We wake up one day surprised to find ourselves in a less desirable situation that we don’t remember consenting to, but we stay in it because for some reason we feel obligated. As time passes, we convince, fool, and talk ourselves into believing things are normal. It’s not until we see the dream that we lost that we realize what a nightmare we’re in.
When we got to my dorm, Noah was relieved when he found out I actually lived on the second floor. I loved being in his arms again as he carried me all the way back here. I wished I lived further across campus so I could have stayed wrapped in them longer. I was sitting on my bed waiting for him. He had gone to the convenience store across the street from my dorm to get ice for my swollen ankle.
There was a soft knock on the door as it slowly opened. Noah carried in two bags, one was a shopping bag and the other was a huge bag of ice.
“Dude, that’s a lot of ice,” I teased.
“I know, but you have ginormous ankles.” I laughed out loud. “It’s nice to hear that again.”
“What?”
“Your laugh.”
He tossed the shopping bag on to Lisa’s bed then walked in the bathroom with the bag of ice. He returned with a towel wrapped around some of the ice. I moved over giving him room to sit.
He held the ice to my ankle. “Does that feel alright?” he asked.
I nodded. “Thank you, Noah. Sorry you had to carry me all the way here.”
“No problem. You aren’t as heavy as you use to be.”
I grabbed the pillow from behind me and hit him with it. He started laughing. I missed his laugh too.
“Are you saying I was fat before?”
“No!” He paused for a moment. “You have some awesome curves in all the right places, though.” I felt tingles as piercing blue eyes scanned my body and the corners of his mouth curled up.
We sat in silence as Noah glanced around my room. He took a deep breath before his beautiful light blue eyes landed on me. Those eyes could always make me melt.
Clearing his throat he said, “Um…Tweet?”
“Yeah,” I said.
He took a big gulp of air. He was so cute when he was nervous. “I’ve missed you.” He looked down and shook his head slightly. “No, I’ve more than missed you. It’s like when my dad died.” I felt a surge of pain run through me remembering what I had done to him during that time. “I couldn’t imagine a life without him in it. I couldn’t bring him back, so I had to adjust. Even though I’ve started to adjust there’s an emptiness that I can’t fill. You and my parents have always been the three most important people in my life.”
His eyes started turning liquid blue. They conveyed such a concentration of pain and to know I was the cause of part of it made me ashamed.
“Not having two of the three most important people in my life anymore…I’ve just been going through the motions each day, mainly for my mom’s sake. Being here with you, smiling and laughing, it’s the first time I’ve done that since you left that it wasn’t fake. I need you back in my life.”
I knew my answer should have been a definite no, but I had spent six months without him and all it did was make me miss him more. Having his arms wrapped around me, being here together is the first time in months that I haven’t hurt and felt lonely.
“What about Brooke? How do you think she would react with me being around again?”
“I think she’d be fine with it…eventually. Besides, Brooke doesn’t dictate who my friends are.”
Brooke has had six months with him without me being around. If she hasn’t managed to establish a solid relationship with Noah by now then certainly me being around won’t make a difference. Plus, I’m an hour and a half away, so I won’t be seeing them every day. It would be wonderful just to be able to talk to him again.
“You don’t hate me for what I did?” I asked, glancing down at my lap.
Noah placed his finger under my chin, lifting my gaze up to meet his. “I could never hate you, Tweet. I severely disliked you for a while.” He winked at me.
“I’m sorry I hurt you like that. I was just wanting…” My voice cracked with emotion. I was remembering that horrible day when I left him in the park and now he’s forgiving me.
“I think I understand why you did it. I promise I will stay completely in the friend zone. I will not tempt you at all with my body.”
I shook my head and chuckled. “Okay.”
“Really?” I nodded my head. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m so glad you fell.”
“Yeah, me too.” Two of the biggest Kool-Aid smiles ever appeared across both our faces.
Noah glanced over at the bag he had thrown on Lisa’s bed. “Hold this on your ankle for a second. I got you something.”
He got up to grab the bag. I had no idea what he would have gotten me. He came and sat back on my bed, keeping the item hidden behind his back.
“Well, what is it?” I wasn’t a very patient person.
“Close your eyes,” he said. I did as I was told. “Don’t open them until I say so.”
“I won’t.”
“Promise?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“Say it.”
I couldn’t stop my laughter. “I promise I won’t open my eyes.”
“Good.” There was silence for a few seconds. “Okay, open your eyes.”
My eyes opened and the first thing I saw was the beautiful boy sitting in front of me with a shy smile on his lips. I followed his gaze as he glanced down. He was holding a box of chocolate snack cakes, a container of chocolate frosting, and a plastic spoon.
“Hey bestie. It’s great to have you back,” he said.
“It’s great to be back.”
We ate cake and frosting, well I ate frosting, while we caught each other up on our lives. Noah loved school. Although he loved baseball, he opted not to play this season even though coach begged and offered him a scholarship. Noah’s parents had been saving for his college since the day he was born. Scholarship or not, his tuition was paid for.
Noah said the reason he didn’t want to play was because he felt he needed to concentrate on his classes. Although he didn’t say it, I think the main reason was because of his dad not being here. Spending time with his dad sharing their love of the game was always a happy time for Noah. I don’t think his heart had healed enough to be able to go out on the field knowing his dad wasn’t in the stands cheering him on.
I told him Emily had moved back to Charleston, was a paralegal at a law firm downtown, and had gotten her own apartment. I talked about adjusting to life away from home, but how much I loved my classes. I filled him in on Lisa and he was anxious to meet her. It was as if the six months apart had never happened. We talked just like we always had. Both of us avoided the subject of Brooke and Matt as long as we could. We were enjoying being together.
