Yeah, you are. Twice, actually, in a matter of ten minutes.” I chuckled nervously. “I have twin girls. They’re six, almost seven.”
“No kidding. That’s amazing.” He shook his head back and forth slowly. As I watched him talk, I started realizing I got more than just my reddish-brown hair from my mom. My dad had a large nose that leaned slightly to his left at the bridge and a square face, two things I was grateful I didn’t win in the DNA lottery.
“I actually brought pictures of them.” Reaching into my purse, it took me a minute, but I dug out half a dozen photos of the girls and set them on the table. “Their names are—” When I looked up from my purse, my dad had his phone up in front of him, and he was typing something.
“Oh, sorry.” He fumbled to put his phone away when he realized I’d stopped talking. “What are their names?”
“Lucy and Piper.” A small sigh left my body as I told him their names. “I have more pictures of them on my phone if you want to see them, tons of them.” I laughed.
He picked the photos up and looked at them very briefly before dropping them back on the table. “They’re cute. That’s okay, you can show them to me another time.”
“Okay.” I was annoyed as I gathered up the pictures and put them back in my purse.
“Listen, I know it took three letters to get you here, but I’m glad you finally came. I want to talk to you about something.” He lifted the red mug to his mouth and took a sip of his coffee. “I never read the newspaper anymore. Like most people, I get my news on the computer, but that one morning in June, for whatever reason, I happened to pick it up and there it was, right on the cover. My baby girl engaged to Minnesota’s golden boy. It was perfect timing. A sign, if you will. Like someone was telling me it was finally time to get in touch with you.”
I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest, silently trying to figure out where he was going with this speech.
“Anyway, earlier that morning I had just been turned down for a business grant, and I think it might actually be a great investment opportunity for you.”
My heart sank and my mouth dropped open.
“Well,” he continued when he saw my reaction, “for you and Brody. You see, I’m trying to start a small consulting business, but I need the start-up money, so here’s what I was thinking—if Brody could give me fifty grand up front, we can work out a percentage that he would get back annually. I was thinking maybe three percent? It’s negotiable. With my money expertise and his cash to get it off the ground, I figure the business should really take off and I can have him paid back in no time. He can be the silent partner in my little adventure. What do you think?”
Quietly, I closed my mouth and inhaled deeply through my nose, just staring at him. As his words sank in, the few fond memories of him I’d protected like gold since childhood faded away. All I would ever remember was that after fifteen years, my father finally contacted me because he wanted money—from my fiancé.
I was nothing but a rung on his slimy ladder. One he was going to use to get wherever he wanted.
“KJ?”
The instant he used the nickname he called me as a kid, I lost it.
“This is why you called me here? For money?” I hissed across the table, leaning forward.
“Well, I-I-I wanted to know what was going on with you too,” he stammered. “I just think we should strike now while the iron is hot and run with this.”
“Oh my God, you’re unbelievable!” I jumped up, nearly bumping right into the waitress that was carrying my hot chocolate.
“Listen, the boy can’t play hockey forever, Kacie. Get real.” He smirked smugly, completely missing why I was upset. “He’s going to need something to do after that. Why not invest wisely?”
“He is investing wisely. In me and my daughters. Life isn’t just about money, Don. It’s about family, and love, and living.”
“That’s naive. Sit down and let’s get us both to a point where we can benefit from this.”
His disgusting words dripped off of me and I suddenly wanted a shower.
“You sit there. I’m going home—to my real dad.” I spun around and grabbed my coat, hurrying out the door before I could even put it on.