He rubbed both his hands, hard, over his face and head and I noticed how really worn he actually looked. Those blue eyes were sort of faded and he had dark shadows resting underneath.
“Listen, Cora, I understand. I’m jacked up, you aren’t into it, whatever. It just messes with my already overworked mind when you tell me one thing and then look at me like you want to lick me all over like an ice cream cone in the same breath. I’m trying to figure my own shit out. I don’t have the mental fortitude or the patience to try and figure yours out as well. I just ran six miles on less than two hours of sleep. I need a shower and maybe if I’m lucky, a nap.”
He didn’t give me a chance to respond. He just turned on his sneaker and left me standing there gaping at him. For the second time in as many days, I was not only speechless but also left without being able to get a final word in. I hated it. The butt-head didn’t even give me the opportunity to apologize for being needlessly bitchy last night. I shoved off the counter and went down the hallway to the room at the back of the apartment. It was Rule’s old room when he had lived with Nash, so I knew that there was a bathroom attached.
I could hear the water running and he had the radio on somewhere in the room and it was playing Tom Petty. Oddly fitting, Rome totally struck me as a classic-rock kind of guy. His room was also neat as a pin. All those years in the military had obviously bred good habits into him. The big king-sized bed was even all made up. There wasn’t so much as a stray sock on the floor, but there also wasn’t much to define the space as his. The only personal effect that was visible was a black-and-white photo of a much younger Rome and the twins.
Rule looked like Rule, only without as much ink, and he was smiling, something he didn’t do much of until he and Shaw had figured their situation out. Rome looked tall and proud, every bit the protective older brother. And the other twin, Remy—it was crazy to see an exact replica of what Rule would look like as a typical guy—still beautiful, but so boring, so common.
I was lost in thought, staring at the photo, so I didn’t hear the water turn off. An arm shot out over my shoulder and picked the picture up. Startled I turned around and came face-to-face with Rome in a towel and that’s it. Man, this was turning into a total test of my self-control. Track pants were nice, a towel was better. He smelled clean but still looked annoyed that I was all up in his space.
“This picture has been everywhere I’ve been. I took it to basic. It went to Korea. It’s been to Pakistan and Iraq, and it just came back from Afghanistan with me. The people in it were always there to remind me what I was fighting for, who I was supposed to be keeping the country safe for.”
I put a hand to my throat and was surprised to find that his words had tears building in the back of my eyes.
“You’re lucky to have that kind of relationship with them.”
He snorted, and I had to try really hard not to reach out and snatch that tiny knot holding the towel up. I don’t know what it was about him that made my body take charge and my mind take a backseat, but it was potent and slightly unnerving. I had never been so overwhelmingly attracted to any man before, not even Jimmy.
“I thought so, too, only then I found out Remy was hiding a secret life, and that Shaw could do a better job taking care of Rule than I ever did.”
I cocked my head to the side and considered him thoughtfully. “What about you?”
He cut me a look and moved back across the room to his dresser. The backside view was just as nice as the front.
“What about me?”
“You always talk about how you fought for them, how you made choices for them. What about you? Who took care of you? Who fought to make the world a better place for you?” I asked the questions in shock, because I couldn’t really believe he didn’t realize how important he was and had always been to his brothers. Those blue eyes never wavered from mine.
“I think you’re trying to diminish all the things you were to Rule and Remy, and that’s not cool. Remy might not have been honest, but by all accounts he was in love and happy. And yes, Rule was a hot mess, but he managed to get it together when it counted, so you did your brotherly duty. It’s time to focus on your own life.”
He turned around to look at me, a T-shirt dangling from his hand. I took a deep breath and forced myself to focus on his face and not his naked chest, or the spot below his waist where that towel was hanging precariously below his belly button.
“Look, I need to apologize for being so bitchy last night. I think it’s cool that you’re trying not to drink anymore. Admirable even. Honestly, I was not a fan of the leather-clad bimbo and her hands all in your pants. It might have made me a little cranky, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
The eyebrow under the scar went up. “Who?”
“The girl from last night.” He shrugged like he didn’t remember and tossed his shirt on the bed.
“Well, you and Rowdy looked like matching rock-and-roll wedding cake toppers. Both so blond, pretty, and all kinds of pierced and tattooed. If I had to stand there and watch him rub your neck or whisper in your ear one more second, it wasn’t going to be pretty.”
I felt my eyes pop wide and my heart started to speed up.
“Rowdy is like my brother.”
“And I don’t remember any chick in leather.”
We stood there in silence, staring at each other. I saw his pulse flutter in his neck and bit my bottom lip. It suddenly felt like we were the only two people in the world, like this room was standing still in time. I was starting to feel like what I thought perfect meant was absolutely boring and I was an idiot forever thinking that was what I wanted. Wild and unleashed seemed so much more exciting than steadfast and firmly planted. Now I just needed him to get on the same page as me with it.
“So here’s the deal. I don’t need you to figure my shit out, I can do it all on my own. I look at you like I want to lick you all over because I do. I don’t really know how to go about starting up something with a guy like you, but as long you promise not to lie to me, to not cheat on me, I want to.”
And I did. I wanted to start it and finish it and enjoy everything in between. He was so different from Jimmy, and honestly, troubled or not, I could see he was so much better. Rome Archer was a force to be reckoned with, a storm brewing of broken thoughts and dangerous demons, of misplaced responsibility and unknown future. I wasn’t sure, but I had a sinking suspicion I might be one of the few able to withstand the destruction left by that storm’s aftermath, and even though my old fear was there, it wasn’t as strong as the attraction I felt for this enigmatic man.