Noah was leaning back against the wall massaging my hurt ankle that rested in his lap. We both startled when his phone chirped with a text. He looked at it and smirked.
“Brooke?” I asked.
“Yeah. She sent me a picture. Looks like they’re having a good time.” He typed a quick reply then tossed the phone on the bed.
“You can go if you want. I’m fine. Thanks for taking care of me…”
“Would you stop it. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t want to cause any problems for you, Noah,” I said.
“You’re not.”
“Are you in love with her?” The words flew out of my mouth before I knew it.
A knot immediately formed in my stomach and twisted tighter and tighter with the passing of each second of silence. My teeth started to grind together and my body tensed.
He slowly let out a deep sigh. “Honestly? Between my dad passing away, taking care of my mom, and missing you, I haven’t thought about my feelings for Brooke. I know I sound like a dick.”
“You’re just being honest. You’ve had a lot to deal with this year.”
“She tells me she loves me all the time. I never say anything back. I just smile and change the subject. I care about her.”
“I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
He had a genuine look in his eyes and said, “You can ask me anything, Tweet. I just don’t know how to answer you right now.”
“Fair enough.”
“So who was that Smurff*cker you were with at the party?” he asked in a calm controlled voice.
He started working his jaw and the veins in his neck started popping out slightly. He was trying hard not to show his anger or jealousy. He was trying to stay in the friend zone.
“His name is Matt. And you know I don’t refer to Brooke as Princess Bitchella.” I smiled at him.
Smirking, he said, “You’ve been thinking on that one for a while, haven’t you?”
“Nope. Actually, it just came to me.”
“Matt…” He said the name like it left a bad taste in his mouth. “Is he your boyfriend?”
“Yes.” This was the first time I admitted to anyone, even myself, that Matt was my boyfriend. I wanted Noah to know I had moved on too.
“I heard what he said to you, Tweet.”
“How long had you been at the party? I walked all over that place and never saw you.”
“I had just walked in when I saw you and Matt.” I could see a slight cringe cross his face. “Has he forced you to do anything you didn’t want to do?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No,” I said with a hint of defensiveness in my voice.
I shifted my gaze down. It was sort of a lie. There had been two times when Matt pushed me to have sex with him when I told him I didn’t want to. He didn’t hurt me, but I did have a bruise for a week on my upper arm where he had grabbed me.
“He’s not usually like that. He was drunk. He’s a theater major and is under a lot of pressure with this upcoming production...plus with classes…” I was rambling and fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. Noah placed his hand on top of mine, stopping my fidgeting.
“Does he treat you right, Tweet?” I didn’t look up at him. I just nodded. “If he does anything to hurt you, I’ll break every f*cking bone in his body.”
I knew Noah meant what he said. He would hurt Matt or anybody severely if they did anything to me. I couldn’t help the small smile that crossed my face. I felt safe now that my hero was back in my life.
At 2 am, the door slowly creaked open and Lisa stuck her head in cautiously.
“You can come in,” I told her.
She staggered in, still feeling the effects of the alcohol, but more subdued. She walked straight over to her bed, her eyes half closed, never once glancing in our direction, and plopped down. “Lisa?” I said.
“Mmmhmm?”
“This is Noah.”
Her eyes shot open, she sat straight up, and turned toward us. “The Noah?” She smiled.
Noah glanced over at me looking curious to know what I had told her.
“Yes.”
Noah slid to the edge of the bed and held his hand out to her. “Hey, it’s great to meet you, Lisa.”
She reached and grabbed his hand. “Well, hellooo The Noah. It’s really great to see you…here…with Amanda.” She looked back and forth between us, grinning like a cat that had just caught the canary.
“I guess I should be going.” Noah stood and started collecting the trash from our snack.
Lisa stood and met him. “I’ll take that for you, so you can say toodles to each other.”
She walked to the other side of the room pretending to give us some privacy.
“I’m not sure what time I’m heading back tomorrow. I want to see you before I go, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. You know?” A look of disappointment crossed his face.
“I know,” I said.
“I’ll definitely talk to you tomorrow.”
“And I’ll be home for Thanksgiving in a few days,” I said.
I guess we had stared at each for an abnormal amount of time because Lisa felt it necessary to clear her throat, loudly. Noah leaned down giving me a kiss on my forehead. I couldn’t help closing my eyes and savoring the feel of his lips on me again.
“Goodnight, Tweet,” he whispered.
“Goodnight, Noah.”
He turned to Lisa. “Goodnight, Lisa.”
“Goodnight, The Noah.”
He smiled as he glanced over at me. He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.
Lisa watched Noah until the door closed behind him and then plopped back down on her bed. “Well, well, well…The Noah is licktastic,” she said, cocking one eyebrow up.
“We’re going to try and do the friend thing.”
“That’s good. Start off slow.”
“What you mean start off slow? We’re friends. That’s it. Nothing else is going to happen between us. Noah’s with Brooke and I’m with Matt.”
She made sure I saw her eye roll at the mention of Matt. “Sweetheart, there was so much eye f*cking going on between the two of you, it was like an ophthalmologist’s wet dream. And I saw how you reacted when he kissed you.”
“How?”
“You didn’t just breathe him in. You inhaled him deeply. You didn’t soak him in. You ab-sorb-ed him in.” She laid back down.
“You’re still severely drunk.”
“Mmmhmm. INHALED DEEPLY!”