But two hours later, the rani returned looking completely at peace. Nothing dangerous had happened. She was simply tired and ready for bed, so we followed her down the hall, past the Durgavas where my own bed awaited me, to an enormous chamber. The richly paneled walls were painted in blues and whites, but it was the furniture you noticed first. In the flickering light of the hanging lamps, I could see that everything—from the four-poster bed to the elegant dresser and its matching nightstands—had been made from silver. A breeze passed through the room from the gardens outside, and suddenly the room smelled like vetiver. I would discover later that servants took the long kusha grass blinds and soaked them in water so that whenever the wind blew, an aromatic breeze flowed through the chamber.
We stood in a half circle around the rani’s bed, and my feet sank nearly ankle-deep into the soft white carpets spread across the room. Sundari drew the silver curtains closed around the bed while the rani changed into her sleeping garment. Then the curtains were opened again and the queen bid us good night. I followed the other women out the door; only Sundari stayed behind. As captain, her job was to sleep on a bed at the entrance of the rani’s chamber, while three male guards stayed posted beyond the door.
Inside the Durgavas, I went to the bed that Kahini had shown me earlier in the day and where the chest that my father had given to me was waiting.
“You’re my new neighbor,” Jhalkari said.
She had the bed next to mine, and while the other women undressed, changing into long, simple kurtas for the night, she sat cross-legged and watched me take out Father’s murti: he had packed two mango-wood images for me, wrapping each one tenderly in several layers of cloth. Seeing them made my heart ache for home. It was the first night I had ever spent away from him—from all of them. I looked down at Father’s carvings. One was of the warrior goddess Durga riding her tiger. The other was Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles. I placed the murti on a low wooden table next to my bed, and put Father’s chest on the ground below it.
“Tomorrow, after practice,” Jhalkari said, “you can borrow one of my silk angarkhas.”
“That’s very generous of you.” I sat on my bed and faced her. “Thank you.”
Jhalkari shrugged, and I was struck once again by how similar she looked to the rani. “Someone lent one to me when I came.”
“One of the women here?”
“No. She’s gone.” Jhalkari leaned forward, and her voice grew very low. “She was with one of the soldiers, and the rani doesn’t tolerate immorality.”
I glanced over her shoulder to see who might be listening, and realized that one of the beds was empty. “Someone is missing.”
“Kahini. Didn’t you notice?” Jhalkari uncrossed her legs and began to undress. “She left after we ate. She goes to the raja’s theater.” Jhalkari finished, then lay down on her bed and turned toward me. “She leaves every night.”
“And what does the rani think of that?”
“Are you asking if he’s taken her as a concubine?”
My cheeks warmed at Jhalkari’s bluntness. But I guess that’s what I was saying. “Yes.”
Jhalkari glanced at Moti, who had risen from her bed to blow out the oil lamps. Jhalkari waited until Moti was across the room before she whispered, “The rani depends on Kahini to keep the raja happy. She is very close to Kahini, because Kahini helps her keep the raja entertained. And entertainment is everything in Jhansi. You’ll see.”
I wondered what she meant by entertained. I put on one of my kurtas from home and lay down on the mattress. It appeared to have been stuffed with feathers, and nothing had ever felt softer. I watched the remaining lamp make shifting patterns on the ceiling, and thought of how much life was like that light, illuminating one thing at one moment, then casting it into darkness and illuminating something else. A few days ago my greatest concern had been passing the trial and providing for Anuja. Now, I was in a new bed listening to new voices and building new concerns. What if I failed to impress the rani with my skills? Or if the raja took a disliking to me? What if new angarkhas were so expensive that it was impossible to save a dowry fortune for Anuja? I couldn’t waste any time: she was growing up fast and no man is interested in taking an old bride.
I should have been exhausted, but my mind was like a spinning top, going around and around in the same circle. So I took out my diary and recorded my impressions of the day. When I was finished, I closed my eyes. I could hear the rhythmic breathing of the other women, but even when I tried to concentrate on that sound, I couldn’t find sleep. At some point the door of the Durgavas creaked open and the slim, elegant shadow of Kahini appeared. I listened to the soft tinkling of her silver anklets as she made her way through the darkness to the bed across from mine on the other side of the room. Obviously, the rani had great trust in Kahini if she was allowed to come in so late after entertaining the raja each night.
She slipped her juti under her bed and blew out the last lamp. Then the room was silent, and I was the only one left awake.
Chapter Seven