He didn’t respond, but I saw his chest rise and fall as he sucked in a deep breath.
“Cora.” I could hear the hesitation in his tone. “I don’t juggle women and I don’t think I could be any more honest with you than I already have been. But I’m still not the guy you’re looking for, and that hasn’t changed since the other morning. Perfect isn’t even in my vocabulary, even if you are cute enough to make me want to try and be.”
He tapped a finger to his temple, and I saw the shadow move over his eyes. He might not be one hundred percent, but I was starting to think any portion of Rome was better than most men operating at full capacity. I was good with words, could tell him that something about him just got to me, that I thought he was hotter than any guy should be, that I liked that he didn’t just back down from me. Instead I decided that since he was a man of action, I would just show him I knew what I was doing and knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted the last word in this and there really was only one surefire way to get it.
I grabbed the hem of my sundress and whipped it up and off over my head. The bright material landed in a heap on the floor and I was left in my yellow wedges and cute pink underwear. One thing about having small boobs was I didn’t have to really worry about a bra if I didn’t want to. Apparently Rome was a fan of small boobs, because his eyes lit up like a lighter flicking to life. Even in my chunky shoes, with him barefoot, when I made my way to where he was standing, stock-still, the top of my head barely reached his chin. I had to look up at him, and when I did, I put one hand on either side of his face so he couldn’t look away from me.
Those blue, blue eyes got heavy-lidded and dropped just a fraction, which made my blood get all warm and slippery under my skin.
“Don’t be scared, Captain No-Fun, we got this.”
He put his big hands on my naked waist and started to walk me back toward the bed in the center of the room. It would be so easy to be intimidated by a guy like him, only he was looking at me like I was something so unique and so precious that all I could feel was anticipation. That grin that was probably going to make me fall in love with him broke across his face, and I knew that whatever it was I was doing with this man, who was so the opposite of what I thought I wanted, was the right thing. He wasn’t steady, he was most definitely not a man content with his current circumstances, and I was pretty sure his idea of what being a partner to someone looked like was totally different from mine. I still didn’t know that he wanted to be all in with me or even with himself but the pull, the undeniable current of want and need that seemed to loop around us, was just too much to dismiss for a dream that had yet to come along.
“I told you last night you know better than anyone what my idea of fun entails.” His thumb brushed across the jewels dotting my side and trailed up over a nipple that was now straining and begging for attention. The back of my knees hit the bed, and before I knew it, I was on my back and he was looming over me all naked skin and glowing eyes. It was beautiful, he was beautiful, and no matter what happened after this point, I knew I was a lucky girl to be here with him.
“Are you actually going to talk to me this time?”
I put my hands in his short hair as he worked on getting my shoes off and the cute little underwear out of his way. I liked that he was kind of rough, a little impatient, but there was always reverence when his fingers brushed my skin. He kissed me once and dropped the towel.
“Probably not.”
He put his hands under my hips and moved me toward the edge of the bed. I slid my hands down to his shoulders and propped his chin up with the edge of my knuckle so that he was looking at me.
“Why not?”
He ran his hands down the length of one leg and situated me so that my legs were off the bed and he was standing at the apex of them. I was exposed, open to him, and should have felt vulnerable or maybe even shy, but it was impossible to feel anything but appreciated and sexy with the way those eyes burned when he looked at me. My breath got caught in my lungs and couldn’t escape when he touched that little tiny ring situated at the heart of me with just the tip of his index finger. Everything was slick and damp, and his touch just made it all burn hotter.
“Because I’m freaked out that whatever I say might be the wrong thing. And right now, being with you is the one thing that feels solid and real … You’re so full of color, so vibrant you never get lost in all the gray in my head. I don’t want to lose that.”
My heart caught. Those were words a woman would never forget a man saying to her, especially when they came from a man like this. I got my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss that I hoped conveyed how I felt. I arched up off the bed when his finger abandoned the jewelry and went in search of more intimate, deeper territory. I felt those thick digits slide through my folds, brush against quivering nerve endings, play with all the parts of me that were achy and greedy for his touch. He used his thumb to press down on my clit, which had the added benefit of rubbing the smooth edge of my piercing against all those tightly wound centers of pleasure. He knew just how to stroke me, to play me to get the best result.
I kissed him until neither of us could breathe, kissed him until he made me pant his name, kissed him until he got more fingers involved in what he was doing down there and I couldn’t keep it together anymore. I broke apart, felt him drop his head and kiss the side of my neck. I was clutching those broad shoulders like a lifeline. I felt like if I let him go, this thing we were building between us was going to disappear in a puff of smoke—it was just that magical and different. I think he might have even chuckled, but I was pretty sure he had just devastated what it meant to have sex for me.
He pulled me to him and I could feel that erection pulsing and throbbing at the apex of my core. My breasts flattened against the hard plane of his chest, and we were as close as two people could be without being joined. I could feel his stomach muscles tighten and contract against me. I ran a hand over the solid curve of his ass and blinked up at him lazily. I saw that he looked a little hesitant, which made me frown. I wanted all that rigid and ready flesh inside me, now.
“Did I hurt you last time?”
His voice was gruff, and I didn’t appreciate that he was too strong for me to just pull him down into where I wanted him to be. I retaliated by wrapping both legs around his lean waist and lifting myself up to him. I heard him swear, but it only took a fraction of a second before he got with the program and sank all the way down into me. I sighed at the sensation, the stretch and pull my body had to do to accommodate all that length and girth. I dug my hands into the thick muscles running across his neck. I wanted to groan but I tried to answer him instead because those blue eyes were on mine resolutely and he wasn’t moving.